


Sensual Healing

by fergus80



Category: Dark Angel
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-08
Updated: 2015-03-08
Packaged: 2018-03-16 21:21:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 50
Words: 136,800
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3503198
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fergus80/pseuds/fergus80
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Max & Alec go to rescue some X7's, only things go very, very wrong.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, this is set after Hello/Goodbye & DDA. Now, I got this idea while speculating about the season finale of DA with everyone over on the spoiler board, before we knew what was going to happen. And, it might have some themes like that in the story Dark Terror by jinx, (which if you haven't read, DO SO), but this story was thought off without reference to that story, and is actually quite different. Also, the tone of this story, is VERY different than my other stories, and anything that happened in my other stories, do NOT apply to this one. While there will be sex in this story, it's not like my others. Just so you know. Hopefully this story comes across as emotional and as deep as I am trying to make it be. Okay, with all that said, hopefully not giving too much away, on with the story. (crosses fingers hoping everyone likes it)

Max walked into Jam Pony and was slightly surprised when Normal didn't yell at her for being late again, but then she noticed everyone's eyes focused on the TV. She walked over to Original Cindy and Alec, "What going on?"

The two turned to her, and Alec sighed, "Glad you finally decided to show up."

Max gave him a dirty look, "Hey, don't go busting my chops like Nor..."

He cut her off, "Max, White's got got a group of X7's."

"What?" She asked, her hostility immediately gone, as she looked up at him, "How do you know? What happened?"

Alec motioned back at the TV, "Reporters got it on tape, their showing how some of the transgenics are human looking kids. Scaring the hell out of everyone."

Max thought about it, "We have to go get them." She said, "I can't believe White actually got filmed getting them though."

Alec rolled his eyes at her, "Max, he let the reporters get the footage. He wanted it shown on TV."

Cindy and Max looked at him, "Why?" They both said.

"He wanted you to see it. He knows you will try and rescue them, it's a trap."

She knew he was right, it made perfect sense. White wasn't stupid. But, if it was a trap... "If it's a trap, then they are still alive. We have to save them."

*We.* Alec sighed, *Why am I always included in this?* He asked himself, but failed to ask why he always went along with it. "Okay, but we need a plan, and we need to be ready for anything."

"Well, first... we need to get outta here without Normal..."

Cindy smiled, "Original Cindy's got your back, I'll deal with Normal." They smiled their thanks, and they headed out of Jam Pony.  
___________________________________

A few hours later, they were outside of a newer compound just outside of the city. They had made their plans, found the exact location, and were now scouting out the area before they would move in. They crouched low to the ground by the trees, looking at the building, the guard towers, the high fence. "Looks like basically the same design as the last, just a lot smaller, and newer." Alec said quietly. Max nodded.

"Well, let's do this." She said. He nodded and they leapt up, and ran to the fence, jumping over it quickly, and ran towards the main building. They headed around to the back, and made their way up to the roof, and over to the sky light. They looked in, and saw the group of X7's caged up. 

Alec shook his head, "This is such a trap Max."

"Shut up." She said.

"Max... think about it. Come on, it's way too easy. Skylight, the kids right in plain sight...."

"Who cares, they're alive, and we are getting them out of here." She said opening the widow.

He rolled his eyes at her, he knew there was no changing her mind. Max opened the window, and jumped inside, he sighed and followed her. They looked around, ready to be attacked, the room was empty, they turned to each other shocked, and then ran up to the X7's. "Hope you brought a key." He said looking at the lock on the cage door, and then looked around to try and find something to pry it open. 

"Funny!" She said to him, and then turned back to the kids, "We're getting you out of her, just relax." He found a large lead pipe and pried it from the wall, and lodged it against the lock. Then they both jumped at the sound of a gun shot. Turning they saw White standing in the middle of the room, with his gun raise in the air, pointed at the ceiling. 

"452, 494. How nice to see you again." He said pointing the gun at the two of them. Alec looked over at Max, eyed the pipe, and then grabbed the railing in front of him, and flipped over it, and jumped, hitting White in the chest with a swift kick, and then rolled to the side and up to his feet, the gun flying in the opposite direction.

White jumped to his feet, the two men looked at each other, and started to circle one another. Max watched from the second story for a second, and then turned back to the cage, and started working the pipe against the lock again. "Well, White, where are all your men? You can't really be here all alone." 

He smiled at Alec, "Wouldn't you like to know." He said, and moved forward with a kick, which Alec dodged, spinning and bringing an elbow to his gut, the other arm wrapping around White's neck, and flipping him over him. White moved with the flip, landed on his feet, and turned with a quick punch to Alec's chin. His head moved back, but only for a second, as he countered and his arms came out, grabbing White by the side, and sent him sailing into the brick wall.

White hit the wall, but bounced back with a spinning kick to Alec's chest sending him to the floor. White jumped ready to land on him, he rolled out of the way and up to his feet, his fist coming out and connecting with the side of White's head. Max looked over her shoulder at the two men kicking the shit out of each other. She turned back to the lock again, seeing that he was holding his own, and soon the metal was giving way.

Alec picked himself up from hitting the stairs, and they started to circle again, "Getting tired 494?"

He just smirked, spit out a little blood, "No where near, just trying to figure you out." He said, then they lunged for each other at the same time. White taking a kick to the head, Alec getting swept off his feet hitting his back on the floor, but then moving his arms back over his head, pushing himself back up, kicking White again, sending him flying into a bunch of crates. The wood broke around his body, and he jumped back up, his jaw tense. 

Max finally pried open the lock, and flew open the cage door. "Out. NOW!" She yelled at the kids, "Move, move." They ran out, and down the stairs, her right behind them. They headed for the door, and she yelled to Alec, "Let's get outta here!"

He heard her, and as White lunged for him, he moved to the side, and turned, kicking him in the back, White hitting the floor once again. Then he turned and ran out the doors behind Max, that's when he heard gun fire. He turned his head slightly, and saw the guards running towards them, guns firing. "Move! Move!" He yelled. The X7's were already at the fence, when Alec saw Max hit the dirt. He ran to her, and saw the blood trickling out of the back of her leg. He pulled her up by her arm, "Come on," he yelled, knowing she would be okay, and they kept going. They just made it to the fence, the kids on the other side. Max looked quickly over at Alec, her leg throbbing. He looked down, and knew she wouldn't be able to jump it herself. He was just about to pick her up, but he wasn't fast enough, as more guards came from the other direction. 

Max looked at the kids, and yelled. "GO!" towards them, as her and Alec moved back to back, the guards circling around them. The X7's running into the woods.

Alec looked as the guards holding their guns, trained on them, and caught the sight of White walking towards them. "Great, this is just great."

Max winced at the pain in her leg, "At least they made it out." 

Alec nodded, "Yeah, but what about us?"

They turned towards White, as he walked into the circle, "You know, why don't you just make this a whole lot easier on everyone, and just give up?"

Max rolled her eyes, "Why don't you just learn, that you won't win."

White laughed, and looked at all the guards, "Because 452, I think I did just win. I finally have you where I want you."

Alec looked at Max, and then to White, and knew he was right. There was no way that they were both going to get out of there, and he knew that if White got Max, they were going to experiment on her. They didn't care what happened to him, but they would torture her. He looked around at the guards, and noticed they were watching the talk between Max and White, and he made a quick decision.

He looked over at White, his face like stone, "You only think you have won." He said, then turned to Max, and quickly said, "Don't look back." And with that, in a blur of motion, his hands went around her waist, and with a bend of his knees, and big push, he was throwing her up into the air backwards and over the fence. The guards barely had time to react, as she landed on the other side, and with a shocked look on her face started to turn, when she heard his voice again. "RUN MAX!" He yelled not even turning around, and she ran, as she heard the sound of one gun shot going off, and it echoed in her brain as she ran through the woods, tears running down her cheeks.   
______________________________

(One Month Later)

Max walked into the apartment, and immediately went over to the computer, "You paged me?"

Logan looked up at her expectant face, "Yeah, I've got an Eyes Only assignment, it seems that this crime lord..."

She cut him off, dropping her shoulders, "An Eyes Only mission? That's it? Still no news? Nothing at all? Are you even looking, even trying to find him?" She yelled.

"Listen Max, I know you want to find Alec and rescue him, but you have to give this up. It's been a month, and there is nothing. No news, nothing at all. Maybe you need to accept the fact that..."

"Accept what? That he's dead? NO! I won't do that. Did you do that? Did you give up believing that I was alive?" She asked him, and saw the slight hurt look on his face.

"That was different."

"How Logan? How was that different?

"Two reasons. One, Manticore always wanted you alive, not Alec. And two, I loved you."

She caught herself on her the words that were about to come out of her mouth, and she swallowed hard. Logan caught it, his eyes widening slightly. She closed her eyes and turned away from him, wrapping her arms around herself. She heard him stand up and move around her, staying far enough away not to touch her, but still have her feel his presence.

"Max..." He said, looking down at her. She shook her head, not wanting him to continue, she didn't want to hear it, her mind remembering a month ago. After the X7's had escaped, and she had somehow managed to drag herself to Logan's door. She had went there, hoping that he would help her, help her get him back. But once she got there the only thing she could do was collapse on the couch, and cry, trying to get out what happened between sobs.

It was then that all kinds of memories had flooded her brain, as her heart and mind actually started to communicate, and let her see how things really were. How wrong she had been about Alec, how much she depended on him, how much she needed him. And since then, her brain and heart had been constantly attacking her thoughts, battling her stubborn nature, getting her to realize one simple fact.

She looked up at him with tears running down her face. "But I do love him." She looked back to the floor, not able to handle her own emotions, and the look of hurt on his face as well. "I just didn't know it then, I didn't realize it until just recently, until it was to late." More tears ran down her face, and she shook her head. "No, no. He can't be dead. He can't be." She looked back up at him, "I have to find him, or at least find out the truth."  
_________________________________  
(One Month Earlier)

"Where does she live?"

"Antarctica"

**shock**

"Where does she work?"

"On the street corner"

**shock**

"Where does she go after work?"

"My place", cocky grin.

**shock**

"Tear out the stitches, and turn up the power. Where does she live?"

"France"

**shockkk**

"Where does she work?"

"As a Nun."

**shockkk*

"Where does she go after work?"

"Wouldn't you like to know."

**shockkkkkkkkkk**

"Pry open his eyes, get the laser ready."

(Two Weeks Later)

"Where does she live?"

Nothing.

**shock, blinding light, cutting pain**

"Where does she work?"

Silence.

**shock, blinding light, cutting pain**

"Where does she go after work?"

Quiet.

**shock, blinding light, cutting pain**

(Present)

"Where does she live?"

**EMPTY**

"Where does she work?"

**HOLLOW**

"Where does she go after work?"

**NOTHING**  
***NOTHING***  
****NOTHING****


	2. Chapter 2

Max took a deep breath, and made a decision. She looked Logan in the eye, "Okay, this is how it's going to be. If you want me to do any more Eye's Only Missions for you, then you find me Alec. Until then, I'm not doing anything." She said, and turned on her heel and started to walk for the door.

Logan stood there for a moment in shock, then spoke, as she was reaching for the door knob, "Max, wait..."

She turned to look at him, "What?"

He sighed, and walked over to his computer and sat down. "I may have something."

"WHAT?" She said, anger in her voice as she fumed over to the computer, "You have something, and you didn't tell me!"

Logan put his hands up, "Calm down, I don't know what it is. It's probably nothing, I found it, but it doesn't really say much. I was trying to get more information on it, before I told you. But nothing ever panned out from it."

Her eyes widened, "How long have you had this?" She could see him becoming more and more uncomfortable under her gaze, "HOW LONG?"

He swallowed, "Max, it really isn't that much information, and it might not be anything at all."

"How long!" She demanded again.

"About three weeks." He said quietly, calling up the information on his computer.

She stared at him open mouthed, "Three weeks?" She could barely say it, "THREE FUCKING WEEKS! When the hell were you going to tell me? Where ever you going to tell me?"

"I wanted to see what it was first, if it meant anything."

She rolled her eyes, "Yeah, Right. It didn't mean anything until I said I wasn't going to help you anymore. What is this Logan, huh? Just give me enough information about what I need to have me keep coming back? Is that how it works? Or what, are you trying to punish me because I decided to break up with you? What the hell is it?"

He didn't answer her, "Do you want the info or not?" He asked.

Her blood was boiling in anger, but she tried to calm herself, and looked at the monitor. "What is it?" She asked through gritted teeth.

"It's a rumor I got about a small outpost, outside of the city. A few miles from the place you and Alec rescued the X7's. I have no idea what's there, if there even is anything there. All I know is that a few unmarked cars and vans move through the area every now and then, but as far as records go, nothing is supposed to be there." He turned to her, "It could be absolutely nothing, it could be some other government branch, it could be something else entirely." He watched her eyes take in the information of where the outpost was supposed to be, and her mind thinking. "Max... think about this. Why would he still be alive?"

Max shook her head and turned away, she didn't want to hear it. He continued, and stood up as well. "White doesn't like him, he hates Alec, tried to already kill him. White wants you, and if he was going to use Alec to get to you, he would have done it already." He sighed, but still went on, trying to be logical with her, "And honestly Max, he's probably better off dead."

She spun around at those words. "What? What do you mean by that?"

"Max... if he is still alive, what do you think they are doing to him? Do you think they just locked him up in a cell? If he's alive, they are probably trying to get him to tell them where you are. And, obviously, since it's been a month, and White hasn't found you yet, he didn't tell them anything. Which means..." He trailed off, letting her own imagine go from there, and then he continued. "Let him go Max. You heard the gun shot, you know the truth. Just admit it to yourself, and move on."

"No, I can't." She told him, shaking her head. "Logan, what if he is still alive? Am I just supposed to leave him there, let them do God knows what to him? No, I can't do that. I don't care if I have to find White myself, and make him tell me the truth, make him take me to his body. I have to know, I have to know the truth." She looked over at the computer, "And that's the place I'm going to start." She then turned back to him, "And you!" She said, venom seeping into her voice, "If you ever keep anything like this from me again, if you ever DO anything like this again," she moved her hand quickly into a slap, and stopped a centimeter before touching the skin of his cheek, he looked at her with wide eyes. "Next time, I won't stop." With that she walked out the door, leaving a very shocked and very frightened Logan Cale, who knew the slap would have been a very, very deadly one.  
_________________________________

"Why do we even bother asking these questions?"

"Because, we need the information. We have our orders, 'get the information by any means necessary'."

"But it's useless to try anymore."

"I know that, you know that. But if we don't keep trying, it's our butts that will be fried."

"Fine, less start again. What, haven't we tried?"

"I'm not sure."

"Well, lets try a mixture of the drugs and electric volts again."

"Ready"

"Where does she live?"

**Nothing**

"Where does she..."  
__________________________________

Max drove her motorcycle to the outskirts of the location the site was supposed to be, there was nothing but trees in the area. She hid the bike and started to scout the area, looking for anything that she could. As she continued she found a dirt road turning off the one she had just come from, and started to follow it back into the woods. After a long ways, she spotted it, a couple small buildings, and a parking lot. A couple vans and cars there, no fence, no guard towers, nothing really at all. It looked like it was just a park station or something to that effect. 

Her heart sunk, as she caught the sign out front. 'Wildlife Preservation Lab and Treatment Facility'. *Yeah, a government agency all right.* She thought and rolled her eyes. But through her disappointment, something was nagging at her. Her eyes zoomed around the buildings and to the cars. *Why would they use unmarked vehicles?* She thought, it troubled her. *Can't hurt to take a look around.* And with that she moved slowly to the buildings, *Might as well make sure they are doing what they say they are.* She crept up slowly, and moved to the first building, and started looking into the windows. 

The first one she looked into, almost made her laugh, *Cafeteria, wow, nice.* She rolled her eyes, and moved on. The next few were offices, the next was a bathroom, and the last few were labs filled with experiments and chemicals. Max let out another sigh, and then moved towards the next building. She looked into the windows, a couple more labs were visible, and then she stopped, as she looked at the next window coming up. *Bars? Why would there be bars on the windows...* She thought as she made her way to look. She looked inside to find an empty room. *Well, except for the metal grate fixed to the wall.* But then her eyes caught the toilet in the corner, and the sturdy door with a small view port, *And more bars. A prison cell.* She swallowed hard.

*Empty* She thought, *But for how long?* She moved around the corner of the building, *No windows.* She thought as she went to the next corner, and found the same thing. She took a deep breath, she now knew there was something going on, and she moved back around the building, to the empty room. She looked in, she couldn't see any clues at all, she looked at the bars, studying them closely, they weren't coming off. She looked towards the other rooms before, some of the labs, she could easily get in there.

She was just about to move and break into the next window when a sound caught her attention, and she stopped. She looked inside and saw the door to the room open. She moved to the side, not to be seen, and she had to hold back the gasp. Two men walked in carrying a body in between them. She recognized him immediately, *Alec.* She just about screamed, knowing that he was still alive. She watched them drag him into the room, and throw him onto the metal grate, effectively now being used as a bed. He didn't move from the position they but him in, and the guards then walked out of the room, shutting the door behind them.

She turned back to the window, and knocked lightly on it, trying to get him to hear her. But he didn't move. Max's heart rate speed up a little, *Calm down, probably just have him drugged, and he's asleep.* She told herself, and then moved quickly back to the last window, looking inside, and finding no one there, she jimmied open the window, and let herself in. Moving over to the door, she listened, not hearing anything, she opened it slowly, and peeked around the corner. The hallway was deserted. 

Max crept out and started to slowly walk down the corridor, back the way the room should be, she ducked a few times, passing more labs, this time with people inside working. Finally she got to the door, and looked through the bars. He was still laying there, his position unchanged. She unlatched the door, and quickly opened it, running over to him. She shook him, "Alec." She said, and did it again. "Come on, wake up." She said, then gasped as she looked at him.

He wasn't asleep, his eyes were wide open. She looked into his eyes, and he just starred, but not at her, he was starring at nothing. "Alec?" She said again, her hand coming to the side of his face. Nothing. "Alec, can you hear me?" She asked. Nothing.

She snapped her fingers in front of his face, and he didn't flinch. His eyes blinked every now and then, but it was just a physical, normal response. Max looked over him, he was in some shirt and pants they obviously had provided, but they were put on haphazardly." Alec, come on, we have to get you out of here, snap out of it." She pleaded with him, but he he didn't move. 

She tried to not let the fear and anguish grip her, she didn't have time for that right now. She pulled him into a sitting position, and then lifted him to his feet. She had to hold him up, then she swung him up and onto her shoulder, and started for the door. 

She looked into the hallway, and tried as quickly as she could to get back to the room she had come in. It wasn't easy but soon she was there, and hoisted his body up and out the window, and then followed. She looked around, and then down at him again, this time with the light from outside. 

He was pale, so very pale, and... thin. She had thought he felt kinda light carrying him out, and now she saw why. His face almost seemed hollow, but that wasn't what troubled her. What troubled her, was how hollow his eyes were, how empty they were, as they just absently starred up into the sky. 

Max shook her head, stood, and picked him back up, making her way back into the woods, and to the direction to her bike, as fast as she could. She mentally kicked herself for bringing the bike, but she now realized that when she came up here she wasn't thinking that Alec wouldn't be able to hold onto her. She sat him on the bike, and she quickly sat down in front of him, wrapping his arms around the front of her. She started the bike, and then her one hand held securely onto his arms, and then made it out onto the road, back to the city. It was a challenge to keep the cycle steady, and him from falling off, but she somehow managed.

She pulled into the garage, and parked. Standing up, she pulled him back over her shoulder, and started into the building without even locking her baby up. When the elevator doors opened, she walked into the apartment, barging in. 

Logan came around the corner, and his eyes got wide, anger fueled in her eyes at him, "Not important huh! Three weeks!" She yelled at him, moving into the living room, and gently lowering Alec to it. She crouched in front of him, waving her hand, "Alec, please, look at me.

Logan moved over behind her, "He was there?" He asked quietly in disbelief.

She stood up and spun around, "Yeah, and look what they did to him. You better get that damn doctor friend of yours over here now!" She yelled, and then turned back to Alec, as she heard Logan moving quickly into the other room. He was slightly slouched to the side, his head tiled down. Her hand came up under his chin, and moved it to look at her, a single tear running down her face. "Alec, can you hear me?" She said softly, moving her hand back and forth in front of him, his eyes didn't move. "Oh, God, what did they do to you?" She asked, moving up onto the couch beside him, and pulling him into her arms, hugging his still form to her, her head resting against the top of his head, her tears dripping into his hair.


	3. Chapter 3

A few minutes later, Logan walked back into the room. Max was still sitting on the couch, Alec in her arms, her body rocking him slightly. Logan cleared his throat slightly, and she looked up at him. "I talked to Carr, with what I told him, he want's us to bring him to the clinic. He has the place cleared out, except for one nurse, and she can be trusted."

Max nodded, and moved around in front of Alec again. She brought his face, between her hands, moving his head to make his eyes at least stare in her direction. "We're going to take care of you." She told him, her fingers trailing over his cheek. She sighed, "I'm praying it's the drugs in his system." She said out loud, sort of directed at Logan, but also trying to reassure herself. She then stood, and brought him to his feet again. 

Logan nodded, "It could be." He watched her pick him up, and he moved over to help, but the look on her face, had him move and back away. He followed her out of the apartment, grabbing his keys in the process. They got into the elevator, and Max leaned Alec against the wall, her arms going around his waist, keeping him upright. "Carr, will take a look at him, and find out what we can do." He told her, his words trying to help.

She glared at him, "Well, we would have been able to do a lot more good, three weeks ago." She saw him cringe at her words, and was glad they had hit home. 

"Max, I'm sor..."

She cut him off, "I don't want to hear it." She said as the doors opened and she put Alec back over her shoulder, and they made their way into the garage. Logan opened the back door, and Max slipped Alec into the back seat, and then got in beside him. Logan shut the door behind them, and then moved to get in the drivers side. 

Max turned back to Alec, "It's going to be okay." She said to him, hoping that somehow he was hearing her, that her words were getting to him. But, with no physical response at all from him, she wasn't sure of anything, and it troubled her. She felt the car turn on, and Logan pull out onto the road, but her eyes stayed on his. Trying to see the light that used to shine so bright in those hazel eyes of his, but it wasn't there. She sighed, "God, Logan? What did they do to him?" She asked, "He can't see or hear me, I don't even know if he can feel it when I touch him."

Logan took a look at the two of them in the rear view mirror, and swallowed before he spoke, not wanting to say it, but decided he needed to anyway. "Max, he might not be able too. Who knows, maybe he is blind, or deaf, who knows what happened." She shook her head, not wanting to think about it. Logan took another glimpse at them, then turned back to the road. "What was the place like?"

"What?" She asked finally looking at him.

"The place he was being held, what was it like?"

She shook her head, "You're asking me about that, right now?"

"Well, it just seems like you got in and out pretty quickly. Usually don't they hold transgenics at a highly secured facility?"

She sighed, "Yeah, usually they do. This place, was well... pathetic. I think they didn''t think anyone was coming for him, or knew of the place. Also, the cell they had him in... well it was also pathetic...." He mind thought about it for awhile, it was like they knew he wasn't a threat anymore. That he wouldn't escape. She shook slightly at the thought.

Logan pulled up to the curb, and parked. Soon they were inside the clinic, and Max was putting Alec down on the examination table. Carr and the nurse came in. He looked at Logan and Max, then turned his attention to Alec. He brought out his pen light, and washed the bright light across his eyes a few times, then looked up at Logan, a slight look of worry on his face, that he then tried to mask it as he looked at Max. "Okay, we'll do some CAT scans, X-rays, MRI's, blood tests, and stuff. Then we will have more answers. Okay?" She nodded. He turned back to Alec, looked him over again, then looked up at the nurse. "First we need to get him out of these clothes, and cleaned up a little bit. Also, I need to do a physical as well."

Logan went to move out the door, but Max didn't budge. "Max, he's safe, we can let them.."

"No. I'm staying." She said. She wasn't going to leave him now, not again. He had saved her life, twice. And that was only on this last mission. He saved her by throwing her over that fence, sacrificing his own life for hers. And then, she almost choked at the thought, he saved her again by not telling White where she was. She knew he was like this because of her, he was tortured to get information on her, and he didn't give in. Because if he had, White would have had her already. 

The nurse came over, and started with his shirt, Max helped, and when they got it up over his head, Max let out a loud gasp. Her hands immediately moving to the skin on his chest. "What?" The doctor asked immediately, then after looking much closer, her saw what she had saw instantly with her enhanced vision.

"God, what did they do?" She asked again, looking at the mostly faded and still healing scars all over his chest and arms. Small cuts, large cuts, burn marks. She mentally shook, she knew they weren't that old, a week tops, with the rate their bodies healed. A tear ran down her cheek, her hands slightly shaking. 

Carr looked up at Logan again, then back to Max. He sighed, and walked up behind her. "Max, please, let's just wait out in the waiting room, and let the Doctor do his job. He'll get us if Alec needs you or anything changes."

She didn't want to leave, but knew they would get the answers that they needed faster if she wasn't there, hovering like she was. "Okay." She said softly, and looked back down at Alec, "I'll be back." She told the still form, and then turned and walked out of the room.  
_________________________________

Max paced back and forth, Logan sitting in a chair just watching her. "I thought it was going to take less time if I waited out here." She said.

"It hasn't been that long."

She whirled towards him, "It's been too long. Way too long. They have been torturing him for a month, Logan, a month. Those scars may have looked very old, but they were recent. Very recent. And it's all because of me."

"Max..."

"Don't Max me! It's true. They interrogated and tortured him to get information on me, and he didn't do it. And now look at him!" She wanted to hit something, hit someone. She was angry, so unbelievably angry. But at the same time, she was falling apart. "Do you know what they had to do to him, to make him like that? Do you?" She asked, he didn't speak. "I never experienced re-indoctrination, or probing by psy-ops, but I heard enough about them, that it was FAR from pleasant. Alec's already had both done to him, and he still, somehow managed to survive through it, intact. But now...." She trailed off, the thoughts more than enough without the words too. 

Her head shot up when she heard the door open, and she rushed over to the doctor and then walked past him back into the room. Alec was laying on the table, different clothes on him. Carr came around the table, and Logan walked back into the room. "We put some new, clean clothes on him." She nodded, and looked up at him. He sighed, and looked at the folder in front of him, and then back at her. He took a deep breath.

"Spit it out already." She said, not wanting to wait.

Carr looked at Logan, then back at Max. "Well, he does have drugs in his system, but they will pass out of his system soon."

"So that's what's causing this?" She asked looking up at him with hope.

But the look in the doctor's eyes, crashed those dreams completely. "No. The drugs in his system should make him much more willing to talk. Extremely effective truth serum. He also has some remnants of other drugs in his system, some of which I have no idea what they are, but it's not causing this catatonic state that he's in."

"Then what's wrong with him?"

The doctor sighed again, debating whether to say everything. The fact was, it was truly sickened by what he had to report. "Okay, I'll give you a list, and explain everything." He said and walked over to the wall, turning on a switch, which displayed many images, scans, and x-rays. "His body is covered in small abrasions, cut marks, bruises, burns, chemical or heat induced. Almost every bone in his body has been broken and then re-set, allowed to heal, quickly, and then some broken again." Max's eyes closed, as the doctor went on. "His nerve endings, are healing, but have been shocked to the point where a normal human would not be able to feel anything, actually a normal human would have died a long time ago." He sighed, again, the idea of everything that possibly happened, sickening him, and he decided not to go on. 

Max looked back up at him, tears running down her face. She then looked back down at Alec, her hand lightly stroking the side of his face. "Any good news at all?" She asked, trying to sound a little hopefully, her hand moving to push some hair from his face.

"Well. Yes, and no. It depends on how you look at it."

"What do you mean?" Logan asked from behind her, his voice quiet too, as the knowledge made him sick as well.

"The brain scans are normal, his vision is fine, and so is his hearing. So, physically, he can see and hear."

"So what are you saying?" Max asked looking back up.

"There's nothing I can do for him. It's all mental. He's somehow locked himself inside his own mind."

Max nodded, and looked back down at him. He had blocked it out, retreated inside himself. Blocked out the pain, the torture, the questions. He hid inside his head, to not answer those questions about her, to not feel the pain they inflicted upon him for not answering. "So, what do we do?" She asked.

Carr looked back over at Logan, and they exchanged looks. "There is a very good hospital, just outside the city limits. I have some pull with someone there, and I know they can keep things quiet."

Her head shot up, "WHAT? You want to put him in a hospital?"

"Max," Carr started with her. "You can visit him whenever..."

"NO! No way. How is he going to get better if he's stuck all alone in a hospital?" The doctor and Logan exchanged looks again. "No..." She started, "You... you don't think he will get better, do you?" She stumbled on her words. Carr looked down. "You're wrong. Both of you." She said starting back at Logan, then the doctor. "He just needs some help, he'll get through this." She said, even though deep down she was afraid. Very afraid that they were right.

"Max, you can't possibly take care of him. Give him the care that he needs now." She shook her head, not wanting to listen. The doctor went on, "Think about it. He can't do ANYTHING for himself. He can't eat by himself, he can't bath himself, he can't even go to the bathroom by himself."

Logan spoke up behind her, "Max, he really can't even be left alone. How will you work, or anything? You can't take this burden on yourself."

She spun towards him, "Don't tell me what to do. He was there for me, he saved my life. I was horrible to him, and he still saved me. He was there for me, and I'm going to be here for him now. Besides..." She turned back towards him, her fingers moving over his cheek, "He has to know that I love him." She said softly.

Logan sighed lightly, "Max, he's not Alec anymore. He's not the man you used to know, and he won't be."

She closed her eyes, not wanting to listen. "Yes he is, he just has to find his way back." She turned back to Logan, "And I'm going to help him. His friends will help him."

"Friends?" He asked.

"Yeah. Friends. Joshua, Cindy. Maybe even with the right story, Sketchy and Normal. They care about him." She said, then turned back to the doctor. "Thanks for your help." She said, and then pulled Alec up into a sitting position, pulling him over her shoulder again, she moved to the door. "Logan, hurry up. You're driving us to Joshua's." She said as she walked out the door.


	4. Chapter 4

The ride to Joshua's was silent. Logan kept looking in the review mirror, watching Max hold onto Alec, hugging him to her like a safety blanket, but rocking him slightly at the same time like a small child. Max's mind was still spinning with everything that was happening. Her heart had soared when she had found him, but now it was breaking, breaking into pieces over and over again. Every time she looked into his eyes, it felt like a punch to the gut. 

How many times had she wanted to wipe that smug smile off his face, that cocky grin, that playful look, and now, now she would give anything to have it back. What she would do to hear him tease her, mock her, drive her nuts again. She was scared, completely and utterly scared. Sure, she had been afraid before. Fought enough bad guys, gotten caught by Manticore, and all kinds of things, but this... this scared her more than anything. She didn't realize before how much Alec was her strength. He sort of embodied it, the way he never seemed to let anything get to him. Oh, she knew things did, but he was, 'always alright.' But now... it was gone. If someone could take that away from him... she shivered at the thought, and held him a little tighter.

Her brain thought for a brief second that maybe he was just playing a horrible trick on her, and he would all of a sudden sit up and mock her for holding him, touching him, trying to get close to him. She knew it wasn't true, she knew he would also never do anything so cruel, but God how she wished it was true. How he would just start giggling next to her, and tell her, 'I can't believe you fell for that Maxie.' She sighed, *If only it was that simple.*

Max's thoughts were cut short as Logan's door opened, she hadn't even realized the vehicle had stopped. She opened the door, and got Alec out, and carried him up the steps, Logan opening the door. "Joshua?" She called out, as she laid him down on the couch. 

A few moments later, he appeared around the corner, and at seeing Alec, a happy smile came across his face, and then it turned to sadness, "What's wrong with Alec?"

Max sat down on the couch next to him, and looked up at Joshua, "He's sick, very sick." She said, not sure what, or how to tell him. "They... they were very mean to him."

Joshua nodded in understanding, as he walked over to Alec, and crouched next to the couch and Max. His hand came out, and petted Alec's head, "We'll take care of you Medium Fella." He said, concern evident in his eyes. 

"That's what I wanted to talk to you about Joshua." Max said looking at him. "Can you help me take care of him? I'll move in here. While I'm at work, maybe you can watch him."

Joshua smiled at her, "Another roommate, fine with Joshua. I can read to him while you deliver packages."

Max smiled, then looked up at Logan. "See, we'll be fine." She saw him about to say something and cut in, "Logan, I don't want to hear it. You can leave if you don't like it. I'll be over for my bike at some point, oh, and if it's still there, can you lock it up for me?" He nodded, and with a sigh, turned and left the house. She didn't even watch him leave, as she turned back to Alec and Joshua.

Joshua took her hand, "Don't worry Little Fella, Alec is strong. Hell fight this bitch. Get better."

She smiled weakly at him and nodded, hoping that he was right. Soon Joshua moved him into the bedroom that Alec had been staying in, and they shut his eye lids, hoping that it would trigger him to get some sleep. The only thing was, Max wasn't sure if he was awake or not anyway. She looked at him from the doorway, and almost jumped when Joshua placed a hand on her shoulder, giving her a slight hug, and she leaned back into it, needing the comfort. She was drained, physically and mostly emotionally. 

She yawned slightly, and he spoke behind her. "You need to pick out your room."

She turned and smiled slightly at him, "Where's the closet bedroom to here?" He pointed to the one right across the hall. She moved over to it, and opened the door. It was small, and dark, but there was a bed, dresser, and night stand. "This will do." She looked back at Joshua, and sighed, "I hate to do this, I hate to leave him, but..." She walked back over to his room again, and Joshua followed. "I need to get things from my apartment, tell Cindy about Alec, and me moving in here."

He nodded, "You go. Joshua stay here and take care of Alec."

She smiled at him, "Thanks Big Guy." She said, and gave him a hug, walked over to the bed, and leaned down, her hand moving over his cheek. "I'll be back soon." She said, and then left the house.  
_________________________________

She went back to her apartment, and found OC getting ready to go out. "Max? There you are. Where were you today? Normal was.." She stopped at the look on her face, "Boo, what's wrong?"

Max's face started to contort, and then she couldn't help it. Cindy barely made it to her in time, as her legs started to give out under her, and she wrapped her arms around her, and they made it both to the floor softly. Max's body shaking in sobs. Cindy held her, and rubbed her back, as the tears ran down her face, her body heaving as she finally gave into the events of the day. They stayed like like that for a long time, and only when Max's tears seemed to stop, did Cindy say anything. "What happened?" She said pulling away, and looking her in the eyes.

Her lip trembled as she tried to speak, "I found him." She said.

Cindy nodded, she knew instantly that she meant Alec. She hadn't stopped looking for him, or talking about him for the last month, and her heart sank, realizing it wasn't going to be good news. She just waited for Max to be able to get the words out.

"He's at Joshua's."

OC looked at her in shock, *He's alive.* She thought, and closed her eyes, *Thank God,* She was relieved, not just for herself or Alec, but mostly for Max. But the look on Max's face and her reaction told her it wasn't exactly good news.

"Oh God Cindy," she said, another tear slipping from her eye, "What they did to him." And then OC understood, as she continued, "He's so... so...," her whole body trembled and she slightly choked on a hiccup, "Empty." She said the first word that came to mind. "He's retreated completely..." She couldn't go on anymore, and her eyes lowered to the floor.

Cindy hugged her tightly again, trying to think of something to say, something to comfort her friend, but she couldn't, and Max went on, "It's my fault Cindy, it's all my fault."

OC pulled away from her, holding her by her shoulders, and made her look her in the eyes. "Don't say that! You didn't do this."

"He saved my life Cindy. White wanted me. ME! And they tortured him to get to me!"

"That may be so, but Alec choose to do this. White had him tortured, not you. And you saved him, you got him out."

Max shook her head, "Yeah, I got him out, but..." Her mind flashed to the image of him, laying on the ground outside of the building, staring up at nothing, so pale and thin. She remembered the look of all the marks on his skin. She remembered the x-rays and scans the doctor showed her. "I was too late." She said.

"He's at Joshua's?"

"Yeah" Max answered, "I'm moving in there, I came to get some stuff." 

Cindy just nodded understanding. "If you need any help, you got it." She said, and was rewarded with a small smile from Max. "Okay Boo, let's get our asses up off this floor. Get in that room of yours, and pack up your shit. So that we can get back over to Josh's and take care of 'your boy.'" Max nodded, and slowly they got to their feet, and walked into Max's room. Cindy didn't even say anything about Max not saying 'he wasn't her boy.'  
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A little over an hour later the two girls were walking through the door, they dropped the bags off in Max's new room, and she walked across the hall to his room, OC right behind her. She stopped in the doorway, and watched Joshua sitting in a chair, he had obviously brought into the room and put next to the bed. He was reading the book he had opened out loud, Alec's eyes staring up at the ceiling.

Max smiled, "I thought we were going to have him sleep." She said softly.

Joshua looked up, "Still day time, not time to sleep yet." He motioned at the book, "Alec needs to be awake to hear the story."

She smiled slightly and then it disappeared from her face, she wondered if he could actually hear Joshua reading to him or not. If he was also blocking that out, or if he even knew if he was blocking anything out anymore. She felt OC's hand on her back, and she moved into the room, and sat down on the bed next to Alec. Cindy came in and sat down on the other side, and looked at him. Her shoulders slumped slightly, and she shut her eyes, shaking her head. She looked up at Max, and reached out and took her hand, squeezing it. "We'll beat this thing Boo." Max gave her a small nod. Cindy looked back at Alec, and prayed that she was right. "So, what do you want me to tell Sketchy and Normal?"

Max sighed, she had no idea, "Well, we obviously can't tell them the truth. For the last month, we said that he just left town. How can we explain this? Should we? Maybe their better off not knowing."

Cindy looked at her, "I don't care about Normal. But Sketchy is going to sense that something just isn't right, I mean, he's already been curious by the way you have been acting this last month. Besides... Alec and him are friends."

"Do you think we should tell him the whole truth? I mean, transgenics and everything? Or, give him a story that he was beat up or something and I just found out about it, and he's been in a hospital, type story."

OC shook her head, "Hey, that's up to you Boo. But, if you want him to come over her, and see him," she looked over at Joshua, then back to Max, "You're going to have to tell him the truth."

Max rubbed her forehead, "I'll think about it." She said, and looked back over at Joshua. "Well, aren't you supposed to be reading?" She asked him.

Joshua smiled, and started to read again. Max moved herself up, and sat against the headboard, her hand moving to lightly run through Alec's hair, as he laid next to her. Cindy gave her a small smile, and moved up to the head board as well, curling her legs up onto the bed, placing her hand on his shoulder, and then started to listen to Joshua read the book. The four of them staying there until Joshua finished the last sentence of the book.

Cindy let out a yawn, and looked out the window, it was late. "Well, Boo, I've gotta go home. Are you going to work tomorrow?"

Max shook her head no, "Tell Normal and Sketchy that we found Alec, and that I needed to get him from the hospital. And that, that is where he has been, in a coma from getting beaten up or something." Cindy nodded. "Tell them, I'm bringing him back here, and I'll be back to work in a few days. Normal should be okay with that." OC nodded again. Max sighed, "We can tell Sketchy the truth later if we decide too." 

Cindy got up, gave Max and Joshua a hug. Turned to Alec, and patted him lightly on the shoulder. "Now listen Alec, Original Cindy is telling you to get better, or she's going to have to get after your ass." She said with a slight smile, and then she said her good-byes and left.

Max looked over at Joshua, "It's getting late."

"Yeah, Joshua is going to bed." He said, and then looked over at Alec.

"It's okay, Josh, I'll take care of him." She said, and he nodded and left for his room. Max curled up onto her side, her hand coming to rest on his chest, and then she moved it up over his face and eyes, then slowly lowered his eyes lids again. "Good Night," She said softly into his ear, leaned down and placed a soft kiss to his forehead. She moved slowly, and curled up next to him, her arm moving around him, her head resting against his shoulder, and she closed her eyes. And even though he didn't respond to her voice, her touch. Even though she was doubtful he knew that she was even there. Even though he was like this, even though the thought of it frightened her to no end. She still somehow felt safer, and stronger next to him. *We'll get through this.* She thought, *We will get through this.* And with that last thought she was asleep.


	5. Chapter 5

Max's head moved back and forth slightly, her head trying to shake the images from her head, that were playing in her dream. She struggled against the memories. The pictures of her brothers and sisters, other fellow transgenics, their smiling faces turning into the sight she last saw them, dead. She moved instinctively closer to the form next to her, seeking comfort, but it just brought on more images. Images of him, finding him, his eyes, those eyes she had realized only to late that she loved to look at. She struggled against the memory, and then her eyes flew open, willing herself to wake up from the nightmare. 

She looked up, to find Alec, his eyes closed as she had left them, her hand went to the side of his face, and her fingers trailed softly over the skin. How she wished he would just open his eyes, and look down at her, smiling. But she knew that it wasn't going to happen, at least not right then. Her hand moved up over his face, tracing a random pattern over his facial features, and her hand stopped immediately, her breathing stopped. The corners of his mouth had turned up slightly, his lips moving to form words.

She sat up quickly, "Alec?" she said, he heart soaring, "That's it, come on, wake up." She said softly, a smile coming to her face. His lips tried moving again, his mouth opening slightly. Tears started to run down her face, "That's it, come back to me." She told him, her hand moving back to the side of his face, cupping his cheek. And then she heard it, the most beautiful words she could have heard.

"Max."

She smiled wide, "Yes, it's me. I'm right here." She said, hugging him tightly. Tears running down her face.

"Max." She wept into his chest, so happy. "Max." She was shaking slightly. "Max!" She shot up straight, her eyes opening. "Max. Time to get up." She turned around to find Joshua standing over her, his hand moving from her shoulder. 

She shook her head lightly, and turned back to Alec, he was still laying there, his eyes closed. *It was a dream.* She thought, and her head dropped. She whipped the tears from her eyes, and looked back up at Joshua. He sat in the chair next to the bed, "What's wrong Little Fella?"

She sat up and rested her elbows on her knees and leaned into them, "Just a bad dream. Well, part of it. Part of it I wish would happen." She shook her head, trying to stop herself from dwelling on it, and resigning to the fact that she would probably have more just like them. That she better get used to it. She looked over at Joshua, "Why did you wake me up, I'm not going into work today." 

He stood up, and smiled, "Breakfast is ready." He said.

She nodded, "Okay. I'll be there in a minute." Joshua got up and left for the kitchen. Max sighed, and turned back to Alec. She ran her fingers up over his face, just like she had in the dream, and a tear ran down her cheek when his expression stayed the same at it was before, no reaction at all. Her hand then moved, over his eyes, lightly opening his eyelids, his eyes moving, back to stare at the ceiling. She sighed, and pulled away. 

Max quickly went into her room, changed, and then went to the kitchen to find Joshua. She smiled, looking at the pan on the stove, "I'm going to have to teach you how to make something besides Mac and Cheese."

"Joshua likes Mac and Cheese." He said, eating some out of the bowl.

"Yeah, but we all need more nutrition than what's out of that box." She said, and realized she would need to get some grocery shopping done at some point. Then a thought struck her, she would actually have to go that morning, because she wasn't going to be able to feed Alec what they were having. She thought about it while she scooped out her 'breakfast' and sat down at the table with Joshua to eat. She sighed, realizing, what she was going to have to do. 

"Joshua, I'm going to head to the market after I'm done here, will you.."

"Don't have to ask Max." He said, getting up and putting his bowl in the sink. He patted her on the shoulder, and left the room for Alec's. Max nodded, quickly finished, checked on Alec, and headed to the store, stopping to get her bike in the process.  
_________________________________

She was back a few hours later, and was putting away the stuff she had bought. First some regular food for her and Joshua, and then Alec's. She cringed running her finger across the labels, she wanted to hit something, kick something. *Baby food.* That's all she could find. The only thing nutritious enough, and in the form that he could be feed, in his current state. *A fucking solider has to have baby food.* She thought, she hated the idea of it, but what else was she supposed to do.

She put the jars into the cupboard, even though she wanted to throw them across the room. *How could they do this to him?* She asked, *How could they be so cruel? To reduce him too...* She shook her head. She hated looking through the baby isle, but what she really hated was the thought that went through her head, and what she had almost bought as well. But, she just couldn't bring herself to do. Adult diapers. She had almost bought them And then she had quickly walked away, resigning herself that she couldn't do that, she couldn't do that to him. 

Max knew it was going to be difficult to take care of him, the doctor had tried to explain that to her. At the time she didn't want to listen to him, all she had thought about was him getting better. She now realized how much work it was going to be. But did that mean she was giving up on him? Hell no, she didn't care, she didn't care what she had to do. But she had decided, that she was going to treat him with as much respect as she could. If he wakes up, *No, When.* When he wakes up, he was already going to have a hard time dealing with everything that they had to do for him, she wasn't going to make it worse on him. One thing Alec did have, was pride, and she wasn't about to take that away now.

She grabbed a couple of the jars and a can of the protein, milk drink and headed back to the bedrooms. She walked into his room, to find Joshua reading another book, "Hey, can we take an intermission break, for him to get some brunch?"

Joshua nodded, and stood up, "Need help?" he asked.

"Nope, I'm fine here. Maybe you can read to him later." He nodded again and left. Max turned back towards Alec, he was laying in the same position he had been in the whole time. "Well, you must be getting uncomfortable." She said, setting down the food on the night stand. "How about we sit you up, huh?" She asked, knowing she wouldn't get an answer.

As she moved his body up, and onto some pillows to help support him, she thought about how many times she had told him to shut up, to stop talking, to leave her alone. And she cringed, she wished she could take it all back. "Okay, what first? Ummm.... apple sauce or carrots?" She looked at the jars, "Carrots right?" She said, having the conversation with herself. 

After a lot of effort, she finally figured out how to get him to eat, but not without a lot of mess. She went to the kitchen, getting a wet towel, and brought it back to the room. She tried whipping his face, but found that some of it had fallen on his shirt, and neck, some had managed to get onto his arms even. Then the thought went through her head, he was going to have to be bathed at some point. She thought about asking Joshua to do it. But then thought about it.

*Who would he be more comfortable with?* A slight smile played on her lips, she knew that the answer wasn't Joshua. "Okay, I guess I get to give you that bath." She said. She stood up, "Now stay here." She said to him, not sure why exactly, as she walked out of the room and into the bathroom. She plugged up the old deep tub, and turned on the water, happy that it came out warm, and was turning hotter. She went to her room, and took out the towels she brought with her, and then went back to the bathroom, setting them on the sink. Max grabbed the soap and shampoo and set them next to the tub, and then turned off the water. 

She walked back into his bedroom, straightened her shoulders, and took a deep breath. For some reason, all of a sudden she was nervous, and almost went to get Joshua, but stopped herself. What the heck was she nervous about? She was just going to clean him up. *No, you are going to be taking his clothes off, seeing him naked, and washing his body.* She shook her head, partially disgusted with herself for having such thoughts when he was like this. She shouldn't think that way, if she did, it was almost like she was taking advantage of the situation.

She mentally yelled at herself, that she was being ridiculous. Telling herself, that if he was himself, he would be loving every second of it. He would be enjoying himself, and teasing her. "Okay, handsome." She said to him, trying to sound light and teasing, picking him up off the bed, and moving him into the bathroom, sitting him down on the closed lid of the toilet. She tried not to look into his eyes, knowing it would just remind her, that the conversation she was having with him, was truly just one sided. 

"How about we get that shirt off you." She said, and pulled it up and over his head. She looked at the skin, her mind trying not to see the light marks that still ran over his chest and and arms. They were fading, but still slightly visible to her enhanced sight. She then knelt down, and took off his socks. Then she stopped, and took a deep breath. She stood him up, wrapped one arm around his waist, unbuttoned and unzipped his pants. Her eyes widened slightly, realizing they hadn't bothered to put underwear on him. She swallowed, then yelled at herself again. *Max, remember what you are doing.* 

She held onto his waist tighter with her one arm, as she felt him starting to tip sideways. Her other hand, then brought down his pants to his knees, her eyes closing. She moved her foot to them, pulled them down to his feet, and then pulled him out of them, her eyes still closed, her arm still around his waist. She stood up, and opened her eyes, now focused on his chest. And before she could stop herself she was looking at him. 

Max's eyes wondered over him, her eyes trailing over his chest, hips, legs, and... she swallowed hard. *Oh my.* She thought, and then closed her eyes, a mixture of desire and yet shame running though her. *Stop.* She told herself, and moved him over to the tub, and tried to get him in as quickly as possible. Finally, she got him sitting in the tub, but found herself drenched in the process. She stood, and looked down at herself. She walked over to the door, and locked it, not wanting Joshua to just walk in. She moved back over to the tub, and removed her shirt, and pants. Leaving herself in her underwear. She sat next to the tub, grabbed for the wash cloth and soap, and started to lather it up. 

She looked up into his face, saw his eyes staring straight ahead, and another tear went down her face. "It's going to be okay." She said, "Sometime soon, you'll be doing this for yourself again." She said, as she started to rub the soapy cloth over his chest and neck, getting rid of the little bit of breakfast that had fallen there. But has her hands started to travel over him more, her thoughts started changing again. Her eyes getting mesmerized by the droplets of water and bubbles of soap that moved over his chest. The feel of his muscles under the towel and her fingertips. 

She shook her head, trying to free herself from the images that were popping into her head. She got up, and moved to sit behind the head of the tub, and she poured some water over his head, her hand moving to shield his eyes. She squeezed some shampoo into her hands, and started to massage it into his wet hair. Her fingers moving through the soapy strands, gently. Then, bringing more water back up, to rinse it out. 

Max picked the cloth back up again, and moved to sit on the side of the tub. She lightly moved it over his face, and down his neck, moving it gently, then back over his chest, and under water to his stomach and abs, and then she paused. Her mind stopping, and then a thought occurred to her. She smiled, and pulled him away from the back of the tub, stood, and moved into the tub behind him, her bra and panties still on. She then leaned him back against her front, and moved her legs to either side of him. Her arms wrapping around him, her head resting over his one shoulder. 

Maybe, just maybe she could get a response from him, her mind told her. Any response, any physical response to any form of stimuli would be an improvement, would be a good sign. She smiled slightly, *And knowing Alec, there is one sure fire way to get a response from him.* She thought, as she let go of the towel in the water, and her hands moved over his skin instead, her lips trailing slightly over the skin at his shoulder. 

She pulled him to her, her hands moving lower, running over his legs. Her fingers coming back up, lightly tickling the skin of his inner thighs, moving up for his hips. She was teasing him, pressing her body against the back of him, her hands moving slowly closer to their destination, her mouth working at the skin of his neck. Part of her doing it, to get a reaction from him, part of her doing it because she couldn't help herself. Couldn't help that she was reacting to him, that desire for him was moving though her body. 

Max slowly moved her hand down his front again, this time, not taking a detour from it's destination, hoping to find the reaction she was hoping for, when she got to her goal. Her body tingled at the thought of her hand coming into contact with him, about how his hard erection would feel wrapped in her small hand, but that hope was quickly dashed, as her fingers found him. Her hand wrapped around his soft penis, and she closed her eyes. She moved her hand around him, her fingers grasping him, trying to get a response. She hid her face at the back of his neck, as she continued, her other hand moving over his chest. "Please." She said softly, her fingers, her hand becoming more desperate. Now not out of desire, not out of want, but worry and pain. 

After a few minutes, she stopped, her heart sinking completely, more tears welling up in her eyes, her hopes completely dashed. Her arms moved to wrap around him, hugging him to her, sobs starting to form, as she realized, just how far gone he really was.


	6. Chapter 6

"Max, now!"

"Just hold on a second." She said.

"I knew I had to come over here, and get you or you would never leave. Normal was okay with you going to pick up Alec, but you need to get back to work, and he's not going to be happy with you being late. And me for that matter." Cindy said, as she leaned against the door frame of the living room. Max moved another pillow behind Alec, and picked his legs up, setting his feet up on the coffee table. "What are you doing, Boo?"

"What?" Max said looking up, and turning the tv stations with the remote. Finding the cartoon station, she sat it back on the table. OC looked at her like she was nuts. "He loves TV."

"But he's not really watching it."

"You don't know that!" She said, her voice a little too loud.

OC walked over to her, and turned her by her shoulders to look at him. "Max, don't do this."

"Don't do what?" She asked.

"You're trying to make everything as normal as possible. It's not normal, it never was."

Max shook her head, "I know that. I'm just trying to do things that he used to do. Get him in familiar, comfortable situations. You, know? Make him feel safe, make him want to come back." She sighed closing her eyes.

Cindy gave her a hug, "I know, I know." She let her go, "So, speaking of Normal... we have to get to work!"

"Okay, okay." Max said, and went over to Joshua, who was painting, this time a picture of Alec. She smiled, "I'll be back later." He nodded, and she went over to Alec. "Okay, now have fun watching those cartoons." She said, kissed the side of his cheek, and then left the house with Cindy.

They got on their bikes, and started to ride to work. Cindy saw that Max was trying to decide whether or not to turn around. "He'll be okay, Max." She nodded. "Okay, have you decided what you are going to tell Sketchy?"

Max nodded again, "Yeah, I think after work, we should bring him back to the house and tell him. It would be good for both him, and Alec." OC nodded. "I think Sketchy can be trusted."

Cindy agreed, "Yeah, and it means that we could all hang out at the house together."

Max smiled as they pulled up at Jam Pony, the more people Alec knew around him, the better. "Well, Missy Miss, is back. How is Alec?" Normal asked, coming around the corner. Her smile faded, and her head tilted down. She was surprised when Normal put a hand on her shoulder, and she looked up to find concern in his eyes. "He'll get better, Max. He's a fighter, that one!" He said with a half smile, and then moved away to get more packages.

She stood their in slight shock for a minute, and then moved over to her locker and Cindy. "What did you tell him?"

Cindy smiled, "I told him, the story. You know, some people who lost some money on one of his old fights, decided to gang up on him, and put him into a coma." Max nodded, got her stuff from her locker, and then headed out to deliver packages.

The day went by slowly, too slowly. She had to stop herself from heading back to check on him during her lunch break. But she knew if she did, she wouldn't go back for the rest of her shift. Finally, the day was over, and she was putting her stuff away in her locker, when Cindy walked up with Sketchy next to her. She sighed slightly, trying to decided if she was really ready for this. "Max? Cindy said you wanted to talk to me?"

She turned to him with a small smile, "Yeah, Sketchy. Ummm.... it's about Alec."

A grim look went over his face, "Yeah, OC told me. Is there anything I can do?"

Max looked at Cindy, then back at him. "Well, there's more to it. Ummm, listen. It's going to take some time to explain, are you busy?"

"No, why?"

Cindy turned to him, "We need to go somewhere and talk." He nodded, and they headed out of Jam Pony, and rode back to the house. They brought the bikes up onto the porch and locked them.

"Uhh, wait here for a minute." Max said, as she went in the door. "Joshua?" She called out.

"In here." She walked into the living room. Alec was now leaning against the end of the couch, his feet up on it, his legs covered with a blanket. The TV was turned off. "Sorry, TV got too annoying."

She smiled. "It's okay, Big Fella. But I need a favor. Do you think you could go upstairs or to the basement for a little while. I have a friend here, and I need to explain a few things, before he sees you."

Joshua nodded, "I understand. Just holler for me." He said as he went to the basement, "I'll clean up the art supplies." He said, walking down the stairs.

Max sat down on the side of the couch, her hand reached out, and ran her fingers though Alec's hair, straightening it slightly, and then let them glide down over his face. She let out a sigh, and then turned towards the door. "Okay, guys!" She yelled, and heard the door open, and two pairs of footsteps make their way to the living room. She saw the shocked look on Sketchy's face as he looked at Alec, and then tried to hide it. She took a deep breath, "You may want to sit down." She told him, and he sat in the chair across from her, and OC sat on the arm. She looked up at Cindy, "Where do I even begin?"

"At the beginning, Boo. Always the best place to start."

Max nodded, "Okay, Sketchy, here it goes... It all started in 2009, well, actually, before then, but that's the year that I escaped from Manticore." His eyes grew wide, and she knew that it was going to be a long explanation. She told him about Manticore, about the X5's, how they were trained, how she escaped, how she had run with her 'siblings.' How she had tried to make a normal life for herself, how Manticore was trying to find them. How she had been recaptured the summer before.

She looked at him, watching him take in all the news. He didn't say anything, and she continued. "And when they recaptured me, and took be to the base outside of Seattle, that's were I met... Alec." His eyes widened again, realizing what she was saying. "Alec, is an X5 as well. But he never escaped, he was raised there. Until, Eyes Only reviled the location of the base, and the government tried to cover it up, by burning down the compound, trying to kill everyone inside. But... I let them all out. I let all the transgenics out into Seattle." She said, waiting for his reaction, waiting for him to get angry with her.

"They were going to kill all the transgenics?" Sketchy asked. "All of them? Even the human ones?" Max nodded. Sketchy just shook his head, not knowing what to make of everything.

Max decided to just keep going. "Well, as you know with the news and everything. A little over a month ago, the government caught a bunch of what they call X7's, kids. They were going to kill them as well, and Alec and I went to save them." She could tell that he was in awh of this, the idea that his two friends, were on a save and rescue mission. "Well, we got the kids out, but before we could escape, I was shot, and we were surrounded, there was no way we could both escape." She said, and a tear slipped down her cheek. Cindy came over, and rubbed her back slightly, trying to comfort her. "He knew that. And.. and... he..." She didn't know if she could continued.

"It's okay Boo."

She swallowed, closed her eyes, and willed herself to go on. "He literally picked me up and threw me over the fence, told me to run and not look back.... and I did." More tears flowed down her face. "I heard a single gun shot as I ran. I didn't know, I didn't know what happened." She said. "We told you, that he left town." She rolled her eyes, "If only that had been the case." Sketchy brought his hand up to his mouth, and leaned his elbow on his knee. Trying to understand everything. "Ever since, I tried to figure out what happened. Then a few days ago, I got a tip about a small outpost, I went to check it out, and I found him there, locked in a small room.... like this." She said pointing to him.

"I broke him out, and got him to a doctor." She closed her eyes, and tilted her face down. "They tortured him for a month, trying to get information on my location. And he didn't tell them, or I'd be dead already." She said, then looked back up into Sketchy's big eyes, "And you don't want to know what they did to him, I don't know all of it, and what I do, I wish I didn't." She said. "Sketchy, I know we've kept you in the dark. I'm sorry. But if you want to be mad at someone, be mad at me. Please. Don't blame Alec, blame me. But he needs his friends right now, and I know he considers you one of them."

"Max..." He started, and then stood up, running a hand though his hair, looked at her, then at Alec. "This is a lot to..." He stopped again. He looked back at Alec again, and sighed. "What the hell did they do to him?" Max closed her eyes and shook her head. Skectchy came over and put a hand on her shoulder, "I have a lot to think about." She looked up and nodded at him. "But there is one thing I know. You and Alec are my friends, transgenics or not." She smiled up at him, and then leapt to her feet, and hugged him tightly, catching him off guard. Sketchy looked over at OC, and she smiled at him, he wrapped his arms around Max returning the hug. "Well, at least now I know how he kept winning all those pool games." 

That made Max laugh, *Good ol' Sketchy.* She thought. She pulled away, and looked at him. "So, ummm, do you think it's possible to maybe.. come over every now and then, talk to him..."

"Are you kidding? I'll be here."

She smiled, "Good." Then she looked at OC, "But, that means I need to tell you, ummm, one more little thing." Sketchy looked at her, a little bit of fear on his face, not sure if he wanted to know more or not. "If you are going to be coming over here, you are going to be seeing someone else that lives with us as well. He's another transgenic." He nodded okay. "But, ummm, he's not like me and Alec." She thought it would be better to just show him, "Joshua?" She called out, and heard him moving up the stairs.

"Yeah, Max?" He said coming into the room, Sketchy took a step back looking up at him.

"Joshua, this is Sketchy. Sketchy, meet Joshua." She watched his face, and the look of shock.

Joshua extended his hand, "Nice to meet you."

Sketchy, slowly reached out and took it carefully, "Uhhh, likewise." 

Joshua smiled at him, and patted him on the shoulder. "Friend of Max and Alec, friend of Joshua's." 

Max smiled at him, and then at Sketchy. "Hey Joshua, you can start painting again if you want."

"No, I'm going to make dinner. Everyone hungry?"

"I could eat." Cindy said standing up, "Want some help, Josh?" He nodded and they went into the kitchen. 

"No, Mac and Cheese!" Max hollered after them, and then turned back to Sketchy. He looked like he was still in a daze. "I know it's going to take some getting used to."

Sketchy looked at Max and then Alec still laying there on the couch, starring at some spot on the wall, then he turned back to her. "I'll get used to it." He said, then walked into the kitchen to help with dinner.

Max smiled and sat back down on the couch, next to Alec. She leaned in, and laid her head against his shoulder, her one arm moving around him, and spoke softly to him. "Do you realize how many people care about you? Do you realize how many people want you to come back to them?" She reached up, and moved some hair from his face. "Do you know how many people need you? Love you?" She kissed his cheek lightly, and closed her eyes, hugging him to her.


	7. Chapter 7

"Well, we have some good news." Dr. Carr said looking at the screen, from the latest tests that he did.

Max smiled, "Well, that's good. What is it?" She asked, as she walked over to him, to take a look at what he was. She needed to hear some good news, it had been a week since she had found him, and there had been no change at all. 

"For one, his skin and nerve endings have completely healed. Now I know you can still see little marks on him, which are fading, but I'm talking about the tissue itself. His sense of touch, should be completely back to normal, well... physically." Max nodded, already understanding what he meant. It's if he wanted to feel anything, that was the question now, not if he could.

"And two?" She asked hopeful, that there was something else.

The doctor moved over to the computer, and Max followed. It showed the current brain scans that he performed. "See this?" He said motioning to the colors and changes in the images. She nodded, "Brain activity, he's mentally active." A smile lit up Max's face. "He's doing something in that brain of his. What? I have no idea. But at least there is activity. If there wasn't..." He trailed off, knowing he didn't need to go on.

"So basically, he's in there somewhere, trying to get out."

Carr looked at her, "Maybe, maybe not. Max, I don't want to get your hopes up. The activity could mean a lot of things. He might not be trying to 'get out,' he might be trying to hide even more. All I'm saying is that, he's not... empty. He's not brain dead."

She nodded in understanding, "Well, it's still good news." He smiled slightly, and nodded, and walked back over to Alec on the exam table. "Anything else?" She asked him.

He nodded, "Yeah. I can tell that you have been doing well, with moving him around, not keeping him in one position for a long time. Which is good, he needs movement. But he also needs more. Even for an X5, his muscles will deteriorate without exercise. Here, let me show you a few that you can do, to keep his muscles working." He said, as he went to the end of the table, and picked up one of Alec's legs, and started to move it towards his chest. Max watched, and paid attention as Carr went on and on, showing her what to do.  
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Cindy sighed loudly, and looked over at Joshua, pleading for some help. He shook his head at her, and put his hands in the air. Signifying he didn't know what to do, and left the room for the basement. OC sighed again, as she watched Max move Alec's arm around in circles. "Girl, stop already."

"Cindy, leave me alone! I'm doing what the doctor said, he needs to keep his muscles going."

"Yeah, I know, but you don't have to work him, or yourself to death."

Max turned to Cindy, "What? What are you talking about."

OC stood and walked over to her, took Alec's arm from her, and placed it back down next to him on the couch. "You can't do everything, all the time Max. You are wearing yourself out. It's been almost two weeks now. And all you have been doing is work, and here. Taking care of this house and Alec. You need to take care of yourself too, Boo."

She sighed, "Fine, I'll take a nice bubble bath tonight, okay?"

OC shook her head, "No, you are going out tonight, like old times. You need to get away for a little bit, and work doesn't count as away from here."

"Cindy, I can't leave! I'm not here all day, it's not fair to Joshua to watch him all the time. And... and.." She looked over at Alec, she didn't want to leave him.

OC turned, and put her hands on Max's shoulders, turning her to face her. "Look Sugar, I know you love him. I understand that. But don't do this to yourself again."

"Again?"

"You spent like a year depressed because you couldn't be with Logan because of the Virus. And now... now you are doing it again, only now, you are clinging to something so desperately that you can't see straight."

Max looked at her, like she was crazy. "What are you saying?"

"Max, you have this idea in your head, that somehow he's going to wake up, and everything is going to be perfect. That he'll open his eyes, and he'll say that he loves you, and you'll live happily ever after or something." Cindy sighed, "I just want you to realize, that, that might not happen."

"He's going to come back Cindy! He will! Don't say he won't!" She yelled and pulled away from her.

Cindy took a deep breath. "Max, you don't know that. But that's not what I meant either."

Max turned back around, "Then what? What did you mean Cindy?" She asked, anger in her voice.

"Max, how do you even know that he loves you? Sure, the boy saved your life. He's always been there for you, but that could mean a lot of things. Yeah, I know, how he would sometimes look at you. But Lust isn't Love Max. And friendship or loyalty isn't love either."

She didn't want to hear it, she didn't want to think about it, but in a way she knew OC was right. She didn't know how Alec felt about her. He had saved her life, and went through this torture to make sure White didn't catch her. But, why did he do it? And she realized, that he probably would have done the same thing for Joshua, Cindy, or even Sketchy. She mentally berated herself, not until he had been taken away from her, did she realize who he really was. "I just love him, Cindy. I don't know what else to do." She sighed and sat down in the chair. "I want him back." She said, thinking. "Yeah, I would like the happy ending, who wouldn't. But do you know what I would give, just to have things back to the way they were before? Just to be able to argue with him?"

"I know, Boo. I know." She said, coming over to sit on the arm of the chair, and wrapped her arm around Max.

"Cindy, if he wakes up, and tells me that he doesn't love me... It would break my heart. But you know what?" She looked up at OC, "I'd still be so happy, because at least he would be alright."

OC hugged her, "Yeah." She sighed slightly, then pulled away. "How about going out to Crash? Just for a few hours?"

"Tomorrow, I promise." Max said. "I'm really tired." Cindy gave her a look. "No, OC, really, I am exhausted. After you were going to leave, I was going to put him to bed, and then get to sleep myself."

"Max, you barely sleep."

She smiled, "Yeah, I know. But, you're right." She sighed, hating to admit it. "I have been wearing myself out." 

Then she smiled, and Cindy caught it. "What's that smile for?"

"Nothing." Max said, standing up, and moving back over to Alec. "Let's get you ready for bed." She said to him, and lifted him up off the couch, and started to pull him back into the bedroom, Cindy came up, and took one side, helping her. They laid him down on the bed, and then Cindy caught Max's hand.

"Oh, no, don't change the subject."

Max sighed, "Okay, okay." She said and sighed. "I haven't slept in my room since I moved in." She said, and turned away from Cindy, moving over to the dresser, getting out one of Alec's T-shirts, and long pajama bottoms. 

OC smiled at her, "You've been sleeping in here, cuddling up to your boy at night."

Max blushed slightly, "Does it seem like I'm taking advantage of the situation, of him?" She then asked seriously.

"No, Boo, besides you know Alec. He'd be teasing your ass." Max smiled, and put the clothes on the bed. "Okay, I'll let the two of you get to bed." She said with a wink. "But, remember, you promised. Tomorrow night."

"I'll be there." Max said, and with a hug, Cindy left. Max let out a breath, and slumped her shoulders slightly walking into her room to get her change of clothes. She quickly changed into one of her tank tops, and and old pair of boxers and then headed back to his room. She moved to the side of the bed. Her mind thinking of what Cindy had said. She hated to admit that she might be right. But did it matter? Would she care about him any less if she knew he didn't love her like she now knew she loved him? No, it wouldn't. His feelings for her, wouldn't change how she felt. How much she wanted him back. 

Her hand came to the side of his face, "Just try and come back to me, to us." She said softly. She pulled him up into a sitting position, and pulled his blue shirt up and over his head, and then realized she had left the other stuff at the foot of the bed. She sighed, and tried to reach for it. Her fingers just barely touched, as her other arm kept him sitting up. She struggled for it, and tumbled onto the bed losing her grip on him, cussing slightly, as her hand picked up the clothes. She turned back to him, and she stopped. Her mouth falling open slightly, and she dropped the clothes on the bed.

Alec hadn't moved. He had stayed where she had sat him up, where she had lost her grip on him, and he hadn't moved, he didn't fall back to the bed. He sat there, he was actually sitting there. Max's heart started beating faster, and she finally breathed. "Alec?" She asked, his eyes didn't move, nothing changed, as he sat there. She moved closer to him, her hands moving to his shoulders, looking to see if he was somehow propped up on something.

Her mouth turned into a huge smile, she knew that to most people this was nothing, but to her it was huge. It was something. She pulled herself up and over him, and settled herself over his lap, and put her arms around him, hugging him, burring her face at his neck. She picked up each of his arms, and moved them around behind her, and when they didn't fall back to his sides, she cried, pulling his body closer to her. She knew it wasn't real, but it was the closest thing she had to a hug from him since this had all started.

She smiled through the happy tears into his neck, and then pulled away from him, her hands going to the side of his face, moving it so that his eyes were looking into hers, "I know you are in there, I know you are trying to get out, and I know you will." She said to him, "And I'll be here, be here waiting." She then leaned in, and gave him a soft kiss, then pulled away slightly. She lowered him back to the bed, reached over, and turned off the lamp. Moved her body back next to him, laid her head on his shoulder, pulled his arm around her. Her hand moved up to close his eyes, and then moved it down to rest on his chest, before she feel asleep with a small smile on her face, finally.


	8. Chapter 8

"Well, look at that, my Boo has a smile on her face." Cindy said leaning against her locker, as Max walked up to hers. Sketchy smiled at OC, and then Max as he sat down on the bench. "So, what's got you in a good mood?"

She opened her locker, and then turned to him, "He... stayed sitting up." She said simply.

Sketchy gave her a strange look, "Huh?"

"I had him sitting up to change his shirt, and well... while I was trying to get the other shirt, and lost my grip on him, he didn't move."

"So?" Cindy said, not understanding.

Max looked back and forth between the two, "He didn't fall back on the bed! He stayed upright! On his own, by himself!" She sighed, "Whatever! I know it doesn't sound like much, but, it's progress, it's something!"

Cindy smiled, and patted her shoulder, "You're right, it is something. That's great Max."

Sketchy stood up, "Yeah, it is good. Small steps, right? Better than none." Max smiled and nodded. "So, Cindy tells me you are going to Crash tonight."

She nodded, "Yeah, I promised. But, I'm not staying all night." She saw the look on Cindy's face, "Hey, it's been awhile, I need to get back into it slowly." She said, but really she just didn't want to stay out long. She was hoping to get back home, and hopefully find some more progress.

"Okay," Sketchy said, "How about we all hang out at your house before we go out tonight?"

"Sounds like a plan," Max said closing her locker, and the three went about their work.  
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Max got up from the couch and walked over to Joshua, "So whatcha painting now?" She asked as she made her way over to him, and then looked over his shoulder. She smiled slightly at what she saw.

He turned to her, "You like?" He asked.

She nodded, looking at the painting, it was of the three of them. "It's great Joshua." She said but her grin slowly faded as she looked at the Alec on the canvas, it had his old smile, and the sparkle that he used to have to his eyes. *Soon.* She thought, *Soon, it will be real again.* She looked back over at the couch, he was sitting there, and if someone who didn't know better came in the room, they would think that he was just watching TV. But he wasn't, and she sighed slightly.

Max hated the weekends, she almost wished she could go to work. The thought made her feel bad, she didn't want to leave him. She always hated doing that, but she didn't know what else to do. She could only try so many things, and wait for him to decide to break out of his shell. But, in the mean time, she was going insane. She had too much time on her hands. She went shopping, she cleaned the house, she washed the clothes, she was sick of the garbage that was on TV. She was, well bored.

She had went to Crash, a few times that week, and it was a nice breath of fresh air, but she didn't enjoy herself. The whole time, she felt like she shouldn't be there, that she should be back at the house, taking care of him. She tried to make herself realize just how wrong that was, that he was fine, that Joshua was there, that she needed to take care of herself too. But, that nagging piece of guilt just wouldn't leave her.

She patted Joshua on the shoulder, and went back over towards the couch, and sat down on the coffee table in front of Alec. She moved her face into his line of sight, and sighed slightly. "So, what should we do today?" She asked him, knowing that there would be no response, but asking anyway, somewhere deep down hopefully that someday he would answer her.

She thought about it, took the remote and clicked off the TV over her shoulder. She sat there thinking, what could he do? And what would he usually do? Two and half weeks had passed now, but at least small steps had been happening. It started with him sitting on his own, his arms staying where she put them, and that had been a start. Over the last few days, it had been gradual, but when she pulled him to his feet, he would remain standing, well, sort of. She had to keep a hand out to steady him, or lean him against a wall, but he stayed up.

Max had called Dr. Carr about the news, and he was happy. He had told her, that his body was reacting to the stimulus, and that it probably knew that it was better to stay in the position than to fall back over. She didn't like the way he answered the question, mostly because it didn't make the news as good as she was hoping. But she also knew, that he didn't want to get her hopes to high, only to have them later come crashing down.

"Okay, what would you like to do?" She asked again, still thinking. She tried to think about all the stuff she knew about him. Pool was obviously out of the question. One, there was no way of getting him to Crash, they didn't have a pool table at the house, and the obvious fact that he couldn't actually play. In that instant, she was aware just how little she really knew about him, and it troubled her. She never really took the time to get to know him, know what he liked or disliked. She had written him off as a cocky, womanizing, jerk who only looked out for himself. *God, I was wrong.* She thought, especially about the last part.

But then, a thought hit her, and she smiled, the other thoughts leaving her head, as her idea started to spin in her head. She stood up, and pulled him to his feet, turning him slightly, wrapped his arms around her neck, and then picked him up, basically giving him a piggy back ride. She smiled as she walked out of the room. "Where are Max and Alec going?" Joshua asked as she walked.

"Basement." She said, as she started to walk down the stairs. It wasn't easy, but once she got down there and moved over to the bench and sat him down, so happy that he could sit there by himself. She straightened out her back, and then moved the sheet away from the piano. She opened a piece of sheet music, and looked at it. She quickly scanned the music, remembering the notes, and tried to remember how they corresponded to the keys on the piano. She made a mental note to pick up a book on how to play, but decided they could at least try.

Max moved around behind him, and put her arms around him, her hands resting over his, and picked them up, lightly placing them on the keys. She placed her chin over his shoulder, and moved his fingers slowly over the piano. The notes slowly playing. She laughed, because she was just slowly having him play 'chop sticks,' "Far from what you are used to playing, huh?" She asked into his ear, her mind remembering the sounds that she had heard coming from the basement when he had went down there during Joshua's dinner party, during the whole Berrisford incident.

She should have known then, that there was so much more to him than she gave him credit for. She had miss judged him, and was angry with him at the time, that she didn't realize how beautiful the music was that he had been playing, or how much emotion he had put into it. Her heart slightly broke knowing that, that emotion came from the love that he had for another woman, but she couldn't let the ghosts of the past affect her. She needed to use what she could to get him back to the here and now, so that he wouldn't become one of those ghosts.

Max continued to move his fingers over the keys, the notes coming out a little faster as she got used to moving his hands with hers. She smiled slightly, thinking that maybe, someday soon, he would play something for her.  
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Cindy and Max sat on the couch, listening to some music, Alec sitting between them as usual. Joshua had headed to bed a little while ago, and Sketchy had left to head out to Crash and try and pick up some girls. Max and OC had laughed and told him good luck, knowing he would need it.

Max turned and moved her feet up onto Alec's lap, and Cindy gave her a look. "What?"

"Is he your foot rest now?" 

She grinned, "No, it's just comfortable."

Cindy smiled, "No, you just can't keep yourself from touching him."

Max sighed, "Yeah, and that's going to be an even bigger problem soon." OC looked at her strangely. Max sighed, and looked over at Alec, she could wasn't sure what she was going to do. Actually, she was torn between leaving and staying. Both had options. If she left, she wouldn't be around him, she wouldn't be tempted and frustrated, she wouldn't take advantage of him. But then again, if she stayed, she would be focused on him, and they couldn't do anything anyway.... She sighed, "I don't know what I'm going to do." 

Cindy was confused, "Boo? What the hell are you talking about?"

"In a few days... well... I'm going to go into heat." She said, then looked down into her glass, not wanting to look at Cindy, who's eyes were getting bigger as understanding dawned on her.


	9. Chapter 9

"You're what?" Cindy asked, staring at Max. "Oh, God." She said shaking her head, "What are you going to do?"

"That's just it OC, I don't know what to do." She sighed, "I'm afraid to stay here. Seeing him, will be pure torture. But, I'm afraid to leave. What if I do something I regret?" She asked, "I mean, we aren't a couple or anything, but I love him. Even though I wouldn't be betraying him by being with someone else, I would be betraying myself." She took a drink out of her glass, "It was bad enough when I slept with Rafer, and I had feelings for Logan. This... this would be so much worse." She put her face in her hands. 

"Isn't there a way, that you can stay here, and just not be around him?" Cindy asked. "I know that it would take a lot of effort, but it would be better to stay than leave wouldn't it?"

Max nodded, "I guess, but..." She looked at Alec sitting there between them, "Cindy, how am I not going to be able to see him and be in the same house as him?"

Cindy smiled, knowing how bad Max had it for the boy sitting next to her, but she also knew what a bitch it was for Max to go through heat. "Girl, you'll just have to deal with it. One thing, is at least here, you can't do anything you'll regret."

Max took a deep breath, "Yeah, I guess you're right." She looked up at Cindy, "Just make sure to come over and check on my ass."

OC smiled, "I got ya ass covered, sugar." The girls smiled at each other and clinked glasses.  
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Max came back from work, and started looking around the house. She found Joshua in the kitchen, and he had Alec sitting in one of the chairs, while Joshua ate something. She smiled, she didn't know if it was good idea that they kept posing Alec into normal situations, but it at least felt right. "Hey Big Fella," she said, and sat down in a chair next to him. She ran a hand over her forehead and sighed feeling the temperature of her skin. "I need to talk to you."

Joshua looked up, "What is it?" He asked concerned.

She smiled at him, trying to tell him it wasn't anything to worry about. "How much do you know about X5's?" She asked him, hoping that he would just know and she wouldn't have to explain this whole embarrassing situation to him. Joshua looked at her confused slightly. "I mean, well... you know we have.. feline DNA in our cocktail, right?" He nodded. "Do, you know the side effects that, that causes?" She asked.

Joshua scanned her face, and then a smile came across his face, which confused her. "Max trying to explain Heat to Joshua." He said and laughed slightly. She looked at him shocked. "Joshua knows about it, Little Fella already in Heat." 

Her eyes got bigger, while her face flushed slightly in embarrassment, "How.. how did you know that!" 

"Can smell it." He said pointing to his nose, "Good sense of smell. But doesn't affect Joshua, because of canine DNA. Canine and Feline, don't mix." He said patting her shoulder. 

She laughed slightly, "Right. Well, ummm, Josh, that's why I need your help. See... I can't be around him." She said looking at Alec, and then quickly turned away, closing her eyes, as a tingle already started to go through her at the simple look. 

Joshua nodded in understanding, "Max wants to 'get busy' with Alec, but Alec can't."

Max almost choked, and then grinned, *This is the hilarity of my life.* She thought. "Something like that." She said. "So, I'm going to need you to take care of him, and well... make sure that I don't leave the house." He nodded, patted her shoulder, and got up to put his plate in the sink. She looked back over at Alec, and sighed. *Oh, God, this is going to be hell.* She thought, and quickly left the room, finding solace in her bedroom.  
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His eyes were staring down into hers as their hips moved in a fast, rhythmic pattern, their breathing becoming faster, their bodies sweating, grinding against one another. Her fingernails running down his back, his arms gripping her shoulders, her legs wrapped around his waist trying to pull him deeper, harder into her body. Then she screamed, and sat up bolt right in bed, her body sweating, heart beating hard, her breath coming in deep pants. *Oh God.* She thought, *It's started.* She thought as she tried to shake the mental image of Alec on top of her out of her mind.

Every fiber of her being was telling her to walk across the hall to him, but she knew she couldn't. Besides, it would only frustrate her more. She stood up on slightly shaky legs, and made her way for the bathroom. She turned the water in the tub onto cold, and got in, waiting for the cold water to cover her overly heated body. But even the cold water was not helping the thoughts and images from her dream to keep moving back into her head. The thought of his hands on her body, brought her own hands to herself. *God, what am I going to do?* She thought, as she let her own hands travel down her breasts, the cold water starting to move over her breasts, teasing her already hard nipples. She closed her eyes, as her other hand moved lower, her mind visualizing Alec's hands doing the same thing, her mouth moaning his name when he found his destination. Her body quivered at her own touch, as a tear slipped down her check.  
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Her arms ached, her stomach muscles were sore, and her legs felt like jello. "Okay, no more!" She said out loud and got up off the floor, she was going to kill herself if she did anymore exercise. She paced the room, she had to get out of there, find something to do, find something, anything, that would make her stop feeling like she wanted to crawl out of her skin. She opened the door, and was relieved to see that his was shut, and she walked towards the living room, and found Joshua with a book reading. She looked around the room, "Where's Alec?" she said quietly.

He looked up at her, "In his room, taking a nap." 

Max nodded, *Nap, yeah, right.* She smiled at him, "So... whatcha doing?" She asked sitting down next to him, her foot tapping against the floor.

Joshua looked at her, then her foot, then back at her, "Reading." he said simply. She sighed, and leaned back against the couch. "Little Fella going insane." 

She laughed slightly. "You could say that." She ran a had through her hair, "It's almost over, almost. I've made it this far, I can make it till tomorrow." She said more to herself than to Joshua, as she bit her lip. He nodded, and she just about screamed. "Okay, that's it.... I'm going to go take another shower." She said getting up quickly, not waiting for a response from him. 

Max stood under the cold spray of the water, and shivered from the cold. It was helping, but she knew that she couldn't stay under the water until her Heat was over, she had to get out of the shower at some point. She honestly couldn't recall a time that was harder than this one. It had taken all that she had not to go see him, to check on him, to look on him. She turned the water off, and got out, grabbing the first towel she found, and started to dry her hair with it. And then she realized her mistake, her horrible mistake. She pulled the towel away from her, and looked at it, then brought it back to her face again. Him, it smelled like him.

*Oh no.* she thought, realizing that Joshua had probably used that towel on Alec, from giving him a shower or something, in the last day or so, when she couldn't. Her temperature rose, and her heart rate speed back up. *No, no.* She said to herself, and was about ready to turn the water back on, but another part of her, was telling her not to. That part was telling her to go see him, to check on him, to make sure he was okay. She was torn, but the as she sniffed the towel in her hand again, his smell working its way to her brain, she couldn't ignore that part of her anymore. 

*I'll just check on him,* she told herself, and wrapped the towel around her body, and left the bathroom for his room. She opened the door, walked inside and closed it behind her. And she was immediately attacked again with a wave of his scent, pure Alec. She slowly walked over to his bed, and sat down next to him. Her hand came up, shaking slightly and moved against the side of his face. *What am I doing?* She asked herself, part of her telling her to run from the room.

She leaned down, and her lips traveled over his softly, her pressure increasing slightly, kissing him harder, but then she pulled away. Her lips shaking slightly, her eyes watering, knowing that he wasn't, that he couldn't return it. The tears slipped down her face, and she leaned over him, hugging him, putting her face into his neck, sobbing softly against him. Her body aching both from desire and pain. "I need you so much." She said into his ear. 

And she did, in so many ways. Her heart and her body needed him at that moment, more than he could ever possibly know. She breathed deeply trying to calm herself, but it only worked to her disadvantage, as his scent invaded her senses once again, her tongue instinctively moving out to taste his skin, and she moaned lightly. And she mentally kicked herself, telling herself to leave, to run, as more tears ran down her cheeks. She kissed his neck and the side of his face, "I love you." She said into his ear, as her body still shook with the desire that was running through her, being so close to him.

Her heart rate was going faster, as well as her breathing. She sat up and tried to pull herself away from him, her hands moving to his chest to push herself away, but her fingers could feel the muscles of his chest under her finger tips, and they moved down and under the fabric of their own accord, allowing her to feel his warm skin. 

*Max, stop.* She told herself, but she couldn't as her hands started to pull the shirt up and over his head. She moved, allowing the towel to fall from her body, as she moved to straddle his stomach, and leaned over him. Allowing her naked flesh to touch his, her tears falling onto his neck, even while she slightly shuddered from the feeling of her hardened nipples moving over the skin of his bare chest. She held him to her, as she kissed his shoulder. Her body was screaming at her, screaming at her for being there, and screaming at her for the release that she so badly needed but knew was impossible to get.

Her hips wiggled against him slightly, and then she gasped and sat up quickly. Her hand moved behind her, and he eyes widen as her hand came in contact with him, he was hard. Her fingers moved around his erection, passion and want fueling her, and then part of her mind had it come crashing down, as she realized what was happening. It wasn't her, it wasn't his reaction to her, that was doing this. It was her pheromones. Her pheromones, the ones that Joshua could smell but weren't affected by, were affecting Alec and his feline DNA. Her eyes closed and her head lowered in defeat, her pheromones were causing this total physical reaction, and her body was responding to it as well.

Her body was shaking, as she moved the pajama bottoms from his body, and leaned back over him. Feeling her naked body covering his. She burred her face back at her neck, her mind telling her, to leave, this wasn't right, that she would be using him, that he didn't know what was happening. She cried into his neck, her body grinding against his, feeling him hard against her hip, making her shudder slightly. "I need you." She said softly, kissing his cheek, his eyes, his forehead, his lips. "I'm sorry." She said softly, knowing that she couldn't control herself anymore, as she sat up, straddling him. Her fingers moving around him, and then slowly, she lowered herself onto him. 

Her eyes closed as she felt him enter her body, stretching her slowly, as she gritting her teeth and until she was fully impaled on top of him. She closed her eyes, and leaned forward, wetness flowing down her face, as her hips began to move over him. Her brain and heart telling her how wrong this was, and yet her body urging her on. Her hips began to move faster, as she moved him in and out of her body, over and over again. 

She sat up, her hands moving to his chest, as she started to ride him, her desire and need coursing through her body. Pleasure rushing through her and building up higher and higher, as the guilt of her actions was becoming bigger and bigger as well. Her hips were moving faster, she was moaning his name, and with a final plunge, she was convulsing around him, her muscles gripping him, pulling at him, as her body shattered into a million pieces of light, and she collapsed onto him. 

She pulled herself against him, trying to come back to reality, clinging to him, her body shaking. And then realization came over her, as she still felt him, still felt him hard inside of her. She moved up slightly, and looked down at his face, a tear dropped down from her face to his. *Oh God,* She thought, and started to move again, this time more frantic. But not because she wanted it, she wasn't focused on her now at all. She moved her hips, grinding against him, contracted her inner muscles, while moving against him. "Please." She said softly, leaning down to his ear, as she continued to move. "Please, Alec, please cum for me." She said, almost begging. 

Max moved quicker, as the guilt was doubling by the second. She kept going and going, over and over, mad at herself for having another orgasm herself. And when her legs could no longer move, and her arms felt like they couldn't support her anymore, she fell over onto him, her tears turning into sobs, as she kept saying she was sorry into his ear. She hugged his body tightly to her, and cried. 

Then she pulled herself away, and looked down at him, kissed his lips softly. She knew she had to leave, she knew it was the only way to relieve the condition he was in because of her. She slowly disentangled herself from him, wrapped the towel around herself, went over and opened the window slightly, and quickly left the room, shutting the door. She headed straight for the bathroom, and turned the shower on.

She dropped the towel, and got inside, her knees sinking under her, as she slid to the floor, drawing her knees up to her chest, wrapping her arms around them, as the water washed over her. She lowered her face to her knees, and sobbed. *Oh, God, what have I done.* She cried. *What have I done?*


	10. Chapter 10

Something was invading his senses, something was permeating his brain, and he followed it, against his better judgment. As he got closer, he knew, pheromones. *Sick bastards.* He thought, as he tried to push himself away again, but he was to close to the surface, and heard the words.

"I need you." 

*No, it's a trick. It can't be her.*

"I love you."

*Now, I know it's a trick. Max doesn't love me.* He tried to push it away, push away the words, *I won't let them win. They can't get to me. They can't trick me.*

"Aleccccccc....."

*Oh God,* he knew what that sounded like. It was impossible. *No, no. Manticore and their sick twisted ways. They won't win. They can't make me tell. Never.*

"I'm sorry."

His heart was spinning at the words, *What kind of games are they trying to pull?* He couldn't listen, he couldn't believe it. He didn't trust it, they were trying to trick him, trying to get him to open up, to get him to rat out Max. *Never. I never will.*  
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Original Cindy walked into the house, and looked around, finally finding Max alone sitting on the couch, staring out the window. "Boo, where the hell have you been. It's lunch break already, and you were supposed to be back to work this morning."

"Don't start." Max said softly, and OC walked over to the couch and sat down, when Max didn't even turn to look at her.

"What's wrong, the Bitch is over now, so what is it?"

"You know how we said nothing bad could happen if I stayed here?" Cindy nodded. "Well, I think something worse happened then I could have imagined." She said closing her eyes, tears no longer coming, because she cried too long already.

"What happened?" Cindy asked confused, looking around, noticing that Alec wasn't in the room, which was unusual.

Max put her face in her hands, not wanting to say. "I used him, I took advantage of him," she looked down, closing her eyes, shaking her head, disgusted with herself, "God Cindy, I love him, and I practically raped him."

"What?" OC was confused. "But, I thought he couldn't..."

"His feline DNA reacted to my pheromones.... he... got a physical response from them." She said, trying to imply exactly what she meant, and Cindy nodded in understanding. "He wasn't reacting to me, he wasn't doing something he wanted to do. His body was just reacting to what Manticore did to us." She shook her head, "And I took advantage of it! God, what the hell is wrong with me? How could I do that to him!" She yelled, mostly at herself.

Cindy tried to calm her down, she realized how bad it sounded, "Max, calm down."

"Calm down? How can I? After what I did? I violated him! I violated the person that I love!"

"Max! This is Alec."

Her eyes widened, "So that makes it better? Are you saying just because someone likes sex, or has been with a lot of people, that it makes it okay?" She yelled standing up.

"No, Max, I'm not saying that." Cindy stood as well, as Max paced.

"I doesn't matter how many women he's been with. It doesn't matter about the comments he's made. No one, no one deserves to be used like that! And that's what I did! I used him, I violated him, for my own benefit! And he got nothing out of it, NOTHING!" She yelled, and sat back down in a huff. "Oh, Cindy. I tried, I tried so hard." Her face fell back into her hands. "It's like he couldn't even feel it." Cindy sighed, and sat on the coffee table in front of her, and patted her shoulder. "And now... now I can't even look at him. Which isn't fair either. I need to help him, but every time I look at him now...." She shook her head.

"Boo, listen, it's going to be okay."

Max looked up at her, "Don't say that. It's NOT okay! It won't be okay! Don't you see? He's made no progress, none! The only things that have happened are physical. He's physically healing, that's it. He's gaining his weight back because we feed him, he's getting his muscle tone back because we exercise him, and get him to stand and sit, and sort of walk around. But all that, is physical, all that is helped by Manticore DNA, none of that, none of it is mental." She sighed, "And I just probably added to the mental problem."

Cindy shook her head. "You know it's going to take time, he can't just pop out of it. And Sugar, you need to think about this a little more. It's not as bad as you think."

"Cindy, don't try and make me feel better about this, I don't deserve to feel better."

She shook her head at Max, "I'm not saying it was right. Just, you got to look at the whole picture here. One, Max you were in Heat."

"So? Does that make it some sort of defense? NO, it was wrong!"

"MAX! Just listen to me. No, it's not a defense, just part of the big picture. You were in Heat. Two, I'm sure Alec knows exactly what Heat is, has probably dealt with a few honeys back at Manticore with it." Max rolled her eyes. "Three, no matter what the boy feels for you, you are friends, and he obviously made it clear that he would do ANYTHING for you." Max looked down, that thought making her feel worse, but Cindy reached out and pulled her chin back up. "Four, as I said this is Alec, and while it doesn't make it okay, it does make it a little better. It's not like he was an innocent little boy. And last, I truly think he would understand, and if he was able to, he would more than likely be kidding you with smart ass remarks for it."

Max shook her head, she knew that Cindy was sort of right, and that she was trying to make her feel better. "It still doesn't make it right." She said.

"I didn't say it did Boo, I didn't say it did. But... it makes it livable. Besides, when his butt wakes up, maybe you can make it up to him." OC tried to lighten up the air, but immediately knew it wasn't going to work, and instead leaned in and gave her best friend a hug. "It will be okay, Boo, it will. You'll see." She said, rocking her slightly.  
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A month, a whole month had passed since she had found him, two months had passed since he was captured and her life had been turned upside down. Guilt still plagued her mind, from everything. From him getting caught to her using him in her period of Heat, but she pushed it aside. She had too, because no matter what, he still needed her, and she needed him. She leaned over him, and turned the page of music. Now that she had read a couple books, she could actually play the piano. Not as well, as she remembered him doing, but enough to get his hands to move over the keys. As they did this every so often, she got better at getting his fingers to go over the keys. 

She stood behind him, with her head over his shoulders and her arms around him, as she moved his fingers over the ivory keys. Her eyes scanned the music, committing the notes to memory, then looked back down at the piano moving his hands some more, the notes filling the basement. It was a beautiful song, she just wished she could play it better. 

"Sorry," She said into his ear, as she kept him playing the song. "I'm not as good at this as you are. You'll have to teach me when you get out of that head of yours." She said, straining a smile. Her hand slipped slight, and his hand hit a few keys at once, making a loud sound. And she winced slightly from it, but not before she noticed that he had too.

Her hand dropped his other unintentionally, and another loud sting of notes filled the room, and he jerked slightly. She sat down next to him quickly on the bench, and turned him towards her. "Alec?" She said. There was no response. "Can you hear me?" Nothing. She placed her hand on the keys again, the piano gave out a God awful sound, and his body slightly cringed. And she smiled.   
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*What the hell are they trying now?* He asked himself, as he heard the music. It was out of tune, and unbelievably slow. *Did they check my file, and try to find new ways of torturing me?*

A loud mixture of keys hit his mind, *Oh God, what the hell?*

And then he heard her, "Alec?"

*Oh no, not again. Did I tell them? Did I tell them something about her? Did I let them know? Did they figure out that I... No, don't think it. Don't think it, and they can't use it.*

"Can you hear me?"

*Don't listen to it, don't respond to it. If you do, if you trust it. They win.*

Another crash of music invaded his senses. *Damn. Knock it off!* He wanted to scream at them, but he didn't, he wouldn't. He wouldn't allow them the satisfaction that they were getting to him. He wouldn't let them hear him scream, he wouldn't let them hear him scream again. *Not again,* he thought, as he tried to push the voices and sounds away.


	11. Chapter 11

"So what are you saying Max?" Sketchy asked, as he drank a can of pop, watching her walk back and forth in front of him and OC, who sitting in the chair, that he was sitting on the arm of. 

"He heard it. He responded to the music. Okay, not the music, but the loud, horrible sound of a mixture of notes. Three times!."

They watched her, she was still smiling, Cindy looked over at Alec, who was sitting on the couch like he usually was. "What else happened?"

"Nothing," That made her sigh. "I tried talking to him, and everything, and I tried the loud sound again after that, but nothing. Maybe, he just got used to it, and it didn't catch him off guard anymore."

"Uh, Max, maybe you shouldn't use loud sounds." Sketchy said to her.

She turned to him, and looked at him strangely, "Why not? It was working, it showed more than a physical reaction, something connected mentally."

Sketchy didn't know how to answer her, and looked at OC for help. Cindy got where he was going with it, and tried to phrase it to Max in a way that wouldn't hurt her. "Umm, what I think Sketch is trying to say is, the sounds weren't pleasant, and he cringed in reaction to it." Max nodded, not understanding. Cindy sighed, "Well.... he might not have been expecting the first few times, so he reacted, but then tried to push the rest away, push it out of his mind."

"But why? Why push it away?"

Cindy looked to Sketchy for help, and neither one wanted to say. Finally, he said it, "Well, Max, I don't know much about Manticore, or torture techniques, but painfully loud sounds and bad music, especially to someone who loves music...." He just let it trail off, hoping, praying she would just understand. Cindy hoped so to, because she didn't want to beat the girl upside the head.

And then Max's eyes widened, "Oh God." She thought, "He probably thought it was White using some new type of torture on him, to get him to respond." She closed her eyes and quickly sat on the coffee table in front of them. "I didn't even think of that. You know, I never thought about how he could possibly perceive some of the things that we do around him." She looked up at the two of them, "I could be making it worse."

Cindy shook her head, this is exactly why she was so reluctant to say anything, "No, Max. He did react, which is progress, it does mean that he is under there somewhere. We just need to coax him out, not scare him out."

She looked over her shoulder at him, "But how?"

"Well, he responded to the music, maybe instead of having him play it, play some CD's instead." Sketchy told her. "Hey, I think I still have one that he loaned to me." He said as he stood up and went for his back pack. 

Max smiled at him, as he came back and handed her a CD case. She opened it up, it was some old Rock band before the pulse. She stood up and moved over to the stereo, popped in the CD, and turned it on. The beat started to fill the room, and she turned it up, it was loud enough, but not so loud that they couldn't talk. Joshua walked into the room, "Good tunes." He said, and went to put away the book he had been reading.

Cindy jumped up from the chair, "Hey Josh, want'a dance?" A big smile played across his face, and she grabbed his hand, and started to show him how to dance to the music.

Max laughed slightly watching them, she looked over at Alec, and sighed slightly. Wishing she could take his hand, and that they could just start dancing together as easily as Cindy and Joshua were. A hand went to her shoulder, and she turned around to see Sketchy, "I may not be Alec, but I can still dance." 

Her grin grew, and she took her hand, "Well, then, let's dance." She said. The four of them now dancing to the songs that played from the old rock band. All laughing as they soon started to dance together, teaching Joshua different moves, and Cindy showing off, making Max do so too.

Sketchy laughed, and then 'woo whooed' at one of Max's moves, "Did they have many dance off's at Manticore?" He asked her with a smile. Max just whacked him slightly upside the head in response, and Cindy and Joshua laughed.  
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Laughter. He could hear laughter. *That's not right.* He thought, *Why would there be people laughing?* Then he heard music. *I know this song.* He tried to make it out, *I have this CD.* His head was spinning, none of this made sense. *What the hell is going on?*

The laughter got louder, the song changed. Then he heard voices. "Go Cindy, go Cindy, go Cindy." Carried a chant of voices.

*Cindy? What?*

More laughter, "Go Joshua, go Joshua, whoo, yeah!"

*What the hell? Cindy? Joshua? This makes no sense.*

"Get down Max! Yeah!"

*Sketchy? That was Sketchy's voice.*

"Yeah, Boo. You go Girl!"

*Cindy? How the hell could they know about them? Oh, God, tell me I didn't say anything. No... no... I couldn't have. But... how.. why? That's it... I'm nuts. I've gone crazy. They made me crazy, I'm just like Ben, maybe it was genetic.* He didn't want to hear anymore, he didn't want to hear the voices. *They've finally succeeded in driving me crazy.* He thought as he tried to push it away, tried to find his sanity somewhere.  
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Joshua had long went to bed, and Sketchy and Cindy had just left. Max moved around the living room picking up pop cans, and plates, and then moved them into the kitchen. She had a smile on her face as she moved back into the room. She had really need that, but her smile faded slightly, once she looked at Alec sitting on the couch. She went and turned off the stereo, and then moved over to him. She grabbed both of his hands, and pulled him to his feet. She moved one arm up and over her shoulder, and her other arm went around his waist. 

She leaned him forwards slightly, and his muscles started to move, and she awkwardly moved the two of them towards his bedroom. He wasn't really walking, but sort of, as she dragged him along, his body moving only so that it wouldn't fall over as she moved. It would have been easier for her to just pick him up, but that would be giving in. She thought that one of these days, she would do this, and he would just start walking on his own. Unfortunately, it wasn't going to happen that night, she realized as they had finally made it into the room, and she sat him on the bed. 

Max started the nightly routine. She went into the bathroom, and grabbed the toothbrush, paste, and cup, filling it with water. Came back in the room, and brushed his teeth, then put everything back. She went and got his clothes for the night, and came back over to him. Pulled the shirt up and over his head, tossing it into the open hamper across the room. She took the old T-shirt and slipped it over his head, then lightly pushed him back onto the bed. 

Her hands moved to the zipper of his pants, and she undid them, like so many times before. Her hands moved to the waist band, and she moved them down his hips, and off his legs. She then took off his socks, leaving him in his boxers. She tossed the pants and socks into the hamper as well, and then moved him so that he was laying with his head on the pillow, and she pulled the sheet and blanket over him. She moved her hand over his face, and shut his eyes, "Good night." She said quietly, and stood back up. She turned off the light, and headed for her bedroom.

She took off her clothes, and put on a new pair of underwear, and slipped on an old T-shirt and walked over to her bed, and pulled back the covers. She sat down on the edge, and then sighed in the dark room as she laid back against the pillow, and pulled the sheet up over her. Things had been better today. He had showed that he was still in there, which gave her hope. But Cindy and Sketchy had been right, she had to coax him out of it, she couldn't try and scare him out of it. That was the last thing he needed. 

Max wanted nothing more than to just go to him, talk to him, tell him him to come out of it, tell him that she loved him, and to come back to her, but she couldn't. She couldn't do it anymore, she hadn't told him she loved him since that night. She closed her eyes to the dark, trying to shut out the thought, but it only played before her closed eye lids. She hadn't slept in his bed since that night either. She couldn't bring herself to do it, she couldn't use him for that bit of comfort that she so desperately needed. She refused to do so. She couldn't use him for her own selfish reasons, not anymore.

She laid in bed, feeling the emptiness next to her, and realized she wasn't going to get to sleep. She barely needed to sleep anyway, but tonight was even worse. She had a lot of fun with everyone, but, it also made her feel guilty. God, why did she always have to feel guilty? *Because, this is your life Max.* She shook her head at herself. So why did she feel guilty? Because she was having fun. She was living her life, dancing with her friends, and the reason that she could do that, the reason she wasn't dead or in White's clutches, was sitting on the couch. Sitting there with no clue what was going on around him. 

Cindy's words replayed in her head, "He needs to be coaxed out." She thought about it. Everything that she had tried, was trying to shock him into coming back. The quick fix. But, maybe that was the wrong approach. She sat up in bed. *You need to put this self guilt aside Max.* She told herself. *Go to him.* She struggled with the thought, and then finally pulled the sheet from her, and made her way out of her bedroom and across the hall.

She opened his door, moved into the room, and shut it behind her. Her eyes immediately adjusted to the lack of light, and she moved over to the bed. She squared her shoulders, tossed the doubt from her mind, and moved under the covers, and curled up next to him. Her hand came up to the side of his face, and cupped his cheek lightly, her mouth moving to his ear. "Alec?" She said softly, "I don't know if you can hear me or not, but I hope you can. Because tonight, I'm going to tell you a little story."  
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*No, not again. Why are they doing this to me? Or am I doing it to myself? Have I just gone off the deep end so far now, that I am now imagining her voice?*

"I don't know if you can hear me or not, but I hope you can. Because tonight, I'm going to tell you a little story."

*Story? Huh?*

"Do you remember our last mission? Do you remember us going to rescue the X7's? We saved them from White, and then you saved me."

*Yes, of course I remember. Why wouldn't I? That's why I'm here. What the heck is the point of this? Who the hell do they have playing Max's voice? Oh, God... did they get her? But, if they got her, then why are they still torturing me?*

"You threw me over that damn fence and told me to run. And I did. Why? Why the hell did I have to run? I always run. And I heard a gun shot, but I didn't stop, why didn't I stop?"

He was really confused now, she sounded like she was crying. It didn't make any sense, none of this made sense.

"And what did I do, I ran to Logan. Like I always do."

*Logan? How would they know about Logan?*

"But do you know what? I didn't run to him for comfort, I didn't run to him because I wanted him. I ran to him, to help you. I realized I needed you, that I loved you."

*What? Love me? No, not possible. Wait, I heard her say that before. No, no, this is my mind, it's playing tricks on me. It's just telling me what I want to hear.*

"I tried to find you, I tried so hard, I kept looking, I didn't stop. I wouldn't. It took a month, a whole month, but I found you. I finally found you."

*A month? She found me? No, can't be. It hasn't been a month, I haven't been here a month.*

"I found you in this small government outpost, they had you in this small room. I broke in, I got you out."

*No, no, it's not possible. Stop listening to this. You're just making it up yourself.*

"Logan and I took you to Dr. Carr."

He could hear her crying again. *No, stop. I don't want to hear that. Make her stop crying.*

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, Alec. I'm sorry I couldn't find you sooner, I'm sorry I couldn't stop them, from what they did to you. I'm sorry I couldn't save you sooner. But I'm here now. I'm here now."

*No.. this can't be real. It can't be.* He heard the small sobs. *No, it doesn't make sense. Max wouldn't be like this over... me.*

"Alec, please. Please, come back to me. Come back to us. We miss you. Joshua, Cindy, Sketchy. We miss you. I miss you. We need you. I need you."

*It can't be true. My mind has to be telling me, what I want to hear. This can't be true, can it?* He struggled against the thoughts. *What if it is true? What if she did find me? But love? No, no, that's not possible. Max could never love me, she barely tolerates me.*

"Please, Alec. Anything, just give me anything. Give me one of your cocky comebacks. Or, your sly remarks. God, call me a bitch. I don't care. Just, something. Please."

He could hear more sobs, and the sound was killing him. *What if it really is her? What if she really did find me? What if it's a trap? Should I risk it? But, what will happen if I don't risk it?* He was confused, he didn't know what to do, what to believe. 

"Alec, please. Please know, that you're safe. I won't let them hurt you, I won't let them get you back. Never, never again." 

He couldn't take it anymore, *Max* He tried to say, his mind heard it, but his ears didn't. *Max.* He tried again, but it was like talking against a wall, and he couldn't get past it. He struggled against it, and screamed *Max!* But again, nothing. He felt lost, trapped. *Let me out!* He screamed mentally, but nothing happened, and his heart broke as all he could hear wasn't his words he was trying to say, but the sound of tears and small sobs coming from Max.


	12. Chapter 12

Quiet. Everything was quiet, so quiet it hurt. *Where did she go? What happened to her?* He thought to himself. The crying and stopped, but now there was nothing. He realized, he couldn't see, he couldn't open his eyes, he couldn't feel. He couldn't feel anything, he could only hear. And at that moment, he couldn't hear anything, anything but the silence.

He struggled against the confines of his mind, but the effort was exhausting. He couldn't talk, he couldn't get his mind to connect and form the words. Heck, what use was it, he didn't even know if Max was in the room, he didn't even know if anyone was. The the question still lingered in his mind, what if it was a trap. 

Or what if he was making it all up. What would happen if he woke up, and found them still there, asking him questions. He pushed the thought away. *No, don't think that. Max, said she needed you. Even if it's a small possibility, I need to help her, I need to make sure.*

Then he heard it, a small sound. His mind tried to figure out what it was. There it was again, a small creaking sound. Then a rustling of... *Sheets?* Then another small creak, *A bed, someone's moving in a bed.* That sort of made sense to him, that he was laying down, in a bed, but the movement didn't make sense. He couldn't move, he tried, but couldn't. *So what's moving?* And then his heart stopped.

"Good Morning."

*Max. Oh God, it's her.* She was there, Max was the one moving, the one moving in bed. *In bed with me.* His brain was telling him that it was so wrong, that it couldn't be happening. That it was his own sick brain tricking him, making him believe what he had thought about so many times, as being true. *Yeah, but in my dreams I could see and feel her.* 

*Wait... she said morning. That means... She slept here, she was there the whole time. She was asleep, next to me.* His head was spinning. *She loves me, needs me, and is sleeping next to me!* If he could have he would have shook his head. None of it made sense. But he remembered the story she told him. 

Maybe it was true. *Yeah right, what's the probability that Max could love a 'screw up' like you? Less than 1 percent.* But it was still a possibility. He tried to reach out to her again, to talk to her, to tell her he was there. But it was like trying to get through a maze that had only four connecting walls.  
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Max snuggled into the warm body next to her, and pulled the sheets closer to her, hiding in the comfort for a few more minutes, before her brain registered where she was. She stilled instantly, she had fallen asleep with him. She let a brief moment of guilt wash through her, but then pushed it aside. *No, you can feel guilty and deal with everything later. Once he's back. Now he needs you, and that's all there is too it.* She told herself. 

She moved, and opened her eyes looking up at him, her hand moved over his cheek lightly, "Good Morning." She said, then moved her head to lay back on his chest, resting her hand there as well. She knew she had to get up, get him dressed, and fed before she went to work. But she wanted to stay there with him as long as she could.

She sighed lightly, and got out of bed, and went and got out his clothes and sat them down on the corner of the bed. Then she hurried into the bathroom, taking a quick shower, brushed out her hair, and changed. She then went back into his room. "Okay, time for you to get up." She said, and pulled him up into a sitting position.   
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He listened to the movement in the room, the sounds of doors and drawers. Then it was quiet for a long time. *What the heck is going on? What is she doing?*

"Okay, time for you to get up."

*Yeah, okay Max. Sure. I'll jump on one foot while I'm at it.* But then he heard the air rush by him, recognizing that he had somehow moved, but not on his own. Then he hard the rustle of fabric moving, knowing that something had moved over his head by the sound. 

"Hey, which shirt do you want today? Blue or Black?"

*What? Shirt?* He was confused, and then clarity dawned on him. She had removed whatever shirt he had been wearing, and was now putting a new one on him. *She's changing me? Oh, my God. She's changing my clothes?* Then panic started to grip him as he realized what was going on, what was really happening. 

*She did get me out, she got me away from White. But now... Now I'm locked in my own head.* He tried to scream out to her, tell her. He tried to open his eyes, to move, but he couldn't. He struggled so hard, but nothing seemed to work. His panic was rising, as he now understood all that was happening. Max was taking care of him, and he was... he was nothing. *I'm nothing. I'm a vegetable. No, no. This can't be happening.*

"Yeah, I like the black too."

He didn't want to listen anymore. He didn't want to listen to her talk to him, like he was listening, but couldn't respond. *I'm a fucking solider! Let me out of here!* He heard the fabric run past him again, knowing that she was pulling the shirt over his head. Then he heard the air move past him again, knowing that she had moved him once again, where he didn't know. 

He heard more rustling, then a zipper. "Okay, clean change of underwear and the kaki pants, now let me get your socks."

In that instant, the last little bit of his world crashed around him. She was taking care of him, undressing him, dressing him, more than likely feeding him, his mind stopped. *Bathing me.* He felt like a child, completely helpless. *I have to get out of here.* He thought, and he struggled against the walls and caverns in his mind, but it wasn't working. Another rush of air again, telling him he was moving.

"Time to wake up."

*Ahhhhhh* He screamed in his brain. The light was too bright, it was blinding, so bright. *No, not again. No, it was trick, I should have known.* The laser seared into his eyeballs, the images played across his mind. The blinding light, the pain ripped though his memory, and he tried to push it away. *No, not again, not again.* 

It was so bright, it hurt, it hurt his eyes, he didn't want to look at it, he didn't want to see it. He tried to back away from the light, the images starting to focus. He tired to turn and run, the memories of the pain, making him fear what was going to happen next. What they would do to him now.

The white light, started to focus, grays moved around, colors were slowly being added, and his brain became lured into it. Even though part of him was telling him to ignore it, to block it, part of him couldn't. The brightness started to fade, the colors coming into focus, *Max.*


	13. Chapter 13

His brain couldn't believe the image that was before him, it was her. It was really her. Max was standing there in front of him with a small smile on her face. *Max.* His mind said, trying to reach out with his voice, but it was futile. He knew he wouldn't be able to talk to her, how could he control his vocal cords when he could even feel the stuff around him. He tried to look around the room, but his eyes wouldn't move. 

Alec could only see what was in his line of sight, and right now that was her. Which right then was more than enough for him, because it meant it was true, what she had said was true. "There we go." She said, as he watched her lips move. "Let's get some breakfast." She said, and he watched her arms move, and pick him up to his feet. 

He could see how she was trying to have him walk, and he tried, he tried so hard but he couldn't do it. Heck he couldn't even feel her arms holding him up, let alone the pressure of his feet on the floor. His head was titled to the side, so as they moved, he saw the floor move by slowly, he realized they were in Joshua's house. As the floor changed to tile, he recognized the kitchen, and then somehow his head was moved, and his eyes caught Max again for a brief moment, and then he was facing the television.

He heard footsteps over the floor, and a cupboard being opened. Then louder footsteps came up to him, "Morning."

*Joshua.* He thought, and then a figure walked past the television, from the height, he knew it had to be him. The television played before his eyes, but he ignored it, as his ears tried to figure out where they were in the room, and what they were doing. 

"Max, do you want me to make you some eggs?"

"Nah, I'm almost done with my cereal." He then heard some banging of what he thought must be pots and pans. Then the faucet being turned on, and a spoon clinking in a bowl. Another cupboard opening and shutting, more footsteps, these now moving towards him. "Okay, breakfast." She had said, and his view was changing, and back to her face. "Chocolate." She said holding up some kind of weird glass with some top on it. 

*No,* he wanted to close his eyes now. *I don't want to see this.* He thought as he realized she was going to feed him. *This isn't right.* He struggled with the images, wishing that he could just yank the cup thing out of her hand and do it himself. He hated the look on her face, the look of concentration and concern. He hated watching her move a towel to his face, and wipe away what she couldn't get him to swallow. He hated feeling so helpless.

Finally the humiliation was over, and she moved away, turning him back to the tv. He struggled with the thoughts, and saw Joshua move in front of the TV again, probably taking a seat on the other side of the table. "Okay, I'm outta here." He heard her voice, and then her face was there again. "Have a nice day," She said smiling at him, and then leaned in and kissed his cheek. Then she moved quickly, "See ya Big Fella." 

"Bye, Little Fella," he heard Joshua respond.

Then he heard the door shut. And he sat there, with his eyes on the television, but he still wasn't paying attention to it. *She kissed me, my cheek, but...* He was in slight shock, *Does she really love me?* He asked himself. Then he thought about everything that she was doing for him. The thoughts disgusted him, yet at the same time, it told him how much she really cared. *Or does she just feel guilty?* He knew how guilted Max got about things, and he wasn't sure what to think about it. 

The day went by very slowly for Alec, as the television played. Or Joshua moved him into the living room, reading to him some old book. He didn't really pay attention to either, his mind was too active. He was either trying to figure out what was going on. How long it been going on. If it was real or just a figment of his imagination. That, and he tried too forget the more embarrassing parts of the day. But he knew, that if he ever got out of his mind, he would have to thank Joshua and Max, because what they were doing for him, wasn't entirely pleasant.   
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Max came back home, and it was late. Later than usual, "Hey," she said walking into the room, seeing Joshua and Alec sitting on the couch. "I hope you ate dinner already." She said as she dropped her bag and threw herself on the empty cushion next to Alec.

"Yep, I ate, and so did Alec. One can of beef, on can of green beans, and a vanilla shake." He put down his book on the stand, "Why so late?"

"Normal!" She sighed, "Got me two minutes before the end of the freakin shift for a run out to God knows where." She kicked her feet up onto the table, "I grabbed a sandwich on the way back." She leaned over, and rested her head on Alec's shoulder, "So, did I miss anything today?" She asked hopeful.

"Nope, same." Joshua replied, and stood up moving back over to the painting he had been working on earlier. "Don't worry, he'll come out of it. Just takes time."

"I know," she said quietly, "Just wish it was sooner rather than later." She sighed lightly. "Ugh," she said looking at her hands, "What did I get on me? I swear some of those packages have so much dirt on them." She looked at the clock, it was too early to get ready for bed, "Oh, I don't care. I'm taking a shower now, I feel gross." She said standing up.   
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"Come on, let's get you cleaned up too." He heard her say as she pulled him to his feet. *Oh boy,* he thought. And soon they were moving back towards the bathroom, and soon he realized they were there, and he must have been sitting on top of the toilet. Her smiling face there again. God, he loved to see that smile, and it was actually a real one. A real one at him, even though it was slightly covered with concern, it was still a smile. 

He saw her hands reach out, and then darkness as his shirt was lifted over his head. He was pulled back to his feet, and he looked at her with her head looking down, and he heard the zipper. If he could have swallowed hard, he would have, if his mind would have been connected with his body, he was she sure she would have found something a lot more interesting then she was going to, when she took off his pants.

Part of him wished he would react to her, even if he couldn't feel it, because it would mean that he was connected mentally in some way, and also it would give her a sign of some type, another part of him was hoping he wouldn't because he felt like he would die of embarrassment. Just another bad situation to add to the day of them. He watched her disappear from his line of sight, then stand back into it with his pants and boxers in her hands, tossing them somewhere. *I'm naked.* He thought, and then the look on her face troubled him. She wasn't looking at him, well at least the look in her eyes wasn't anything sexual at all, it was completely detached.   
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She tossed his clothes into the hamper at the other side of the bathroom, and then sat him back down. She turned to the shower, and turned the water on, pulling the curtain around the tub. How many times had she done this now? It had become completely routine, she almost laughed at he self, at the first time she undressed him, and bathed him. Now, it wasn't a big deal anymore. Sure, she still loved looking at him, but she wouldn't let the thoughts run away from her anymore. 

She turned back around, and removed her shirt, throwing it into the hamper. "God, I need a shower." She said lifter her arm slightly, sniffing. "Ugh." She said at the smell, "Next time I just tell Normal to go to hell." She started to unbutton her pants, and shimmed them down her legs. She had just found it easier for them to both take a shower at once, because one, the shower was easier than a bath. And two, she got just as drenched washing him, so it saved time. Her hands went to her tank top.  
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Alec sat there in shock, watching the show in front of him. When she had removed her shirt, he thought it was just to get it out of the way. When she removed her pants, he thought it was just so they wouldn't get wet. But when she started to remove her tank top, his mind froze. He was torn between feeling bad that she didn't know he could see her, and thanking God that he was there being able to slowly see her baring herself to him. 

Why did it always seem that things never worked out the way he wanted them to? He had dreamed about this, how many times? But then it would never have happened. And now, now when he couldn't do anything about it, he couldn't respond to it, it was happening, right before his eyes. If he could have moaned when her breasts came into view he would have, and he would have done so again, when she removed her panties, and flung them over in the corner. His dreams hadn't even imagined her this perfect. Her hands went out to him, and he realized he was standing up again, and she was there next to him, pulling him into the shower. *Oh God.* He thought, screaming to himself how unbelievably unfair the world was to him.  
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Max kept one hand on his arm, keeping his balance, as she grabbed the was cloth, and pushed him back into the spray of the water. She looked up into his eyes, as he stared down at her, and she wished they could see her. *Do I really wish he could see me right now?* She asked herself, remembering how they actually were, and she smiled slightly, a little wickedly. *Yeah, I do.* She thought as she moved the towel over his chest and arms.  
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He was trying so hard to find a way out, he wanted to feel her. He wanted to feel her hands moving that washcloth over his body, her fingertips on his skin. He wanted to feel the water pour down over him, wanted to be able to reach out and touch her, to hold her, to crush her to him, to kiss those full lips, to feel her wet naked skin against his. Why was it the most erotic thing that had ever happened to him, was something he couldn't respond too?

Alec watched her move away slightly, and get the shampoo, and her hands move up and over his head. *Oh God,* he thought, *This isn't fair.* He wanted to feel her fingers running though his hair, he wanted to do the same thing to her. God, she looked so beautiful with her hair wet, small droplets of water running down her. He struggled harder, but the walls just wouldn't come down.  
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She rinsed out the soap from his hair, and moved him, to lean against the side of the shower, as she quickly washed hers, and put in the conditioner. She then soaped up the cloth again, starting to wash the grime from her own body, her thoughts for a brief moment, thinking about him taking it from her, and returning the favor that she had for him. She sighed slightly, and pushed the thought away.  
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*I'm going to die, right here, right now.* He thought, because he was in heaven yet also in absolute hell. There was no way he could turn away, there was no way he could banish the images from his head, he had no choice but to watch her. Watch her wash herself, watch the water cascade over her body, watch her hands move over her own naked flesh. *Now if White had used this form of torture...* He thought sarcastically, and realized with fear, just how close he would have been willing to talk, just to be able to touch her. 

But then she was setting down the cloth, rinsing out her hair, and turning off the water. He was being pulled from the tub, and was again sitting on the toilet seat, and Max was soon back in front of him with a towel wrapped around her, and one in her hands. He mentally sighed, partially glad it was over, and partially upset as well. Then he cursed again, as he realized that she was using the towel to dry him off, and he couldn't do the same to her.

He was back on his feet, and he believed from her movements, that she had wrapped the towel around his waist, and then they were moving out of the door again, and back into what he assumed was his bedroom. When his eyes got more of the area, it confirmed his thoughts.  
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Max got him changed and laying back in bed, "I know, i know, it's too early to go to sleep, but I really don't know what else to do. Besides, it's been such a long day already. Well, at least for me." She said moving into bed next to him, pulling the sheet up over them. She laid her head on his shoulder, and looked up at him, her hand came to rest at the side of his face, and titled it slightly down to look at her. 

She smiled up into his eyes, "So was there anything good on TV today?" She asked, "Probably not. I know Joshua started a new book today, hope you liked it. I know he really likes reading to you." She said, her fingertips lightly playing over his face, feeling his soft skin.  
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He watched her trail her finger tips over his face and eyes, and listened to her talk to him. *Oh Max,* he thought, *I wish I could respond. I wish I could answer your questions. I wish I could wrap my arms around you and hold you.* He tried to chip away at the walls in his mind, trying to break through, bit by bit, but it was like using a sculptors chisel to tear down Mt. Everest.

He heard her sigh, as she closed her eyes, "Just come back to me, Alec."

*I'm trying Max, I'm trying.*


	14. Chapter 14

A week had passed for Alec, a whole week of finally understanding that he was safe, away from White, away from the pain and torture. But a whole week of being able to see and hear everything around him and not be able to do a thing about it. As each day went by, the more and more frustrated he got by it. The more and more he realized how wonderful his friends were to him, and he couldn't even tell them, he couldn't thank them. 

He struggled so many times, just to talk, to move his eyes, to feel. To feel something. All those nights, he knew that Max was asleep next to him, and he couldn't touch her, couldn't feel her, couldn't hold her, drove him crazy. The pain he saw in her eyes when she would look at him, beg him to say something, to do something, anything, hurt him to no end.

The days would move by even slower for him. When Max would leave he would be sat in front of the TV, or Joshua would read to him, or play some music on the stereo. Which basically left him to his thoughts for most of the day, and struggling against his own mind. 

He came to the realization that the time he had first heard the music, it was in fact Max moving his hands over the piano, and not White trying to torture him. That became clear when she took him back to the basement earlier in the week, doing the same thing, but being very careful not to bang out any loud notes. 

That knowledge made him think about all the other things he had heard, and he couldn't help but wonder if they were true as well. What was real, what wasn't. He really wasn't sure. He remembered snippets of things here and there, sounds and voices. Some where the people interrogating him, others he had never heard before, and then there was Max. He remembered her voice, that first time he had heard her in his head.

It was her voice, but there was something different about it, something he couldn't quite place, something in it that he had never heard before. And that was part of the reason, he wasn't sure if it had really been her or not. The other reason was when he heard it, he didn't believe that she could love him, and she had said that to him. But now, now he knew that she did. He could see it in the way she looked at him, what she was doing for him. 

He could remember her saying she needed him, which she had been saying lately as well. *But the way she said it.* He tried to recall how the words sounded, but his mind was still sort of foggy about it all. She had said that she was sorry. *Sorry for what?* He just assumed she blamed herself for what happened to him, even though it was his own choice, he had made this choice. Even though he had thought they would just kill him, and not torture him for information, he had chose to save her.

But the one thing, the one thing he remembered, and he couldn't understand was her saying his name, *No, she screamed out my name.* It didn't make sense to him, for so many reasons. That's why he believed it was his imagination, *I mean, there's no way that sex between Max and I could happen. Right?* It just wasn't possible, if he couldn't react to her, when she showered with him, he certainly wouldn't be able to when he had no idea what was going on.

His mind thought about it, more and more. *And it was only once, nothing like that has happened since. So, it doesn't make sense.* And besides he knew Max wouldn't do that, *Heck how long was her and Logan together, and they never did anything.* It added weight to his belief that everything he had heard wasn't real. Some of it was, and some of it wasn't. *Maybe part of my mind was dreaming.*

Alec was brought out of his thoughts when he heard the front door open, if he could have smiled, he would have. That meant she was home from work, which meant he wouldn't have to stare at the damn TV anymore. He knew that once he got to normal, he was going to stay away from the damn TV, *If I get back to normal,* he thought with an internal sigh.

"Honey I'm home." She called out, and he would have laughed at the sound of her voice, completely sarcastic. *Well, at least she seems like she's in a good mood.*  
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Max walked into the Living room, dropping her bag at the floor by the coffee table like she always did, and walked over and turned the TV off. "Enough for the day." She looked around the room. "Joshua?!" She called out, surprised he wasn't there painting or reading, or even watching the TV. 

"In here Little Fella," came his voice from the kitchen. Then she understood, her senses actually now picking up the smell.

"Mmm, smells great, whattcha cooking?" She asked leaning around his shoulder looking into the pan.

"Chicken Fried Rice, found recipe in book you gave me." He said stirring the pan.

She smiled, she had bought him a cookbook, to get him to cook something besides Mac and Cheese, and now he was trying out all kinds of recipes. It surprised her how good he was at it too, "I'll set the table." She said, setting out two plates, and sighed slightly, wishing it was three. But, Alec wouldn't be eating what they did, as usual. She then went back into the living room, and brought him into the kitchen. While, he couldn't eat what they did, didn't mean he wasn't going to enjoy dinner with them.

Her and Joshua talked their way through dinner, telling each other what they did for the day. "So what are you doing tonight?" Josh asked.

She smiled, "Not sure, last night Cindy and Sketchy dragged me out to Crash, they wanted me to go again tonight, but..."

"Max... you should go out with your friends. No need to stay cooped up here."  
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Alec saw the look on her face, she didn't want to go because of him, he knew she felt guilty going to have fun and him being there. And while he hated the idea of being left alone, and bored all night, he hated it even more that she wasn't having fun. That she wasn't enjoying herself. 

"No, I'm not cooped up here. I've got the two of you. Besides, I don't feel like the loud music."

He could tell that she was just telling herself that, and felt bad. He wanted to tell her to go have fun, and beat Sketchy at pool for him, and he tried, but as always it didn't work.

"How about the three of us watch a Movie? I'll go get one." She said, and stood up from the table. He mentally sighed. *When I get out of here, I'm taking her out, every night.* He told himself.   
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Max turned off the credits of the movie, and yawned, and looked over, smiling, seeing Joshua laying back, his mouth open, a snore coming every so often. She reached over Alec, and pulled on Joshua's arm, "Joshua... Joshua, wake up." He stirred, and she pulled on his arm again, and his eyes finally opened. "Go to bed."

He stood up, "Good night little and medium fella's." He said and walked out of the room.

"Night Josh." Max said, and turned back to Alec next to her, yawning as she looked up at him. "Okay, it's late. Time for bed." She said standing, then pulling him to his feet. She started to move out of the room with him, and stumbled slightly, and laughed. "Sorry, I must be more tired then I thought." She said, as she started to move them again.  
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He saw the floor move by, and laughed in his head slightly when she stumbled. He so wanted to comment about it, but alas, it wasn't possible. He saw the wall getting closer to him, *Max...* He thought, as it moved closer. *Max... stay awake.* His vision was starting to shake as he realized she was wobbling again. And then came the wall right at him.

*OWWWWW* He screamed in his head, *Damn Max... that hurt!* He thought, and then his find froze. He had felt it. 

"Alec, I'm sorry." He heard her say, her face came into sight as she looked down at him. "I'm sorry." Then he was pulled back to his feet, and being pulled into the bedroom. He tried to feel her hands on him, but he didn't. He realized he was sitting on the bed, and he tried to feel it, but it didn't seem to be working. He watched her move away from him, and heard drawers being opened. He tried to focus, tried to turn off the sight and sounds he was experiencing, so he could concentrate on feeling. 

God, hitting that wall had hurt, but he was glad it did. It might have been pain, but at least he had felt something. He concentrated hard, but now it was hard to shut off his other senses. He watched Max come back over, and he knew she was changing him for bed. He tried again, letting his whole mind try and reach out. And then he noticed it, it was so feather light, it was barely noticeable. Very light touches at his side, and then he could sort of feel the fabric against him, moving, but it was so light, it was taking all his concentration to feel it. 

*Geez, if I can barely feel this, how hard did she ram me into the wall?* He thought for a second, and then cursed himself, because he had lost his focus. He started again, trying to use his sense of touch to figure out what was going on, and not everything else. Slowly, he could feel the new T-shirt slip over his head, he concentrated harder, and then he felt it. He felt her fingertips at his chest, smoothing out the shirt. He almost wanted to cry, that simple touch, gave him so much comfort.

He felt her push him back onto the bed, and he wanted to smile, as he felt the soft mattress behind him, and then he felt the material move over his legs, felt the cold air hit his naked skin. *God, it's cold in here.* He thought for a second, and then cursed again, worried he'd have to start all over again. But stopped, when he realized the feeling didn't go away, in fact it was becoming more real. 

Alec felt more fabric move over him, and realized he was dressed for bed, and Max was pulling him back up on the bed. His head moved back onto the pillow, and he mentally sighed, at how wonderful it felt. He was thrilled, excited, so happy, he wanted to jump up and down and scream, he was so happy. He heard her leave the room, and he concentrated harder, feeling the sheet over him, the bed under him, the soft breeze from what he thought was an open window. 

Then he heard her come back into the room, his heart leaping, as he felt her get under the sheets, and curl up next to his side, he felt her pick up his arm and wrap it around her. Felt her, saw her move to look at him. "Good Night." She said, and leaned in. He saw her come towards him, then he felt her lips on his cheek. He smiled in his head at the touch, and then felt her lay her head on his chest, and then her hand rested there as well. And he was in heaven, pure heaven, for even if she didn't know it, didn't understand it, that night, he truly did hold her in his arms.


	15. Chapter 15

Alec's mind slowly woke up to the feel of Max moving beside him, and he would have smiled if he could have, but internally he was. From the small sounds she was making, and small movements, he could tell she was slowly waking up next to him. Her body moving closer to him, her face trying to hide into his shoulder, her leg moving more over his, trying to pull him closer. *God, I could wake up like this every morning.* He thought, as she continued to stir next to him.  
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Max didn't want to wake up, she just wanted to lay there, lay there next to his warm body, and pretend that everything was fine. That he was just sleeping peacefully, and that later, they would just both wake up, and he would smile at her. If she didn't open her eyes, if she stayed partially asleep, it could still happen. 

She shook her head slightly, knowing that it wasn't going to work, but she still didn't want to get out of bed. She slowly opened her eyes, stretching slightly, then smiled remembering it was Saturday, and settled back against him. "So glad I don't have to go into work today." She nuzzled her face against his T-shirt, "Let's just stay in bed all day." But her mind told her that it wasn't a good idea.

She moved, and looked up at him, her fingertips came out and lightly trailed over his face. "But I know it's not good for you to lay here all day." She watched her fingers move over his cheekbones, and down his neck, then trace the collar of his shirt. She then moved her hand back up, opening his eyes to the sunlight of the room. She smiled down at him, "Morning."  
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His eyes adjusted to the light, and he saw her smiling down at him. *Morning Max,* He responded in his head. He wanted to tell her, that they could spend all day in bed if she wanted to, that he didn't mind. He didn't mind the feeling of her next to him, over him, touching him, caressing his face, in fact he loved it.

He watched her face trying to figure out what to do, she looked so cute, he wanted to just lean up and kiss her right between her eyes, where her brow was slightly creased in thought. Then she moved out of his sight to his side again, then her hands were moving under him, and he was rolling to his side.

"How about we just lay here and talk for awhile?" She said and smiled. 

*Sounds fine with me,* He thought looking into her brown eyes, loving the feel of her arms around him, and her forehead resting against his. He watched her trying to figure out what to talk about, and then her hand move back over to his face. He would have closed his eyes to just feel it, savor the soft skin of her fingers moving over his face. He never realized before how wonderful that simple touch could feel.

But the happiness he was feeling was starting to fade as he watched the expression on her face, her lip was slightly trembling, and her eyes were getting wet. *Max, no... no, please, I can't bare it. Please, please don't cry.*  
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She struggled with her thoughts, as she looked at him. Everyday it was the same thing, and it killed her not knowing, not knowing what he could or couldn't hear. What was going on in his mind? Was he making any progress at all? She tried to shake the feelings, and shook her head slightly, "No, I'm not going to do this." She said trying to rein in her emotions, and forced herself to smile at him.

"What to talk about?" She asked him, and sighed lightly. She struggled for a topic, she had told him so much already. She had told him about escaping from manticore as child, she told him about her life until he met her, she told him what she had done while he was captured. Only thing was, she didn't know if he could hear her or not.

"You know, this would be a heck of a lot easier if you came up with something to talk about, instead of me doing it all the time." She said to him, and poking him in the shoulder slightly to make her point. "What? Not going to respond to that?" She asked, challenging him, trying to get something out of him. 

Her eyes started to water again, "I used to hate all those cocky comebacks you would give. At least I thought I did. But I want to hear them again. God, Alec, I want to be able to argue with you again. You were the only one that wouldn't let me get away with anything. You would challenge me, and I said I hated it. But I loved it, I loved every second of it. And I miss it. I miss you. I need you." 

One tear slipped down her cheek, and she quickly brushed it away. "Ugh, stop it." She told herself again, closing her eyes, "Don't do this." But she couldn't help it, she could feel the emotions starting to rise in her again, feel them starting to consume her. "Oh, Alec." She said, burying her face into his shoulder, her mouth at his ear, her breath against his neck. 

"For so long I thought I didn't need or want anyone, that I would be okay alone. That I could do everything alone, preferred it that way. And I can't, I've realized I can't. I've depended on you too much without realizing it, I can't go back to being alone again. I can't." More tears slipped down her cheeks and onto his shirt.

She pulled away looking into his eyes again, and then rolled him back onto his back, she leaned over him, her hand moving to the side of his face. "Please, I need to know, I need to know if you can hear me, or see me. I need to know that you understand that you are safe. That you are in there somewhere, trying to get out." More tears slipped down her face.  
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Her words were killing him, breaking his heart. *Max, I'm here. I'm here.* He wanted to tell her, he tried so hard, but the words wouldn't form. He tried to move his hands, his arms, his eyes, he tried to blink on his own, but he just couldn't do it. He tried with all his might, but it just tired him out. He didn't know why he couldn't break through the mental barrier. 

Alec wanted to be able to let her know that he was there, that she wasn't alone. Her tears dropped onto this shirt, and it killed him, his heart was breaking at the amount of pain that she was going through, all because of him. He wanted to pull her to him, and hold her, telling her everything would be okay. 

"Please..." She cried, "Please, something, anything Alec." Her head moved down, and he felt her face against his chest, her arms moving around him, hugging him, sobbing into his chest.

He was powerless to communicate with her, powerless to move. He struggled against the walls, he had to tell her, had to give her some hope. *Don't give up on me Max, please. I'm trying.* 

Alec struggled harder, he tried to focus on just one thing, to just move his fingers, the ones in the hand that she was holding to her, like a lifeline. He tried closing off his other senses, just to focus on this fingers, even just one. If he could just move it, just even a little, and have her feel it.

*Please.. oh please.* He thought, his mind screaming, trying to move past the barriers that he had built up. But did he make the walls to sturdy for even him to break out of? Her sobs kept him trying, the feeling of her tears soaking through his shirt, made him try even harder. 

His mind hurt, it felt like it was going to explode, and he gave in. It was too hard, he was exhausted, his heart was breaking again. *Oh Max, I can't. I can't, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry.* He thought, his emotions getting the better of him, knowing that he was failing her, and he could do anything about it.  
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Max tried to stop, she shouldn't be doing this, she shouldn't be crying like this in front of him. But she couldn't help herself, she was laying in bed with the man that she loved, but she felt completely alone. Everyday that went by she felt more alone, and it was killing her inside. She moved her head, and looked at her hand holding his tightly. How she wished he would squeeze it back. She prayed it would happen, but as always nothing did.

She shook her head again, trying to stop crying, and she pulled away slightly. Trying to bring her emotions back under control, she moved his hand back to the bed, and wiped her tears away, and then looked down at him. What she saw made her stop breathing, her hand moving slowly, shaking to his face. Her fingertips moved over his wet cheeks. She looked down into his eyes, seeing them wet, and watched as another tear rolled down his cheek.


	16. Chapter 16

Max starred at him with her fingertips resting on the moisture on his face for a moment, unable to move. For a brief second her brain tried to rationalize it as some other pure physical response, but it couldn't, because there was no reason for it. The only possible reasons for the tears was that he had heard her. She knew he could hear things, such as the music, but this wasdifferent. *He heard... ME. Not just sounds, he heard me, and understood me. He knew what I was saying.* 

Her hand moved to wipe away the tears, and she leaned over looking into his unmoving eyes. She wasn't sure if he could see here or not, but she was sure he could hear her. "Alec?" She said almost to quite, "Oh, God, I know you can hear me." Her voice was shaking slightly. "I know you can understand what I said." She swallowed hard, "Could hear me crying."

She smiled down at him, "I don't know if you can see me, but that's okay. Because at least I know, I know you are in there." A tear of happiness slipped down her face. "I know you are trying to get out of there." Her heart was bursting with the happiness that she felt, she was shaking from it.

Max was about ready to scream for Joshua to come in, to see the good news, but stopped herself suddenly, looking down at him. *No, Alec wouldn't want Joshua or anyone to see him crying. He's probably having a big enough problem having me see it.* Besides, even though she felt sort of guilty for it, this was her moment and she didn't want to share it.

Her hand came to the side of his face, and touched it softly, her mind wondering if her could feel it. Then she realized, she had to talk. Because that was the one thing she knew he could do, listen to her.  
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At first he didn't understand the look on her face, he didn't understand her smile. He had been trying so hard to move, to communicate with her, and so disgusted with himself when he couldn't, that he hadn't felt the tears starting to run down his face. But when her fingertips touched his skin he felt them. For a brief instant, his male pride kicked himself for doing such a thing. But then, he didn't care, because he realized that in some weird way he had accomplished what he wanted, he had given her a sign, a sign that he was there. He hadn't failed her after all.

He listened to her words, she knew, she really knew that he could hear her. He didn't know how to tell her that he could see and feel her as well, but right then it didn't matter. Because at least she knew that she was communicating with him, that he was there. And now, hopefully she wouldn't give up on him. 

Alec felt her hand rest against his face, and then her move and rest her head back on his chest, her mouth at his ear. He could feel her breath slightly at his neck, her arms moving to hold him again, and then she started talking again, her tone serious.  
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"Thank you." She said, and she meant it, she needed that little bit more than he could ever know. She debated in her mind what she should say. What had he heard her say from before? What did the tears actually mean? Was it tears of frustration just not being able to communicate? Or were the tears more? Were the tears because she was crying? 

Now that she knew he could hear her, it was interesting that it brought up a whole new set of problems for her. Because she had no idea what he was thinking now. Was he agreeing with her? Was he disagreeing with her? *Oh God,* She thought, *Does he know what I did?* She pushed the thought out of her mind, they would deal with that when he could talk back to her.

*Should I still tell him that I love him?* She sighed, *What if he doesn't love me back, like Cindy warned me about?* She sighed lightly, remember that he was laying there, waiting for her to say something out loud and not just in her own head. *Well, I've been telling him, and I don't know how longs he's been hearing me, so I might as well continue.*  
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He felt her move closer against him, and then she started to talk again. "Now that I know you can hear me, and I don't know how long you have been able too. I should warn you, I might start repeating myself." She gave a soft laugh.

Alec laughed slightly in his head as well, and he realized he wouldn't mind, not at all. Especially the words that came from her mouth next.

"I love you. That's right, I love you, Alec." 

His heart smiled at her words. Yes, he had heard her before, but then she wasn't sure if he could really hear her. But know that she knew, it meant so much more, it meant she really meant it, wanted him to know. *I love you too, Max.* He thought.

Another soft laugh came from her, "I know how strange that must sound coming from me. From the way I treated you before all this happened, but it's the truth. I realized it after you saved me from White." He heard her sigh. "And before you get all questioning, or whatever. No, I don't love you because you saved me, or that you did again by not telling him where I was. I loved you before that, I just hadn't realized it yet. But what you did, and the reality of losing you, that did open my eyes too it."

*Oh thank God,* He thought at her words, because she had been right, part of him had been thinking that very thing. But he believed her, he could hear the conviction in her words.

He heard a soft sigh from her, and then her voice seemed slightly off. "But I want you to understand, that just because I love you... just because I do... it doesn't mean that...." 

She stopped and Alec's mind raced. *Doesn't mean what?* He asked himself confused. Millions of bad thoughts went through his head, *She loves me, but? But what?* Then he mentally cringed. *Logan, she still loves him, she's IN love with him, and not me. She doesn't mean love the way I thought she did.* His heart started to break, and then her voice started again, catching slightly.

"But that doesn't mean... that you have too. I don't want you to feel like you have too or need to love me back. I don't want you thinking because I'm taking care of you, that you should have to feel like that about me."

His mind raced at her words, *What?* He was momentarily stunned, his thoughts doing a complete one hundred and eighty degree turn. 

"Heck, I'd understand if you still thought I was a bitch, because.... I was a huge one too you. I'm sure that's not just something that can change overnight. I mean... I've done some pretty horrible things to you..."

Alec heard her words trail off, and he mentally cringed. Here he thought she was going to tell him that she loved him like a friend that she depended on but was still in love with Logan. But instead she was tell him that she didn't want him to feel obligated to love her for taking care of him so completely unselfishly, or because she loved him. She had no idea that he was already in love with her before, and that like her he hadn't exactly known, not until that exact second when he made the decision to throw her over that fence.

Here she was worried that because of the way she had acted with him before he would hold it against her. But in fact what she didn't realize was that he loved her because of it. Sure they had fought, and she had called him every name under the sun, but there was more. He loved her spirit, her energy. He loved that she fought with him, seeing the passion behind her eyes, and because of the way she had treated him, he had grown into a better person, and he knew it was because of her. Before it just frustrated him that she wasn't able to see the changes in him, but now....

"Anyway, what I'm saying is... just get used to me saying it, okay. But don't feel like you need to when you finally are able to get those words out okay? Because I'll be happy for asshole remarks." He could feel another small laugh come out of her on that.

He wanted nothing more to just hold her to him, and tell her she didn't have to worry. Because he did love her, and it wasn't for the reasons she was worried about. He sighed, but tried to tell himself, that someday, hopefully soon he would be able to tell her just that.

"I know it's going to take time. I'm okay with that, as long as I know you're in there, I'll wait forever." Her words echoed in his head, and he hoped that she wouldn't have to wait nearly that long.   
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She moved closer to him, and continued. "I hope you don't mind me being here." And then she realized, that he might not know. "Okay, well, since I don't know what all you know, I should tell you. You are here at Joshua's, in your old bedroom. And... well..." She felt slightly embarrassed, "I've been sleeping with you basically every night since I brought you here."

Her mind went though everything that had happened since then, she decided to avoid the little Heat incident. Max's head then realized all the other little things. She swallowed hard, trying to figure out how to approach the topic. "Well, I guess you would love to know that I've seen you naked." She laughed slightly, wondering if he would get a kick out of that or not. She decided to give him a little something, "And I must say... you were right."  
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Alec wanted to laugh at her words, he was so happy that she was now joking with him. He couldn't believe that she had spent the night with him since that first night, but he was happy about it. His mental grin got bigger at her admitting to seeing him naked. *Did she actually say, I was right?*

"Okay, fine... I can already hear your comments. But I don't care, I'll admit it. You're hot. There I said it, you can have a good laugh with it."

He did laugh, but not why she thought he was. It just felt good to know that she actually felt that way, for more than one reason. It was because he then knew she really did think of him that way. But mostly, it was because since he had been able to see her, and know that she was really seeing him like that, her face hadn't given him any idea that she thought that at all. Especially with all the embarrassing things that she had to do for him, the fact that she still found him 'Hot,' helped immensely.   
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Max then realized there was a possibility that he could actually see her, and she blushed. "Oh, and by the way. Since I don't know if you can see or not..." Then she stopped. "Maybe I shouldn't tell you. Because if you can't then I may just be torturing you with the information." She laughed slightly, "I mean, since you always kept wanting me to 'get naked'." She laughed at how many times he had said that.

She decided that it was okay to give him that form of torture, because if he couldn't see her, it might make him try harder. "Well... when I give you a shower... yeah.. a shower." She said in a slight teasing tone, smiling, knowing how much she would love to have this conversation with him, she could just hear what he was thinking. "I take one with you, naked." Her smile grew, "Or did you know that already, cause you can see me?"  
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Her words were making him smile mentally, it was so nice to be able to hear her like this. Teasing and happy, but also something else. Something that she had never done before, she was teasing him sexually, something Max never did. He would usually always bring up that topic of conversation, and she would always shove it down his throat. 

*Oh Max, trust me, I can see you, and it kills me each time.* He thought as the images of her naked, wet, body were perfectly etched into his mind. But her next words caught him off guard.

"If you can see me... I don't mind, I don't mind at all." His mind mentally shuddered at those words, not just because it helped to relieve the slight guilt he had about that, but also because her voice was slightly... lustful. At first he thought he had never heard that tone from her before, but then his head recalled her voice from memory. 

Those times before, when she said she loved him, needed him, and was sorry. Her voice sounded like that, just like it did a moment ago, but even more so. *Much more so.* He thought. His brain remembering his name being screamed, and he wondered if that had really left her lips or if it was still just his imagination. But, the thoughts just didn't make sense, because he didn't understand how it was possible. But his thoughts were cut off, as she began to speak again.

"Which reminds me." She said, and then he saw her move and look back down at him. The look in her eyes had him slightly worried, because that tinge of teasing lust in her voice before was now reflected in her eyes. "I was too tired last night for a shower, so we should take one this morning."

The grin that was on her face made him mentally groan, *Oh God, this is not good.*  
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Max grinned widened, she was so happy, and she stood up, pulling him to his feet as well. A brief thought came to her, that she wasn't being nice, that she was teasing him, playing with him, but she pushed it aside. *No, it will just give him more motivation to come back, either way. If he likes what I'm doing or if he doesn't.* She thought, and started to walk with him towards the bathroom.

Once there, she again sat him back down on top of toilet seat. She turned on the water, and locked the door, then decided to tell him what she was doing. "Okay, first your shirt." She said taking it off.  
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*Oh, no Max. You aren't playing fair at all.* He thought, it was bad enough when she didn't know that he could understand what was happening, but now that she knew... and she was doing it anyway, AND that she was showing off, did not help matters. *This is just... unfair.* He thought as his shirt came off him, and he could hear it being thrown in the corner. Soon he was sitting there naked, as she had explained everything that she had done, all the way down to removing his boxers.

But he wasn't prepared what she was going to do next. "Okay, now me." His mind spun, *Oh, God... no. Please... no.* He saw the teasing look on her face, and realized it was going to happen, he was going to get the best show of his life, and it was also going to be told to him as well.

She stood right in front of him, moved his head slightly, "Just in case you can see me," She said with a slight wink. *Oh, she is NOT playing fair at all.*

He watched her hands move to her shirt, "Okay, I'm taking off my shirt." She said and then threw it with the other clothes. "Well.. since I have nothing else on up top..." She said with a slight laugh, and his mind groaned, as it always did at the sight. "I guess I'll move onto the only other article of clothing I'm wearing, a pair of your boxer shorts." She said as she leaned over and slowly lowered them down her hips and legs. The way she moved, he could tell she was trying to tease him, and when the fabric was out of sight, she moved in front of him, then pulled him to his feet. "Well, if you can see me, I guess we're even." She said with a smile.

Alec felt her arm move around him, and pull him into the shower. The warm, hot water moving over his skin felt amazing, he had forgotten how wonderful it felt. But then he saw Max pick up the towel, *Oh, no.* Before he had only saw what she was doing, but now... now he was going to be able to feel it. Her hands came to his chest, and started to clean him again, like she used to. 

"I'm washing your chest with soap and washcloth," he knew that, but the words just added to the feelings running through him, as he felt her hands and the cloth move over his wet bare skin. Watched her hair get wet from the water, the drops moving down her body. 

Her eyes never left the area that she was washing, he noticed, seeing her intent on the task. His mind felt like it was going into sensory overload. The sound of her voice, the images of her, the feel of her hands, the feel of the hot water, it was intense, and *Fucking irritating!* He mentally screamed, because all he wanted to do was push her up against the shower wall and plunge himself inside of her, feel her around him, as the water sprayed down onto their bodies. 

He could feel her hands reach around him, to wash his back, and her bare breasts brushed up against his chest, her thigh moved against his, and he was mentally gasping for air. But then he was instantly brought back to reality by a small gasp from her. Her eyes got wide, and for a minute he was wondering why, until her body pressed more firmly against him, and his mind groaned, as pleasure shot through his system. Then he felt her hand move from his back, down his front, and then wrap around him, and his whole body jerked in response.   
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Max was in a state of shock, as her hand held his hard, stiff, erection, and she felt his body shudder against her slightly when she had squeezed him slightly. Her heart rate was going a mile a minute, and she wasn't sure what to do. Part of her told her it was a physical reaction, the other part of her told her that he was really turned on, and wanted her. She looked up into his eyes, "Alec... I'm ... not sure what to do." She told him honestly.


	17. Chapter 17

Max didn't know what to do, she was completely torn, and her mind was being bombarded with tons of thoughts and questions, while her body was still pressed against his, and her fingers were intimately wrapped around his hard shaft. She looked into his eyes, hoping to somehow be able to read his thoughts. What exactly did this mean?

She knew he could hear her, and she knew that she had been teasing him by what she had been saying, but she doubted that those words and his own thoughts alone would do this to Alec. He wasn't just some hormone crazed little boy. And she had felt his body jerk in response to her hand, which meant he could feel her. Would hearing her and feeling her be enough? If he was just turned on from those things, then... that was one thing, and she should stop right now. *Because if that's the case, he's probably embarrassed by it.* And she still had no idea if he could see her or not, but if he could, it would even add more to the possibility.

Her mind then shifted gears quickly, *But what if it's more than that? What if it's more than him just being turned on, what if he really does want me? Even if he's not in love with me, he might still want me.* Her mind thought of all the times he made comments about her, joked about getting in her pants, and being with her. *Was he joking or was he serious?* 

*No, the only question is what he wants right now. Does he want me, this, now?* She continued looking in his eyes, trying to find the answer to her question. *But, should I, even if he does?*

Her mind flashed back to her Heat, and she mentally winced. *Did he know? And would this be using him again?* All these thoughts rumbled around in her head, in a brief few seconds. Her other hand moved to the side of his face. "Alec, I need some clue from you to know how to proceed." She told him, hoping that he could.  
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His brain could barely hear her as he realized exactly what happened, and she was making it more difficult to comprehend what she was saying as she was grasping him in her hand, shoot waves of bliss though his body. His mind slowly processed the words, and his eyes looked at her questioning face. She was worried that he didn't really want her, but that he was just reacting to her touch. *Oh God Max, I want you. I just...* 

Part of him wanted her to do something, and soon, because she was driving him nuts. But another part of him was reluctant, because he wasn't exactly in the state where he could really do anything, it would again be her giving to him, and he wasn't really comfortable with that idea. But when she lightly squeezed him again, most of those thoughts flew out of his brain. 

"I don't want to do something you really don't want, or we'll regret later." He heard her say the words, and felt her hand on his face. "I want you, but I ... I want to make sure you really want this too."

*Oh god, she wants me.* His brain was doing flips, *I want you too, Max. I want this, more than you could know.* But he had no idea how to tell her that.   
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As she looked up at him, she knew he wasn't able to answer her, and she was going to have to make a decision for both of them, and soon, because it was torture on both of them to just sit here waiting. She tried to rationally analyze the situation, even though it was getting difficult to do so. Her heart rate was up, her breathing was slightly off, and her body was already starting to tingle with desire that was being wrapped around her, feeling him against her. 

The more she thought about it, the more she wanted it, the more that she need it. And her brain was beginning to tell her that it was a good idea, it was rationalizing why it was a good idea, trying to outweigh any bad things that there could be. It told her it would help him, it was good therapy. It told her that he did want it, evidence of that was pulsing in her hand. It told her that now that he could feel it, she could sort of make up 'before' to him. It told her to damn the consequences and just go for it.  
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When her hand left him, and then he felt them at his shoulders, and her pulling away, the mental breath he had been holding was let out in a sigh. She was stopping it, he didn't blame her, but he had to admit that he was extremely disappointed, and frustrated. *Extremely frustrated.*

But she surprised him, as he felt himself being lowered into the tub, *What the?* He thought for a minute, as he felt her settle him down, and leaned him back against the tub. Then he watched her put the plug in the drain, and switch the water to flow into the tub and turn the shower off. He mentally swallowed as he realized just what was on her mind, and what was going to happen, because he was sure, he wasn't just going to be getting a bath.

Alec watched her move back over to him, facing him, as she settled over him, her legs straddling him. She leaned forward, pressing her chest against him, and his brain gasped feeling his hard length pressed between their two bodies. Her hands came to the sides of his face, and his eyes looked into hers, seeing the desire and passion in them. 

"I hope I'm doing the right thing. If I'm not, I hope you can forgive me." 

He wanted to be able to tell her, he could forgive her of anything at that moment. Her arms moved around him, and her body moved against his, causing his mind to groan again at the feeling. Her fingers moved their way into the hair at the back of his neck, over his bar code. And then her lips moved to his, and she was kissing him. Soft at first, gentle, and then she was increasing the pressure. 

It killed him not to be able to kiss her back, pull her head closer to his mouth with his hands in her hair, to move his lips against hers. But the feeling was still indescribable. Her soft lips trailing over his. Then her tongue found it's way in, and he was swimming in her taste, and his senses intensified. As he realized that another one of his senses was starting to work, but that thought faded into his memory, as she moved against him one more time, and his ears heard her groan against him.

*Oh, God Max.* He thought, *Don't ever stop kissing me.* His mind reeling from the taste and feel, the passion he felt from it. Only wishing he could respond more too it. But then, she stopped, and he wanted to protest until he felt her lips start to trail down his cheek, and his neck.

Her mouth was kissing, and licking at his skin. She left a tail up to his ear, slightly bit at his ear lobe, and her seductive voice rang in his ear.  
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"Alec, I want you." She said, and then she felt it, a small shudder pass though him. Her heart leapt, and she pulled him tighter against her, grinding her hips at him, making herself moan slightly from the feel of him against her hip. She moved her one hand down his chest, and moved between them, her fingers moving around him again, she moved her hand over him a few times, watching his body react to it. The movements were small, but they were there. 

Max felt the want and need move through her, washing over her, more and more as she touched him, felt him, and then she couldn't take it anymore. She moved slightly away from him, then moved over him.  
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Alec felt her hand moving, and then watched her move. *Oh God,* He thought, knowing what was going to happen, and then he felt it. He felt the tip of himself brush against her. He felt her hot, wetness graze against him, and his body jerked slightly up at her. Then he felt her lower herself down over him, and his mind almost shut down at the feeling, she was taking her sweet time, and his mind was swimming. She was hot, and tight around him and his hips jerked again slightly as he felt himself move into her fully. *Oh, Max.*

His eyes watched her head fall back, eyes closed, mouth slightly open, and he couldn't imagine a more beautiful sight, or a more wonderful sound than the moan that came from those lips. She then moved forward, picking up his hands, and moving them to rest on her hips. Then her hands moved back up to his shoulders, and she gripped them for support. 

He thought he was in heaven, until she started to move her hips, and then he realized what true heaven was. With each movement he was mentally gasping for breath. He felt her move over him, long, slow deliberate movement, that he was sure she was doing to drive him crazy. She was staring him in the eyes, her eyes shutting and a moan coming from her mouth when she moved back down on him. 

Part of his mind could not believe that this was happening, but the thought evaporated as she started to move faster on top of him. Her body moving up and down, up and down, sending blinding waves ot hot pleasure through his body at every drop. His hips involuntarily jerking up at her slightly, trying to stay with her.   
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She felt his body responding to her, and it kept her going. The feeling of him inside of her, filling her, was pushing her on as well. She moved faster, as she could feel the build up growing inside her, her body becoming tense. "Oh, God," He mouth let out, as she moved quicker, harder against him. She moved closer to him, her arms moving around him, bringing his upper body against hers. Her breasts pressing up against his chest. Her mouth came down to his, kissing him again, her tongue moving into his mouth.  
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He could feel her hard nipples crushed against his chest, her lips attacking his, her heated core engulfing him, and he was swimming, his body was tensing, he was trying to hold back. His newly recovered senses were in overload, at the intensity of the pleasure that she was pushing his body through. 

*Oh God.* His his mind kept saying, over and over, as she kept moving, hearing her whimpers and moans, as she moved. He was trying to hold back, and then he felt it, he felt her muscles grip him, hard. And he let go, his hips again jerking up at her, and he was falling, falling over the edge, his body exploding inside of her, and his brain barely registered her scream.

"ALECCCCC!"

His mind flashed in memory at the scream, and then it drifted away from the thought as he felt the two of them collapsed back against the tub, with her head against his chest. Her warm breath moving over his skin, her arms wrapped tightly around him. Her shuddering form clinging to his. He wanted nothing more then to be able to wrap his arms around her and hold her tightly. 

It seemed like his wish was partially granted when he felt her arms move his around her, Max obviously wanting the same thing. And her next words, broke his heart slightly. "I love you." He heard her say softly. *I love you too, Max.* He thought, screaming slightly at himself that he wanted to be able to tell her. 

He felt her arms squeeze his body slightly, hugging his form to her, felt himself still intimately connected with her, felt her breathing and heart rate slowly return to normal, his as well. His mind reveled in the fact that he had just made love to Max, *Well, she had made love to me.* He thought with a sigh. And that was what it was to him, it wasn't just sex, and he hoped she knew that.   
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Max rested her cheek against his chest, trying to get her bearings back. She couldn't believe what had just happened. He had responded to her, to her completely. His hips had been moving, his body reacting to her movements, to her touch, to her words. She had already been sent over the edge when she felt him climax inside of her, but the feeling sent her spiraling even further. A sense of relief and happiness at that fact washing over her. 

She realized how different this time was from last. Causing her to believe that he might not know about the other time. Also, it had her realize just how much progress he was making. Sure, all his responses were uncontrolled responses, basically unconscious reactions to stimuli. But the stimuli was mental, something was connecting his mind and his body, that meant the rest would come in time. 

She sat up slowly, and moaned slightly, still feeling him inside of her. Then she looked him back in his eyes, nothing in them had changed, but, she had this feeling. "Why do I just have this belief that you can see me?" She asked him. Her fingertips went back to his face, and she leaned in and gave him a small kiss. Max wished he would be able to return it, *Soon.* She thought, and prayed it would be true.

Taking a deep breath, she moved herself off him with a sigh, got up and unplugged the drain. "Let's get out of here, before we get all pruney." She said with a smile, then got him out of the tub, and back on his feet. She wrapped a towel around herself, and then one around his waist. "Okay, let's get back to the bedroom." She told him, and wrapped her arm around him, again moving him back to his room. 

Once there, she sat him on the bed, and shut the door behind her. She moved over to him, pulling the towel from him, drying his hair slightly, and his back, then laid him back on the bed. She quickly wrung out the water she could from her hair, and climbed in bed next to him, pulling the sheet up over them. She giggled slightly, *I wonder if Alec's a snuggler or not.* She thought, as she rolled him over onto his side to face her, her one leg went over his, and she wrapped is one arm around her, resting her forehead against his.   
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He couldn't believe it, here he was unable to basically move or communicate with her, but she was making it seem like they were together, holding each other, in the afterglow. It was almost comical, but at the same time, he loved it. He got to stare into her chocolate brown eyes, see her smiling face, feel her body pressed up against his, feel his arm around her. 

*Now if I can just tell her what I feel.* He thought. 

"You probably want to go to sleep don't you?" She had asked him, "Most men usually want too. Well too bad," he heard her laugh. And he laughed in his head as well. *I'm not most men.* He thought, and cursed himself for not being able to show her that right then. Because he was sure he would be able to wipe that smirk off her face.  
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Max laid there against him, and couldn't believe it. For the first time, since she had lost him, since she had brought him home, she truly felt hopeful, happy even. She felt like he was coming back to her, coming out of his shell that he had made. *It could also have to do with what just happened.* Her mind told her, and she almost laughed. It was true, the pleasure from the experience was still washing through her system, making her almost giddy. 

She moved closer against him, comforted in the warmth that his body gave her, and then a thought made her straighten up quickly, "Oh my God, Joshua!"  
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Alec felt her tense all of a sudden and pull away, and he got worried, and then her words confused him, *Joshua? What the?* He didn't understand.

"I have to tell him!"

*Tell him? What? Why? Why do you have to tell him we just had sex?* He as really confused, and stunned actually, that she was even considering such a thing.

"I have to tell him you're getting better. I've known all morning, and it's..." He saw her turn away, and then back to him, "Afternoon. He's probably also wondering why I haven't gotten up yet." He let out his mental breath, glad he finally understood what she meant, and then he got worried again, as he watched her eyes get bigger. "Oh, no... what if he heard..."

Alec wanted to laugh at the look on her face, it was priceless. Here he was worried she was going to tell Joshua, and now she was worried that Joshua had heard her scream his name. *God, I loved hearing that...* Then his mind trailed off, another memory flashing in his head again. It was the same voice, the same scream that he remembered from before, he was sure of it now. *But how is that possible?* 

"I'll be back, I'm going to talk to Joshua, okay?" She said and kissed his lips lightly. He felt her roll him on his back, and then get out of bed, heard her moving around the room, he assumed looking for clothes to get dressed. But he wasn't really paying much attention as he was trying to figure it out.

"Be back soon." He heard her say and the door open. His head still contemplating the thoughts. Then his mind flashed him more thoughts and memories, and then it was in his head, he remembered, he remembered the smell of pheromones.


	18. Chapter 18

*No, no... no.* He thought, but the memory was becoming clearer and clearer, her voice and that smell. Her remembered the smell of pheromones, remembered thinking it was some trick of White's to get him to open up, but now he realized that wasn't it. His mind tried to processes the information that he knew along with this added memory. *Max had went into Heat taking care of me.* The reality starting to truly hit him. He knew what X5 female pheromones did to X5 males, he knew what the effect of Heat did to both sexes, they had explained it to all the X5's back at Manticore.

Alec knew what they smelled like because of that one incident where a female member of his squad had went into Heat a few days early. Once they found out she was quickly segregated from the group as usual, but not before almost every male member of the group had to be admitted to the infirmary, because they had fought over who was going to be her mate.

His mind continued to processes it, and realized that what he had heard was actually quite possible, and then his mind knew that it happened. Knew that Max had went into heat, knew that she had been with him, and knew that she and screamed out his name when she had sex with him. Her 'I'm sorry,' now making sense in his head, *Sorry?* He thought, *She's sorry?* 

He didn't know what to think or feel. The rational part of him was telling him that she was in Heat, that she couldn't really control her reactions to it, just like he couldn't control his reaction to her. That she was sorry for it. That she probably had no idea what Heat even did to X5 males since she had escaped before their sex education classes. That if she had come to him in need when he was wake, he would have done anything for her. But that rational side wasn't winning the battle that was ragging in his head. 

Because the other side was tossed between a huge array of emotions. From hurt to full blown anger. From the thoughts of being just down right used. To the thoughts that her views about him made her think that he just wouldn't care if she had sex with him without his knowledge. Granted he had thoughts, dreams, of waking up to her, her on top of him, enjoying herself immensely, but in those dreams he had always woken up, he had always known, and he was able to stop her if he wanted too. 

Then he got angrier as he thought to earlier, just a few minutes ago. Here he thought they were making love for the first time, that it was something special for both of them. And the truth was, it wasn't, it was nothing new to her at all. And she hadn't told him, she didn't know what he remembered or didn't, and she never told him. Was she ever going to tell him? Be honest with him? He wanted to hit something, *Damn it Max!* He thought.

The rational part of him was telling him she was sorry, that she had said that, that she was probably feeling guilty about it, and wanted to wait and tell him, when she could actually talk to him. But the other side didn't want to hear it. *No, no. She still thinks of me as the person that will just sleep with any girl that comes around. So why not relieve the tension, with good ol' Alec, he won't mind.*

His mind was still battling back and forth when he heard her come back into the room. "I'm back." She said, crawling back into bed with him. He mentally tensed feeling her arms go around him, and her resting her head back on his chest, sighing in content. But all he wanted to do at that moment was push her away, he didn't want to touch her, he didn't want her to touch him. 

"I talked to Joshua, he's happy that you are doing better. He got this huge smile on his face. I told him, that we would be out to see him in a little while." Alec heard her, he had no choice, and he had no choice but to look at her when she moved his head to look towards her. She laughed slightly, and his brain raged at how innocent she looked at him, as if nothing was wrong in the world, that everything was perfect. 

"He didn't hear me scream." She said, "At least I don't 'think' he did, he said he was out in the backyard most of the morning."

Alec wanted to shove the hand that was lightly moving over his chest away from him. *How can she just lay there and look at me like that?* He asked himself. Not sure if he was more upset that it happened, or that she wasn't telling him that it happened. Didn't he at least have a right to know, especially with what they had just done? Didn't she at least feel a little bad about it?

Then he felt her move again, and sit up, "Okay, I guess we better get up and dressed for the day." She said, pulling him up to sit on the bed. He didn't want this, he wanted to be alone, he didn't want to be around her, not right now. She was too happy and cheerful, acting as if nothing was wrong. It didn't go well with how he was feeling.

He heard her rummaging around, and came back with a shirt, and lowered it over his head. He was so frustrated he wanted to pull the shirt away from her, and put it on himself. *Did she just think that she could take what she wanted from him, since she was doing so much for him? Was that it?* 

His logical mind was still nagging at him in the background, but he pushed it away, as she moved him back onto his back to put on his boxers and pants. Obviously not needing to tell him what she was doing, since she now knew he could feel the actions. He was then pulled back into a sitting position, and came face to face with her again. Her smile, making the hurt and anger that was starting to boil in his blood start to run over. 

His frustration growing more so at not being able to confront her about it, yell at her, or at least make her admit to it. *Make her admit that she used me.* His anger actually blurring his eyesight, *Oh, but she probably doesn't think that she did. It is 'me' after all.* And then he realized, that was the real reason he was so upset. Not that she had done it, not that it had happened, but that it didn't seem to bother her. That she seemed to think that it was okay, that it wouldn't make him upset, that she had that opinion about him.

Then he watched her lean in, and wanted to pull back, but couldn't as her mouth touched his lips in a gentle kiss. Her fingers lightly moving over the side of his face, "Okay, let's get out of here." She said, pulling him to his feet. His urge to wipe his mouth, to pull away from her strong, but of no use. That little part of his mind, tried to get him to see that she loved him, that she cared about him, that she was doing all this for him, that she had been in Heat. That she wasn't entirely responsible for her actions. But the furious part said it was no excuse, no excuse, especially not to tell him. 

*She should have told me, told me before we did what we just did. I had a right to know!* He yelled at himself, but he wanted to yell it at her. Soon they were in the living room, and she was sitting him down on the couch. He could hear Joshua walk over and then sit on the coffee table in font of him.

"Hey Medium Fella." He said with a large smile on his face. Alec was relieved to see his face and not hers for a moment, and tried to rein in his emotions, so that he could at least listen to what he had to say. "Max says you can hear me, more than likely see too." Alec mentally tensed at the sound of her name, but tried to push it away.

Joshua's smile grew, "Which is good. I can show you the paintings I have done!" He said excitedly. He felt Max sit down next to him, and rest her head on his shoulder. He mentally cringed. A little while ago, he would have liked it, but right now, he just didn't want to be near her. But what choice did he have?  
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"I'm sure he would love to see your paintings Big Fella." She said, and patted his leg. "Wouldn't you Alec?" She asked him, not really expecting an answer. She smiled at Joshua, "Hey, how about a little show? You want to show us them, and tell us what they are?" She saw his face light up, and her smile grew.

"Okay!" He said jumping up, and moving quickly over to the canvasses he had lined up, looking through them, arranging them, obviously putting them in some order he wanted to show them in. She almost laughed at how seriously he was taking the idea. She leaned over and whispered into Alec's ear. "He's enjoying this a lot. Get ready for a treat." She said, then added, "He's very happy about your progress, and so will everyone else." She said, her hand rubbing his leg lightly, "So am I," She added.

When she looked back up, she saw Joshua staring at her, giving her a strange look, one that he had sort of given her earlier, but she had written off. She assumed before it was because she wasn't completely forthcoming as to the way she knew that Alec was making so much progress. But now, she had her doubts. She saw the canvas he held behind his back, just like a little kid bringing home an art project for his parents to see, and she almost giggled at the thought. "Okay, let's see it."

He brought the canvas in front of them, and she smiled. It was the one she had seen him working on before, of the three of them. This time it didn't make her sad to see the smile on Alec's face in the picture, because she knew he was slowly coming out of his shell. "It's beautiful Joshua." She said, and leaned back over to Alec, "It's of the three of us, just in case you can't see it."  
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He could see it all right, and it was very good. Joshua was very good, and he liked that he had moved away from the complete abstract paintings he first did. Alec liked art to look like something, but then again, he was no art critic. He saw the three of them in the painting, all smiling, and happy. *Yeah, right.* He thought cynically. *When have the three of us ever looked like that?* And he couldn't convince himself at that moment that they ever would.  
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Joshua went to get another painting, and Max wrapped her arm around Alec's chest, hugging him slightly. "This feels good." She told him, the happiness that she had still flowing through her body. But she became uneasy again when Joshua came back, giving her the same look. Finally she gave up, sat up, and looked at him, "Joshua, what is it?"

"What is what?" He asked her.

"That look... you keep giving me this strange look. Why?" He looked like he was trying to dodge the subject. "Come on, what is it? You can tell me? Did I do something wrong?"

"Joshua just confused."

She gave him a strange look, "Confused about what?"

"You're dream this morning."

Now she really had no idea what he was talking about, "Dream?"

"Yeah, dream. But.... Little Fella not in heat." He said pointing to his nose. 

Her head spun, and then she got it. *Oh my God! He did hear me this morning, but he thinks I was dreaming.* Her cheeks were starting to turn read in embarrassment. *He thinks I was having a Heat dream.* Then his next words floored her.

"Not like the dream the time before."

It was like her worst fears were coming true, not only had he heard her this morning, her heard her before. *Thank God, he things I was just dreaming.* And then her mind spun, and she looked over at Alec setting next to her, realizing that he was hearing the same thing she was. She stood up quickly, "Joshua..."

He smiled down at her, "No need to be embarrassed Little Fella. Joshua knows about them, Joshua knows your feelings about Alec." 

She put her face in her hands. *This is not happening.* She thought, and then looked back over at Alec. He wasn't stupid, not at all. He knew what they did this morning, he knew she screamed his name, he was bound to put two and two together. *Oh God, I'm not ready for this right now.* She knew she had to talk to him, talk to him before he completely figured it out on his own... because if he did... *I don't want to think about it.* She thought, and then looked back up at Joshua. Trying to figure out what to tell him. "Yeah, Josh, it was a dream, just not from Heat." She finally said, she didn't really lie. *It was just like a dream come true.*

Max thought for a minute, "Umm, actually, it's getting later, and we haven't had breakfast or lunch yet, do you mind if we continue this later?" She asked him, and he said no. He informed her that he already ate, and then he went back out to the backyard, were he had actually planted a small garden. He was growing vegetables for some of the new recipes he was making.

She looked back over at the couch, and sat down next to Alec, and then moved him so that they were sitting face to face. She took a deep breath, closed her eyes, and tried to will herself to speak. This was the hardest thing she ever had to do, and the worst part, was that when she told him, there was no way for her to understand how he felt about it.


	19. Chapter 19

Alec looked at Max's face, her eyes closed, her face contorting as she was thinking. He sat there, waiting, but already knowing what was coming. *Oh what is it Max, trying to figure out how to tell me the truth? Finally? Joshua forcing you to tell me the truth?*

That rational, logical side yelled at him for being so happy that she was having a hard time with it, but he just kicked it away. *She deserves this, and a whole lot more.* He thought, anger still flowing through him, wanting her to feel more than just embarrassment from the situation. *I'm waiting Max. Let's see how you explain this to me.*.  
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Max sat there, looked at him, and then looked down, there was no way she could look him in the eyes as she said this. She closed her eyes, and put her face into her hands. "Alec, please, before you start thinking too much about what Joshua said, please let me try and explain." She sighed, "I sooooo didn't want to tell you like this. I wanted to wait, I wanted to wait until I could actually talk to you. Have you able to talk to me." She removed her hands from her face, glanced at him for a minute, then looked back down at the couch between them.

She didn't want to tell him, but she knew she had too, she knew that he might have already figured it out, and if he didn't he was going to. All her feelings of what she had done were coming back to her, and a tear rolled down her cheek, "Oh, God, how do I even begin?" She asked, her head looking back up at the ceiling. "How do I start?" She couldn't think of anything, "Alec, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."  
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His eyes watched her, his ears heard her, and his mind tried to push away the feelings to pull her to him and hold her. He could see the pain and hurt on her face, and part of him realized that she was tormented by what happened. But the part of him that was hurt and angry didn't want to listen to the other part of him. His anger was happy with her pain, it was happy that she was hurting for what she did. 

*She's sorry. So what? That just doesn't make everything all better. She wanted to wait till I could talk to her? So? What if I never can? Then she would never tell me? Just continue on as if nothing happened?*  
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Max struggled with her words, her hands were shaking slightly. She wanted to reach out and touch him, but she couldn't, not telling him this. Her mouth finally started to form words, and she let her self start rambling. "Not long after I found you..... I ... I went into Heat. I wasn't sure what to do exactly, I knew what I felt, but... I mean... I had two options really. Stay or Leave." She took a breath, "I talked to Cindy about it, I talk to her about everything. We thought it would be best for me to stay, that it would be safer, heck... you were comatose, right, nothing could happen." She sighed, *Boy were we wrong.* She thought to herself, her hands going back to cover her face again.

She took a deep breath, "And I didn't want to leave, I didn't want to do something I would regret.... but now... now it might have been a better idea. But I stayed, I had Joshua take care of you, I stayed away. I did my pushups and cold showers, it was almost over, I almost beat it, almost." She stopped, remembering what happened. She shook her head trying to clear it, go on, her voice cracked slightly.   
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He listened to her, he saw her trying to hide from him, he saw her tears, her slumped shoulders, he heard her anguished voice. He tried not too, he tried not to listen to his rational side. The side that told him to see how much pain and anguish she was in, how bad she felt about it, that she really was going to tell him, but at the right time. Tried to tell him all the logical explanations for her acts, that she never wanted to hurt him, use him. 

But Alec didn't want to hear that side now, any more than he did before, he was still hurt, he was still upset, he still felt used, and he couldn't help it. He couldn't help his anger and hurt anymore than she could help the guilt that she felt. *Guilt.* He pushed that thought away, not wanting to think that she actually felt guilty, because it made it harder to be angry with her, and *Damn it! I want to be angry, I have a right to be!*  
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"Damn it... if it wasn't for that fucking towel!" She yelled slightly. "Joshua left a towel on the sink that he used on you. I used it after one of my showers... it had... it had your scent." She said, assuming he would know, he would understand the effects it would have, assuming Manticore had told them all about Heat. "I tried, I tried to just go back to my room, but I couldn't. I needed to see you, to check on you. I told myself it would be okay, I mean nothing could happen, right? I would just be torturing myself, nothing else."

She removed her hands from her face, her eyes looked at his again, and she wondered what he was thinking, what he was feeling, she looked away again. She took another deep breath. "I went to see you, and... oh God, Alec... I walked in the room, and you invaded my senses." She stopped quickly, she was making it sound like it was his fault, and she backtracked slightly. "That doesn't mean that it your fault, it doesn't mean that it wasn't mine. It was my fault, completely and totally. I should have controlled myself, I should have left. But I didn't..."  
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*Damn straight it wasn't my fault. I wasn't even awake.* He thought. Alec continued to watch her, she looked completely dejected, miserable, and guilty. His angry side was thrilled, but the other side, the other side was mad at himself for feeling that way. It tried to remind him, that he loved her, and that she was hurting too. It tried to remind him everything that he knew about Heat, about the effects it had on a X5. It tried to remind him that Manticore hadn't even explained how emotions would tie into everything as well, heck they probably didn't even know. It tried to remind him that she loved him, that she wanted him, before she had went into heat.

*Shut up!* He yelled to himself. He didn't need his own mind making arguments for her, she could try and make her own. Max had to get herself out of her own mess this time, and he wasn't going to help her with this one.  
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"I... I went to you, I held you, I... smelled you." She stopped, "God Alec... I had no clue, I had no idea. I didn't know until then, I never thought about it. I was never around other X's when I went into heat. I didn't know I would affect you, and I did. Well.. my pheromones did. I know it's not an excuse, I know I should have left when I figured it out... Part of me knew then that it was just a physical response. That part knew it wasn't you, but I didn't want to listen to it, I didn't want to pay attention to it. I wanted you, I needed you...." She let herself trail off, and she leaned over more, resting her elbows on her knees, her face in her hands again. 

Max just wanted to hide from him, hide away from the problem, but she knew she couldn't. She couldn't hide any longer. She willed up her courage, looked up into his eyes, and finally said it, admitted it. "I had sex with you, without your permission, I used your for my own benefit, and I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." She looked quickly away, and tears spilled down her face. "I was so wrong, and I don't blame you if you hate me. I don't blame you for however you feel about me."

Her shoulders shook slightly, as more tears came. "But you have to believe me," she said looking back up at him with a tear streaked face, "I never meant to hurt you. I never meant for it to happen. I love you, so much. And... oh, God Alec, I'm sorry."  
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He didn't want to look at her, but he was forced too, he was forced to look at her tear stained face, he was forced to hear her anguished words. *This isn't fair.* He thought, *She can't make me feel bad for what she did.* But she was. The anguish and guilt and pain that she felt for what she had done, her words were starting to invade him, no matter how hard he was trying to push them away.

*Damn it! Why am I so weak when it come to her?* He questioned himself, but he already knew the answer, he loved her. But he was still angry, he was still hurt, but the rational side of him was starting to make him understand. It was starting to make him understand her side, and he wanted to hit something because he still didn't want to understand.  
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Max had stopped talking for a little while, letting her words sink into both of their minds. Hers was trying to figure out what he was thinking, what he was feeling. She didn't know what else to say, what else she should say. But she knew she had to say something. "Afterwards... I didn't know what to do. I felt horrible about it... I knew I couldn't stay, I wanted to stay with you, but I knew I couldn't. I knew I would just keep affecting you. I opened a window to clear the room, I left. I took a shower." 

She stopped quickly, realizing how it sounded. "Not to get you off me, not to erase what happened, but... I felt dirty. I felt so ashamed for what I did." She moved her face to look at a random spot on the wall, another tear running down her cheek, her hand came up quickly to brush it away.

"And then I couldn't even look at you, I still had Josh taking care of you, because I couldn't be near you. It was selfish, but every time I saw you, it just reminded me of what I did." She shook her head. "I'm sorry, but I told Cindy." She had no clue how he would feel about that, about her talking to OC about them, but she had to be truthful. 

"She tried to tell me you would understand." She laughed slightly, "Yeah, right. I didn't understand how I could do it, how am I supposed to expect you too." She sighed, "But she was right about one thing, I had to put my feelings aside, and help you. That you still needed me, so that you could get better. So we could deal with this later. And that's what I did. That's what I tried to do, push it away. But don't think that I just forgot about it, I can't. I don't think I'll ever forgive myself."   
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*Stop. Max. Just Stop.* He thought, *I don't want to hear anymore.* Alec didn't want to hear her words, her pain, or her guilt. He didn't want to feel bad for her. He didn't want to understand her side. He didn't want to forgive her. But he was starting too.

He wanted to be able to talk to her, to communicate with her. He wanted to yell, he wanted to scream, heck he wanted to throw things. But he knew, even with all his hurt and rage, he knew that if he could, that's not what he would do. Because he was weak, he was weak when it came to her. He knew that if he could talk to her, he would tell her he understood. That things would be okay. And that even though he was upset, even though he was hurt, he still loved her.

He saw her look up at him, a small amount of fear in her eyes. And he realized what it was, she feared that she had lost him. She feared that what she had done would make him hate her, and that thought tore at his heart even more. *God, how can I let her do this to me so easily?*  
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Max looked at him, hoping that somehow she could see what he was feeling, but the same expression as always looked back at her. She sighed, and then her thoughts of this morning came back to her and she wanted to curl up into a little ball. "Alec.... this morning..." She stopped, she didn't know what to say. She thought for a few seconds, "I just... I just hope, I pray that you wanted it as much as I did. That is meant to you at least a fraction of what it meant to me." 

She slowly reached out, and took his hand, hoping that he wasn't wishing he could pull it away. "Just know, that I was... I was making love to you. That, it wasn't just sex for me. If it was for you, that's okay. Really." She meant it. She really meant that. If it was just sex for him, she could live with it. It wouldn't make her happy of course, but she would be okay with it. "But... if it was more to you too.. I just hope that what I just told you... I just hope I didn't ruin everything. But if it did." Another tear slipped down her face, and she choked slightly on the words, "I'd understand that too, I'd understand if you'd hate me for it."  
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Alec sighed in his head, *I don't hate you, Max. I could never hate you.* He watched the tear slip down her face, and wanted to brush it away. Then he realized that rational side of him had won. He knew the issue would be there, would stay there until they could talk about it. He knew he still had anger and hurt. But right then he didn't want to think about it. 

He knew right then, even though all of this, they still needed each other. They needed to be able to deal with it together, and he just wished that they could wrap their arms around each other, and just not think about it. Give their support to each other, that they each so desperately needed. 

Her eyes were starting into his, and he knew she was looking for some type of sign, something that told her what he felt. And her words confirmed it. "Not being able to communicate makes this so hard. I wish you could just yell at me. At least then I would know how you are feeling. How am I supposed to go on day to day without knowing if you hate me or not? I mean, if you do, I'm sure you don't want me to take care of you." 

She looked down again, and he sighed. *Max, I have no idea how to tell you how I feel. I've tried so hard to reach out to you, but nothing works. Nothing I can do consciously anyway.* He thought, and knew that even if he could cry again, it wouldn't help because they could be interpreted in too many different ways. 

He felt her holding onto his hand, and he concentrated again, like he had tried to before, tried to concentrate on just moving something. He wasn't sure what moving a finger would exactly signify to her, but the thought that if he could do it, at least then it might trigger this brain, allow him to finally be able to move again at least. Then if he could move, maybe he could then get his vocal cords to work. 

He pushed his other senses away, concentrating on his sense of touch, on his hand. Trying to move it, trying to envision himself doing what he wanted his hand to do. *How can moving one finger be so damn difficult.* He yelled at himself in frustration. He tried harder, focusing all this thoughts, everything on just that one thing. Concentrating so hard, his eyes loosing focus on her, his ears blocking her out.   
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Max sighed, realizing that she was just going to have to go on, on without knowing what he felt. "Well, I guess I won't know." She said, and then looked around. She knew she couldn't dwell on this. She wiped her face with her other hand, then looked at the kitchen. She had told Joshua that they needed to eat, and they did. "I'm going to get us lunch." She said releasing his hand, never seeing it trying to grip hers at it fell back to the couch, and she moved into the kitchen.


	20. Chapter 20

Alec felt his grip tighten, but this is hopes sank as he realized her gripped nothing but air. His vision cleared as he lost his focus, she was gone. He had concentrated so hard on his task he hadn't heard her leave. His ears picked up sounds in the kitchen, and he figured she left to get them food. He sighed mentally, *Damn it.* He yelled at himself.

He was mentally cussing himself out, angry that he missed her, missed her by a few seconds. But then his brain froze, *Wait a minute, I still did it!* He thought, *I still moved on my own.* Max may not have felt it, or seen it, but he had done it. It had taken a whole lot of thought and effort, but he had still done it.

*Can I do it again?* He thought, he hoped so. Only thing was, that little bit had already tired him out. He decided to rest for a moment, wait for her to come back, and then try again. Soon he heard the cupboard doors closing and footsteps coming back in the room. He heard a plate and some other things being set down on the coffee table. Then heard the sound of a can of pop being opened. 

Then Max came into view. His thoughts from before, his anger, his hurt, and everything about what she had told him, was pushed to the back of his brain, because of his new found ability. *Well, hopefully it wasn't just a fluke.* He thought, as he watched her open up one of the jars.

He sighed, he didn't want to eat right now, couldn't she tell there were more important things going on? He knew she didn't, she had no way of knowing, and she was just trying to take care of him. 

"Carrots first." She said, and moved forward to him. And then at that moment, he actually wished one of his senses would return behind the walls he had put up. He was ecstatic when he had tasted her kisses from earlier, but now, he wish he couldn't taste what she was feeding him. *Oh, God Max... have you even tried this stuff?* He thought, wanting to spit it back out, but she had to basically force it down him. 

Soon lunch was over, but not soon enough for Alec's taste buds. *I swear, pork rinds are a thousand times better than that junk.* He thought, but then kicked himself for getting so involved in the taste of food, when there were more important things to think about, namely the control of his own body.

When Max came back into the room from cleaning up from lunch, he was waiting for her to come over, sit next to him, lay her head on his shoulder, and turn on the tv, like she usually did. But she didn't. She did move him to face the TV, she did turn it on, but she sat on her side of the couch, and he sighed in his head. *Max, no, don't do this. Not now.*

He cursed again, *Damn it Max, now is not a time to feel guilty, or upset. It is not a time to avoid me!* He thought, because he needed her near him, touching him, so that if he could move again she would notice. He needed her to notice, he needed to be able to communicate with her, with anyone really.   
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Max flipped through the channels on the TV, and finally set it on some old movie that was playing. She glanced over at him, and sighed to herself. She had no idea what to do. *Continue on as normal as if nothing has changed, and deal with the consequences when he wakes up? Or try and just do what has to be done, with as little intimate contact as possible, in case he does hate me?* She didn't like either option.

She wanted to lean against him, resting her head on his shoulder like she usually did when they watched the TV. But she didn't know if he would be okay with that now. She laughed slightly to herself, heck she actually didn't know if it was okay when she did it before telling him what she had done. 

She sighed again, and just put her feet up on the table in front of her, and tried to get comfortable on her side of the couch to watch it. But while the movie played she really didn't pay attention, because she was trying to figure out exactly what she should do.  
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Alec was about to go crazy, she hadn't moved towards him, or anything though the whole movie, and it worried him. Would she close herself off from him now? Not allow herself to be around him anymore, because she feared how he felt about her? Granted he was still hurt and angry, about what she did, but didn't she know that they could eventually get past it? Hadn't Cindy tried to convince her that he would understand?

*Doesn't she understand, that if she isn't near me, then she can't see if I have made any progress?* He hadn't tried moving again, because he was waiting to be able to be near her to do so, he didn't want to tire himself out and miss an opportunity. When the credits of the movie started playing he was glad, it meant that something would change, he just hoped that she wouldn't just find something else on.   
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Max picked up the remote part way through the credits and turned off the TV. "Okay, enough 'boob tube' for the day as you call it." She said, and then sighed, because she wasn't sure what to do. Saturday's they usually did a lot, but most of the day was already gone, and she was exhausted, emotionally and mentally. *And a little physically.* She admitted, thinking about that morning, but cringed slightly at the thought as well. The dream of it slightly tainted by what transpired afterwards. 

She moved over to the coffee table in front of him, and sat down. She looked up into his eyes, and took a deep breath, reached for his hands, and held them as she spoke. "Alec... I don't know what you are feeling. Or thinking right now. I wish I did."  
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He watched her move in front of him, and when she reached for and held onto his hands he was thrilled. *Okay, focus. You can do this.* He told himself, not really listening to her. He wanted to, but it was far more important for him to do this, than listen to her trying to decide what to do.

"I know there isn't really that many options, I hope you realize that too."

He felt her hands hold his, and he concentrated on one of them. The feel of her small hands gripping his larger ones, holding onto them tightly, as she tried to explain something he wasn't paying attention too. *Just a small squeeze... that's all I'm asking for.* He told himself, as he tried to will his body to carry out his demands.

"If you are upset with me, I totally understand if you are. I can see that you wouldn't want me to take care of you. But... well... you are stuck with me."

He banged against the wall in his head, trying to get his thoughts to center onto one thing, to get his right hand to grip hers, even just slightly. He could see it happening in his head, but until he felt it happen, until he saw the look of recognition of the fact on her face, he knew it wasn't happening yet. He tried harder, to leave all his other senses out of it, and just concentrate.

"And by the off chance that you do forgive me. And the fact that I don't want to stop being around you, taking care of you, and so on. I think... I'm going to just continue with what I was doing before. If you don't like it, well... then you'll just have to wake up and kick my ass." 

He faltered slightly at her last words, making him almost laugh, then swear when it had made him lose his focus. *Shit, Max... just be quiet for a mintue.* He thought and tried again, his mind already becoming tired.  
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She laughed slightly at her own words, but her heart wasn't in it. She knew that she could be making a bad situation even worse, but she didn't know what else to do. She looked up into his eyes, wishing that he could just tell her, show her. That his unmoving eyes would just look at her, and she could once again see all the emotion behind them, that was once there. She so wished for his eyes to be able to show the emotion that they used to, instead of the blank stare that they held now.

"Alec... I know it's difficult, but if you can ever just give me a hint of what you want... I don't know how, but..." Then she stopped, and looked down at her hand. *Was that? No.. couldn't be.* She thought, *I'm imagining things.*

She looked at his hand in hers, she could have sworn that she felt... "Alec?" She asked, questioning, looking back at his face. If it did in fact happened, it was was so small, that it was barely noticeable, but she swore it was almost like his hand had gripped hers. "Did you just grip my hand?" She asked him, hoping it was true. But mostly to tell him, that if he was trying to, that it was working.

Then she felt it again, his time, it was a little stronger, but not by much. Her heart started to race, and her eyes got bigger, "Alec?" She said excited, "I felt that." She looked back to his hand, "Can you do it again?" She asked, a smile forming on her face, and getting bigger.  
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He barely heard her words, but it registered in his brain, *Again?* He was exhausted, when he actually did the first one, he just about went nuts, until she asked him confused if he did in fact grip her fingers. He then knew that meant his grip that he tried so hard for was barely even feather light.

It had made him try harder, focus harder again, and he finally did it, again, and she got it. She had felt it, and he was thrilled with the look of recognition on her face. But when she asked for him to do it again, he sighed. He just wanted to curl up and actually go to sleep he was so exhausted. He needed a break, he had a killer headache, and he knew that Max had no idea of that, and that pain relievers would not be administered for it.

*I'm sorry Max, you're going to have to wait.* He said to himself, and watched her waiting, hopeful face, and it tore him up inside.  
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She sat there waiting a good whole ten minutes, and then she looked back up at him. "It's okay," she said quietly. Even though she was slightly frustrated that more wasn't happening, she was still thrilled that it was. She assumed the first touch was actually him as well, and that the second one was him again more forcefully. *Forcefully? She thought, it was barely there.* 

But Max didn't care, it was another improvement, in a very short time frame. She couldn't believe how far he had progressed in the last twenty four hours, but then again, she had no idea how long some of the improvements he had shown weren't there from the beginning. 

"How about you rest, and we'll try again later?" She asked, as she lifted his hand to her lips, and kissed it gently. She stood up, and clicked on the TV, she found some documentary on some wild animals or something, and she put the remote down. She smiled at him, "Here, something educational." She laughed slightly.

"I'll be back soon to save you from it, don't worry." She grinned at him, "I'm just going to go outside, make sure Joshua isn't getting sun burnt, that everything is okay, and tell him the good news." She said patting his shoulder, and walked out into the backyard.  
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Max had come back inside soon after, Joshua on her heels. She came back in and sat down next to him, and rested her head on his shoulder. He mentally stiffened for a second then relaxed, trying to remember her words, her pain as well. It helped slightly, and then he remembered his real goal again. To get control over his own body. 

"Joshua's going to show us the rest of his paintings." He heard Max say into his ear, and she was right, because soon Joshua was in front of them with another one of his paintings, and was explaining to them what it was. He decided to just give in, and watch the show. The big guy was obviously very happy to be showing off his work, and while the paintings were good, the best thing to watch was his excitement. 

After the big show, dinner, and some more TV, Max had decided that she had enough obviously when he was pulled to his feet, and she dragged him back to the bedroom. 

"I don't know about you, but I'm exhausted." She sat him on the bed, and looked at him, "I know I may have Shark DNA, and shouldn't have to sleep so much... but for some reason, you tire me out. And I don't mean from just this morning, before you get all cocky on me." 

He almost laughed at that last comment, that was something he would have said. But he knew the truth was, that with all the stuff she did for him, and all the moving around she did with him, he probably did tire her out.

"Well, then again, there is also the fact, that I actually sleep when I'm with you." 

Alec heard the words, but he also saw the slight pink in her cheeks from admitting that to him. Soon he was back into his night clothes, laying back on the bed, and she walking back into the room, having changed herself. She sat on the edge of the bed, and he realized she was still trying to decide exactly what to do. 

He mentally sighed, he understood her predicament, because he honestly wasn't sure what he wanted either. But in the end he figured he would much rather have her there, then be alone, both of them alone. She obviously felt the same way, when she slipped under the sheet and curled up next to him. She laid her head on his shoulder, and reached out for his hand.

"Okay, do you think we could try this again?" She asked sounding hopeful. "Can you try and squeeze my hand again? Take you're time, I can wait."

*I'll try.* He said, but didn't know if it would work, he still had a slight headache from before. He started to try and do it again, blocking out his other senses like the times before.

"If you can't, I understand, it's probably not easy." 

He mentally smiled at her words, *You have no idea.* He thought, *Especially when you keep interrupting me.* And then he started over. It seemed like forever to him, as he tried to block everything else out.  
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She waited, and waited, her mind telling her not to get her hopes up, because it probably wasn't exactly easy for him to do. And also he might actually already be asleep, she really had no idea if he was or not. But then she felt it, the grip this time was much more noticeable. It was weak, very weak, but it was stronger than the last two. 

Max smiled wide, "I felt that!" She told him, and leaned over him, smiling down into his face. She brought his hand back to her mouth and kissed it. Then an idea hit her. And she picked up his other had. "Alec... I know, I know this is asking a lot, a whole lot. But... can you try and squeeze your other hand? Please... just try."

She asked, pleading that it would work, that he could squeeze with his other hand. She waited, and waited. "It's okay, really, we can try again some..." She stopped when she felt it, his fingers lightly gripping her other hand. 

Max wanted to jump for joy, her grin grew so big, and tears of happiness streamed down her face. She threw her arms around him, and hugged him tightly. For now she really knew how much he could understand her, that he was coming back to her, that he was starting to get control over his own body. But most importantly, more important than those other things, was she now had a way to communicate with him.

She slowly moved away from him, tears still in her eyes, smile on her face. She looked down at his face. "Oh Alec, thank God." She said. She sat up next to him, and each one of her hands grabbed onto one of his. "Okay, let's try something."

Max squeezed his right hand lightly, "Okay, this hand, your right one." She said squeezing it again. "This is Yes." She smiled again, hoping her plan would work. "And this," She said squeezing his other hand, "Your left hand, is No." She moved slightly, trying to get more comfortable next to him. "Okay? So right is yes, and left is no." She told him, squeezing each hand to emphasize which one she meant.

"I know you've already done so much tonight, and you have no idea how happy that makes me. But lets try to keep going, maybe it will get easier each time. Okay?" She just prayed that was true. 

She was so excited, she didn't know what to do, what question to ask him first. If this worked, if she could actually get answers from him, things would be so much better. And then her first question popped into her head, and she sighed, she knew she had to ask. But did she really want to know that answer first? But then she realized, she had to know, she had too. Other answers could come later.

Max looked down into his eyes, and held his hands tightly for a second, then slightly loosed her grip, as she tried to get out the words, "Alec... do you hate me for what I did to you?"


	21. Chapter 21

Max sat there waiting, her hands holding his, waiting for his response to her question. As the minutes ticked by, her heart started to pound in her ears, the quiet of the room deafening. She continued to wait, and then had to gasp for air when she realized she had been holding her breath. She knew he had to be exhausted from earlier, and that maybe he wasn't able to respond again this time. 

Another part of her told her that the answer was yes, and he was just tormenting her by not answering, but she brushed that thought away. *No, if it were true, he'd be trying to tell me that, so that I would leave him alone.* She looked down at him, and spoke, "It's okay, I know it's difficult. But just try, I can wait." She told him, trying to encourage him, let him know she was there.

And then, a few moments later, she felt it, just barely, his fingers lightly gripping her left hand. Her hand gripped them back, and her eyes closed in relief, and she threw herself at him, hugging him tightly, her hand still holding onto his. "Thank you," She said softly into his ear.

Relief washed over her, after all she had done, he didn't hate her. She held onto him tighter, tears coming back to her eyes. She knew that didn't make everything perfect. She still didn't know if he was upset, or angry, or hurt, or a million other things. Other things that she would have to ask him, other things she desperately wanted to ask him.

She sat up, and looked back down into his eyes, even more questions coming to mind. But she knew he wasn't ready for it, he needed his rest. Her hand came up to his cheek, and touched it lightly. "I have so much to ask you." She told him, "But I know you need your rest. I know how hard this was for you. But thank you." She said again. Her hands went up to push some hair back from his forehead. 

"I know this doesn't make everything okay, I'm sure you are at least a little angry with me. Tomorrow, hopefully you'll have more energy, and I can figure out a way to ask you questions to answer it." She leaned back over him, her fingers moving back over his cheek, "But the main thing," She said with a smile, "The main thing, is that even if it is limited, you can communicate now." She said, and leaned over, kissing his forehead lightly.

"Now get some sleep," she said, and closed his eyelids. Then moved herself over next to him, resting her head back on his shoulder, and holding onto his hand. Just in case, in case he wanted anything, she'd be able to feel him grip her hand. She smiled to herself, as she let her eyes close.  
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He felt her settle down next to him, and could tell that soon she was asleep next to him. He felt her hand holding onto his, and sighed lightly. His head was killing him, he couldn't remember a time when he had worse of a headache. But then a few flashes entered his mind, memories of things he tried to forget, to lock away hit him. Hard. He cringed, and tried to shove the monsters back behind the doors in his mind. 

*Okay, maybe this headache isn't that bad.* He thought. He tried to push the shadows and darkness to the back recesses of his mind, and just be in the present. Allowing himself to concentrate on what was happening around him now. 

He knew when she had started to tell him about answering her with a yes or no, that she was going to ask that question. He knew because that was the biggest worry on her mind. And he answered her truthfully, but he was worried that if he did she would take that to mean that he was completely okay with it. But he wasn't. Then she had explained that she knew that, she knew that he was more than likely angry with her. That was a fact, but anger and pain fade with time, and talking. 

*Talking.* His mind laughed slightly, they weren't talking, but they were now able to communicate. Yes and no answers had their limitations, but at least it was something. *Now, I just have to be able to figure out a way to grip her hand without tiring myself out so much, and it taking a life time for it to happen.* He was just hoping it would work like his other senses, when they start to come back. Light at first, slow, and then quickly returning in full force. 

His mind was starting to get foggy, and he realized just how tired he was, his mind starting to float towards unconsciousness. And while he started to drift off those doors in his mind were beginning to shake, sounds coming from behind them, the knobs trying to turn, trying to open.   
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Max slowly woke up, but she wasn't sure what had woken her. It was still dark out, as she looked at the clock, it was only three in the morning. She was confused for a minute, and then her senses started to take over and her eyes adjusted to the darkness. Her cheek was slightly damp. *I haven't been crying.* She thought to her self, and she sat up slightly, wiping her cheek, and then she felt how damp her arm was, that was laying over Alec's chest. 

Her hands came down to his shirt, it was soaked. She quickly got up, and turned on the light, and moved back to him, sitting next to him. "Alec?" She asked questioning him. Not understanding what was going on, her hand moved to his forehead, *Temperature seems normal," she thought even though now her hand was covered in sweat. Her eyes scanned his face, and she saw the tears running down his face. *What the heck?* She asked herself.

She sat him up in bed, and started to remove his shirt, and found his heart beating quickly underneath. "Alec, can you hear me?" She asked as she threw his shirt across the room. Pulling back the sheets. She took in the situation, and then she also noticed, it was small, so very small, but he was... *He's shaking.* She thought. Then it became clear, *He's dreaming, heck he's having a nightmare.*

She laid him back down on the bed, and grabbed onto his hand, her other going to his face, opening his eyes. She noticed that they were rolled back into his head slightly, *He's asleep. *She thought. "Alec, wake up. Come on, wake up. You're dreaming. You're safe here. Wake up." She kept telling him. "When you can hear me, try gripping my hand again." She said. Her small speech starting over, repeating it again and again.  
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*No, go away.* He thought. The images, the pain popping into his mind, over and over. Flashes of the past, running through him. Then he was there, there again. Strapped in that chair, the metal restraints keeping him from moving, pining him to it, not allowing him to take more than shallow breaths, not allowing his eyes to close, not letting his head move. 

Images flashing before his eyes, death, destruction, violence, words, her... always her. Red laser beams pierced his eyes, hot electrical current passing through him, burning his skin that touched the metal restraints, the smell of burnt flesh hitting his nostrils.

"All you have to do is tell us where she is. And it's all over 494. Just tell us where she is."

"Never." The images were faster, brighter. The volts hotter, longer. The smell grew thicker. The beams more intense. The feeling of a needle in his skin. The feeling of blood trickling from deep gashes. The burning cold chemical feel traveling through his blood, traveling to his mind, telling him to give in, to let go.  
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"Wake up, Alec. You're safe. It's okay." It was worrying her how long it was taking to get him to wake up, she had been trying to do so for over five minutes. She kept trying comforting words, and gentle touches, not knowing if anything more would just add to whatever it was that he was dreaming. 

But she was sure she knew what it had to deal with, she was sure he was remembering whatever it was that White had done to him, or something Manticore had done to him before that. She shuddered slightly, realizing she had no idea what all he had went through, both times, and she knew that even if he ever told her about it, she would still never know everything. 

"Alec, I'm right here, you're okay. Just wake up." She said again, "You're safe, they can't hurt you anymore." She said, and squeezed his hand again. Then she watched his eyes roll again, right back into the same position they always were. But at that moment she was glad to see them like that. *So I guess they do move when he sleeps and is awake.* She thought for an instant, but then moved over to him. Looking down at him. 

"It's okay, I'm right here. It was just a bad dream." She said softly.  
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His vision came back with a start, and it took a second to focus. He felt his heart pumping in his chest, in his ears, his body soaked, his mind spinning. He wanted to gasp for air, *It was a dream.* He thought after a second, *Only a dream.* His mind tried to calm down, tried to get control of his thoughts, his emotions. He tried to relax, but then he realized, it wasn't only a dream. His mind shuddered at the thought, it was real, it had happened. 

Alec tried pushing the thoughts away, push them as far away as he could. His eyes focused, and he saw Max's worried face looking down at him. "I'm right here, Alec." She told him, "You're safe, they can't hurt you anymore."

*She knows.* He thought, she knows what I was dreaming. *Well, she sort of knows.* He hoped she would never find out exactly, he hoped he would never remember, he hoped he could just forget it, forget it like all the rest, shove it aside and not think of it again.   
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Max leaned over him, her hand slowly moving from his face to grab his other hand. "Alec, just one more question." She knew he had just woken up, and he was probably not in the mood for twenty questions, but she had to know one more. And if she knew the answer to this one, it would at least be able to tell her, the better way to comfort him. 

"Remember, right is yes, and left is no." She held onto his hands, and then asked, "Can you see me?" 

She waited, but this time it didn't take nearly as long for the light grip to grasp her right hand. She smiled down into his eyes. "I knew it." She said, her hand letting his go, and both come to the sides of his face, tilting his head slightly to make sure his pupils were looking right at her. 

She looked down at him, noticing that his shaking had stopped, his heart rate had returned to normal, and the sweat on his skin was mostly evaporated. He was calming down from his dream, which was good. It didn't mean he was okay, but it meant that the worse was over.

A soft, comforting smile came to her mouth as she looked down at him, "Everything is going to be okay." She told him, and then moved her head to his shoulder, and her arms around him in a hug. "I promise." She said, "I'll never let them hurt you again." She squeezed her arms around him slightly for emphasis.   
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*You can't promise me that Max, any more than I can you.* He thought, as the heavy weight of sleepiness was starting to press on him again, and soon he was asleep once again


	22. Chapter 22

The morning came and not a moment to soon for Max, she couldn't fall back to sleep after Alec had his nightmare. She had felt him slowly sink back into slumber, happy that he was able to go to sleep, and even more so when it seemed like there wasn't going to be a repeat performance. She had laid there instead, listening to his heartbeat, holding his hand, and thinking. 

Thinking about so many different things. She had started thinking about his dream, how terrified his reactions were, and she knew, knew that if he was in more control of himself the reactions would have been much worse. She wondered how many other nightmares he had since she rescued him, that she didn't know about. But then that made her think of the ones that would be coming. *And they will.* She thought with a heavy heart, it was just another thing that she hadn't counted on, hadn't thought about. 

For some reason, she was thinking that once he just snapped out of it, everything would be fine, he would be his old, cocky, lovable self again. *Lovable?* She asked herself, almost laughing at the word. It wasn't something she would have said before, but now, she knew the word fit perfectly. The small smile faded from her face almost instantly though, as she looked up at the man she had just described laying in the dark next to her. Her hand slowly pushing the hair from his forehead, then coming back to grasp his hand once again.

Max knew that the road ahead was going to be a long, and painful journey, for both of them. She just hoped he let her be there to help him along the ride. Her mind tried to move along, not to think about it right then, because no matter how long she dwelled on the topic, there was nothing she could do about it right then. Her brain then moved on to things that were pressing, and those were the questions that she needed answers too.

She thought about them until the light started to flicker in the windows, and she smiled looking over at the clock. It was early, really early, especially to get up on a Sunday. She knew that Alec loved his sleep, something that he had also rubbed off on Joshua while he had stayed their before. She laughed to herself slightly, realizing that as she laid there next to him, sleeping in didn't sound so bad either, or at least staying in bed all morning. But she was too excited and nervous, to begin to be able to communicate with him, and find out the answers to her pressing questions that she just couldn't wait any longer.

She slowly got out of bed, and went to get changed, allowing him a little extra time before she woke him up. Then she returned to his room, and sat down next to him, taking his hand once again. "Alec?" She said softly, leaning over him next to his ear. "Alec, wake up." She said again. Now that she knew he could grip her hand, she didn't want to open his eyes until she knew he was awake. "Alec, come on, wake up, and grip my hand, and then I'll open your eyes." She told him, shaking him slightly.   
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He heard her slightly in the back of his head, and then his consciousness fully grasped her words. *Wake up? Didn't I just go back to sleep?* He thought, *What time is it?* He didn't want to get up yep, he was still tired, but he heard the tone in her voice, it was... excited. *Damn it. She's all ready to start with the questions.* He sighed in his head, and wished that he could turn over and pull the pillow over his head and just ignore her. She started to shake him slightly, and he sighed. *Can't I get just ten more minutes?* 

Alec sighed, knowing this was Max he was thinking about, and that no, she wouldn't give him ten more minutes, not even if he could just ask her. Finally he gave up, and decided he wasn't going to get anymore sleep with her like this anyway, so he concentrated, and before he knew it, his fingers were gripping hers, and little stronger then they did the night before. At the realization, his mind snapped fully awake. An evil thought popped into his head, *Maybe, just maybe this time tomorrow, I can hit her with that pillow when she tries to wake me up.* His mind grinned at the thought.  
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She felt his grip on her hands, noticing that it was stronger than before and she smiled. "Good Morning," She told him, as her hand went and opened his eyes again, she looked into them, and smiled. Glad she now knew for sure that he could see her. "Okay, I know it's early, but you know me. I don't sleep that much, and well... I haven't been able to talk to you for so long, kinda missed the arguing." She grinned at him, trying to joke, but also knowing that the questions would be far from arguing. 

"First things first," she said, "Let's set you up." She pulled him up on the bed, letting him rest his back against the headboard and pillow, and she moved further up the bed, facing him. She started to think of her first question, but then she thought of another more important one. "Well, I guess the first question I should ask, is do you want me to ask you these questions? Do you want to do this now?" She asked him, holding on to both of his hands again. After a few moments, she felt the squeeze to her right hand, and she smiled at him. "Thanks, that's a yes I take it." She sighed in relief, she was glad that he was willing to 'talk' with her.  
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Alec mentally sighed, he wasn't looking forward to this 'conversation,' but he knew that it had to happen, and he did want to 'talk,' besides the more he was gripping her hand, the easier it was getting, the less thought and concentration it took to accomplish that task. Which meant, soon, maybe he could try something else, slowly get control over his own body once again. 

"Okay, I know you can see me. And I know you said last night that..." He heard her pause, and knew what the topic was already going to be, and it didn't surprise him in the least. "that you don't hate me for what I did." He saw her sigh, and take a deep breath. "Okay, are you angry with me?"

He squeezed her right hand, and he watched her realize that he answered her affirmatively, and watched her eyes moisten slightly. He knew that it hurt her, but it was the truth, and she had to know it. He watched her try and shake it off, and ask another question. "Are you hurt by what I did?" Again he squeezed her right hand, and he saw her shoulders slump slightly, and her eyes close. Her eyes opened, and he saw the tear streak down her cheek. "Alec, I know it doesn't make it better, you have no idea how sorry I am." He saw her move one of her hands towards his face, and then stop, and brought it back down.

*Max, don't do this. Don't make me feel bad for the way I feel, I can't help it.* He thought, sighing at how frustrating all this was. If he could just talk to her, he could explain exactly how he felt.

He saw her face slowly look back up at him, "Can you forgive me?" That question caught him off guard, and right then he didn't know exactly how to answer her. If he said yes, he might give her to much hope, lead her to believe everything was okay. If he said no he knew it would kill her, and also he really wasn't sure. He didn't know what he thought, he didn't know how to answer her, as she sat there waiting. And then he tried to do something, something that he hoped would work.  
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Max waited, and as she did, she also realized how unfair the question was, she was about to ask something else, when she felt him grip her hands. She looked down, and saw that each hand was squeezing both of hers, at the same time. Her first reaction was a smile, as she looked up into his eyes. Happy at the thought that he could do it, that he was getting more control over himself. But then the smile slightly faded, at what it meant. *Yes and no?* She thought, she looked at him as she realized what he meant, "I'll take that as a maybe?" His right hand gripped hers again. She gave him a soft smile, both from his fast response, and also because she realized that at least it wasn't a no. "I can live with that." She said.

"Okay," She sighed, thinking, then remembered all the questions she had thought of during the night. "Do you remember any of what happened that night?" She asked him, part of her hoping he did, part of her wishing he didn't.  
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*Wow, she really knows how to ask the 'easy' questions.* He thought, rolling his eyes in his head. He only remembered some of what she had said and screamed, and the smell of her pheromones, nothing else. But that meant he did remember something, but barely anything. He squeezed both of her hands again, trying to tell her he wasn't sure, and then squeezed her left one as soon after as he could. Alec caught the confused look on her face. *Come on Max, figure it out.*

"Maybe, and no?" He heard her say, trying to still figure out his message. "More no than yes.... So you remember something, just not a lot." He squeezed her right hand again, and she nodded. Alec almost wanted to smile, he didn't like what they were talking about, but he was getting her to talk to him, to understand him, and no one could understand just how wonderful that actually felt.   
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*He remembers part of it, just not a lot.* She thought to herself, *I wonder what it is that he does remember?* She asked herself, but then she decided to move on. "Okay, I know that we really can't talk about this anymore this way. So, I'll move on, sort of." She took another breath, "Do you still want me to take care of you?" Then she paused, "I mean, I'm sure you wish no one would have to take care of you." She smiled at him, "But since right now, that isn't an option. Do you want me to take care of you?" She asked him, slightly holding her breath, hoping he would say yes. And when there wasn't a hesitation, and he squeezed her right had, with a little more force, she let out the breath with a smile. *Thank God.* She thought.  
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He didn't have to think about that answer. No matter how angry he was, how hurt, how upset, no matter anything like that. He wanted her there, he still wanted her touch, her comfort, her voice and warmth. She was helping him come back to the world, she was helping him in so many ways, and no matter what, he still loved her, he still needed her. 

Alec saw the smile on her face, and knew she was relieved, but her face changed again, and he had a hard time reading what was on her mind, and then she gave him another question. "Yesterday morning, in the shower, did you want me?" He heard the questioning in her voice, and he realized that she was worried that she had possibly taken advantage of him twice. He waited, just a little bit, torturing her slightly, partly out of his slight anger, but also partly out of his own cockiness. Then he gave in, and squeezed her right hand once again.

The smile that showed on her face at his answer almost made him laugh. It was pure relief, and then absolute happiness. Then he felt her arms wrapping around him in a big hug, her face at his neck, and he heard her say softly, "Thank God." He almost laughed again, for two people created at Manticore they had strangely become religious in thanking him so much. 

He then felt her pull back, and look at him... shyly. *Why the heck should she be shy?* He thought to himself. 

"I'm sorry, I keep doing that. You're probably getting sick of it aren't you? I keep touching you, hugging you, and everything. I mean, you aren't to happy with me, and I keep doing it." He watched her sigh. 

*No Max, don't stop. It makes me feel...* He sighed to himself, realizing how true it was, *It makes me feel alive.*

Her eyes moved up into his, he felt her hands take his once again, and he hoped she would ask him, and not just take away her touch because that's what she thought he would want. "Alec, you said you still want me to take care of you. Do you want me to continue doing everything the way that I have been?" She paused, then wanted to clarify, "I mean, if you answer no, we could try and figure things out. If you say yes, I mean, I'll continue on the same way. That means.. me still being all girlie and touching you." He saw her roll her eyes at her self on the word girlie, and he almost had to laugh, as she continued. "So, keep it the same?"

He instantly squeezed her right hand once again, and he saw the smile light up on her face, then she was asking again. "Even me sleeping next to you?" She asked hesitantly, and he squeezed the same hand again. The look on her face changed slightly, and it confused him, and so did her leaning in closer to him. Then her words shocked him slightly, "Can I kiss you?"

*Whoah,* he thought, that wasn't expected, especially after where the conversation had started. Then he thought about it, for a nanosecond, and squeezed her right hand once again. A brief second later, her lips were on his, her hand at the back of his head running thought his hair. He loved the feel of her lips against his, the taste of her kiss, had his mind swimming. He tried to move his own lips against hers, to kiss her back, but it wasn't working. He tried to concentrate on it again, like he did with his hands, and other senses, he tried to close out his other senses, to shut them off for just a little while. 

But he gave in when he felt her pull away, and then shocked, when she said his name questioning, "Alec?" He heard her right in front of him, but he didn't see her. It scared him for a minute, then he realized his eyes were closed. *How the heck did that happen?* He thought to himself, he didn't remember Max shutting his eyes.  
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Max looked at him, his eyes closed, "Alec?" She asked again, not sure what was going on, and then she just about jumped back off the bed, when they opened quickly, starting right at her. She moved closer to him slowly, watching his eyes, his pupils carefully, and as she moved... they followed her. Her hand slowly came up to the side of his face, and she caught them move slightly at the movement to the side of him. 

Her hand lightly rested on his cheek, then his eyes moved back to hers, "Welcome back," she said softly, her heart bursting as she looked into his eyes. The emotion and depth she had so long wanted to see return, running behind them. So beautiful. She could see the pain and grief behind his eyes, but there was also a little bit of happiness, and even if slightly dimmed, she could see that old spark still in there somewhere. 

She sat up more fully, and leaned back in to him, her voice soft. "Do you have any idea how much I missed those eyes?" She told him, then blushed slightly at what she sounded like. *Oh boy is he going to have a lot of ammo to get me with when he can talk again.* She thought, but then she just didn't care, as she moved back, and kissed him lightly once again.  
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Alec couldn't believe it, he had opened his eyes all by himself, and he was able to move them as well, to really look at her, study her, and not just the picture that came in front of him. *Now if I could move my head.* He thought, but knew that was going to take awhile. He didn't know exactly how it had happened, he was trying to do something completely different. But then it sort of made sense, he was trying to shut out his other senses when he was trying to kiss her back, *I guess my eye sight listened to be for once.*

He wasn't going to complain, it was another small step along his road to recovery, and each one meant he was getting there. And her lips back on his was making him want that much sooner than later. A moment later he felt her pull away with a sigh, and realized he had closed his eyes again when she was kissing him, they moved to open, rather easily, and she was there smiling at him.   
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She groaned, "I guess we better get out of bed, and start off this day." She said and moved over to the dresser. "I guess I could ask you want you wanted to wear, but I'm not going to, cause I'm just mean like that." She laughed slightly, and took out one of her favorite shirts then some matching pants, boxers and socks. She put them on the foot of the bed. Then she came back over to him, and said, "Okay, let's get you dressed."

Soon they were out in the kitchen and Max was finishing her breakfast. Once done she came over with his, and sat it down on the table. She was about ready to open it, when she looked at him. "Wait, I should ask you what you want."  
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When he heard the words, he almost wanted to yell to the heavens, *Thank you, thank you! Please, no more pureed carrots or peas or green beans, or whatever that green stuff is.* He thought. *Please let her ask me what I want to eat before she gives it to me.* 

She held up the protein shake mixes to him, then held onto his hands, "Chocolate" she said squeezing his right, "Or strawberry?" She asked squeezing his left. He squeezed her left hand, and she gave him a surprised look. "Strawberry? Really? Huh, I would have thought you would want chocolate." 

He laughed in his head, *Maybe tomorrow.* She then held up another jar, "Apple or Pineapple?" She asked him doing the same thing. "Pineapple, wait.. apple?" Then she laughed, "Oh, both, someone's hungry." She laughed again when he squeezed her right hand, both knowing that always meant yes. 

Max leaned in towards him, her fingers lightly moving over his face, and he heard her breath at his ear, and the happy tone of her voice, "Do you know how much nicer this is, being able to kinda talk to you?" She asked him, and then he watched her jump up. "Oh, forgot the spoon." She said moving out of his line of sight.

*Yeah Max, I do know how nice it is.* He thought.  
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They spent the rest of the day, with questions every so often. Joshua joining in here and there. But Max kept away from the serious questions, she figured they all needed to be happy for a little while. And for a minute, with him sitting there looking at her, his eyes moving to take her in, her hand in his, she almost let herself believe that everything was normal. But then she knew it wasn't. 

She looked over at him, "Hey, do you want to watch a movie?" She asked him, "I'll even let you pick it out of the ones we have." She said giving him a smile. The pressure on her right hand made her smile, "Decide to actually take the chance when I give you one huh?" She said winking at him. And then moved over to the tv, they didn't have many movies, they were hard to get, but they had some. She told them what they all were first, and gave him a moment to think about it.

She then started to ask one at a time, and after the fourth one, she got her yes. She smiled, "Return of the Jedi it is." She said, wondering to herself why he picked out the last one the series to watch, and then as she walked back over to him, and sat down next to him. She lightly hit him on the shoulder, "I know why you want to see this one, it's that damn gold bikini." She said and laughed.  
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He laughed in his head with her, okay, she was partially right. But, it wasn't the girl on the screen that he was thinking about in that gold bikini, it was the girl next to him. *But then again, I do prefer her without it.* He thought, then realizing that Joshua was watching the movie with them, and that if he kept going with the thoughts that he did, he might have another problem like he did the morning before. 

*Damn, how was it that she can make me feel so many things at once?* He thought, but he tried to stop the questioning, and just settle in and watch the movie, and enjoy the feel of her leaning against him watching the movie.

The movie finished, they had dinner, and Max learned just how much Alec did not like purred carrots when he squeezed her left hand six times in a row at her just mentioning the option to him. Original Cindy had stopped over for a minute after dinner, to check up on Max, and was elated at the news that she got from Max. Cindy had went over to see Alec, grabbing both his hands in hers as she sat in front of him. Her smile getting bigger as she watched his eyes move over her face. "Hey there." She said to him. Her smile getting bigger when she felt him squeeze her hand. "Okay, we are going to have to talk more when it's not so late." She told him. "I just stopped by for a minute to see how everything was."

She didn't stay long, knowing it was late. She gave Joshua a hug, and then Max, patted Alec on the shoulder, and after telling Max that she would see her at work the next day she was gone. Joshua grabbed another book, and then said he was heading to bed. "Good Night, Big Fella." She called out after him, as she sat down next to Alec again. 

She turned him slightly, so that they were facing each other on the couch, her hand now just automatically going to hold his. She was silent as she looked at him, staring at his eyes, his eyes... *Starring back at me, looking at me.* She thought, a small smile coming to her lips. She wondered exactly what he was thinking, exactly what he felt, but she was too afraid to ask him. She wasn't sure if she really wanted to know, exactly what he felt. Because even if the answers would be good, they could also devastate her. 

Her hand slowly came up to the side of his face, tracing his cheek bones, and then she held her breath slightly, as his eyes closed. She moved over closer to him, practically sitting on his lap, but not quite. Her fingers moved over his face, softly, and she felt his hand lightly grip her other one. The tips of her fingers traced a pattern over his eye brows, down his nose, and gently over his lips. His eyes opened slowly looking at her, as her fingers lingered at his lips. She leaned in slowly, her hand moving back to cup his cheek, and she watched his eyes close again as her lips met his once more. 

The touch was light, and soft, as she grazed her lips against his. Then she trailed them to his cheek. Pressing light kisses over his skin, his forehead, traveling the pattern her fingers did, then settled back at his mouth again. Increasing the pressure slightly, deepening the kiss, her hand moving back into his hair, as she felt his hand lightly grasping hers again. Her tongue licked his bottom lip slightly, and she felt his body jerk slightly, making her grin into the kiss. Her body moving closer to him, moving onto his lap pressing herself against him. 

Her hand moved down from his hair to grasp his other hand, and she asked one word, "More?" She was rewarded with a quick, strong grip to her right hand. She moved closer to him, moving herself to straddle his lap, she moved his hands back to her hips, laying his palms against them. She grinned, when his hands grasped her hips, and she leaned back against him, her mouth claiming his once again, her arms wrapping around his neck, pulling him closer.   
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Alec was in a dream state, he couldn't believe what was going on. Part of him knew that this shouldn't be happening, not after everything. But that part was being put to the curb, because the part of him that wanted this, wanted her, didn't even want to think about stopping. Her kisses were making him heady, her body pressed closely against him, was starting to create a problem he was sure she was going to feel at any moment. And the feel of her hips in his hands, that he was able to squeeze right now, driving him forward. 

She shifted on him, and he heard her groan into his mouth, as he did mentally, at the pleasure that shot through him as she moved against his growing erection in his pants. Her tongue moved into his mouth, and he was again drowning in the taste of her. Another moan, and movement from her and any doubt about this he had left was thrown out the window. But then she pulled away. 

His eyes shot open to look at her, he saw her flushed face, heavy breathing, and the desire, fire behind her eyes, *Why are you stopping?* He wanted to ask her. 

And then she was asking a question, "Do you really want this, do you want me?" She asked looking at him. 

His eyes traveled over her, and his right hand squeezed at her hip, and he didn't stop for a good length of time to emphasize his point. At first he thought she didn't understand when she stood up, but then he was being pulled to his feet, and he realized they were moving, very quickly towards the bedroom. And before he knew it, he was laying on the bed, and the sound of the door shutting and locking was being heard. Then she was over him, her body straddling his hips once again, her body pressing against his, moving against him. 

Soon her arms were pulling him up to her, sitting him up against her, and he could feel her hands pull his shirt up and over his head. Then he saw a whirl of color as her top was soon shed, and she was pressing their flesh together, her mouth finding his once again, and pressing them both back to the bed. Then her lips were moving down his neck, and he closed his eyes tightly as the sensation washed over him. Then her mouth started to move over his chest, leaving small kisses, licks, and bites along the way.

His head groaned, and his hand gripped at the sheet when her tongue trailed over one of his nipples and then the other, only then to continue on it's downward journey. Soon he felt her hands at his pants, heard the zipper come down, and then they and his boxers were heard landing in the corner of the room. The sounds of more fabric, and then something again hitting the floor could be heard, and he realized that Max was probably now just as clothed as he was. 

Alec felt her hands run up his legs, over his inner thighs, and he felt himself stiffen even more at her touch. But that was nothing because in a second he was rock hard, as the feel of her warm breath washed over his length. *Oh God, Max.* He thought as realization of what she was bout to do washed through him. 

Her hands went to his, and held onto them, and then he felt the tip of her tongue move over him, base to tip, and his hips jerked up at her, and her hands squeezed hers with all that he had. She then circled it around the head, making him jerk again, and then he felt her warm, wet mouth take him in. *Oh Max, ohhh...* His head swimming in pleasure as she lowered her mouth onto him. Then he felt her moving his hands, moving them into her hair, at the back over her head. *Oh God, Max.* He thought, his hands gripping onto her silken tresses, as her mouth began to move on him. Lowering down on him, her tongue moving around him as she pulled off, then back down. 

He thought he had to be dreaming, because this just couldn't be happening. He could feel the tension building in him, as her mouth and tongue continued to work over him, again and again, and it was pure heaven, but he had to get her to stop, and soon. *Very soon.* He thought, as his hips jerked up at her again as she sucked at the tip of him. Her hands grabbed at the back of her head, but he couldn't pull her away, his mind gasping again, as she moved back over him. Then he did the only thing he could think of, he let go, and his hands fell to the bed.

She stopped instantly, and he was relived as she slowly moved back over him, looking into his eyes confused. Her hands reaching out for his hands again. "Do you want to stop?" She asked him, the confused look still in her eyes. Her grasped her left hand hard, and he was rewarded with a smile. "Oh, so you want to move on?" She asked, a small smirk coming over the smile. 

He quickly grabbed her right hand, Alec didn't care if it seemed like he was begging, because, well, *I am.* He thought, as she leaned back over him, and her mouth found his, her tongue darting inside, kissing him passionately, taking his breath away, as her body moved back over his, her hips grinding against his. Making his body jerk back against hers. 

He watched her move, her one hand leaving his, trailing down his body, and then his eyes closed as her fingers wrapped around him, her body moving over him, teasing him, letting the tip graze across her wet flesh. His eyes snapped back open and locked with hers, and then as she stared back at him, she slowly lowered herself onto him. 

Alec kept his eyes on hers as their bodies slowly melded together, and when they were fully one again, his hand gripped hers tightly, and her other hand came back, holding both of his again. Then she started to rock her hips against his and his eyes closed at the pleasure that moved though him. She moved slowly over him, taking her time, and he opened his eyes again to watch her. 

Then he watched as her hands started to move his, her hands moving his up her thighs, over her hips, up her sides, and he moaned in his head at the feel of her skin over his fingertips. Then she brought them over her chest and moved them over her breasts, and his mind moaned again. The feel of her full flesh in his hands, her hardened nipples at his palms. Then his hands grasped at them, and he heard her moan, and her hips move a little faster over him. 

His hands squeezed the mounds of flesh lightly, her hands keeping them there, telling him she wanted it, wanted more, and he was all too happy to accommodate her. With each squeeze, a small moan was sent straight to his ears, her moving faster on top of him, moving up and down, faster and faster, making his hips jerk up at her. 

Soon he was watching her eyes close, as she was taking in the feeling of it, but he kept his open, wanting to watch her, watch the beauty of what was going on inside of her. Her hips moving quicker, her body arching against his. His body screaming in his own pleasure as her heated core kept encircling him, and then moving away only to trap him once again. Over and over. 

Her pace was moving faster, more frantic over him, and soon he was finding her moving his hands once again, this time settling back on her hips, and he gladly grasped them in his hands, tightly, as she moved onto him again and again. Her own arms moving to his chest to help support her, as she moved.

Then he felt it, felt her muscles start to flutter around him, and then her whole body arched backwards, her head tilting back, and her muscles tightened around him hard, over and over again, his hips jerking back at her in response, his hands gripping tightly at her hips, as her mouth opened to scream, and as he heard his name once again on her lips, he let go. His warmth shooting into her body, as her own muscles tried to take even more, making his hips move up against her again, and again. And then she was leaning forward, her body, falling to his chest, her breath coming in large gasps.

He could feel the pounding of his heart in his head, the waves of pleasure washing over him, and slowly being replaced with and overwhelming calm as his body slowly cooled, feeling her still laying on top of him, still intimately connected. His hands still at her hips, which he gripped softly, making her wiggle her hips slightly, which sent another small wave though him. 

Then he heard her in his ear, her words so quite, slightly out of breath, "I love you." His eyes closed at the words, and his right hand gripped her hip lightly again, hoping that she would understand that he meant the same thing.


	23. Chapter 23

Max felt the grip of his hand at her hip, *The grip of his right hand. Yes?* She thought, he mind slightly confused. Then she thought about what he could be saying yes too, *I just said I loved him.* She thought, and *That isn't exactly a question...* Then her mind trailed off, her heart stopping for a second, *Maybe it wasn't an answer, maybe it was a statement.*

She sat up on him slightly, letting out a small moan, their bodies still connected. She reluctantly moved herself from him, and saw the regret in his eyes as well from her actions, which put a small smile on her face. She then sat back up slightly, her hands moving back to his again, "Alec?" She asked questioning, his eyes moving to look right into hers. "You squeezed my hip." She stated, "Did that mean something, or was it just a squeeze?" Then she realized, that wasn't a yes or no question, "Did it mean something more than just a touch?"

She felt his hand grip her right one, "You meant something by it." She said, and she felt like she couldn't breath. *How do I even begin to ask this? What if I'm wrong?* She thought, *He could mean 'I love you too,' or it could have meant, 'God, that was good.'* She finally sucked it up, and asked, "Did it have something to do with what I said?"

Max felt the pressure in her right hand again, and she decided to still play it partially safe, "Where you just saying, that you heard me?" She felt the grip to her left hand, and her heart started to beat a little faster, "Alec...." She didn't know if she could get it out, "Were you trying to tell me... tell me that you... that you love me too?" There she finally said it, asked it.

When he answered her, she sat there in slight shock as he held onto her right hand, and he didn't stop squeezing it. She felt the warm tears run down her cheeks, as the realization washed over her. *He loves me.* She thought, *After everything, though all this... he loves me.*  
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He watched her, *Oh, Max, please don't cry.* He wanted to reach up, and wipe the tears away, but he just kept holding her hand, the only thing helping, was knowing that they weren't from sadness, at least he hoped they weren't. *Now she knows, now she knows that I love her.* He thought, feeling relief at sort of being able to tell her.

Then he watched her move back down to him, her lips moving back to his, kissing him softly. His mind fell into the kiss, both his hands holding onto hers, trying to give back in some way, and she increased the pressure in response. Then after a few moments she pulled back to look into his eyes. Her brown ones, were sparking down at him, and he wanted nothing more than to move his hands up into her hair, brush it back from her face, and then pull her back down to him.

"I love you, Alec," She said again, this time without hesitation, looking straight at him. He held onto her right hand, squeezing it a few times, and watched as the smile lit up her face. Then he watched her move, move both them around the bed. Soon he was resting back against the pillows, rolled onto his side facing her, her arms moving around him, his one arm she moved under her neck. He almost laughed, at how good she was at getting them to look as if nothing was wrong, as if he was doing all this. 

Her hand traced over his features and he closed his eyes, now that he could to take in the sensation, the feeling of her gentle touch. It was always so comforting to feel her fingers move over his face, then he felt her lips lightly brush against his once again, "Good Night." She said quietly, and he gripped her hand lightly again. 

But then Alec felt her turn in his arms, and his mind smiled. She moved with her back to him, but then pressed herself back against him, her moving his arms around her, her hands in his, holding them around her, to her chest. She rested her neck on his arm and her head on the pillow. Her one hand left his for a second to move her hair out of the way, and then came back to his again. "Comfortable?" She asked him, and he 'told' her yes. "Good, me too." She said, her voice with a slight yawn.

He laid there for awhile, his eyes open, just looking at her, feeling his arms around her, her body pressed again his, and it just felt... right. He closed his eyes for a moment and he let his sense of smell take over, he could smell her next to him, her fragrance always intoxified him, but this time, there was more too it, he could smell both of them in the air, the mixture an overwhelming erotic smell. Then he let his sense of touch feel her next to him, his body slightly cool to everywhere but where she was next to him. Her soft, warm skin feeling like silk, her fingers intertwined with his. His mind slowly drifting off to sleep, realizing that in the morning, she would still be there, still be there in his arms.

Alec's mind drifted off to be filled with dreams, dreams of a time when he would be able to show her himself what he felt, when he would be able to tell her with his voice, when he would be able to do all the things he had been wanting to do for himself.  
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Max slowly started to wake up, and she stretched lightly, her mind coming back to consciousness, seeing the light coming in from outside through her closed eyes. She felt the warmth at her back, and smiled at the safety she felt circled around her. But then her eyes popped open. She looked down at the arms around her, their hands still enter twined, but that wasn't what had her amazed. 

His arms around her where pulling her to him, not just his hands, but his arms. She turned her head to look at him, and she realized he was still asleep. Her smile grew, she struggled lightly to get away from him to see what would happen, and his arms tried to pull her back to him. She was excited, his arms were starting to move. *It makes sense.* She thought, his hands were moving, his arms only seemed to be the next step. She felt him squeeze a little more, and she settled back into him, allowing him to hold her.

She knew she had to get up and get everything done so she could get to work, but she was to happy right then, to be laying in his arms to do it. *Normal can just kiss my ass.* She thought, squeezing his hands lightly in hers. *Besides, I'm sure he won't mind if I'm a little late, when I tell him how much progress his 'Golden Boy' has made.* She thought with a slight laugh, thinking just how much nicer Normal had been to her when he had found out that she had been taking care of Alec. *Even if he still doesn't know the whole truth.*

She then turned in his arms to face him, and felt his arms pull her closer again, and she smiled, her hand going back to the side of his face, "Hey, wake up sleepy head." She told him, and slowly his eyes opened.  
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Alec's mind yawned at him, as he slowly opened his eyes to her voice, her smiling face looking at him, her warm body pressed up against him, and his head groaned slightly, and he shut his eyes. He felt her move against him, heard her small gasp, then slight giggle from her, he opened his eyes again, to see a mischievous look in her eyes. "Sorry," she said to him, but he could tell she didn't mean it, "Not enough time this morning." 

He groaned in thought, *Oh come on... Please* He thought, and wanted to grip her left hand, but realized her hands weren't in his, but then he realized something else, he realized his arms were around hers and pulling her to him. His eyes widened in shock, and he saw her catch it.

She smiled at him, "What did you just realize that you have been pulling me to you all this morning?" Then he could hear the teasing in her voice, "What exactly were you dreaming out?" She asked with a raised eyebrow.

He would have gotten a very cocky grin on his face if he could have smiled back at her, *Wouldn't you like to know.* He thought. He realized that in his mind he hand been hugging her to him, and that his body must have responded to the impulses on their own in the middle of the night, and he wasn't complaining. While he couldn't exactly just pick up his arm, he could feel the muscles in them start to work, flex and move slightly to bring her closer. But he also knew that soon, it would be coming back. 

That was one thing, one thing that would make things so much easier. If he could move his arms, he could do a lot more on his own. Then he remembered that Max was going to work today, and his hopes sunk slightly. He knew she had to leave, but when they were together, he made more progress. No offense against Joshua, he was great, did a heck of a lot for him, but it just wasn't the same, not the same at all.  
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She leaned in and kissed him, again, and then with regret told him that she needed to get them both ready for the day, so that she could go to work. It didn't take long for her to get them both dressed, and then out to the kitchen for some breakfast. She knew his arms were slowly starting to work again, but there was still no way that he could feed himself, especially since his mouth muscles weren't working exactly well yet. They worked enough to get soft stuff down, but nothing else. *Soon,* she thought, *Soon, you can feed yourself, and enjoy real food again.* 

After lunch, she took him back into the living room and sat him down. "Okay, TV okay for now?" She asked him, and this time watched his eyes go up and down and she laughed, as he then slightly rolled them. "I know, I know. Probably sick of it now huh?" She watched his eyes with another yes. "Is there something else you want to do?" She asked.

She watched him, waiting for a response, and she could tell he was trying to think of something that he could actually do. But then he saw his shoulder shrug slightly. And she let out a screech, that she didn't mean to do, and a hand came to her mouth in shock at herself for doing it. She watched his eyes widen at her sound, and she could tell he didn't understand why. "You shrugged your shoulders." She told him with a smile, then watched his eyes, a small sparkle moving into them, and her smile widened. 

Max leaned back over him, coming close to his face, her hand taking his. "You're coming back, Alec. Not too much longer." She said and kissed him lightly. She stood back up, found the remote and turned the TV on, she started to flip through the channels, then stopped. "Wait." She said and turned back to him. 

She moved his hand up to his leg, and set the remote in his hand, letting his thumb go over the channel button. She moved his head to look at the TV. "Okay, lets see, try and change the channel." She told him, and then watched his hands, as his thumb moved against the button, and the channel turned. "Great!" She said, then moved back in front of him, "At least you can decide what to watch." She told him, kissed him on the cheek, "Just don't wear out the batteries." 

She said with a wink. Then she picked up her bag, as Joshua was walking into the room. "Hey Josh, he's all set... with the remote control by the way." Then she walked over to him, "Oh, which reminds me, just check every so often to make sure he still has it, in case he drops it. Oh, and maybe ask him if he wants to do something else a few times."

Joshua sighed at her, "Max, go to work. Joshua can take care of Alec."

"Okay, but.. Just make sure that..."

"Go!" Joshua said, waving her off, "You going to be late."

"Geez, okay, I'm outta here." She said, moved back over to him, kissed him softly. "Be back later." Then she was out the door on her way to Jam Pony.

Cindy watched Max bouncing into the building and smiled at her, as she walked to the lockers. "Well, my Boo is certainly in a happy mood. Can I take it has something to do with 'your boy'?" She asked.

Max smiled at her, "Maybe." She said with a smile opening her locker. Then she turned to Cindy. "Oh Cindy, I told you last night. About him gripping my hand, and his eyes moving." And OC nodded with a smile. "We got to talk about a lot, and well.. he doesn't hate me for what happened." She said quietly, "But he is angry and hurt." She said her smile fading slightly.

"That's got to be expected Boo." OC said and Max nodded, "But, then what's got you so happy?"

The smile returned to her face, "Well we did a lot of talking, and everything last night, and then, well..." She trailed off, her smile getting bigger and bigger.

"Oh, Boo... you didn't!" OC's smile grew, "I knew that glowing smile came from somewhere!" She said.

Then they both spun around, "Man, the guy is basically in a coma and he still gets the chicks." Sketchy said, as he had just come in at the last bit of conversation. 

Max leaned over and lightly smacked him upside the head, he made and ouch face, and she laughed, "Teach you for listening in on other people's conversations." She said, but she couldn't hide the smile on her face, and she noticed the grins on her friends faces as well.

Cindy looked at her, "Why can I tell there is even more to this story?"

"Because I just can't keep a secret from you," She said to OC.

Sketchy laughed, "Or it's because the smile on your face is so huge." He said, coming over and wrapping an arm around her, his other hand rubbing the top of her head. 

She laughed and batted his hand away, threatening him with a look, and Cindy laughed. Max sighed, "Well, his arms are starting to work, he... held me, and shrugged his shoulders this morning. He's actually watching TV, using the remote." Sketchy and OC laughed at the last comment. Then she looked at OC, then up at Sketchy.

He looked at her, "Uhh, is this all girlie stuff now, and you want me to leave?" He asked her.

Max thought about it for a minute, "Nah, it's not that girlie. And, it's okay, I don't want you too leave Sketch." She told him truthfully. He had been a really great friend to both of them, and very understanding during everything. She looked at them, and then to OC, "Well... umm.. after." She said and rolled her eyes slightly, "I told him I loved him." She saw Sketchy shift uncomfortably against the locker, she almost laughed, but noticed he didn't move away or say anything. "And well, he squeezed his right hand, telling me yes."

Cindy's eyes widened, as she instantly understood, but Sketchy spoke, "Yes?"

Max smiled, "I wasn't sure at first, I didn't know what to make of it, so I asked him questions, and finally... I got my answer. He loves me too," She said, her smile growing even wider, and she threw herself into Cindy's arms, and she hugged her back tightly.

"I'm so happy for you Boo." She said.

"Yeah, Max. Me too, he really sounds like he's coming back too." 

She turned around to him, "Yeah, he is." She looked back at OC, "He really is."  
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Alec had watched a few different things during the day, but a lot of the time he was just clicking through the channels. He realized after a little while that it wasn't really because nothing was on, he just liked being able to do it. Joshua and him had 'talked' about a couple of his paintings, and some books that Joshua was reading. They had lunch together, and he had helped him with some exercises as well. 

As they had been working on his arms, he could feel the muscles in them slowly starting to work, and Joshua had said he had noticed that as well. But now he was sitting there again, watching the TV. *Commercial. Commercial. Old Movie. Commercial. Wait... back.* He thought, and slowly managed to move his thumb to the other button. *Oh, yeah, naked women, but it's the nature channel.* He thought with a sigh. *Commericial. Commercial. News. Commercial. Old Movie.* He went on again, clicking though the stations.

Then he heard the door open, and he left the channel on, knowing that she was home, and soon he could hear her footsteps come into the room. "I'm home, from hell." She said, but she didn't sound unhappy. He saw her walk in front of him, and felt her set down. "Find anything to watch?" She asked.

"Yeah, lots. Click, Click, Click." Joshua chimed in from behind the canvas.

Max laughed slightly next to him, "Have you been bugging him by channel surfing all day?" She said looking into his eyes. He chuckled slightly in his mind, *I try.* He thought, and then felt her move back on the couch. "Ugh, my feet." He heard her say and saw a flash of movement out of the corner of his eyes, and then caught her feet resting up on the table. He knew she was just complaining, heck, she rode a bike all day, she didn't walk. She just wanted to complain, and he laughed slightly again to himself.

"I just want to sit here and relax for awhile. So what are we watching?" She asked, and he knew she really wasn't looking for an answer, but he was curious too, because he hadn't been paying attention. He looked up at the screen, and realized it was the news. He was about to change it, like he had all day when it came on, but the images had him freeze. 

The TV reporter was talking about the Transgenic threat, and he heard Max talk, "Let's change the channel." She had said, and he felt her try and take the remote, but his hand firmly gripped it, telling her not to take it. "Fine, fine." He heard her say, as he watched.

The reporter was talking about how some more transgenics were spotted, but had escaped. Then a whirl of activity, as the reporter was trying to chase down someone for a story. The person turned to push the reporter out of the way, and the face flooded his mind. *White.* The image hit him, hard. The remote dropped from his hand, as more thoughts, started to invade his brain. 

His hands feel to his sides, his hands gripped at the couch cushions, tightly, as words, voices, images ran through him. Laughing, more laughing, that voice, White's voice. The pain running through his body, with the sounds of laughter echoing through the room. *No... No, not again.* His brain screamed, as his mind replayed the memories.  
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Max saw the image on the TV, and then she heard the remote hit the floor. She quickly looked over at him, and then moved in front of him. She picked up the remote, and turned the power off, over her shoulder, and sat it down fast. She looked at him, "Alec?" She said. 

His knuckles were white, he was gripping the couch so hard, she could see his muscles strained in his arms, his hands. His eyes were closed tightly, as if he was trying to stop from seeing. She could see the light sheen of sweat already coming across is forehead. *Oh, God, he's having flashbacks.* She thought. "Alec?" She said again, her hands reached out for his, touching him, trying to comfort him.

And then she was choking, her hands immediately going to her neck, to his hand around her neck, gripping her with all it's worth. "Joshua..." She choked out, barely audible. Her hands were trying to release his hold, but surprisingly his grip was too strong, her wide eyes, now looking into his that were open. Open, looking at her with anger, hate, fear, and she realized he didn't see her at all.


	24. Chapter 24

The pain, the laughter ran through him, more and more, and then he felt the touch, he strained at his bonds, and something realized his arms were free, they shot out, shot out at the person's touch, the person's voice, grabbing hold, strangling it. *I'll kill you.* He thought looking at White, his hand around his neck, squeezing.

"Alec! Let go!" Joshua's voice, entered his mind like a knife, his mind clearing slightly, his vision returning.

The image of Max struggling in his grip, his hand around her neck, Joshua trying to pry his fingers from her. He couldn't breath, and his hand immediately let go dropping back to his side, his eyes wide. He watched her hands go to her neck, her taking need breaths. Joshua gripping her shoulders, asking if she was okay, her nodding yes slowly. He saw the purple marks on her neck, the imprints of his fingers.

He closed his eyes at the sight, *Oh, God. What did I do?* He thought, "I've hurt her, I almost killed her." His pain and memories of a moment before fading away at the thought of what he almost did. The anger and fear replaced with guilt and then a different type of fear. What if he did this again? What if he did it while he was asleep with her? What if Joshua wasn't there?

*Oh no, what have I done?* He asked himself again.  
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Max rubbed her neck lightly, and she looked up into Joshua's worried face. "I'm okay, really." She said, and patted him on the hand. Joshua looked at Alec, and then back to her. "He just had some very unpleasant memories, from the TV showing White's face." She said, and Joshua nodded in understanding.

"Little Fella, Alec didn't know.."

She nodded, "I know Josh, I know he didn't know it was me." She said looking back at Alec, hoping he heard her. She patted Josh on the hand again, and he nodded and went back to his painting. She was about to reach for his hand again, and thought better of it. "Alec?" She asked tentatively. She saw his eye lids tighten, and realized he didn't want to look at her.

"Alec, please open your eyes."  
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He didn't want too, he didn't want to look at her. He was angry with himself, for what he had done, what he had almost done. But with her pleading voice, he opened his eyes, and then he saw the marks on her neck, that were turning a deep shade of purple, and he closed his eyes again, a large lump forming in his throat.

*I hurt her.* He thought, as memories of his flashbacks tried to come back to his mind once again, and he pushed them away harder. *No, don't remember. They caused this, they caused me to lose control, they caused me to hurt her.*

"Alec, please."

He could hear her soft words, and it tore at his heart even more. *How can she sound so concerned about me after I just tried to kill her?* But he also knew that she wasn't touching him, that she afraid too. She was afraid he would lash back out at her if he was still having those damn flashbacks. *That's right Max, don't touch me, just stay away from me.*

"Alec, look at me." He could hear her voice begging him. "I know you didn't know it was me. I know you did mean to do it. I understand. Please, open your eyes."

He struggled against he request, then finally opened his eyes again, and they looked over her, seeing the imprints of his fingers perfectly displayed on her throat, but the look in her eyes showed nothing but worry towards him. And he just wanted to yell at her, yell and tell her to run, to get away from him while she still could. 

Alec watched her hand slowly moving towards his, and he realized she was doing it on purpose, letting him realize what she was doing, so as not to scare him. But when her fingertips touched his hand, his arm pulled it away slightly, and he saw the look on her face. While he didn't want to admit it, he knew that from his little slip from reality, he had gained back the movement in his arms almost fully. And he knew that Max had also figured it out, but neither were celebrating.  
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She watched his hand retreat from hers and she sighed. She wished she could be moving over to him, seeing how much he had improved, but that was impossible. Because things had become very bad, *Very, very bad.* She thought as she looked into his eyes, and saw the fear that was there, the fear, pain, and guilt. While she knew the fear should be there from what he had just re-experienced, it wasn't that type that was written in them.

Max knew that he was having trouble with what he did because of it, he blamed himself for hurting her. And now he didn't want to her to touch him, afraid that he would do it again, that he would lose control again. She reached out again for his hands, and he continued to pull away from her. "Alec!" She said, her tone coming out much harsher than she intended, and she saw the slight waver in his eyes from her yell. *Shit, I didn't mean to do that.* She thought, and tried again in a softer tone, but still with a slight edge. Knowing that he just wasn't going to listen to her, if she wasn't firm.

"Alec, stop this." She said, her hands reaching out faster than his, and gripping them both. She could feel him try to pull away, but she held them harder. "Don't pull away from me." She watched his stare into hers, and she continued. "I'm okay. Really." She told him, even though it was slightly a lie, her throat did hurt, and she was hoping that the marks she knew she had, by the way he kept looking down at her throat, were probably very visible. She hoped they would be gone by tomorrow, not only for work, but for him as well.

In fact, she had been very surprised at his grip, not only from the shock of him doing it, but that even in his weakened condition he had never showed that much strength against her before. And from the fear on his face, and the guilt he had there, she wondered just how much he had always held back from her when they fought not to hurt her, and if it was that reason that he so feared his lack of control.

But she didn't want to think about that now, she only wanted to get the man before her, to trust himself enough again, to allow her to still be there to help him though this. "Don't blame yourself for this, this is White's fault, not yours." She told him and watched him tense at the name. She moved on the couch next to him, "Don't push me away, not now. We are making to much progress now. Don't you dare give up on me."  
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He listened to her words, but he still didn't want to listen. He was still to afraid of what he might do if more memories came back, worse memories, much worse, then the ones he was remembering. He could feeling them clawing at the back of his consciousness, trying to pull him into the darkness.

He felt the grip on his hand, and his eyes focused back at her, her face full of concern, and love towards him, *Oh Max.* He thought, *You're my only light, but I'll only end up hurting you again.*

"Remember we need each other, Alec. I need you too." He heard her, but he didn't want to believe her. He felt her take her one hand away from his and bring it slowly to the side of his face. "I love you, Alec." He closed her eyes tightly, her words hurting his heart even more. "And I know you love me." He squeezed her hand slightly. 

"So instead of pushing me away because of this... pull me closer." His mind heard her words and wrapped around them, "Fight the feeling to push away, don't let them win Alec. If you run, if you hide, they win." He knew what she was doing, but for some reason, he was letting himself go with it. 

He could feel her slowly moving closer to him, knew that she was doing it deliberately as not to scare him, have him pull away. Soon she had somehow managed to end up sitting on his lap, having wrapped his arms around her, her hands cupping his face, looking into his eyes. Her soft voice, her encouraging words distracting him from what she was doing. 

He finally gave in, gave into her pleading eyes and voice, and promised himself that no matter what, he would never hurt her again, no matter what he had to do. And then he moved his arms to wrap around her, and brought her against his chest, and watched her smile at him, her eyes showing that she realized she had finally won the argument. 

Alec felt her face move into his neck, and nuzzle against his skin, her body relaxing against him, as her arms went around him, as they held onto one another. Sitting there quietly, both not noticing that Joshua had switched canvases, and was now working on a new painting.  
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Neither of them moved for a long time, both just taking comfort from the other. Max closed her eyes, as she leaned against him, feeling his breathing, and steady heart beat next to her, his arms holding her to him. Now that things were calmer, she could let herself think about everything else. Now that his arms were working again, basically, he would be able to do more, *A lot more.* While she was sure it was going to take awhile for him to get full dexterity back, she knew it wouldn't take him long.

She wanted to get excited, and see what all he could do, but Max still knew that it wasn't the right time just yet. They needed to work back to the comfort level they had before. Her hand moved over his back slowly, and up into the back of his hair, her fingers running through it, and then she giggled. Then stopped almost immediately, not meaning to. She felt him slightly tense against her, and she pulled away to look at him. "Don't think that was at you." She said very quickly.

The confused look in his hazel eyes, made her smile softly at him. Her hand moving back into his hair, and then raising her fingertips in it. "I just realized..." She thought, and smiled wider, "I just realized you haven't had your hair cut since before I brought you here." She could see the confusion still in his eyes, and then she almost laughed, and relief slightly washed though her, as he rolled his eyes at her. *Well, he's back to his old self, at least a little bit.* She thought.

She decided to go with the new topic, maybe distract him from the other, at least for now. Then she realized something else, "Oh my, you haven't even seen yourself in the mirror in how long?" She asked him, and then her grin widened, "That must be difficult on you huh?" She asked in a teasing voice, and she got another roll of his eyes. 

Her hands moved into his hair, and started to play with it, "Seriously, it's really, really long." She told him, not believing that she hadn't even noticed it. Her fingers went thought it again, and started pulling it together at the back of his neck, and she laughed again. "I seriously think I can get a good ponytail out of it."

Max laughed harder as his eyes widened in partial shock, "I told you!" She said, then she leaned in closer, "Do you want a hair cut?" She asked him, and watched his eyes move up and down, and she smiled at his 'yes'. She grinned mischievously at him, "Trust me enough to do it?" She asked, and then lightly hit his shoulder, as his eyes went back and forth. "Hey!" She snapped slightly, but without any malice.

"Either I give you a hair cut, or I start braiding your hair." His eyes widened at her threat. "So, can I cut your hair?" She asked again, and his eyes quickly moved up and down, and she smiled. "Good, buzz cut it is then." She laughed at his shocked look again, and she patted him on the shoulder, as she moved out of his hold and stood up. "You're too easy to tease." She told him, and then leaned back over. "Like I would get rid of something that I love running my fingers though." She said into his ear, and then as an after thought, lightly bit at his ear lobe. She felt the small shiver go through him, and smiled.

"Let me get everything ready, and I'll be right back." She left the room, and soon was back and hauling him to his feet, pulling him into the kitchen. She sat him in the chair in front of the sink, wrapped a towel around his neck, then turned on the faucet, letting the water warm up.   
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He watched her move back in front of him, her hands going to the sides of his face. "Now, just relax." Her heard her, as she moved him back, and he felt her tip his head back over the sink, and watched her take a large glass of water, and start to move it over his head. He felt the warm water soaking into his hair, and the fingers of her other hand moving through it.

Alec closed his eyes, and focused on her touch. Allowed the comfort to wash over him, but for some reason, the comforting feeling didn't stay for long. Because soon she was leaning over him, her body pressed against his side, her chest over his face, as her hands started to work the shampoo into his hair. For some reason he knew this wasn't going to be like any hair cut he had ever gotten before.


	25. Chapter 25

Max worked the shampoo into his hair and scalp with her fingertips, and looked down at his face. His eyes looked up at her, *Well, sometimes.* She noticed and tried not to laugh as she watched his eyes move from her face, then down her front to stop at her chest and then back up again. *There's my Alec.* She thought with a slight grin, and then looked back at her task. Her hands moved down the back of his head, her fingers massaging his scalp and then towards the back of his neck.

She noticed his eyes close at that, and continued, seeing how he seemed to completely relax as she continued. She let her hands move in a little more, rubbing at the spot between his head and neck. If it wasn't for his hand lightly grabbing at the back of her one knee, she would have thought he was asleep. 

Max started to move her fingers to the sides of his head, but his head moved slightly into her hands again, and her fingers stilled. She smiled, and started again, rubbing at the muscles in his neck, bringing up her thumbs to rub in small circles around the side of his head, her grin getting bigger as she felt his head push against her hands. 

She leaned down and kissed his forehead lightly, and then looked down to see his eyes open, looking at her. She moved her hands slightly up further to top of his head, and she saw his head move again in protest, as she looked him in the eyes. She watched his eyes as he finally figured it out, and saw the sparkle in them, then saw the concentration there as she watched him slowly move his head to the side slightly, and then to the other. The movements slow, and shaky but there. 

When he stopped and looked back at her, she smiled, "Okay, let me get this soap out of your hair, and then we can sit you back up." She said, taking the cup again, and filling it with water.  
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Alec felt the warm water start to run back over his head once again, and relaxed into her touch, as she rinsed the soap from his hair. *How can so many things happen in one day?* He thought to himself. In the last twenty-four hours they had made love, she had found out that he loved her, his arms had begun to work, his head was now moving, he was now getting a very interesting hair cut, and... *I tried to kill her.* That thought made him cringe. 

Part of him knew that it was just the flashbacks, that they had caused him to lash out, that she was fine, and it wasn't his fault. But the other part of him was warning him, warning him of what was to come, how easily he had lost control, lost control over a memory that wasn't that bad. Not as bad as he knew others would be. That part telling him he was a danger, to himself and mostly to her. 

*If Joshua wasn't there, would I have snapped out of it? Would I have woken up in time? What if next time I don't try and strangle her, what if I just decide to break her neck?* He tried to push the thought away, the thoughts were such a huge contrast to the gentle fingers and touches that she was giving him. His worried thoughts so different from the loving caresses that he was feeling, that he was craving from her. 

He tried to push the fear away, and concentrate on what she was making him feel, those feelings making him get better, making him whole again. But that's the thought that worried him most. Because it seemed like the better he got, the more control he got over his body, the less he had over his mind. It seemed the more progress he was making in getting his motor functions back, the less control he had over his memories. The more he could move, the more he could do, meant all the more that he could hurt her again. 

But the thoughts were pushed to the back again, when he heard the water turn off, and her hands bringing him back to a sitting position. He watched a smile come onto her face, and then figured out why, when he noticed his head had turned to look at her and she didn't do it that time. "Here we go." She said, as she walked around behind him, and felt a brush start to go through his hair. "Wow, I still can't believe I let it get this long." He heard her say, and he rolled his eyes.

He heard the brush set down, and then she came back in front of him, "I know, you don't believe me, so take a look for yourself." She said, and then she held up a mirror to him, and he looked into it. And he was in shock at what he saw. Yeah his hair was really long, a good two inches or more longer than what he usually wore, but that isn't what he was looking at. 

Alec took a look at his reflection in the mirror, and he couldn't believe what was staring back at him. *Is this what she sees?* He asked himself, because the man starring back at him, barely seemed familiar at all. His face looked, *Hollow.* His lips set with no expression to them at all, his eyes even looked dim. He could tell he had lost a lot of weight in his face, and wondered what the rest of him looked like.   
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At first she thought it would have been a good idea to have him look in the mirror for a laugh at how long his hair was, and then by the look in his eyes, she realized her mistake. *He has had the image of what he looked like before in his head this whole time, and I just crushed that.* She thought, mentally kicking herself. 

Yeah, he didn't look the same, but that couldn't be helped. He had gained some of the weight back he had lost while there, but he couldn't get it totally back with what they could feed him right now, he needed real food. His body couldn't be back to what it was exactly, because even though they did exercises, it wasn't the same as him doing them, or moving around himself. And until he got back all his muscle control, his face wouldn't have that same smile. And she had no idea when she would ever see that spark in his eyes again. 

She slowly pulled the mirror away, and saw him stare at it, then look up at her, his eyes telling her everything that she had thought he was thinking about, his eyes questioning, full of doubt, worry. Her hand came softly to the side of his face, and she leaned in softly, and kissed him, then pulled back to look at him again.

"Alec, I'm sorry. I didn't think." She sighed, and really wished she knew exactly what he was thinking, so that she could say something to help. She was worried that if she said something now, that she might say the wrong thing, say something he wasn't even thinking and then make it even worse. So she decided to just be honest, "I know, you don't look the same." She said, taking his hand, "But you are coming back, and..." she said with a smile, "If you couldn't tell... I still think you're hot." She said her grin becoming wider, hoping that it would put a little spark into his eyes, but she noticed it didn't. So to make her point she leaned in and kissed him again.  
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He felt her lips against his, but his mind only thought, *Don't lie to me Max. I saw the mirror. How can you love someone that looks completely devoid of emotion, of feeling at all?* He didn't understand, but she somehow did, because she was there kissing him. 

She pulled away slightly, and he watched her smile at him, "Okay, let's get this haircut done, shall we?" She said again, then moving behind him. He felt her fingers going through his hair once again, and he could feel her rubbing the muscles, obviously trying to get him to relax again. And then her felt her start to lift the hair, and heard a few snips of the scissors. 

Alec tried to just push those thoughts away, and he almost wanted to laugh, *I'm going to need to get a bigger rug in my mind, with everything I keep sweeping under the carpet.* He shook his head slightly at the thought, and felt Max's hands go to the sides of his head, and a slightly noise from her.

"Alec, it's wonderful that you can move your head, but... uh ... can you keep it still while I do this?" She asked, and he almost laughed at the sound of her voice. It was a mixture of happiness yet also annoyance. His mind laughed again, at the thought that he hadn't even realized that he had done it. "Laugh all you want, if you get a crooked hair cut, it's not my fault!" 

*How did she know I was laughing at her?* He thought, a smile forming in his mind. He continued to feel her hands move through his hair, and hear the snips of the scissors, soon she was moving back in front of him, and she moved herself in-between his legs, and crouched down, to look at him eye level. He watched her, and saw her intent on her work. Making sure that she was getting the same length on both sides.

He didn't mind her not paying attention to him, his eyes scanned her face. Her big brown eyes, her cute little nose, those big pouty, red lips, that long, graceful neck that led down her chest. The way she was leaning, giving him a great view down her shirt, teasing him with her cleavage, teasing him with it, yet he already knew what was there, what her shirt was covering. 

When she pulled back to look again, her eyes caught his, he felt her hand move to the side of his face tipping his head back, and then she was leaning down, her eyes dark and large, then closed slightly before her lips met his. His eyes closed at the sensation, between his legs her body pressed up against his. His arms moved around the backs of her legs, pulling her closer to him.

Her mouth pulled away slightly and his head moved towards her, brushing his lips against hers, and she moaned slightly. Her lips coming back to claim his again.   
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She had felt his head move, felt him move his head to be able to brush his lips against hers, and it almost brought tears to her eyes. It was the closest thing to a real kiss that she had gotten from him, and with that her mouth was kissing him again, more passionately. His hands were moving at the back of her knees, and were slowly working their way up the back of her legs, and it was making her weak, as she pressed herself closer to him. 

Her tongue moved into his mouth, tasting him, and she moaned into the kiss, as she felt his hands now gripping her ass, pressing her hips against him. She cussed slightly at the height of the chair, feeling her hips against the top of his abs, and not lower, were her thighs were pressed. She felt his one hand work its way up her back, and she was losing herself at the feel of his touch. Having craved it for so long, the simple movement was almost to much for her, as it moved up and over her shoulder, and then at the back of her neck, into her hair.

Then she felt his hand pulling her head more against his, making her deepen the kiss even more, and then she felt it, and instead of moving to look at him in shock, her body went with it. Her lips moving against his, his slowly starting to move against hers. She could feel his other hand join his other in her hair, and then move down over her cheek, grasping at her face, trying to pull her even closer. 

His lips now starting to move more powerfully against hers, and she was losing all coherent thought. She couldn't breath, she was drowning in his kiss, her body slightly trembling, and all she felt was him pulling her closer. She pulled away for a second, her eyes closed, as she took a deep breath, her eyes opening to look at him. 

She watched his mouth open, the breaths coming from it, and then she almost died at the small smile that played out on those lips. But it didn't last long, because the next thing she knew his hands were pulling her face back to his, and his lips were crushed against her once more. It was like he was a starving man, and he was devouring her, but she welcomed it, welcomed the passion that she could feel coming from him, the passion that she had so longed to feel from him, was pouring out of him, and she was more than willing to suck it all up. 

She wanted to pull him closer, run both her hands over him, she moved slightly to set the scissors down, and he stopped pulling back to look at her questioning her movement. She stopped and looked at him, "Need to set the scissors down." She said slightly out of breath, showing him them. Then she let out a gasp as his hand caught her wrist sharply, his eyes starting at the shiny, silver metal scissors. 

Her eyes watched his, she could swear she could almost see the images dance across his eyes, as they looked at them, and her mind didn't even want to comprehend what they were having him remember. She felt his grip on her wrist, felt the tendons being pressed together painfully, but she didn't say anything, *It's not that.... bad.* She thought, not wanting to let him know otherwise. She softly, spoke. "Alec..."

His head spun to her, and his eyes softened almost immediately, and his hand dropped from her wrist. His head then falling forward slightly, she noticed his eyes closing as he did so. She moved the scissors out of sight, and then tilted his head up to look at her. "It's okay." She said, her fingers playing over the soft skin of his cheek, "It's okay." She looked at him, moved his head up straight. "Stay still, don't move, and close your eyes." She said softly, and he did so. Her hands moved over the hair and smoothed down the hair in the front, it moving over his eyes slightly. 

"Just try and relax, let me get this over with." She said softly, and took a deep breath. She took the hair between her fingers and made sure the metal didn't touch his skin, and she started to trim. She saw his body tense at the sound of every snip from then on, and it made her cringe. She hurried as best she could and then she quickly moved and set them back on the counter. Her hands traveled back through his hair, "Okay, I'm all done." She said, knowing that instead of dwelling on what happened, it was probably better to just move on. 

Max moved back over to him, and tilled his head to look up at her, and she smiled at him. "Much better," she said. She took out the mirror again, and showed him her handy work. "Not to bad, if I do say so myself."  
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He really wasn't paying attention to her, his mind still trying to deal with what happened. *I did it again.* He yelled at himself, *I let my memories take hold over me again, and over a stupid pair of scissors.* His mind shuttered at the thought, *No, don't even think about it. Just another thing to sweep under the rug, just keep it under there.* He thought, and tried to listen to Max. 

Alec's eyes focused on the mirror that she had put in front of him, and then he actually let himself smile, and this time, it actually smiled back at him, he looked up at Max, and saw a similar one on her face. He looked back down at his reflection. *So this is the haircut that she likes.* He thought, *If I would have known, I would have worn it like this more often.* He saw the smile on his own face, and then he remembered what they had been doing a few minutes before.

His hand came up slowly and pushed away the mirror, and she gave him a funny look, and he motioned with her hand for her to come closer. The smile on her face growing bigger, he knew she was happy at how much he was being able to move, but she had no idea how nice it was for him to be able to do so. When she was in reach, his hand lightly grabbed her arm, and pulled her back to him, his other hand moving slowly, pulling her back down to him, and he caught the small grin before his lips claimed hers once more, and then her slight moan, as his hand pressed her more firmly against his hungry mouth.


	26. Chapter 26

Max felt his lips crushed against hers, his hand entangled in her hair, at the back of her head, his other arm around her, pulling her body close, and she couldn't believe it. She couldn't believe that she was actually feeling his kiss, allowed to feel this passion, all coming from him, *Towards me.* She thought, losing herself in the feel, the taste of his kiss, the passion from him that she had feared that she would never get to feel. 

She quickly moved his legs together, and moved to sit on his lap, her legs coming to his sides, as she leaned into him, her arms going around his neck. She could feel him starting to stiffen under her, and it made her groan. She felt his hand move down her back and towards her hips, pulling her more firmly against him, and she moaned again at the feeling. A small fragment of her mind reminded her that she was in the kitchen, and Joshua was just in the other room, but when his tongue moved into her mouth, she lost all semblance of thought, and her hips ground down against him.  
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Alec couldn't get enough of her, now that he could move, kiss her back, taste her, he couldn't stop. And from her sounds and the way she was responding to him, it was pretty obvious that she didn't either. Then he felt her hands moving up under his shirt, her fingertips trailing over his skin, and he pulled her against him again, his mind groaning at the feel of her against his growing erection. He felt her moan into the kiss, and he smiled slightly, knowing that she felt it too. His hands moved to her back, and he titled his head slightly, and she made a small protesting sound when he broke from the kiss, but then a loud sigh of pleasure came to his ears, as his lips traveled over her neck.

He felt her move her head to allow him to continue, and his lips turned into a wider smile, as he moved over her skin, leaving gentle kisses. She moved her body against his again, and his tongue darted out, tasting her. A gasp, a rocking of her hips, and her hands moving further up his shirt, was her response. He felt her gathering up his shirt and he pulled away enough for her to move it up and off him, the material falling beside the chair, her face moving to his neck. 

He could feel her breath, hear her taking in his scent, and then her lips and tongue at his shoulder. *Oh, Max...* He thought, as she moved against him again, making him so hard it hurt, yet his arms still pushed her down onto him again. Then they traveled back up, and under the back of her shirt. His fingertips, trailing across her back bone, this thumbs up her sides, as the shirt started to move up with his hands.   
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She felt his hands on her warm skin, and shuddered slightly, feeling him slowly pulling up her shirt. She pulled back looking into his eyes, as his hand moved slowly, from her back to her sides, his thumbs moving to her front, and she closed her eyes, taking in his touch, having longed for it, for so long. And it felt better than she had ever dreamed. 

His fingers moved up under her halter as well, and she gasped as his thumbs traced the swell under each of her breasts, and she tilted her head back slightly, moving her hips again, causing her to groan once again, the feel of him pressed up against her. And then her eyes shot open, her head spinning around, catching Alec's do the same out of the corner of her eye, at the sound of a voice.

"Whoah, uhh... sorry Boo."

Max's eyes opened wider, "Cindy? Uhh.. what?" She could barely find her voice. Then she saw Joshua come up behind her, and almost immediately put a hand over his face.

"Oops, Max and Alec getting busy." 

She heard OC laugh, and felt Alec's hands drop from underneath her shirt. She looked at him, and saw the amused smile on his face, and wanted to smack him because she knew in his head he was laughing. But then she saw his eyes, the desire still burning in them, and the evidence was still there, poking at her from below. "Uhh..." She didn't know what to say, and she knew Alec couldn't explain.

Cindy turned to Joshua, "Hey Big Fella, how about we go back into the living room. And they can join us, in a few minutes." Joshua nodded, and turned with his hand still over his eyes, and walked out of the kitchen. OC laughed, and looked back at the two. "Unless, you want me to... uh... take Joshua somewhere for awhile." She said with a wink.

Max groaned, and almost took her up on the offer, when she felt Alec's hand still at her hip, his thumb having worked its way under the waistband of her pants. "We'll be out in a few." She said, closing her eyes. She heard the humorus laugh and then OC's footsteps leave the room.

She turned back to Alec, and saw his eyes then sighed. "Trust me, I don't like this either." She said, then looked at him. "Well at least say something." She said, and he gave her a look. "Oh don't give me that. With the way you were kissing me, you might not have a voice, but I can still read lips." The look he gave was priceless, as he realized she was right, and he hadn't thought of it. 

His hands pulled her more firmly against him, and she groaned, then watched his lips. ~Later~

She smiled, and nodded at him, "You can count on it." His grin became wider, and she leaned in and gave him another kiss, and then pulled back with a sigh, standing up. She felt his hands try to stop her. "Alec... we both need to calm down before we go out there," She looked down at his lap, a smile on her lips and a glint in her eyes, "Especially you." 

She watched him roll his eyes, and his lips moved again, ~Can't help myself.~

Max leaned against the counter and took a deep breath, and then laughed, she caught the questioning look, and she explained. "The look on their faces..." She laughed again, "Especially Joshua's."

She saw the movement on his lips and face, it was almost a laugh, and she smiled at it. *God, it's like he's back.* And then she realized, he was. No, he may not be saying something, with a voice, and he may not be able to just get up and walk, but he was back. Alec was back. Even through the nightmares, and flashbacks, he was there. His eyes looking at her, his mouth smiling, his lips now moving, though not with a voice, but still with words. 

She watched him close his eyes, and realized he was trying to mentally calm down, as much as she was, trying to get this over with, get out there and talk to them, so that they could... *Move on to bigger and oh so better things.* She stood up, "Okay, let's get this over with." She said, picked up his shirt, and pulled it over his head. Her straightened it out on himself, she then pulled him to his feet, and started to walk them into the living room. Once there she sat him down on the couch, and then sat next to him. Joshua was sitting in the chair, and Cindy had been sitting on the armrest next to him, talking to him.

Cindy turned to them, and smiled, then Max noticed her eyes go wide, as she felt Alec's arm go around her, and pulled her against his side. Max's heart almost did a flip, she hadn't expected it, but she settled quickly against him, and felt his nose nuzzle into the top of her head. Her eyes went back to OC, her face still in shock, but a large smile forming.

"Oh, yeah, Cindy, didn't you know. Alec, here has been making vast improvements." She said and then laughed. 

"I can see that!" Cindy said, and lightly hit Joshua on the shoulder, "Why didn't you tell me?"

Joshua looked up at her, "I didn't know all of it."

"Well, this calls for a celebration." Cindy said looking over at Joshua. "How about I get Sketchy over here..."

Cindy was going on, about what to do, and Max felt Alec's hand patting her on the knee. She looked up at him, his eyes pleading with her, then his lips moving. ~No... no, party.... They will be here all night.~

She laughed, and that caught OC's attention and she stopped her party planning, "What?"

Max shook her head, she felt the same way he did. "Cindy, it's just been such a long day already. And, he's probably pretty tired from making so much progress, I think he might need a rest." She said rubbing his leg slightly, and she caught the smile on his lips.

Then she heard the sound from Cindy, "Yeah, right. He's real tired by the way you too were going at it back there." Max tried not to let the redness in her cheeks get any brighter. "You two just want to get back to business." She eyed the two of them, but the grin on her face, told them that she was happy about it, for the both of them. "But you al' need to eat. So let's have some dinner, so he can... regain his strength." She said with a wink.

Max sighed, and then she sat up and looked at him, "Hey! You might be able to handle regular food, on your own." She realized, remember just how well his mouth seemed to be working. "You decide what you want to eat."  
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Alec's mind did a complete one eighty at her words. One second he wanted nothing more than Cindy to leave and Joshua to go as well. Nothing against either one of them, but his mind was on something, or someone else at the moment. But then, Max's words entered his head, and for some reason, his stomach was winning out even over his other want. *Real food?* Could he actually handle it. He swallowed experimentally, and realized that it might just work. He moved his one hand slowly, and thought that it might work enough to grasp a fork or spoon.

He thought about his options, he knew it wasn't like he could have anything, being practical, it wasn't like he could just ask for lobster or something. But his medical training also kicked in slightly, and remembered that he hadn't ate real food in a long time, so he had to make a good choice, or his body would really regret it later. *God, pizza sounds so good. Ohhh or a good stake and potato....* His mouth was watering at the idea, but he knew that his stomach would go on strike if he tried to eat anything that heavy or spicy. 

He saw Max and everyone staring at him, waiting for an answer, and his mind tried to think of something that would be easy to on his stomach, easy to eat, but that he also kinda liked. And then it hit him, he almost laughed, but was sure that they would have the ingredients in the house. "What, what is it?" He heard her ask.

He let his lips move, trying at the same time to voice it, but the voice didn't come. ~Mac and cheese with hot dogs.~ He saw the look on her face of utter disbelief and he almost laughed, and then she did. 

She stopped, "Wait? Did I read that right. You said Mac and cheese with hot dogs?" He nodded his head at her, and he saw Cindy laugh and Joshua get a huge smile on his face, and stand up quickly.

"Mac and cheese with little hot dogs for Alec!" He said, moving quickly into the kitchen. 

He saw Max turn back to him, "Are you serious? Not Pizza, or Chinese, or Steak, or anything?"

~To heavy, to much.~ He told her, trying to explain. 

Then he watched her eyes close and her nod her head in understanding. "I didn't even think of that." She told him, and her hand came to the side of his face, and leaned down and kissed him softly. His hands moved around her bringing her closer, deepening the kiss, and then he stopped abruptly, with the sound of someone clearing their throat.

"I'm still here." Came OC's voice, and the two transgenics turned to look at her and smile. "Geez, what are you two going to be like when he gets his full motor functions back." Cindy shook her head and laughed harder, when he winked at her, and gave her his cocky grin. He felt the small hit to his shoulder, and turned back to Max, but all he saw was her smile, and the sparkle in her eyes.

Soon dinner was ready, and the four of them were sitting around the dinner table. Max was sitting right next to him, and he looked around the table, as three pairs of eyes were on him. He could feel the pressure, it was like they were all waiting for some huge thing to happen, and it was just him trying to eat. *God, stop looking at me!* He wanted to scream, he looked at Max, hoping for some help, but she was also looking at him, waiting. 

*Fine, fine, let's try this.* He thought, and brought his arm to the table, resting his elbow on it, *Damn the table mannors,* he thought, as he moved his hand to try and pick up the fork. For a second he actually had to try and remember how it was you were supposed to hold the damn thing. He fumbled with it slightly, and he mentally sighed, he caught the looks out of the corner of his eye, and he wanted to scream for them to stop looking at him. It just made it that much harder. 

He tried again, and the fork moved further away from him across the table. He saw Max try to reach for it, and his other hand shot out, grabbing her wrist, and he shook his head no. He was going to do this on his own. Alec reached for it again, and this time he had it. While he held it more like a two year old, in his fist, like a shovel, *At least I'm holding the damn thing.* He thought. 

He cussed slightly at himself, *Why can I move my hands so much easier over her. They do what I want them to then.* He thought, and then realized it was because those movements were more a second thought as to what he was feeling, *And you don't have three other pair of eyes staring at you.*

He finally got some onto the fork, and he leaned his head down a little, and brought it up to his mouth, the fork shaking slightly, and he swore he could almost hear everyone hold their breaths, and he had to restrain himself from rolling his eyes. He opened his mouth, and actually got it in, and he closed his eyes. He couldn't believe it, it actually tasted ... *Fucking fantastic.* He thought, his eyes opening, wide, a smile on his face.

Then everyone around him laughed, he knew the look on his face, must have been making him look like an idiot, but he didn't care. After months of not being able to taste anything, or just eating that stuff out of the jars, this tasted great. Heck at that moment, a gourmet meal wouldn't have tasted any better. Then came the next step, after he had managed to chew it, he swallowed. He felt Max's hand going into his other, and gripping it slightly. 

Alec looked over at her, and smiled. "How was it?" She asked.

He smiled at her, ~Fantastic.~

She smiled wider, and turned to Joshua, "He said it's fantastic, Big Fella."

"Good," He felt the pat to his shoulder from Josh, "Everyone eat up."

And they did, but about halfway through, he had to stop, and he put his fork down. He saw Max turn to him, concern on her face, "Are you okay?" She asked.

He nodded yes, and looked at her, ~Can't eat anymore. To much. To fast.~ His lips told her. Her hand moved over and laid over his stomach, rubbing it slightly, and his hand settled over hers, patted it. She took her hand back, and went back to eating.  
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Soon dinner was over, and Max was walking back into the living room, having just walked OC to the door, telling her she'd see her tomorrow at work. Then Cindy told her to go have 'fun' with her boy. She saw Alec sitting on the couch, and he turned to look at her, she smiled at him, and then decided she would take Cindy's advice. "Well, it's been a long day." She said, moving closer to him, but basically talking to Joshua who was sitting in the chair reading another book. "I think we're going to head for bed."

"Max and Alec going to get busy." He said and Max almost choked.

"What?"

"Continue from before." He said.

Max shook her head, "Uhh," She looked at Alec, and she could see the absolute amusement in his eyes. And she closed her eyes, and then laughed. "Yep, that's right Josh, we sure are. You might want to turn some music on." She said, and watched as Alec's eyes got bigger, and she laughed even louder, realizing that she had surprised him. She pulled him to his feet, and started moving back to the bedroom, and almost tripped at Joshua's words.

"Have fun."  
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Soon he found himself back in his bedroom, sitting on the bed, the door closed, locked, and her moving back over to him, pushing him back on the bed, crawling over him. He smiled up at her, his hands moving up over her, and then pulling her down to him, her head to his, his mouth to hers, crushing his lips against hers. Her tongue darting out at his lips, his mouth opening to allow her entrance, his mind groaning, as her taste again invaded him, and his tongue dueled back against hers. 

Her hips moved against his, and his one hand moved down her back, and pushed her closer to him. He wanted nothing more to roll them both over, and settle himself between her legs, grinding himself against her, but he knew that wasn't going to happen right then. While a certain part of his anatomy was working below his waist, and he could feel everything, he still wasn't able to move under his own control. And that was evident, that his hips still had a mind of their own, when they jerked up at her when she ground her hips down on him again. 

She sat up, and his eyes shut for a second at the movement, and then her arms were pulling him up in a sitting position, her legs straddling his once again. He sighed slightly, and swore to himself, that when his lower body was working, she was going to be spending a lot more time on her back. The thought put a wicked smile on his face, and she caught it. His hands went to her hips, and pulled her against him harder, and they both moaned. He looked into her eyes, and mouthed the words, ~I want you.~

He felt her shudder slightly, and then her mouth was back on his. His hands moved back under her shirt, and this time he quickly pulled it from her, as he broke the kiss, and let it and her halter top fly across the room. He caught the look on her face, "Eager are we?" She asked him, and he nodded in response. 

But that teasing smile was gone in an instant, as he pulled her body up slightly, and his mouth started a trail of light bites and kisses to the skin along her neck and collar bone. His hands at her sides, his thumbs tracing the swell of her breasts, then moving up, to brush over her hard nipples, making her shudder against him, and his name softly coming from her lips.

It pleased him to no end to be able to actually do this, to touch her, to create that response in her, to give something back. He leaned down further, and pulled her up more, as his mouth trailed down her breast bone, and then detoured to the right. His mouth settling over a firm nipple, his tongue teasing the peak, and then sucking it into his mouth. Her hip movements, and sounds telling him to continue, as her hands moved into his hair, pushing his face closer to her. 

He was in slight awe that he was able to do this, do what he had dreamt about doing for so long, it seemed like each time they did, each time he improved, another part of his dreams, of what he thought would only ever be a fantasy, were coming true. His head turned to give the same attention to the other, and he heard more of her whimpers as he continued, and he realized he would do it all night, if she wanted him to. 

But soon her hands were moving down his front, and lifting up his shirt, he broke away long enough for her to pull it from him, and fling it across the room as well. His mouth went back to work on her, as his hands slid down the bare skin of her back. He felt her hands move over his chest, down his abs, then settle into the waistband of his pants, a finger tracing them. And then she was working at the button, and pulling down the zipper.  
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Her fingers slightly fumbled with the zipper, and then she was pulling it down. All the need from earlier returning to her in full force. She wasn't sure if it was the fact that he also seemed so willing, or whether it was the fact that he was able to participate so much more. She wanted, no needed, to feel his hands on her, his lips trailing over her skin. She craved the feeling of him wanting her, his touch to her skin, to her soul.

She got the zipper down, and pushed him back to the bed, and moved off him with a sigh, but her hands pulled at the waist band, and moved the fabric down his legs, and dropped them to the floor, but she didn't go back to him yet, as her hands moved back up again, and then pulled down his boxers as well. She quickly removed the rest of her clothes, then she caught his eyes looking at her.

Max leaned over, and crawled back up his body, leaning over him. She looked down at his face, and found his hands coming up to hold the sides of hers. ~Max.~ She smiled down at him, and tried to lean down and kiss him, but he held her firm. ~I love you.~ She saw his lips move, and her grin got bigger.

"I love you too." She said softly, and then her body was being pulled back down to his, his mouth attacking hers once again. Her body laid over his, flesh to flesh, mouth to mouth. Her hips moving against his, him hard, pressing against her stomach. His hands traveling down her back, settling over her hips and ass, moving her against him, making her moan.

Then his hands were moving back up her body, and pulling her up further, his face moving back to her breasts, and she moaned as his mouth claimed one, and then his hand snaked its way between their bodies. Her head flew back, and her eyes fluttered shut, her mouth moaning his name, as his fingers came into contact with the hardened bundle of nerves between her legs. Her head rolled back and forth, as his mouth sucked at one perked nipple, his one hand pressing her to him, his other working his fingers in slow circles, incredibly frustrating, slow circles, that were sending small shivers of pleasure through her.

"Alec..." She let out breathlessly, she didn't know how much more pleasurable torture she could take. She felt him move his head back to look at her, and she leaned back down, claiming his mouth in a heated kiss, her tongue quickly moving into his mouth to taste him, and then she broke it, her lips moving to his neck, her tongue snaking out to taste him, and she felt his intake of breath, his hips slightly jerk up at her in response. 

She reached between them, her hands grabbing his erection, and she watched his eyes close as she sat up. She moved over him, her body shaking slightly, needing to feel him inside of her again. She felt his hands at her hips, helping her move onto him, her eyes looking up, and saw his staring back at her. Then she lowered herself back onto him, quickly plunging herself down, and she threw her head back, gasping, feeling his hips jerking up at her, his hands gripping her hips tightly, pressing her down hard.   
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His mind screamed in pleasure as her wet, tight, heat engulfed him, his head moving back against the bed. She stilled on him, and his eyes opened again to look at her, and she leaned forward, pressing her chest against his, and her lips were again devouring his mouth. His tongue darted into her mouth, and she moaned in return, his hands starting to move at her hips, grinding her body onto his, making them both groan. 

She started to move her hips in response to the urging of his hands, and his hips jerked up at her, again and again in response to the pleasure she was creating as she moved, back and forth. He left one hand on her hip, encouraging her pace, as the other one traveled back up her body, to press at the back of her neck, moving her mouth more forcefully against his. 

As her hips began to move faster, she sat up, moving her hands to his chest, helping her to move, up and down, faster, harder. His hand pulled her down harder with each movement, and then the fingertips of his other hand trailed down the front of her body, and then moved to the juncture between her thighs, and she gasped, her hips moving faster, harder against him, as his fingers found her again. His eyes watching the beauty before him, her eyes closed in ecstasy, her mouth open, gasping his name and other unknown words. Her body riding him faster and faster, sending waves of pleasure coursing through his body on every movement.  
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Max could barely think, comprehend anything, except for the feelings running through her body, the spiraling feeling, as her body felt like it was about to break, and she wanted it too. She wanted to break into thousands of pieces, and she moved faster, up and down, feeling him fill her, then feeling empty as she moved away, only to plunge herself back on him again, and again. She felt his hips jerk up at her in response each time, and it kept her moving. The motion of his fingers over her hard clit, making her moan out, sending her further, higher.

Then she was falling, falling fast, and her hips lost momentum, as she screamed, her body losing its control as her body shook and wave after wave of bright light flashed through her. She barely felt his hands pulling her against him, again and again, making the waves hit her again, and again. Her eyes closed and her head lulled, as she felt his hips jerk up at her once again, and then his hands tightening, pulling her firmly against him.  
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And he was gone, his lips moved ~Maxxxxx~ but no sound came, as his body exploded inside of her, her body still convulsing around him, making his hips jerk once again, another jolt of pleasure surging through him. Slowly, he returned to the present, and pulled her body down to his, his arms wrapping around her. His lips kissing her cheek, her neck, and then his hand moved to the side of her face, pulling her in for a soft kiss. 

She rested her head at his shoulder, and he wrapped his arms around her, keeping her body pressed to him, not wanting to ever let her go. He kissed the side of her cheek, and let his eyes close slowly, allowing sleep to claim him.


	27. Chapter 27

Max came home early the next afternoon, getting off work early by telling Normal that she had to get Alec to his doctor's appointment, which, actually was true. She remembered Cindy questioning her as soon as she got to work, her fingers lifting up the hair around her neck. OC had said she had seen the purple marks the night before, which were thankfully basically gone now, but hadn't said anything, because she wasn't sure what had happened, and everything had seemed okay.

Max relayed the events to Cindy, horror evident on OC's features. "You okay, Boo?" She had asked, and Max had nodded and told her that she was fine, yet worried. She had to admit that it had really scared her, and was glad that Joshua was there to help her. Cindy shook her head, "God, what did those goons do to him?" Max just shook her head, not wanting to think about it.

Now as she walked into the house, she was about ready to call out for Joshua, to see where Alec was, but then she already knew. She went to the basement, a large smile forming on her features, as the music flowed through the house. She slowly moved down the steps, listening to the beautiful string of notes that trailed over her ears.

As she got down the stairs she saw him sitting at the piano, his head tilled slightly, his eyes closed, and his hands dancing over the keys. She stopped and just watched him, listened to him. His head moving to the notes he was playing, the notes keyed to the emotions that were running over his features. As she listened, she couldn't tell if the song would be considered happy, or sad, it was a mixture of both. As he started to slow, she could tell it was almost over, and she moved closer to him. At the last note she spoke quietly, "That was beautiful."

She noticed he didn't jump, but instead just put out his hand to her, and pulled her him. She smiled and sat down on the bench next to him. His hands took both of hers, and started to put them on the piano, and she smiled, but pulled away turning to him, finding his slightly confused, and hurt face.

"I'd love you to teach men, but we don't have time." She told him, and watched his lips move.

~Why?~

"We have to go see Dr. Carr. It's time for your check-up." He rolled his eyes at her. "Oh, don't give me that. Besides wouldn't you like to get out of the house?" She saw his eyes light up, "Go for a ride on my motorcycle?" The smile on his face almost made her laugh.

~Just don't blame me if I hold on really tight.~ He said with a wink, and she shook her head at him, leaned in and kissed him.

"I was hoping you would." She said and winked back. Max than looked around, "Wait, how did you get down here?" She asked hopeful.

~Josh~

She nodded, "Well, let's get going." With that she had him standing and they made their way up the stairs to get ready to go. Then they were on the way to see the doctor. Max grinned, as she felt his arms around her, his hands however were moving over her thighs, inching backwards very slowly, his breath at her ear made her shiver. She looked over her shoulder at him, and saw the cocky grin on his face. She smiled, and moved her backside against him, the look he gave her made her mouth into smirk as well as she turned the corner.

Thankfully they got to the office before his hands could move any further into the waist band of her jeans, or she really would have crashed. She parked the bike and turned to him. "I think you do have a death wish." She told him, but his hands just moved into the back of her hair, and pulled her in for a deep kiss, shutting her up from anything else she had to say. Once she broke away, "Uhh... right." She said, shaking her head slightly, and then hitting his shoulder lightly from the knowing smile on his face.

Since it was the middle of the day, and people were around, she had him wait there, while she went inside, and returned with a wheel chair. She saw the look in his eyes, "I know, I know, but I don't think a lot of people would believe that I can just haul your ass in there all by myself." Max helped him into the chair, and then wheeled him back into the building.

It didn't take long for Dr. Carr to get to them. "Hi Sam," Max said as he walked into the room.

"Max, hey. Good to see you, and you." He said turning to Alec, a large smile on his face at seeing him nod at him. "Well, definitely looks like a lot of progress since the last time he was here." He walked over to Alec, "So, what has changed?" He asked looking back and forth between the two not knowing who would answer.

Max looked at Alec, and he nodded at her. "Well, a lot actually." She reached for his hand, and he took it. Sam smiled at them. "Basically, the only things left to go is walking, or lower body movement and speech."

Sam nodded, "Well, I can check to see if we missed any spinal damage..."

She shook her head, "No, he can feel his toes and everything. His involuntary reflexes are working just great." She said trying not to blush slightly, *Yeah, they're working... just fine.*

He nodded at her, then turned back to Alec. "Basically it's just getting your mind to tell your muscles to work, same with your vocal cords, I'm sure." Alec nodded at him. "Well, let's do a few tests, and get some blood work, just to make sure everything's going okay." They both nodded.

He tested his reflexes of Alec's feet and knees, both reacting just as they should. After a few more tests, he motioned for Max to leave the room with him, while the nurse took some blood. Max shook her head no fiercely. "Why?"

"I want to stay while the nurse does it." She said, and reached out and took Alec's hand, a confused look on both of the men's faces, but a few seconds later she saw the understanding in Alec's eyes, and then guilt wash through them, his head slightly moving down. Max sighed inwardly, but knew it had to be done. She had no idea if the needles or the nurse would bring out any flashbacks in him, and it wasn't safe to have the nurse alone with him.

Sam nodded okay, and had the nurse come in. Max watched Alec close his eyes, and squeeze her hand tightly as the nurse took the samples and then left. "Okay, I'll leave you two to get him dressed, and I'll be back to talk to you." He said looking at Max. She nodded and turned back to him, when they were alone.

"I'm sorry." She said quietly, as she tilted his head up to look at her, and saw his eyes. His eyes full of pain and sadness. She sighed, "It's not your fault, I just had to make sure that..."

She watched his lips move, ~I know.~ Max moved her hand up to the side of his face, and gently caressed it, watching him close his eyes again and lean against her hand, lean into the comfort of it. Then she was helping him back into his clothes and out of the hospital gown.

Max wheeled him back into the waiting room, as Sam called to her. "I'll be right back, okay?" She told him and he nodded. She then walked back into Sam's office. "Okay, what is it that you didn't want him to hear?"

"It's not really that I have something to say to you, I think you might be more willing to tell me what's all going on, not in front of him. Obviously something is."

She nodded, and sighed. "He's having flashbacks, nightmares. Very real, very vivid, very... violent." She saw him nod. "Let's say sometimes he doesn't know where he is, during them, he doesn't know who people are."

"That happens with the kind of thing that happened to him. Is that why you didn't want the nurse.."

She nodded yes, "I didn't know what he might do."

"Max, if it gets to be too much for you..."

"No, no! I'm fine, I can handle him." She said quickly, hoping she was right. "I just wish he could talk. I think if he could talk about it... besides just writing, signing, or reading lips, if he could talk about it...." She trailed off.

"Well, I hate to tell you. But, that will probably be the last thing that will come back, and it may take awhile."

"Why?" She asked.

"Well, I'm assuming from what you said. About how and why he was tortured, to get information. It was more than likely the first thing he tried to bury, the most important thing to 'lock away.'"

Max nodded in understanding, "If you can't speak, even if you want too, you can't give information." Sam nodded at her. "Will he ever be able to?"

Sam shrugged his shoulders, "It all depends on him."  
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Alec sat in the waiting room, and he mentally sighed. *Damn it. She had to baby-sit me with the nurse so I wouldn't go crazy or something.* He hated this, hated knowing that she was actually right. He didn't know what he would do. When a flashback, a memory entered his mind, it was like he had no control over what happened. It would be so real, he would almost think it was happening again.

His mind stopped, once it heard a familiar sound, one he hadn't heard in a long time, but unmistakable. He didn't move, he stayed still, hoping, by some miracle if he did so, the man would not notice him, he just didn't want to deal with him. But that didn't happen, "Alec?" came Logan's voice.

*If I ignore him, maybe he'll go away.* He thought, and didn't move, didn't acknowledge him. He watched Logan look at him, study him for a minute, and then lean over to look at him.

"See, I tried to tell her, I tried to tell her not to get her hopes up. But would she listen.... Nooooooo. She decides to just put her whole life on hold, for something, someone who can't be there for her, physically or emotionally. All because she thinks she's in love with you." Alec heard the slight laugh from him, as he sat down in the chair next to him. Logan not noticing Alec's hand squeezing into a fist.

"But she's not. She only thinks she is. What she has for me, is love. What she has for you... well.. it's just pity and guilt. Gratitude for saving her life. So, whenever you wake up from his little coma, or whatever it is, she will leave you. It's only a matter of time."

The anger that was fueling through him, was growing by the second, his arms were tense, and he was just about ready to sock the other man in the jaw, when he heard her voice. "Logan?" He saw him jump to his feet next to him. "What's only a matter of time?"

He could almost hear the older man's brain try and come up with something, and bamm, there it was, "Just a matter of time before he's fully back to himself."

Alec almost laughed, *Yeah, right. You don't even know what I can do.* He tilted his head up, to see both of them, standing in front of him, Logan not noticing the movement.

"Yeah, it's great, no thanks to you. What are you doing here?"

Alec almost did a double take at the sound of her voice. It was angry, very angry. *When did that happen? Granted she was trying to break up with him, when I was captured, but they were nice to each other.*

"I... uhh.. have an appointment with Sam."

"Okay," She said and turned back to look at Alec. She smiled at him, "Ready to go?" She asked, and he saw Logan roll his eyes at her words.

Alec just about laughed, *This will be fun.* He thought, as he looked up at Max, his hand going out to lightly touch the side of her face, his lips moving. ~I love you.~

He watched Max's eyes light up, and her voice echo back, "I love you too." As he pulled her in for a kiss, he watched the look of shock and horror on Logan's face. When they pulled away, he smiled at the older man, as Max moved around behind the wheel chair to push him out of the office. Alec gave a small wave to him, a smile on his face as they left, leaving a very shocked, angry, and baffled Logan Cale.

Once back to the bike, and Max was getting ready to start it, he patted he shoulder, making her turn around. ~What was that?~

"What was what?" She asked him.

~With Logan.~

He saw the mixture of emotions on her face, and the hesitation in her voice. "What about it?"

Alec rolled his eyes at her, *Don't play difficult Max.* He thought, ~Why were you so angry?~

She sighed, and he could tell she didn't want to tell him, and he gripped her hand, and he heard her sigh again. "Okay, okay. He had information on your location for 3 weeks before he told me."

He felt like the floor had just fallen out below him, *What?*

"He says he wasn't sure enough about it, to tell me. He also tried to talk me out of looking for you." He saw the anger in her eyes and heard it in her voice. "If it wasn't for him... I could have..." She tiled her head down, "I trusted him, and I shouldn't have."

Alec could have given the man the benefit of the doubt that he was just trying to protect Max, not letting her go and get herself captured or hurt. But with all the Eye's Only missions he would send her on, he knew that wasn't it. He knew that Logan just didn't want Max to find him, he wanted her all to himself. Alec pulled her to him, and hugged her. "If I would have done more, made him tell me sooner..."

He tiled her head up to look at him, and kissed her softly, then pulled back, his hand going to the side of her face. ~It's not your fault. None of it was.~ He kissed her again, pulling away to wipe away the singe tear that was starting to run down her cheek. ~Let's go home.~ He smiled at her, and she nodded, turned back around, he wrapped his arms around her, this time protectively, and she started up the bike.  
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After another week, Max and Joshua finally convinced him to let them get him a wheelchair. He didn't want one, he saw it like he was giving up, not to mention it reminded him of another guy on wheels in Max's life, or past as it was, *Hopefully.* He thought. They finally managed his approval when they agreed to move the piano out of the basement and into the living room.

He hated to admit to himself, just how much easier it was. He was able to get around the whole first floor by himself. Alec was relieved at how much he could do for himself now. Actually, everything. His arms were getting a lot strong, actually, the muscles were becoming filled out once again. Because he had to use them, to move his whole body around. In and out of the wheel chair. In and out of the tub. Onto the bed or couch.

He helped Joshua with making dinner, cleaning up here and there even. He realized how good it felt to help, almost if he was trying to pay them back for everything they had done for him. Joshua and Alec had good talks as well. Well, hand signals and writing on the dry erase board Max had picked up for him.

It drove him crazy not able to speak or walk. Actually, he wasn't even sure if he had a choice between the two, which one he would take. While not being able to say anything was really annoying sometimes, he still had means of communication. And while not being able to walk, or... his mind traveled slightly *Make love to Max the way I want to!* He thought. It wasn't like the wheel chair was all that bad, and it wasn't like they weren't having 'fun' every night either.

He was helping Joshua with dinner at that minute actually, they were getting stuff together, because Sketchy and Cindy were supposed to come over that night. He sighed inwardly, *Another reason to walk.* He thought, as Crash wasn't exactly the easiest place to go to with a wheelchair, with the stairs going in and all. He placed the bowl of stuff he just prepared on his lap, and wheeled into the kitchen, setting the bowl on the counter next to Joshua. "Thanks Alec." He heard and nodded and went back to the table.

He heard the front door open, and smiled, grabbing the board and pin from the table, hearing the words following. "We're home! Having survived hell today." He grinned as he saw the three of them come into the kitchen, stopping at the table.

Cindy moved towards Joshua, "Hey Doggie-dog, whatcha cooking?" She leaned over the pots and pans, smelling.

"Spaghetti, and garlic bread. Alec made the salad to go with it."

"Sounds great," OC said, "Need help with the table?" She asked turning, and stopped seeing it already set. Alec grinned at her, "Wow, boy's getting domesticated."

Alec rolled his eyes at her, and Max came up behind him wrapping his arms around him "Yep, all we need to do now is figure out how to house break him, and he's all set." He turned to look at her, giving her a dirty look, and was about ready to sign something at her, not to nicely, when she cut him off with a kiss.

She smiled at him, pulling away, "Forgiven for the comment?" She asked, way to sweetly, and he turned his eyes up, putting a finger to his lips, indicating that he was thinking about it.

He got a playful hit to his shoulder, and he smiled. ~One more might work.~ He mouthed at her, and barely got it all out there, when she kissed him again. He heard a cough from behind Max, and they pulled apart to a grinning Sketchy.

"Uh, guys...do you want to be alone?" His voice teasing them. Max shook her head no, but Alec pulled her onto his lap in the chair with him, and shook his head yes. As he started to wheel them into the other room.

"ALEC!" Max screamed, and his body shook in silent laughter. She turned to him, "Why you little..." She said, lightly hitting him upside the head. He pouted at her, and gave her a hurt look. "Oh, big baby." She told him.

Cindy just laughed, "Yep, I'm certain now."

"About what?" Sketchy asked moving over to her, watching the two of them still bickering, but large smiles on their faces, and occasional kisses.

"Everything before, all the fighting, bickering, hitting... X5 foreplay." She said shaking her head, and Sketchy just laughed.

"What?" Max's head snapped up, hearing her friend, and Alec's head spun around too, have heard as well.

"Oh, you heard me Boo."

Max was about ready to say something, when Joshua interrupted, "Dinner's ready!"  
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The five of them had a talkative dinner, Alec writing out a lot, but still trying to speak any time he could, the voice just not forming. He tried to not let it get to him, and just enjoy the company. They moved back into the living room, all settling down for a movie, and drinks. It was slightly strange to him, as he took a drink of the amber liquid. *Scotch,* he thought. He couldn't remember the last one he had, but he did remember how frequently he used to have it.

He used it to try and run away from the memories and pain that Manticore had inflicted on him before. The loneliness he always felt. While it took a huge amount of the stuff to have any effect on him, it still seemed to have that comforting effect after the first swallow. But as he looked into the glass, the swirls of colors moving around the glass as he swirled it, it didn't seem as comforting. It didn't seem to hide the memories, it only reminded him that he had more he didn't want, more he wanted to forget.

Alec gulped the last of it down, and reached for the bottle on the table next to him, filling up the glass again. He took another drink, and closed his eyes, as he felt the slight burn of the liquor go down his throat. Then he felt an arm moving around his middle, and looked down to see Max moving her face against his chest, her arm squeezing him tighter, he eyes closed, having fallen asleep on him during the movie. He looked over to his left, and saw Sketchy still entranced in the action sequence.

He looked over to the right seeing OC and Josh sharing the chair. Cindy leaning back on the arm, yawning slightly, her hand on Joshua's head, almost like she was petting him. Alec almost laughed, at the sight, as Josh seemed to barely notice as he watched the movie, except for the occasional movement of his head, to have her keep going. *To much canine in the cocktale.* He thought with humor.

He focused back on the TV, the car chase still going on, and he yawned, *Boring.* He thought, and looked back down at Max, *She must have thought the same thing.* He looked back at the glass, downed the rest, and reached for the bottle once again.  
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The room was bright, the lights shinning down hard into his eyes. The questions were being yelled at him, over and over again. The shocks rang through his body, his body unable to move from the metal restraints, and the many broken bones and joints. The questions continuing, and then a voice. "That's it!" White screamed, and moved in front of his face. "Tell me where she is NOW!"

Alec smiled up at him, "Never." He saw the anger in the man's face.

"If you tell us, the pain will stop. Just tell us where 452 is, and we end this all now."

"Bite Me."

"Don't give me any more ideas on how I can get the information out of you 494, I just might try it." He shook his head at the man on the table. "494, don't you see. We will find her, one way or another. Either you tell us, or we will find her ourselves. Why not just make it easier on yourself and tell us now, so that the pain will end. We'll just put you out of your misery, otherwise we will continue until we get her."

He didn't even reply to him, he never would, he felt the electricity start to flow through him, as White continued to talk. "We WILL find her 494. And when we do, I will have them dissect her still live body in front of you. I will make you watch them cut into her still live, still conscious body. I will have you hear her screams of pain." He felt like he was going to be sick, the shocks becoming stronger, and stronger.

"You'll watch her blood spill onto the floor, hear her screams as we cut her up bit by careful bit. While you watch her die!"

White's laughter rang in his head, and the image of Max's body covered in blood washed over him, then the electricity multiplied, "NooooooAGGHHHHHHHHHHH" The scream ripped from his throat as his mind traveled into blackness.

Alec sat straight up in bed, his body sweating, his breath coming in large gasps, his body shaking, eyes wide adjusting to the darkness. Hands were instantly on him, "Alec?"

*Max?* His head raced at the feel, at the sound. His eyes turned to her, searching to see if it was really her, fear washing though him.

"What's wrong? What is it?" She asked him, concern dripping from her voice, her arms pulling him into a hug.

But he pulled away, his hands moving to her shoulders, then down her arms, his eyes moving back to her face, not totally believing she was there. Then his hands moved, and her shirt was over her head, his hands traveled over her front, her chest bone her stomach, feeling the skin, her sides. Then back up to her neck, then his arms pulled her to him, holding her, tightly. His eyes closing, hinding his face in her neck, breathing in her scent. *He didn't get her, he didn't touch her.* He thought to himself.  
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Max was startled awake, and then instantly knew what was happening when she saw him sitting there, she moved to him, talked to him, trying to comfort him, and then he surprised her. He removed her shirt, and at first she thought he was trying to initiate something. But then she caught the look in his eyes, and noticed what he was doing. There was nothing sexual about it. He was touching her, looking at her, trying to decide... *If I am real, if I'm.... alive.*

His arms were now crushing her to him, as if he didn't dare let her go, she felt the shudders against her, felt his heart rate, his deep breathing, and then she felt the wetness at her neck. Her hands moved lightly over his back, and she moved closer on his lap to him, hugging him, whispering in his ear. "It's okay. I'm right here." She said softly, "I'm not going anywhere."

She felt him pull away, and look into her eyes, his hands moving over her face, traveling into her hair, and then back. They moved down her arms, then back. She could see his hands shaking, and she reached out with her own, and grabbed hold of them. ~Max~ She saw his lips move, and could almost see the question in them, like he just didn't believe it.

"Yes, It's me. I'm right here." She saw his eyes close, and him shake his head, then his lids opened again, looking into her eyes, he let go of her hands, and pulled her into his arms again. She moved her hands over his back, and whispered soft, comforting words into his ear, knowing that whatever he remembered, whatever he had dreamed, had him scared. *In absolute fear,* she thought, *And it has something to do with me.*

She kissed his cheek lightly once, then twice, and pulled away slightly, looking back at him. Her hands moving to the sides of his face, making him look at her. The fear, and panic that showed in his eyes made her want to cry, but she leaned in and softly placed a kiss to his forehead, his nose, each cheek, and then his lips. Her fingers then moved to lightly brush away the wetness from his face, and she kissed his cheeks again.

His hands moved over her back, and up into her hair once again. She could feel him run his fingers through it, and then up and over her cheek. His hands still shaking, they traveled over her face, and she watched his eyes. He was slowly proving to himself that she was really there, that she wasn't just a figment of his imagination. That whatever happened in his dream wasn't real. Or that she was indeed there.

He leaned in and his lips met hers, so soft, so gentle. His hands moving slowly down her body, moving over her shoulders, back, sides, and hips. She wrapped her arms around his neck, her hands moving into his hair. She opened her eyes, when he stopped the kiss, and she knew where this was going. While a small amount of desire was being shown now in those eyes, the fear still dominated.

Her hand came back to the side of his face, "I'm here, I'm real." She told him, "Feel how real I am." She said softly, and took his hand, moving his hand slowly across her face, then down her front, letting it settle over her breast, over her heart, her head leaning in, to leave a small trail of kisses down his neck.

She felt his hand lightly squeeze her flesh, the nipple hardening against his palm, and he felt his other arm go around her, pulling her up slightly to him, and his face move against her neck. She could hear him take in her scent, his tongue move out to softly lick at her skin, tasting her. Then his lips kissed the spot, and starting a trail down her front. The shakes in his body starting to slow, as he pulled her closer, his mouth settling over nipple, sucking at it lightly, making her gasp. He then moved over to the other one.

Her body squirmed against him, and her hands went between them, brushing up against the bulge in his shorts, his hips jerking slightly in response. She broke away slightly, and his eyes showed almost full blown panic, his hands reaching for her, as she tried to stand up.

"I'm not going anywhere," She told him, and tried to give him a small smile, "Just trying to take these clothes off." He nodded, but he didn't release the hold he had on her wrist. It made it more difficult to remove her underwear, and his, but she managed. She then moved back to him, pushing him gently back on the bed, and laying down over him, her mouth coming back to his for a kiss. His arms moving around her, again, putting his head back into her neck.

Her heart broke slightly realizing how much emotional pain he was in, and she didn't know what else to do about it. His hands moved over her back, then back into her hair, his mouth moving to kiss her again. It surprised her at how gentle he was being, it was almost like he was afraid she was going to break into a million pieces and just disappear.

She moved her hips slightly against him, and groaned slightly, and felt his hips moved against her. She continued to move, lightly grinding against him, moving along at the pace that he was. But then he surprised her, his one arm left her back, and moved to the bed, his other, hugged her to him tightly. She then felt him, push off slightly and roll them onto her back, she looked up at him, her legs coming up around him.

His hand came back to her cheek, and he looked down into her eyes. He needed this, he needed to be the one making love to her, he needed to be the one to feel her, to do this. She brought her hands up to the back of his neck, and pulled him down to her lips, kissing him deeply.

She felt his arms move to her sides, his hands moving up to grip the edge of the mattress, her hand moved between their bodies, and her fingers wrapped around his erection, and she watched his eyes close for a second, and then open again to look straight at her. ~Max~

She moved him, positioning him at her opening, her other hand moving up into his hair, "Feel me, make love to me." She said softly, and pulled him back down for another kiss. She felt his arms tense, pull, and felt him slide into her waiting body, her head falling back from his lips.

She opened her eyes to see his hazel ones still looking at her, his body motionless, but joined fully with hers. Her legs wrapped around his, as did her arms, and she saw the muscles in his arms move as he pulled again, making his body move against hers. Her hips moved up against his, her legs tightening around him, bringing him deeper, and she watched his eyes close and head move back slightly.

Then they began to move again, a slow rhythm forming between them. Her hips moving up against him, her legs pulling him deeper, his arms moving his body to counter her movements. The pace slow, deliberate, excruciatingly pleasurable. Slowly building them both up, higher and higher. Their mouths coming together in passionate kisses, exploring each other's mouths, their tongues moving, tasting. Their heavy breathing at each other's necks. Her hands moving over his back, shoulders, pressing him closer to her.

In.... and out.... slow, but sure... steady and strong. Her hand trailed over his face, as their eyes continued to stay locked on each other, she knew she might have asked him to make love to her, but she knew this was even more than that. They knew they loved each other, this was a completely different level, this was necessary. And even though it wasn't about love, or even pleasure, it's what she felt, as her body was moving closer and closer to the cliff. The long journey towards it, was going to make for a very big fall.

The feeling of his body over her, around her, inside of her. His intense gaze staring at her, the taste of his mouth, his breath against her neck, his lips on her skin, was slowly becoming to much. Her hands moved over his back, her fingers feeling the muscles working, as he he moved over her, inside of her, again and again. She moved her hips up against him a few more times, and he moved a little faster in response, and then she was there, toppling over the edge into the great abyss.

Her lips screaming out a mixture of nonsense and something that sounded like his name, her arms gripping to him tightly, her muscles clamping around him hard, her body shaking. Her body barely noticing his arms straining, pulling hard, his hips jerking hard, her body shuddering again as she felt his warmth shoot through her, and then his body collapsing against her, his arms pulling her tightly to him, his face again hiding in her neck.

Max's arms wrapped around him, her breathing trying to come back to normal. She felt the wetness back at her neck, and she held him tighter, "I love you Alec," She said gently into his ear, and felt his body shake slightly. She felt his lips move against her neck, and knew he replied. She closed her eyes, and held him, knowing that there was a lot that they were going to have to go through, but also knowing they would get through it together.


	28. Chapter 28

The muscles in his arms strained, as he pulled, his chin moving up and over the bar. Holding the position for a few seconds, he then lowered his body back back down, dangling slightly, *Ninety-seven.* He thought, then pulled himself back up again, paused again, then lowered. *Ninety-eight.* He started to pull himself up again, but stopped when Joshua walked into the room.

"Still going?" he asked.

Alec nodded with a smile, and pulled himself up again. Joshua had to help him up to the bar, that he had installed for him, but at least he could do the rest for himself. *Ninety-nine.* He thought, his smile getting bigger. With the last one, he lowered back down and then let himself drop into the wheel chair below him. He took off the brake, and wheeled himself over to the couch where Joshua was now sitting. 

He put the brake back on, and pulled himself up an onto the couch, grabbed the dry erase board from the coffee table in front of him, and leaned back on the couch. He wrote on the the board, and then tapped Joshua's leg with it. 

"TV sounds good." Joshua said putting down the book and Alec nodded grabbing the remote control and flipping it on. 

He stopped on a news report, "And we turn to our reporter outside the barricade of Terminal City. Cathy, can you tell us what's happening?" The reporter asked, the TV then going to the streets, to focus on the girl.

"The guards have set up barricades all around the perimeter of Terminal City, trying to block protesters from getting to close, and also not letting any of the transgenics inside escape." The lady turned to look behind her, "As you can see behind me, people are burning large X's to send a message to the transgenics inside that they are not wanted. Just earlier today we caught footage of one of them trying to take refugee inside." 

The TV turned to show the images of some type of mutant jumping from the roof of one of the surrounding buildings. The people saw it, and began to throw stuff at it, as it flew threw the air, to land on the other side of the gates. Running further inside, with a limp.

Alec's jaw tensed, and Joshua leaned over to take the remote. Alec turned to him, and held it firmly, giving him hand signals, asking him what he was doing.

"Max said you shouldn't watch this."

~What?~ He mouthed out.

"You shouldn't watch this, said it was bad for you. Let's watch cartoons."

Alec shook his head, wiped off the board, and wrote. Then turned it to Joshua. #Why shouldn't I watch the news? Why shouldn't I know what's going on? What did she tell you?# He was getting angry.

Joshua shrugged his shoulders, "I don't know why. She just said that you shouldn't." He said and reached for the remote again, this time he got it, because Alec wasn't holding on to it. He switched the channel, and laughed at the images that came up on the show.

Alec sat there, in slight shock. *What the hell?* He wiped off the board again, and then looked up at the clock on the wall. *Well, she'll be home soon.* He thought and started to write.

He was drumming his fingers on the couch as he waited for her to walk through the door. The TV was off, and Joshua was out back, working in the garden again. He sat there, the board next to him, a glass of scotch in his other hand. He looked down at it, took another swig, draining the glass, and then reached for the bottle on the stand next to him. He poured the liquid in, and as he sat the bottle back down, he heard the door open.   
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"Joshua?" She called out, happily. Max was glad to be home, she took her bag off as she walked into the living room. She dropped it next to the table, seeing Alec. But then her smile faded as she looked at him and took in the room. It was dark in there, no lights were on, just the light from outside. The television and music were off. He was just sitting there. Then she noticed the drink in his hand, and the look on his face, the look he was giving her. "What's wrong?" She asked moving over to him.

She wasn't sure what was going on, but she could tell he was upset, very upset. She watched his lips move, ~Joshua and I watched the news today.~

Max sighed, *Didn't I tell him...* she smiled slightly, "Wow, Joshua actually watched the news, he doesn't usually like that." The look that went over his features confused her slightly. Then she got worried, and she reached out for his hand, *He must have had another memory,* but he pulled away from her.

"Alec, it's okay, tell me what happened." She said softly, and he shook his head at her, closing his eyes. She tried to take the glass so she could move closer to him, but he held it firmly, drank the last of it, and then slammed it on the table next to him, making her jump back. "What's wrong?" She asked again, now completely confused by his obvious anger at her. 

Alec picked up the board next to him, and thrust it at her, she took it from him, and began to read it.

#It's interesting that Joshua thinks that I shouldn't be watching the news, that cartoons are better for me. It seems like you told him that.# She swallowed as she read the words, understanding starring to dawn on her. #Worried I'll go nuts again? Worried I'll see White's face and go ballistic with another memory?# Yes, actually she was. #Well, I hate to tell you, anything could trigger one. I'm not in control of it Max, and by telling me what I can and can't do, doesn't make you in control of it either. Don't you think it scares the hell out of me too? Don't you think I'm afraid of what I might do? If you are so afraid of what I'm capable of doing from a news broadcast, a broadcast of something I have a right to know about, being as I am a transgenic, and it does affect me. If you are so afraid of me, then you should run. Heck, run far away. I've hurt you once already, I'm probably going to do it again, probably worse, it's what's best.# 

She felt the wetness in her eyes. #Trying to so-call protect me from the world, isn't going to change what I'm going to do. Dictating what I can do, isn't going to shield you or Joshua from what I could be capable of. Don't make pity, or guilt or whatever it is that you have for me be the deciding factor in the reason you are staying, trying to stick this out with me till I get back to 'myself.'#

Max looked up at him from the board, "Is that what you think? Really?" She asked him, he didn't look at her. But she continued on anyway, "You think I'm staying with you out of guilt and pity?" She moved over to him on the couch, and her hand pulled his face to look at her, he tried to turn away, and they struggled. "Hey!" She said shouting slightly, and turning his face forcefully. She could tell he gave in, and he looked at her. "I love you." 

His hand came up and pulled her hands away from him, and pushed her away from him slightly. "Alec!" He waved his hands at her, telling her he didn't want to hear it. "Well, to bad you are!"

Alec turned to look at her, ~Why?~

"What?" She saw him sigh, and grab the board in a huff, erasing the words there and writing down quickly, then turning it to her.

#Why do you love me? You didn't love me before all this. The first time I ever heard you say it, that I now remember, is when you were in Heat. So why do you love me? Because I saved your life, didn't tell White where you were, your pity for what happened to me, and then your guilt for using me during Heat? Is that why you say you love me, and are staying with me? Because nothing else makes sense.#

She read the words and sighed, for some reason she wasn't surprised that this conversation was happening. *Well, not exactly this conversation.* Something had angered him at her, and then the questioning, the thoughts, had started. And she wasn't exactly sure how to deal with all this, *Except for the truth.* She took a deep breath, and looked at him, this time his eyes were staring at her, waiting for her response.

"I can see where you would think that." She told him, and then reached for his hand, and pulled it towards him, even though he tried to pull away. "Alec, just listen to me, okay?" She watched him, "Okay?" She asked again, and finally he nodded. 

"First, let me back step a little bit. As for the news.." She started off, hoping to tackle that one first and then move into the other. "Yes, I told Joshua that it was better if you didn't watch the news. For many reasons. One, with everything that is going on with the Transgenics, and everything I didn't want you to hear about it, because I know you would want to do something. But, really, it's not safe for either one of us to be out there, trying to help. White wants us both dead in a big way." She said and squeezed his hand. 

"Okay, and yes. I was worried that you might see White on TV or something else from Manticore that might trigger a memory. But it's not that I was worried about it triggering the memory, I was worried I wouldn't be here for you when it happened." She sighed, "I want to be here Alec, I want to help you. Even though you might not like having to have people help you, I want to."

She watched his eyes, take in her statements, but could tell he wasn't convinced. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean for it to seem like I was controlling your life. I just... I worry about you, I can't help it. I almost lost you once, I couldn't handle that again." She watched his eyes close and his jaw tense.She pulled slightly on his hand, and he opened his eyes. "And I do love you, more than you could know." She could see him start to question her, "And not for the reasons you said. I know it might not make sense to you, it doesn't totally to me. Yes, I admit, that when you threw me over that fence, it made me realize that I loved you. But it wasn't from you doing that."

Max could see the disbelief in his eyes. "Alec, I may have argued with you, and tons of other things," She said rolling her eyes, not wanting to go into everything, "But it wasn't what I was feeling, it was all a mask, all a wall I was putting up to try and not see what I really felt, what I really wanted. And I wanted you, I was secretly falling in love with you, and it was so secret, I didn't even know about it."

She smiled at him, but it wasn't returned to her. She sighed lightly, "As for the other stuff. Alec, I don't pity you, I don't feel sorry for you, at least not in the way you are thinking. Do I have guilt about what I did to you? God, you know I do, I told you I did. But am I staying because of that? No, heck, the guilt wanted to make me run, but the love is what made me stay."

She looked up at him, and he was looking back at her, then his lips moved, ~Really?~

"Yes, really." She said, and moved closer to him, her hand going to the side of his face, and she noticed he didn't pull away, but she could also tell he was still tense. "Am I afraid of what might happen if I stay?" She looked down for a second and then back up, "Yes." She admitted, and she saw the look in eyes, knew it hurt him to hear it. "You did scare me, I never knew you were that strong." She said and then tried to smile, "Why did you let me win all those times?"

Max watched him, his head lowering a little, but then moving back up, ~I never wanted to hurt you Max.~ He said, and she nodded. ~And I don't want to ever again.~

"Alec, I'm okay."

~But what about next time? I could really hurt you..... or worse~

She watched his eyes close, and she moved closer to him, and wrapped her arms around him. "Alec, I'm not leaving. That's all there is too it. We will deal with this together. I need you, and whether you like to admit it or not, you need me too." She felt his arms pull her to him. 

They sat there, in each other's embrace for awhile, just letting their little talk enter their minds. But after a little bit, Max pulled away to look at him, "You know... I should ask you why it is that you love me. I mean, I could claim it doesn't make much sense either, that you are only in love with me because of me rescuing you, and taking care of you." She noticed that he was about to completely rebuff her statements, but she went on. "But, I'm not going to. At least not now." 

Alec gave her a confused look, then ~Why?~

She smiled at him, "Because when I find out why, I want to hear it from your lips." She said, her finger going over them lightly, and then she leaned in for a kiss.


	29. Chapter 29

A few days later, Alec was again in the house alone, with Joshua outside tending his *Actually very nice garden.* He thought, as he wheeled himself over to the table. Max was as always at work, and he sighed at that. Knowing that she was working her ass off, trying to support the three of them. But the time alone was good in away, he got to help out around the house, but he was also trying something else.

He put the brake on, and moved his hands to the table, palms down, he pushed himself up and out of the chair. He felt his feet on the floor, and he straightened himself up with his arms. He slowly lifted his hands from the table, smiling as he felt his legs try to balance himself, he tried to move his left foot, and he started to wobble, his hands going out to the table to steady himself once again.

Once he was balanced again, he let go, and tried moving his right leg. He felt it twitch, and his legs gave out from under him, and he fell to the floor. Obscenities flying though his head. *That hurt.* He thought, as he pushed himself up to a sitting position, then moved himself back into the chair, then back to the table. *Let's try this again,* he said pushing himself back to a standing position.

He put his arms out, trying to help him stay on his feet, and then he went to move his right leg again. He felt the muscle slightly tense as his legs began to wobble again, he moved his hands back to the table, so he wouldn't fall. He tried to move it again, still hanging on. *Come on... damn it... just move!* 

The muscle in his calf tightened slightly, and he tried to move his foot again, focusing his concentration, but then he lost it, his mind spinning at the sound of the door opening. He quickly moved back into the wheel chair, and took the break off, and wheeled himself into the living room. He gave Max a very strange look, and mouthed at her, ~What are you doing home?~

She smiled at him, "Nice to see you too." Then she walked over, and kissed him lightly, pulled away and walked into the kitchen, he followed her. "Had packages in the area, and thought I would drop by, see how you two were, and have some lunch with you, unless you already ate."

He shook his head no, and she nodded, "Good." She said, looking in the fridge, "Sandwiches?" She asked, and he nodded again. "Where's Joshua?" She asked, and Alec made the hand motions that he was out back. She nodded, and went to the back door, after setting the stuff on the table.

Alec went and started with the sandwiches as she left to go and get Joshua, she came back a few moments later. "He's not hungry. Probably been eating some of the garden." She said and smiled, then went and got some plates and two cans of pop.Max came back at sat next to him, taking a bite of the sandwich he just made.

~Hey!~ he mouthed at her, ~That was mine.~

She smiled at him, "But... it just looked so good... and..." She gave him a pouting look, and he rolled his eyes at her. 

~Fine, fine. I'll make mine better.~ 

She laughed at him, and took a drink of her pop, as they had lunch together.  
___________________________________

Alec was now back at the piano after Max had left to go back to work, as his fingers moved over the keys, he felt his body and mind calm, the music always comforting to him in some strange way. His hands danced faster as the music changed pace, his head swaying to it, his eyes closing, allowing for him to take in the sounds.

The notes coursed through him, as he continued, letting his mind go with the sound, his mind remembering his fingers playing over they keys of another piano, one from the past. He tried to shake the memories away, and changed songs quickly. Starting with a classical piece, and his memory shot back again, back behind the walls of Manticore, his hands playing over another piano, playing without the feeling they now held. 

He changed songs again, his eyes snapping open, as they flashed with an explosion, his head shaking to get rid of the memories. But it was too late, they were starting, he could feel their hands pulling him into the van, he could smell the fire of the car, he could hear his own screams as they drove away. 

He pushed the wheel chair away from the piano, trying to gain some distance from the object that caused him to remember. But it didn't work. Alec couldn't push away the images that where going through his mind, the memories that flooded his senses, ones he had tired so many times to forget. 

The lasers light at his eye, the images on the screen, the questions and pain. All because he had stopped being a solider for a short time, all because he allowed himself to feel something. He allowed someone to get close, allowed them to love him, allowed himself to love. Both ending up hurt. 

The images, the words, *Duty.* He shook his head, rubbing his eyes with his hands, *Honor.* He ran his hands over his face, *Discipline.* His heart rate got faster, the images changing, the questions changing, the pain inflicted on a smaller body, so much younger, but the words the same. 

*No, stop.* He kept telling himself, he didn't want to remember, he had forgotten that a long time ago. But trying to stop those images only brought more, more memories, more recent. Again different questions, different tests, different techniques. Trying to driving him crazy, see if maybe he was. 

His body was sweating, shaking, *Forget it! Forget all of it!* He said hitting his forehead with the palm of his hand, but he couldn't, the darkness wouldn't let go, he could feel it pulling him down, pulling him in.  
___________________________________

Max came home to find Joshua in the basement, organizing some of his older paintings, and looking for something. "Hey, Big Fella, where's Alec?" She asked him, after she hadn't found him in the living room or kitchen."

"Not sure, I think I heard him in his bedroom though."

Max nodded, *Probibly taking a lazy afternoon nap.* She thought and headed back up the stairs, she smiled to herself as she walked to the room, thinking of all the interesting ways she could wake him up. 

But those thoughts immediately left her as she opened the door. The room was dark, he was not on the bed, but she knew he was in the room, she could hear him, hear his heavy breathing, and she could smell the alcohol in the room. Her eyes focused in the lack of light, and she saw the empty bottle on the floor at the foot of the bed, saw the wheel chair turned over on it's side, and then she saw him.

He was hunched over, sitting in the corner of the room. He was looking straight at her, and she moved towards him, and his arms moved to wave her off, then his hands moved to sign at her to stay away.

She saw his head jerk, and his eyes close, his hands balled up in fists, his knuckles white. Max moved closer to him, his eyes opened quickly, and he again motioned for her to leave him alone. She got down on the floor, and tried moving closer to him, "Alec, what's wrong?" She asked him.   
___________________________________

His head jerked again, and more images, memories ran though him, nothing was working, nothing was letting him forget. His fists clenched again, he could feel the anger and pain running through him, as if the memories were real, as if it was happening all over again. 

Alec saw her crawling towards him, *No!* He screamed in his head, she reached out for him, and he brushed her away, ~Don't touch me.~ He mouthed at her, even though his body tried to yell it. His body jerked again at the memory of a broken bone, of the feel of electricity, of the images forced into his eyes. His fist hit the wall next to him, leaving a large dent in the plaster. 

His eyes caught her jumping back slightly, but then move forward again. ~I said NO!~ he mouthed at her again, her hand at his arm, he moved his quickly, sending her a few feet away from him. She looked back at him, ~Go away.~ 

"Alec, please... let me help."

He barely heard the words, but the sound of White's laughter entered his mind, and hate boiled through his body. His jaw clenched tightly, and he felt her hand on his arm once again, and fear washed over him, the image of a car exploding before his eyes. Pain gripping his heart, *Not again, never again.* He thought, as he felt Max move her hand to his shoulder, and his arms pushing her away again, "Nn..nnn..ooo...oooo."


	30. Chapter 30

Max jumped back slightly at the sound of his crackled yell. Her mind realizing that the words were actually heard and not just imagined. "Alec?" She questioned, looking at him, his hands and arms still trying to wave her away.

"Ssstt...aaayy... aaa..way." He said again, his voice still cracking. 

She sat back on the floor a few feet from him, staring at him, and she wasn't even sure if he had realized that he was actually talking to her. "Okay." She said softly, "I'm not coming any closer." His arms stopped moving, and he stared at her for a minute, like he was trying to take in her words, and then a slight confused look came over his face. "I heard you, Alec. I'll stay away... for now." She told him.

Max watched as the realization dawned on him, but it pained her to see that it didn't make him happy, it didn't bring him out of the state he was in. She had no clue what happened, but she knew something had clearly brought on a storm of memories, and she knew it was killing him. She wanted to reach out, touch him, comfort him, but he wouldn't let her near him. She needed to know why. 

"Alec, let me help you."

He shook his head violently, "Noo..oo"

She sighed, "Why?"

He put his face into his hands, "Ca...n't.... con...trol... the..m."

She was confused, "Control what?"

"Th...e... me..mor..ies,... my... se..lf."

"Then let me..." 

He cut her off, "NO! I'l..l hur..t... you.... I alwa..ys...."

She waited but he didn't finish his sentence but she already knew, she knew enough about his past to know why he was worried about it. She also figured from his reactions he wasn't just remembering what White had done to him. "Okay, I won't come any closer, you can't hurt me where I am right now." She said calmly, even though it pained her not to be able to touch him, hold him, and tell him he's okay. "Talk to me."

"No."

"Alec, you can't keep pushing it away, you can't hide from the memories, they will just keep coming back. You have to let them out, or they will eat away at you."  
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He didn't want to listen to her, he didn't want to talk about it, it was to much, to painful. It was easier to hide from it, easier to run, to not face the darkness. But in the end, he knew she was right, he had to deal with it. But he just couldn't with her, he was to scared, scared of what he might do. 

Alec also didn't want her to know, he didn't want to let her know what White had done to him, he knew she would feel guilty about it. No matter what he did, he knew he would hurt her in some way. 

"Talk to me. If you won't let me touch you, at least talk to me, now that you can."

He almost laughed, yeah, it was ironic. How long he had wanted to talk, to speak, and now it was the last thing he wanted to do. Yet he did realize, that since Max had come back, and now that they were actually talking, the memories, the flashbacks had stopped. His heart rate had returned to normal. *But that doesn't mean they won't return, won't return when I least expect it, and if she's near...* He let his own mind trail off.

"Alec, please."

He heard her, and rubbed his eyes with the palms of his hands, "I ca..n't."

Alec heard her sigh, "Yes, you can. Now, either talk to me, or I'm coming over there." 

His eyes snapped open at her threat, "No!" He yelled at her, "I'm not... hurt..ing... you ... agai..n."

"Alec, you didn't hurt me."

He looked at her in shock, "What? I sa..w the mar..ks... Ma..xxx. I know what... I did... I could have ... kill..ed you." He clenched his hand into a fist. 

"It wasn't you." 

He was thoroughly confused now, "It was my ha..nd Max. And I could do... it agai..n."

"Alec, you didn't know what you were doing. It wasn't you, you didn't know it was me. It's not your fault. Don't take it out on yourself. It's White's and Manticore's fault, not yours. You didn't know what you were doing."

"That doesn't make it al..right!" 

"I didn't say that, but you didn't know it was me. I know you would never hurt me."

It partially relieved him that she knew that, that she understood that, but it pained him that she didn't realize that it didn't matter. "That's just it, I can hu..rt you and not even kn..ow it."

"Well, I'll take my chances. I don't care, I want to touch you, be with you, help you, whether you like it or not. I don't care about what could happen."

"But I do care!" He yelled at her, "I couldn't hand..le..." He didn't finish, his mind trying to forget where he was leading himself. But it didn't do any good. He couldn't handle knowing that he hurt her again. He couldn't handle knowing that he was reponsible for the pain of someone he loved again, or worse.

He closed his eyes, his head tilting forward, and he heard her words. "Sometimes you hurt the ones you love, even if you don't mean too. Sometimes you can't control what you do, those closest to you suffer, and then so do you for doing it." He lifted his head to look at her. "And you can blame yourself, and guilt yourself, but it only makes things worse."

Alec knew what she was doing, she was trying to liken what he had done to her, with what she had done to him. But didn't she understand how different it was. "But.. you didn't try and... kill me."

"No, but I still used you, hurt you, and I did know it was you. Alec, you had no idea..."

He cut her off, "And that makes it worse. Don't you... see? What if I had..n't snapped out of it?"

"Stop with the what ifs. Alec, you need to face these memories, if you do, then maybe you'll be able to control them, control yourself."

He didn't want to listen to her, but he knew she had a point, but he didn't want to, he was drained. He rubbed his throat lightly, it wasn't used to speaking, and felt dry, and he watched her catch him.

"Do you want some water?"

He shook his head no, "No, I just... not used to talking."

Her face watched him, and he wondered what she was thinking until she spoke, "Oh no, don't use that to try and get out of this."

He lowered his head, shaking it slightly, a small smile going across his lips, and then it was gone. "No, Max... I can't now, not now." He sighed, and resigned himself to the fact that she wasn't going to give up, that she was going to keep pestering him about it, and there was nothing he could do about it. And all he felt like doing was crawling into bed, and going to sleep. His body and mind were exhausted from the painful ride it had taken. 

Alec started to pull himself to the bed with his hands on the floor. Max shot up and moved towards him to help, and he waived her away, "No, don't."

"Alec, please, come on. I can help."

"Max, it's not your help I'm saying... no to." He heard her sigh, as he pulled himself up onto the bed. She got on it with him, and he tried to push her away, but she moved to lay down next to him anyway. "Max." he said in a warning tone, his mind still worried, worried what he might do, if he feel asleep and had more flashbacks.

"To bad," she said moving her body next to his, and laying her head down on his chest. "Push me away, but you are going to have to fight me, really fight me. And I know you won't, so you're stuck with me."

He could hear it in her voice, she was determined, and knew she meant it. It pained him, but it also made his heart soar. To know that she loved him that much, he sighed. "Fine!" He said in a slightly angry voice, but only to let her know he didn't like it.

"What? You don't like my body pressed up against yours anymore?"

He almost laughed at her attempt at making him feel better, or change his thoughts. "Max, nice try. And you know... that's not it."

"I know," she said quietly next to him. Her hand came to the side of his face, and turned it to look at him. "I love you," she said, and leaned up and kissed him.

He felt her soft lips on his, and his mind sighed. *Why can't I have more control over myself? In many different areas.* He thought, as he felt himself giving in to her, letting her win over his better judgment. His arms held onto her, pressing her body close, as she broke the kiss and then laid her head back down on his chest. "I love you too," he told her, slightly happy he could actully tell her, but also knowing that was the problem, the problem was that he did love her. Alec slowly closed his eyes, and let the comfort of her next to him, fall into a deep sleep.


	31. Chapter 31

Max laid in the dark, her head on his shoulder, her hand holding his at his chest, while he slept. She had been asleep earlier, but now in the very early morning hours, she was awake. Awake just looking at him in the dark, listening to his even breathing and calm heartbeat. She wanted to reach up, run her fingers over his face, brush the hair from his forehead, but she didn't want to possibly disturb him. 

She moved her body closer to him, and felt his arm that was around her, slightly squeeze her to him, and she smiled. It was small things like that, that made her know, that they would be okay. That somehow they would get through all this together. She couldn't even express what it felt like to actually hear those three little words from his lips before he went to sleep. To actually hear him say that he loved her, had meant so much. But the moment wasn't one for joy, it was one for comfort. Something he so desperately needed. 

She could tell how torn he was, between what he needs and what he thinks is best. *He's so afraid, afraid to get hurt again. Not just from White, or Manticore, but from love.* She sighed slightly. Through the whole thing, him pushing her away, telling her not to touch him, she knew he wasn't doing it because he didn't want to be near her, or anything. She knew he was doing it because he loved her, she could see it in his eyes, that and his fear. His fear that her would hurt her, fear that he would cause himself more pain from loving her.

Max slightly hugged him to her. She couldn't imagine everything that he had been through, but she knew that most people would have lost it a long time ago. That most wouldn't be strong enough to go on. All the missions he had been on, the incident with Rachel, the times in psy-ops, and then, *White.*

Then she remembered his words, they seemed so long ago back at Crash, 'But you did what you had to do. Then you tried to forget. And when you couldn't forget, they had ways of making you not care.' At the time, she thought she understood what he had meant, but she knew now she never fully comprehended just how true, and profound those words were. 

Back then he tried to forget all the bad things Manticore made him do, and the stuff he couldn't forget, like Rachel, they tried to make him not care about. Not care about that stuff, because the pain of re-indoctrination was worse, the torture of psy-ops, probing your mind. She shuddered slightly at the thought next to him, and his arm pulled her closer in response.

Her mind replayed the earlier events in her head, coming into the room, and seeing him in the dark corner. Her heart had broke into a million pieces at seeming him like that, but she couldn't show it, she had to be strong, strong for him. But Max wasn't blind, she had also saw the empty scotch bottle on the floor. It was something that she would usually have dismissed, but she couldn't anymore.

She had always seen Alec drinking, and she had just assumed it was a social thing, a way to meet girls, and be out in the crowd. But as she laid there next to him now, with a clear head, thinking about the events of the night, and everything that she now knew about him. Max knew it wasn't that. He was trying to escape, trying to forget it, or make himself not care. The only problem with that she knew, is that being an X5, you would have to drink a whole heck of a lot, for alcohol to actually make them drunk. But that didn't mean that a few drinks didn't let them have a good buzz, a nice, numb feeling. 

*Numb,* she thought, *That's what he wants. He wants to numb the pain of the memories.* She sighed, and knew that it was impossible, that he couldn't hide from them forever, but how was she supposed to get him to realize that? Max looked up at him, as she felt him start to move, and shift next to her. 

Slowly his eyes opened, and she smiled up at him, "Hey," she said softly.

He blinked a few times, and pulled her up to him for a deep kiss. She was all to eager to respond, but then part way into the kiss, she felt him tense slightly, and she pulled away to look at him. And she saw the same fear there again, and she sighed lightly, knowing that he had fully come out of that somewhat dream state, and his mind remembered the events of a few hours before.

"I'm not leaving, or going anywhere, so you're stuck with me. Get used to it." She told him matter of factly.

"Max..."

"Don't Max me." She told him, moving slightly, to rest part of her chest on him, moving her hand up to the side of his face, allowing her to look down at him. "Alec, I'm hear for you, and no matter what, you can't change that. Besides, I know that deep down you don't want me to leave, you're just afraid."

She watched his eyes close, and heard the sigh come from him. "But it doesn't matter what I want, it matter's what is best."

She shook her head, "What is best is to talk about it, let it out. If you let it out, it can't sneak up on you anymore."  
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Alec sighed again, he knew that she was right. But he didn't want to talk about it, he didn't want to remember it, because if he did, it made it real. He didn't want to make it real, he just wanted to think of it as a very bad dream, tell himself that it never happened. 

But he also knew that, that wasn't true, and that it did happen. But more importantly, he didn't want to tell her, he didn't want her to know what had happened. He couldn't bare to tell her all the details, knowing that she would blame herself for it. 

"Max I just... can't."

He looked up at her, and felt her fingers run over his face, his eyes closed into the touch. Reveling in the simple comfort. *Why can't this just take away everything else. Why do I have to even think about the past? Let me just go on with the future. Let me forget everything that happened.*

"Yes you can, Alec. You don't have to do it all at once, but just let it out. Talk to me, I'm here, I want to listen."

"No, Max, you don't. You don't want to hear it."

He watched her, contemplate his words, "I wish I didn't have to hear it, cause I wish it never happened. And, yes, I'm sure that it will bother me. But it's better that you tell me, so that we can work this out, then you bottling it all up. I'd rather listen to it, then have you push me away."

He sighed, "Okay, okay." He told her, and pulled her down for a soft kiss, and then pulled away. His hands going to the sides of her face, as he looked up at her. "But you have to promise me something."

"Anything."

With one more soft kiss, he pulled away again, "Promise me, that when I tell you, when I talk to you about this, that you don't blame yourself. That you don't feel guilty about it. Because, it was NOT your fault. None of it was, okay? Promise me."

Alec watched her process what he said. "I can't." She said softly. "Alec, I can't promise that. I do feel responsible."

He closed his eyes, and sighed. At least she was being honest with him, but the idea bothered him. "Then if it's so important that I talk about it, maybe it should be someone else." Even though he hated the idea even more, he didn't want to talk to someone else, it was better for her.

"No, Alec. Who would you talk to? Sketchy? Cindy? They couldn't understand, and they have no idea what Manticore or White is capable of. Joshua?" She shook her head no vigorously at him, "It's to much for him to handle."

"You'd be surprised at what Joshua can handle." He told her, but knew that he didn't want to tell him either. "Max, I just know that you will..."

She cut him off, "Alec... don't you think that I already feel that way? Don't you think that I already have thoughts in my mind about what they did to you? I might as well find out the truth, and help you in the process."

He sighed, he could tell he wasn't going to win this argument, *Do I ever win?* he asked himself. "Fine, fine. But I get to decide when I talk, and how much I say." He could see her try to interrupt, but he didn't let her. "And... AND when I want to stop, or not go on, you can't push."

She nodded slowly, "Okay, I understand. It's only right." She leaned back down and gave him a small kiss, and he hugged her to him. She pulled away slightly. "So, are you ready to talk? Even just a little bit?"

He sighed, "Okay, a little bit." He thought for a minute, *Where do I even begin?*


	32. Chapter 32

Max settled her head back on his shoulder, her hand still holding his at his chest, and she waited, waited for him to speak. To start to tell her what happened to him, to let him face it by acknowledging that it really happened. She felt him sigh next to her, and she could only imagine how difficult it was for him, her hand squeezed his lightly.

"I don't know where..." his voice trailed off.

She tilted her head to look up at him, "Okay, why don't you start with what happened today." He gave her a confused look. "Something happened today, that triggered all this, why not start there?" She asked him gently.

He nodded at her, and then closed his eyes, as if it was easier for him to talk, and think about it without having to look at her, but at the same time his hand held on tightly to hers, like a lifeline. Max turned her body, to lay it over his chest, her one one arm under her chin, so she could still look at him. 

"I was playing the piano." He said simply, and she nodded lightly against his chest, indicating she was listening. "But the music... the music started to bring back memories, memories of.... well... it was a long time ago." He said and stopped.

Max sighed lightly, she knew what he was doing, he was pushing it away again. "Tell me," she said softly.

"Tell you what?" He asked.

She already knew what those memories were of, and she now understood why he had tried to push her away again. "Tell me about her, about Rachel." She felt him tense slightly under her, his grip lightening on her hand, almost letting go. "Tell me what really happened, and what happened after." She felt him tense again on her last word.

Time seemed to stand still as she waited, waited for some answer. She watched his face contort, as if he was trying to think of a way to answer, or not too. Finally his voice came out, "I was sent to learn how much of a threat her father was to Manticore, and if need be, take him out." His voice almost cold, detached. "My cover was her piano instructor." She nodded again, now fully understanding what the piano had to do with the memories. 

"It was decided he was a threat, I was ordered to take them both out. You know the result." He said, and she waited, but nothing else was coming from him. 

She moved up closer to him, her hand moving to the side of his face, and his eyes opened to look at her. "That's not all of it, and you know it."

"Max..."

She shook her head, "Telling a brief synopsis of what happened is not going to help, and you know that." He closed his eyes again. She rolled over to her side, and pulled at him, until he rolled facing her, she wrapped her arms around him, hugging him, then pulled slightly to rest her forehead against his. "Tell me about her."

"No."

"Alec.."

He moved away from her, using his arms to roll away, and turn his back to her, "I said no."

Max took a deep breath, and pressed herself against his back, wrapping her arms around him, putting her face at his neck. "Why?" 

"Max... do you really want to hear about another woman that I love?" She flinched slightly at his words, but the one that got her the most was the last one, it was present tense, not past. "Do you really want to hear how she made me feel? That for the first time in my life I actually felt alive? And that I was the one that killed her? Do you really want to know that?"

She closed her eyes, *No, I don't.* She thought to herself, but she knew that wasn't an option. "You need to talk about it, and I want what is best for you. So, yes, I want you to tell me."

"Fine," he said, and she could almost detect some anger in his voice. Which in a way, she was grateful for, because when he got angry, he usually let her have it, and you couldn't shut him up. "She was... perfect, for not being genetically engineered. Sweet, caring, so innocent. She loved her father, her studies, her music.... and me." 

She felt his shoulders slightly slump in front of her, and her arms wrapped around him a little tighter. "We spent a few weeks together, as I gathered information on her father. It was all new to me... these emotions. I didn't know how to process them, think about them. We weren't trained for that." 

His hands came up to hers, and held onto her fingers, interconnecting them with his. "When she told me...told me that she loved me..." His voice was shaking slightly. "I was never more afraid in my life. But then I got my orders." His body stiffened again, "I told them I could just take out the father, but they wanted to send a message. I was told not to question orders. But... I should have, I should have..." 

She watched his head shake slightly, "I placed the car bomb, everything was ready. But... but I couldn't do it. I ran into the house, I tried to stop her. Told her to run, to go away. She didn't understand." His words were coming out faster, like his mind was reliving it all again. 

"I told her the truth, I told her she was my job. My fucking job! I told her that. The look on her face... the last words I told her. She ran out, I tried to follow, but... the car exploded. A van pulled up, they had detonated it, and pulled me inside, back to Manticore." 

She could feel his increased heartbeat under her fingers, his body slightly shaking, and she was in slight shock. She could hear the pain, confusion, and emotion in his voice, but she knew she would never understand what he was feeling. 

"I didn't know until... recently what actually happened. She died... not knowing... thinking that she was only... my job... thinking she meant nothing..." 

Max pulled him tighter to her, "She knew you loved her." She said, "You told her. She heard you."

His arms moved and he flipped over quickly to look at her, "What do you mean she heard me?" 

Alec's eyes searched hers, as she looked at him, his eyes wide. She swallowed, "I heard you talking to her, while she was in a coma. I heard you tell her you loved her, she heard you." Her hand went to the side of his face, "I'm sorry I eavesdropped."

He closed his eyes, and then opened them slightly, "You really believe that?" he asked her, his eyes almost seeming hopeful, and she nodded yes. His eyes closed again, and she swore she almost felt a little bit of tension leave his body. As if some weight, some brick out of the ton he was carrying was lifted off of him.   
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*Oh, please it let it be true.* He thought. He needed to know that she knew how he felt, that she was more to him than just a job, so much more. "I should have saved her, I should have stopped them."

"Alec, it wasn't your fault." 

He heard her words, but shook his head, "Yes it was, I put the bomb on the car, it was my mission. I should have warned her a long time before, I should have told them before. I should have stopped them, I could have..." 

"You didn't detonate the bomb, Manticore did."

"Then I shouldn't have placed it."

"If you didn't do it, then they would have had someone else do it."

"Not if I would have warned them, told them to leave the country, to go away." He didn't want to hear it, it was his fault. He had killed the woman he loved, that was all there was too it. "I loved her, and I killed her. She died because of me. I bring pain and suffering to anyone I care about. Her... you. Don't you see... it'll end the same way."

"No it won't." Her hand came to the side of his face, forcing him to look at her. "Manticore did that, caused that, not you. And you saved me, you saved me from them. Your love saved me, and it saved her too."

His mind didn't understand her, "What?" His eyes were on her face, trying to take in what she said, what her response would be.

"Your love for me, saved my life. You risked your own life, for mine, you went through so much for me." Her fingers trailed over his face, and she continued. "And, your loved saved Rachel too." 

He didn't understand that part at all, "How? She's dead."

Max nodded at him, "Yes, she is. Alec... she was in a coma for two years, one that she wasn't going to come out of." He tensed at her words, his heart heavy, knowing it was his fault for her being like that. "She couldn't let go, something was troubling her, keeping her here. She heard your words, she heard you tell her you loved her, she heard you were sorry. She accepted it, you let her let go, to finally get peace."

He listened to her words, his eyes closing, and before he could even comprehend it, her fingers were lightly brushing away the tears on his cheeks. His face moved into the side of her neck, and he felt her arms pull him closer to her. "Thank you." he said very softly into her ear. While the guilt over what happened would never go away, somehow that thought, what Max had said, made him feel better. Made it so that he could accept it, see it a little differently.   
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She barely heard him, but his words told her that he accepted her explanation, one that she did truly believe. Her heart ached, as she held him. Part of her felt horrible because of the way she felt about him talking about someone else, with such love, such emotion. Wondering if he even felt half of that towards her. But, she pushed those thought away, it wasn't the time or place to be thinking of that. She loved him, and he needed her, needed her to be objective and there for him, not jealous of a past love. 

*But you can never compete with a Ghost.* The little voice in her head told her, but she pushed it away. It didn't matter, the ghost may be able to haunt you, but it can never come back to life. Unfortunately, in a way, Max wished it could, she wished Rachel could come back from the dead, just so that he wouldn't be in so much pain. Even if it did mean losing him to her. 

Her hands rubbed his back, in a comforting motion, and then she looked up into his eyes when he pulled back. Her hand going to wipe away the remaining wetness from his cheeks. She didn't know whether to push on or let it go for now. She knew there was so much more to talk about, to go through, but she could tell how draining just this was. She decided to push on, and if he didn't want to, then they could stop, but might as well try. Her hand went to the side of his face again, "What happened after they got you back to Manticore?" 

She saw him visibly tense again, his eyes closing, she could see his eyes moving under the lids. Obviously memories being triggered by the question. "You know." He said simply.

Max shook her head, "No, I don't know."

"I didn't follow orders. You know what happens." She shook her head again. No, she didn't know, she had heard rumors about what would happen. She went through some things when she was captured by them again, but she was sure it wasn't the same. "Re-indoctrination." He stated.

She nodded at him, and waited, but he didn't say anything. "What did they do?"

"Max, you don't need to know..."

"No, I don't need to know, but you need to tell me." She told him, "Tell me what happened after they dragged you into the van."  
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He sighed, he didn't want to talk about it. How was he supposed to talk about the things that they did to him, that they did to test him, to break him? His mind almost seemed to replay the events, and his voice became somewhat detached to it, emotionless. "They dragged me into a room, white walls. Strapped me to some chair, table thing. Metal restraints, all over, couldn't move, couldn't look away from the screen. Couldn't close my eyes from the images, the laser. Images of death, missions, soldiers. Words of duty, honor, mission. Played over and over. Questions about the mission, shocks for the wrong answer or for no answer."

Alec could feel her arms pull him closer to her, trying to comfort him, but it didn't do any good, as the words and thoughts just seemed to pour from him. The memories of the time jumbling together, it was hard to keep straight the order they happened in. "Screaming, yelling, them drilling into your head that you are nothing, nothing but a solider. If you can't complete your mission, you are useless, not needed. That I failed, failed the mission. Pain for failure. Pain for the wrong answer. Pain for not answering. Pain for feeling things that they didn't want you to feel, that they didn't want you to know about."

Manticore didn't want him to ever feel alive, to love, to feel anything. And that was the problem, he had a taste of it, and he didn't want to lose it, but they didn't want him to remember it. "They tried to make me forget. Tried to brainwash me, take away my memories. More pain, when they couldn't do it. Locked in solitary for days, weeks, I don't know." He couldn't remember how long it was, it seemed like a life time, but it didn't matter, he didn't care. "I didn't care anymore, I didn't care what they did, I didn't care about the pain, or the questions, or anything. There was no reason to care anymore, no reason for anything to matter. Any reason I had was gone, they won."  
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Max heard his words, his voice, and tried to not let her body shudder, so he wouldn't know how much they affected her. The look of emptiness and loss in his eyes, told so much. And so much of his personality, of the way he acted, the way he always acted was starting to make perfect sense. 

He fingers moved back the hair from his forehead, and she kissed it lightly, then looked back at him. Then she heard him, and he repeated his last words again. "They won, I let them win. Because I just didn't care anymore. I became their good little solider again. I went on their missions, I completed them, no questions asked. I killed more people like I was ordered to, I did my job, as if it was nothing."

His voice was cold to her ears, as if he was in complete solider mode once again. But she could tell he was troubled by it, he hated the idea of what he did because of Manticore. "But, you didn't truly let them win, I mean... you did have that little black market thing going on inside."

The laugh she heard made her uneasy, it was to hard, "Why not do it, I didn't care anymore what they did to me." She didn't know what to say, and he went on. "Why should I care? They didn't. They didn't care what happened to us. We were just like some piece of hardware to them. All made so that when one stops working, scrape it and get a new one. When one is messing up, look at another one and try and figure out why it's not working right. Poke at it, prod it, beat it. It doesn't matter, it's just a tool, another thing that can be thrown away when it's not useful anymore."

She let his words wash over her, and she just wanted to hug him, and tell him how untrue it was. But he was right, Manticore did feel that way about them. The only thing was, that troubled her, was that he seemed to feel like it was true, that he was truly something that could just be thrown away. And his words also caused her to think about something else. *When one is messing up.... look at another.... Ben.* She thought, with a slight sigh in her head. 

Max knew that Ben had caused Alec more pain then he had ever told her. He had told her about the six months of psy-ops because of him when Ben had been killing. But he never told her that he had another six months of it earlier when they escaped. She remembered Sam telling her about all the twins and clones of the escapees having to endure it, to make sure they wouldn't run. 

"How was psy-ops different than re-indoctrination." She asked him softly, and she watched his eyes look over her.

"Max, no... I don't want to talk about those six months right now, not now."

"So there was only once, not twice?"

His eyes widened at her, "What do you mean, twice?" 

She knew he was asking how she knew that, "Sam told me about having it after the escape..." She trailed off, and watched his eyes close, and his jaw tense, confirming her thoughts.

"Not now, Max. Not now." His head shook, his body tense.

"Okay, okay, lets go back to before then. You know that just because that's how Manticore viewed everyone that..."

He cut her off, "Max, stop. No more." 

She looked up at him, looking him in the eye, seeing the cold look still in his eyes. The emptiness, still haunting him from before, as if he was back there again. "Alec, you aren't..."

"Stop, I said stop." He told her pulling away from her, and rolling to his back.   
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He didn't want to hear anymore, he couldn't. He didn't want to hear her comforting words, trying to tell him everything was okay, that it was going to be okay. He just didn't want to think about it anymore, he didn't want the thoughts in his head anymore. He had already relived to much, thought about to much, his brain was still trying to process it all. 

The anger and confusion was still running through him, all the memories fresh in his brain. He couldn't face them anymore, at least not now, and he really didn't want her to push it. He hated pushing her away, but he didn't know what else to do. And then he heard her words, with a slight sigh, "Okay. We'll stop... for now."

He closed his eyes, he knew she would be asking again, but at least she had stopped for tonight. He felt some of the tension leave him, knowing that the questions would stop, that he could for awhile push things away again. He took a deep breath, and then felt her hand move over his chest, and he opened his eyes to look at her. 

"Just let me say this..." He was about to interrupt her, but her finger went over his lips, and she continued. "I'm glad you opened up to me. I know it was extremely difficult, as will the rest be. I'm not going to push, but that doesn't mean I won't try and nudge a little." That almost brought a small laugh from him, at how typical that was of her. "Now, since we went to bed so early, I know neither of us had dinner. So, how about I go make us some sandwiches and bring them back, okay?"

"Okay." He said softly, realizing that in fact he was really hungry.

"Okay," she said, and leaned down and gave him a soft kiss, "I'll be right back." She told him then got up from the bed and headed to the door, before she left it, she turned back to him, "Oh, and just so you know. No one, and nothing, could ever replace you." She said, then left.

He watched her go, and couldn't help the very small smile that curled up his lips. He sighed and laid his head back into the pillow. He tried to let the tension is his body leave him, it's just that he was still worked up with the thoughts of what they did to him, but he tried to push them away, at least for the time being. 

And he tried to refocus his thoughts on before, on what Max had said about Rachel. He hoped it was true, he hoped she had heard him, that she knew how he felt, that he had helped her in some way. That he had somehow brought her some peace. Because if that was true, it made it just a little bit easier to live with himself, with the guilt. But then he tried to push those thoughts away as well, he didn't want to dwell on them anymore. 

He used his arms to stretch himself out on the bed, and tried to clear his mind. He focused this thoughts back on his legs again, and again he felt the muscles tense slightly in his right leg, he concentrated harder, and felt his toes twitch a little. He concentrated on his left foot, clenching his jaw tightly in effort, he felt his toes move against the sheet.

Alec could just about feel his heel starting to move against the bed, when he stopped immediately at the sound of footsteps coming back to the door. He watched Max move into the room, and turn on the light, holding a tray with plates and glasses. "Dinner in bed." She said with a smile.   
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Her smile got bigger, when she actually saw one returned to her on his face. In the time it took for her to make the sandwiches and get back, it seemed like he had calmed down, and got back to himself. She didn't know if that made her happy or not. It was good in that he was in a better mood, and things seemed to be okay. But at the same time, she knew what was just under the surface of that, and it made her wonder if he was really okay right now, or it was just a mask for her. She decided to just go with it because after everything, a little happiness was needed.

She sat the tray on the bed, and climbed in next to him, and she felt him move and sit up next to her, "That's more than sandwiches." He said. 

Max looked at the try, with two sandwiches, two glasses of milk, potato chips, and big bowl of strawberries from the garden. "Well, it all looked so good." She said with a smile, and popped a potato chip into her mouth. 

"Oh no, we are going to get crumbs in the bed." She ate another one, chopping louder and she got the desired effect, a laugh from him. He grabbed a few and began chomping away at them too, making her giggle. They then both took their sandwiches, and just about devoured them. "I guess we were hungry," he said, taking another drink of his milk, after he was done with his sandwich.

She smiled over at him, sat down her glass, and brought her hand up to his cheek, to turn him to look at her. "Do you know how nice this is?" She said to him, having just realized how wonderful it really was. He gave her a confused look, and she explained. "Talking to you, hearing you. I missed it, so much."

"You have no idea how nice it is, to be able to talk," he said leaning into her touch, then bringing his own hand up to the back of her neck, and slowly bringing her towards him, their lips meeting, in a soft kiss. "To be able to tell you what I feel," he said looking at her. She looking into his hazel eyes, watched the emotion play through them, and her face inched back towards him, her lips grazing against his once again, then felt his hand push her closer, deepening the kiss.   
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He broke away reluctantly, and looked at the tray, then picked up one of the strawberries out of the bowl. He watched her eyes looking at it, and saw her lick her lips slightly and he smiled. "Want one?" he asked her, and she nodded, looking at him with big eyes, a grin on her face.

Alec picked up the bowl from the tray with his other hand, and then motioned for her to move the tray. She moved it off the bed, and then quickly moved back over to him, as he shift himself to set back against the head board. He almost laughed at the way she was eyeing him with the bowl. He moved his hand out towards her, and she opened her mouth, and then closed her eyes, waiting for it. He swallowed hard at the sight.

He teased her slightly with it, tracing her lips with the ripe fruit, watching her mouth try to follow it. Then her teeth biting it off once it got into her mouth, a little juice running down her chin. Her hand coming up to brush it away, but his hand caught hers, and he pulled her towards him, his mouth moving towards her chin, kissing it away instead.

Her brown eyes staring up at him, her hand moving to the bowl, grabbing out another strawberry. He watched her bring it towards him, placing it at his lips. He opened his mouth, slowly taking it in, biting down at just the tips of her fingers. His hand reaching for another one, a nice large one. He watched her face, her eyes again, as he held it up. She moved up, and over him, her body facing him, straddling his waist. He groaned slightly as she sat back down on him, her eyes still on the fruit. 

Alec moved it towards her, and watched her eyes close again, he touched her lips with it, before she could bite it, he moved it away, and her eyes opened to look at him, and he brought it to his own mouth. Her mouth opened, and she looked like she was going to object, as put part of it in his mouth. Then she was, "Alec..." His hand moved to the back of her neck, and pulled her in to him, and then a smile came on her face.

Her mouth opened around the other half, their lips meeting over the ripe strawberry. Their teeth biting it in half, mouths still together, lips moving, breaking away only slightly to chew. But his hand in her hair, moving her back quickly to his mouth, his tongue darting out lick at her lips, then enter her mouth. Tasting her and the strawberries. Her arms moving around his neck, pulling him closer, her body pressing up against his, making him groan into her mouth again. 

Then her mouth was gone, and he opened his eyes, to see her pulling away. He was confused for a minute, then watched her quickly move the bowl onto the night stand. Then her hands were back on him, and before he knew it, his shirt was coming up over his body, and being flung into the corner of the room. He smiled at her, "Eager?" He asked her, and his only response was a shift of her hips.

He didn't need any further encouragement, as his hands quickly removed her top as well, throwing it in the same direction as his, and then pulling her body to his, his head lowering to her neck, kissing, licking, and nipping lightly at the warm flesh. Hearing her whimper, he continued on, his hand moving down her body, to pull her closer, higher, so his mouth could continue down her chest. Her hands in his hair, her hips grinding against him, driving him crazy.

His mouth took in a hardened nipple, his tongue swirling over it, his ears hearing her intake of breath, her hands at the back of his head, holding him there. Sucking at it gently, his other hand moving to the other one, his thumb moving over it circles, his palm squeezing the plump flesh. He felt her trying to move closer to him, her sounds driving him on. His mouth switching sides, giving the other one the same attention, his body reacting to the taste of her, the feel of her against him, almost painfully so.

Then her hands were moving, in-between them, unbuttoning, unzipping his pants, his eyes closed, and he moaned against her skin, as her fingers moved inside, grasping his erection, pulling it from it's confines. "Maxxx..." He moaned against her, his teeth slightly biting at the nipple, making her emit a loud gasp.

She moved away from him, crawling down his body, her hands at the waist bad of his pants. He moved his hands to the bed, and hoisted himself up slightly, allowing her to pull them down his hips, then the rest of his legs. Standing, she quickly rid herself of the rest of her clothes. He took a deep breath as he watched her, seeing the wild look in her eyes, as she crawled back up the bed towards him. 

She licked her lips, her eyes intent on her destination, and they weren't on his face. His arms reached out to her, before she got there, and pulled her up to him, his mouth immediately on hers, his tongue tasting her, his hands at her hips, lifting her over him, and before she could say anything, he lowered her down onto him, in one fast motion. He groaned as he watched her head fall back, and her mouth issue out a small scream, with a jerk of her hips. 

His mind was swimming in pleasure, the feeling of her around him, already so hot, wet, his hands on her hips pulled her tighter onto him, making them both moan again. His hands then began to move her on him, and her hips started to comply as well, as she sat up, her head moving, her eyes looking back at him. Her hands moving around his neck, moving their sitting bodies close to each other. Their mouths coming together, lips clashing, tongues dueling, tasting. 

His hands moving her body on him, up and down, over and over, faster and faster. Pulling her back down on him, the pace increasing, as she responded, rocking her hips back at him. Her hands moving over his shoulders down his back, trying to pull him closer. His mind barely able to keep up with the sensations washing though him. His hips jerking up at her, his knuckles white, grasping her hips tightly to him, again and again, moving over him, up and down, harder, faster. 

He could feel the muscles in her legs shaking, as she moved faster on him, her lips leaving his, as her head tilted back, her back arching against him. His one hand left her hip, and moved between them, his mouth moving back to her breast, sucking at the taunt peak, hearing her gasp again. His hand traveling down her front, fingers moving into dark curls, where there bodies were being joined, again and again. His thumb finding the hardened bundle of nerves, flicking lightly against it, feeling her body shiver against his. "Aleccc..." Her voice trembled, as he felt her body begin to respond.

Her hips were moving frantically over him, his hips jerking up at her, his thumb moving against her, his other hand pulling her onto him, his mouth moving up to her neck, his teeth lightly grazing the skin. Then he felt her, her body shaking, and then her inner muscles clamped down around him, over and over, and his head fell back from her, his hips moving up against her, his hand gripping her tightly down onto him. 

Alec barely heard her scream, because of his own, "Maxxx." he let out, as his whole world went white, in a blinding flash, his body exploding inside of her, her arms pulling him tightly to her, her inner muscles doing the same, again and again, making his whole body jerk against her, as they rode the almost painful waves of pleasure that went through them. 

His body fell back against the head board, and she went with him, collapsing on his chest. His arms holding her to him, as they tried to regain their breath. She slowly looked up at him, and he leaned down, giving her a light kiss, then moaned as she moved slightly, their bodies still connected. She moved to get up, but her pulled her back to him, "No." he said softly, holding her tightly against him. Not wanting her to leave yet. 

She smiled up at him, and laid her head against his chest, over his heart. His hands moved through her hair, then settled over the warm skin of her back, stroking it lightly. His one hand came up, to tilt her chin back to look up at him, and he leaned down again and kissed her, his hand moving to the side of her face. "Max... I love you."

"I love you too," she said, her hand coming up, and pulling him in for another kiss. He closed his eyes, and took a deep breath as she leaned back down, resting her head against his shoulder. He felt content, and peaceful at that moment, and he didn't want it to end. But with a slight yawn, he knew they had to move, he couldn't sleep sitting up. They reluctantly separated, and moved around the bed. As they settled in, he wrapped his arm around her, and pulled her back to his front. He felt her scoot herself back against him, and he smiled. 

"Good night," he said whispering into her ear, placing a soft kiss right behind it. And he smiled when no answer was forthcoming, as he could already feel her even breathing. Her pulled her tighter to him, and closed his eyes, nuzzling his nose into her hair, catching her scent, his mind slowly drifting off with hers.


	33. Chapter 33

A couple more days had passed, Max was at work and Joshua was reading a book as usual. Which left Alec to do what he wanted, which thankfully now, was a heck of a lot more than he could have done a little over a week ago. He dried off the last bowl from breakfast and sat it on the counter. He put the brake on the chair, and then moved his arms to the counter, pulling him up, his one arm opened the cupboard, and then put the bowls away.

Alec looked around the kitchen, he was alone. He closed his eyes, and took his other hand off the counter, letting himself balance on his feet, keeping his mind focused on the task. He could feel his legs start to wobble, and one hand moved to the counter to help steady himself. Then he tried again, this time a little longer, before his hand shot back out to hold on so he wouldn't fall over. 

*Don't stop,* he told himself. With his hands grasping the counter, he tried to move his right foot. He could feel his toes start to move, and he concentrated harder, then slowly felt his foot slide across the floor slowly. His lips turned into a small smile, and then he tried the other foot, sure enough, it slowly moved against the kitchen tile as well.

"Alec?"

With those words he almost slipped and feel on his ass, his head turned around quickly, seeing an empty room, then he realized it was Joshua calling for him. He quickly moved and sat back down, then answered, "In here!" taking off the break, he wheeled towards the doorway, meeting Joshua there. "What's up Big Fella?" He asked him, and smiled.

He remembered saying that to him in the morning a few days earlier, the look on his friends face was priceless. The hug he got had lifted him out of the chair, and off the ground a good foot. 

"Television."

"I thought you were reading."

Joshua shook his head no, and Alec laughed slightly. *Guess, I have been a bad influence.*

But he just motioned at him, "News.." he said and walked into the other room, Alec followed him, and moved in front of the TV. 

The reporters were talking back and forth, "Do we have a description of the person?" The news anchor behind the desk asked.

The reporter at the scene nodded, "We have a slight description, a female, long black hair, dark eyes, medium height. And from the reports, she appears to be one of the X series that we heard about."

Alec sighed, *What has she done?* He asked himself, trying to figure out what was going on.

The news anchor came back on, "There you have it. The five captured transgenics from earlier this morning, have escaped with the help of another of their kind." Joshua turned off the TV, and Alec looked up at him.

"What happened?"

Joshua shook his head, "I don't know. They didn't give much information."

Alec sighed, and wheeled himself over to the coffee table, picking up the cell phone, and immediately paged her number. *Come on Max, where are you? And what are you doing?* He thought, upset that she hadn't even told him, and more upset that he couldn't have helped her even if she did.

Joshua paced in front of him as Alec drummed his fingers on the armrest of his wheel chair. *What was taking her so damn long?* He thought, *The news report didn't give enough information. Was she hurt?* He jumped slightly when the phone rang, he flipped it open, "Hello?" He asked quickly.

{{It's me.}}

"What took you so long?" He asked her, his heartbeat slowly starting to return to normal, since she sounded okay.

{{Well... uhh... You saw the news, huh?}}

"Yeah, I saw the news. What the hell do you think you were doing?"

{{Excuse me?}}

"You heard me."

{{Well, I didn't think I needed your permission to help out our kind!}}

He winced at the tone of her words, "That's not what I meant and you know it." He sighed, "We can talk about this later. Where are you?"

He heard her tempered huff on the other end, {{I'm in Terminal City.}}

"What? Why?"

{{Because that's where all the transgenics are going. It's the only semi safe place in the city. I'm going to get out of here, and then come back home.}}

He sighed, he had a lot he wanted to say, but it could wait. "Okay, but be careful. They are on a lookout for someone that meets your description. But thankfully it's only a very general one. Which makes me wonder why White just didn't supply them with a photo of you."

Alec heard the pause on the other end, {{That's a good question. I'll be there in a little bit. Bye.}}

"Bye." He said and the phone went dead. He sighed looking up at Joshua, "Well, at least she's okay." He thought, and then his fist hit the arm rest again in frustration. *I should have been there with her.* He thought, looking up at Joshua's understanding face.

Max walked into the house a couple hours later, and was immediately greeted with "What took so long?"

She sighed, "Do you know how hard it is to get out of Terminal City without being seen?" 

Joshua looked at the the two between him, patted Max on the shoulder, "Glad you're okay Little Fella," he said and then retreated out of the room towards the basement, leaving them alone. 

"Why didn't you tell me?" He asked her, wheeling himself over to her. 

She dropped her bag on the floor, and looked at him. "As I said, I wasn't aware that I had to tell you everything I did."

He was getting angry, "Max, that's not what this is, and you know it. I'm not trying to keep tabs on you! This is very different."

"Okay, fine, I tell you, then what?" She shot back, anger in her voice, and then he watched her face immediately regret her words. "Alec... I didn't.."

He closed his eyes, "Just don't. Trust me, I know I can't help you." He swung the chair around so he didn't have to look at her. "But at least if me or even Joshua knew what you were doing... if something went wrong... we might be able to at least get you help." He said closing his eyes. *What if something had went wrong? What if she just disappeared and he had no idea what happened?*

"Hey, I've been on plenty of missions all by myself with no one knowing where I was, a long time before you came around."

He turned back to her, "Yeah, and those were all before White! Before everyone in the world was out against the transgenics." He yelled back at her, and sighed, motioned to himself, "Before all of this you wouldn't have hesitated to drag me along on your little rescue missions. Now you don't even tell me about them. How many have you been on, that I don't even know about? How many has there been, that hasn't been on the news?"

He knew just by the look in her eyes that he had her, she had been hiding them from him, "Damn it Max! After all this... and you are keeping this shit for me?" He was pissed, extremely so, but most of all he was hurt. He shook his head, squeezing his eyes tightly shut. His hand going over his face, and into his hair. 

"Only a couple," her small voice answered and he looked up at her, his eyes disbelieving, "Okay... a few... less than ten or fifteen."

His hands grabbed at the armrests, knuckles white. "What all are you keeping from me Max? You didn't want me watching the news before, was that another reason? Now you aren't telling me that you are going and rescuing transgenics, from White no less! What all are you keeping from me? Why are you doing this?"

"I didn't want to tell you. I knew you wouldn't like it."

"Damn straight!" He yelled back, he hated the idea. "But it's not like there would have been a whole hell of a lot I could have done to stop you. So what else is there?"

She shook her head, "Nothing."

He didn't believe her, "Yeah, right. What aren't you telling me?" He watched her, conflicted, and knew she was trying to decide whether to tell him, and that made him more upset. Knowing that he was asking her for the truth, and she was still having a hard time giving it to him. 

"I've been helping out in Terminal City, getting supplies, helping them organize. Setting up missions, trying to stop White."

His eyes went wide, "Max... why didn't you tell me? I might be able to help, help set up the raids, something." 

Alec looked at the fear that washed over her face, "No!" She said quickly.

Confusion entered his mind, "Why? I do know quite a bit about that, unless..." His heart dropped at the thought, "Unless you really think I'm that completely unreliable and unable to do anything."

She shook her head, "That's not it at all, I know you would be perfect for the job."

"Then why Max? Why not let me help? Worried I'll go off the deep end in flashbacks?" It worried himself, maybe that was the reason, but a room full of other transgenics would be able to restrain him, especially him in a wheel chair. "Or is it because of this?" He asked indicating the chair.

She shook her head, "Alec... no, it's none of that." She turned to him, "Really it's not."

"Then what the hell is it?" He watched her, and she turned her back to him, and he wheeled up behind her, "Tell me!" She would look at him. "Max? Why?" He reached out and grabbed her wrist, trying to turn her towards him, "Why?"

"Just because."

"That's not an answer." She shook her head at him, not responding. "Damn it Max, I know if it wasn't for me being like this, you would have told me, and I would be there helping you."

"No you wouldn't." She said softly.

"What?" He asked her, barely hearing her.

She looked at him, "No, you wouldn't. I wouldn't have told you either way."

Now he was really confused, "Why the hell not?"

"Because."

"Because why?!" His temper was rising at her evading his questions. "Why?" He yelled again, when she didn't answer.

"Because I don't want to lose you again!" She yelled back quickly, her face contorting, water starting to fill her eyes. She blinked and tear ran down her cheek, "I don't know what I'd do... if... they took you away again."

His anger seemed to fade away in an instant, and his hand on her wrist pulled her to him, and she was soon sitting on his lap, his arms around her. "Max," he said softly, his eyes closing, his face moving into her hair. "Don't you see, that's why I was so upset that you didn't tell me. I don't want to lose you either."

Her arms tightened around him, her body slightly shaking, "I can't lose you again, I can't." 

Alec held her tightly against him, his one hand stroking her hair, her back. He knew how she felt, he wanted to promise her that she wouldn't lose him, he wanted to hear the same words from her, but those were promises he knew they could never make. She pulled away slightly and looked up at him, and his hand came to her face, lightly wiping away the tears.

"I just..." She tried to talk, her voice catching slightly, "I just wanted to protect you, I never meant to hurt you." 

His hand cupped the side of her face, and he let out a light sigh, "I know," he said, "But Max... not telling me, does a lot worse. What if something happened? Do you really think I would just sit here and not do anything?"

She closed her eyes, and leaned back in against him, hiding her face in his neck, and he just held onto her, knowing that there wasn't going to be a response to his question, and knowing that there wasn't one needed. They sat there for a few minutes, and then she slowly pulled away again to look at him. "I'm sorry." She said, "I didn't..."

He shushed her softly, "I know." He said, and leaned in and kissed her gently. Then he pulled away, his hand still at her face, his thumb lightly moving over her cheek. "Just let me help, please. Even if it is only keeping me updated on what you are doing." He hated that idea, but preferred it to not knowing. 

"I'll see what we can do." She said.

"Max?" He said, not wanting to, but he had to ask, "Is there anything, anything else that you are keeping from me?"

"Not that I know of." She told him.

He nodded, "Promise me that you won't keep things from me again. No matter what they have to deal with." He saw her hesitate. "Max... please."

"I promise." She said softly, looking at him, and he nodded, kissing her lightly again.   
___________________________________

Alec rolled over onto his side, and tried to close his eyes to the sun that came in through the window on the early Saturday morning, but mostly he was trying to block out the voice next to him. "Alec... it's been days, come on."

He sighed, "No." She wrapped her arms around him from behind, and he sighed, "You promised you wouldn't push."

"I'm not pushing, I'm nudging." She said softly, "You know the sooner..."

"Yes, yes, I know, I know. The sooner I supposedly deal with all those damn memories of Manicore and White, the sooner I'll be okay." He flipped over to look at her, "Maybe you just need to accept that I'll never be okay? Al'right? I've accepted that, maybe you should too."

He saw the shock in her eyes, but then he spoke, "I'm not saying it's going to make it all better, or that it will ever be okay. I'm just saying, it will make things easier."

"Well, I've been fine the last few days, not thinking about it, and I don't want to think about it now."

"But now is a good time to deal with it."

"Well, geez. That's nice, I'm so glad I could fit it into your schedule."

"You KNOW that's not what I meant." She said, a slight tinge of anger in her voice. "I meant that since everything is okay, and that you aren't having memories or flashbacks right now, it might be a good time to calmly look at things."

"Oh, that's right, and where did you get your medical degree?"  
___________________________________

Max sighed, she could tell he was going to be difficult, and she sat up in the bed. "Fine, be like that. I'm just trying to help, because I just happen to care about you. That I want to do what's best for you. But no, you are unwilling to even try."

He sat up next to her, "Don't start."

"UGH, you can be one of the most.... frustrating... pain in the..." She threw up her hands, which he grabbed and pulled her against him quickly, his mouth hitting her lips hard, her mind clouding, as the kiss continued. Her hands rested against his chest, her wrists still being held by his, as his mouth attacked hers, her own responding to it. 

He broke away from her, his breath on her face, "And you love it." He told her, her eyes catching that cocky smile, and she felt herself being drawn into it. Into the sparkle behind those hazel eyes staring at her intently.

But then she pulled away, seeing what else was written in his eyes, and she shook her head slightly to clear it, "Oh, no you don't."

"Don't what?" He asked.

"You tried to just change the subject. You kissed me so I would stop asking questions." She saw him sigh, and it immediately confirmed her suspicions, then she cursed at herself for almost falling for it. 

"I'm not ready to deal with it, okay?"

"You are never truly going to be ready." She told him, tilting his face up to look at her.   
___________________________________

Alec knew she was right, he was never going to be ready to talk about it. He laid back down on the bed in defeat, *Why did I even make that deal with her? It obviously was never going to be followed.* He sighed again. "Fine, but don't expect anything... in depth."

He watched her nod, and move closer to him, leaning over and resting her chest over his, her arms supporting her, to look down at him. "Okay," she said softly, and he almost rolled his eyes, as he heard her voice change into counselor Max.

"So... what do you want to talk about?" He asked her, taking a deep breath.

"No, what do you want to talk about?" She said.

"Well the weather is so beautiful outside..." 

She cut him off, "Alec, you know..."

"That's just it, I don't want to talk about it. None of it."

"Okay, then tell me about psy-ops, we'll leave White till later." He tensed at the name, and for a brief instant he was grateful that she did it like that. Because, even though he didn't want to talk about either, he really wasn't ready to handle what White had done, and truth be told, he still didn't remember most of it. He was sure he didn't wanted to either.

He took another deep breath, "Psy-ops, what is there to say. It's a lot like re-indoctrination, but also very different."

"Were the two times the same?"

His mind played the memories in his head, and he winced slightly. He then felt her hand move into his hand, her fingers intertwining with his. "Some things were the same, but they were testing very different things." More memories flooded his brain, as he spoke. "After the escape, they were worried we would do the same thing. So we got lost of different tests, and some re-indoctrination, just to make sure were would stay good little soldiers. I guess they figured you can't drill that into anyone's head enough."

His mind remembered the images they showed to his young eyes, that damn red laser they always used to get their point across. "Tons of medical tests, tubes, needles, poking, prodding. Trying to figure out if anything was physically wrong with their lab rat." His mind remembering being strapped to a table, pain going though his small body, seeing the blood on the doctors hands. 

"Then the other tests, the psychological tests. At that time Manticore didn't have transgenics to help with that, not like later." His mind shuddered at what some of them could do, what he remembered they did. "Tons of questions that I can't remember, but I remember the pain for the wrong answer. I remember the discipline, the running, the water, the weights, the hunger, the pain, they made us endure, breaking us down, reminding us we were nothing. That we weren't individuals, that we weren't people, that we were disposable. That we did what we were told."

His mind kept playing the yelling of the officers in his head, the words echoing through this brain. He felt Max lay her head on his chest, holding him close, and he tried to take comfort from it, but the memories kept playing, the words kept echoing. Voices echoing, drilling into his head, just like later, but later the voices weren't vocal. The voices became mental. "And with the right genetically engineered transgenics, they could get into your mind, so much easier."

"When it came to 493, they weren't worried about me trying to escape, they wanted to know if I'd end up crazy too, so things were different." He didn't, couldn't use his twin's name, for both his own and her sake, it was easier to use the number, easier to deal with. 

"They started with questions, questions I didn't understand. Asking me what I would do in certain situations, none of which made sense. Not until you told me what he had done. They were trying to use me to find out where he was. But, I didn't know how to answer the questions, I had no clue what they were talking about. But that didn't matter to them." He winced slightly remembering the pain that coursed through his body at his inability to answer.

Her hand gripped his tighter, and held onto it. "Once it became apparent that I couldn't help them, they then tried to find out if I would go nuts. And they tried their hardest to do so." He thought, memory after memory flashing before his eyes. The ghastly images they played before him, the virtual situations they had played out before him, the pain they inflicted on him. He shook his head trying to clear it, but it didn't do any good. 

"The voices they would put into your mind, trying to push you over the edge, trying to make you think they were real." He could hear them, the other transgenics, he could almost feel them in his mind again. "They tried to push you, tried to pull your brain apart, analysis it, study it. You could feel them, feel them inside your head, trying to make you talk, make you say things. Make you go crazy. They wanted me to, wanted me to go nuts, to prove that it was genetic, that I was insane."

He almost felt like his skin was crawling again, the voices seeming to return, creeping around his head, tearing into him once more, and his body shook lightly. Her arms hugging him lightly, bringing him back slightly to reality, and he opened his eyes to look at her.   
___________________________________

She watched his eyes open, and saw the pain, hurt, and confusion in them, and her heart ached. She couldn't understand how someone could go through so much, and yet still be in some semblance of control. And then part of her realized, that what he had went through at Manticore, might have made it possible for him to survive what White had actually done to him. Her mind shuddered at the thought.

"What if they missed something?"

His words were so soft, she almost didn't hear him, and her mind did a double take, "What?"

He looked up at her, fear clouding his eyes slightly, "What if they missed something, what if it really was genetic?"

*Oh God, he's worried he'll end up like Ben,* she thought, and she looked at him, "No, you are nothing like him." She told him, truthfully. 

"But you said, you said it was the outside would that got to him, that made him crazy. He was out for ten years. I've only been out around a year... what if..."

She could now hear the fear in his voice as well as on his face, and her hand reached up to lightly caress his cheek, "It was Ben's experiences that made him crazy, it wasn't his DNA. And while you haven't exactly had the best experiences out here in the real world, you aren't crazy, and you aren't going to be. And this right here..." She said, indicating them talking, "Is another reason why you won't be."

Max leaned down and kissed him lightly, "And whatever we might say about Manticore, they knew what they were doing. They wouldn't have kept you around if you were going to go psycho on them." She watched his eyes close, and she leaned back down, her arms hugging him again. She felt his arms go around her, holding her tightly, and she knew the conversation was over, that nothing else was going to be said. And that was okay, because they had at least got it out there. He got to express some of those thoughts, those questions he had. And now, she at least knew he was having them, and then they could be dealt with.


	34. Chapter 34

Alec's hands slowly moved over the kitchen table, as his feet moved across the floor. He had made his away around to the the other side of the table, his arms helping to support his wobbling legs. Each day he was able to do a little bit more, move a little bit further. And he was still trying to actually pick up his foot from the floor for more than a brief second.

The muscles just felt so weak, and he knew it was from the lack of use. But he also knew that thanks to his DNA, it wouldn't take long for the strength to come back, once the muscles were being used once again. He tried again, his left foot sliding over the floor, his toes moving up, his knee starting to bend, and for a brief instant he felt the air underneath his foot, before it fell back to the floor.

He sighed, and then tried the other foot, as he was trying to make his way around the table. Slowly his knee started to bend and he felt his foot come off the floor, and he pressed forward, feeling his knee bend again, his foot moving, his heel touching the floor a few inches from where it had been. The smile on his face grew, and he tried his left side again.

But again almost lost his balance, lost his focus, and grabbed to the table for dear life, "Alec!"

Alec's head turned around quickly, "Joshua." He said, is heart rate beating quickly, he had been so focused he hadn't heard him come into the room.

Joshua quickly came up to him, wrapped his arms around him in a big hug, "Alec walking!" He yelled happily, "Max will be so happy!"

Alec tried to pull away, and then started to fall backwards, Joshua caught him by his arms, and Alec steadied himself on the table. Moving one arm to wave at Joshua, "No, no! You can't tell her." He said looking up at him.

"Why not? This is great news." He said looking at Alec confused.

He sighed, "Joshua, promise me, promise me you won't tell her." He said, slowly moving back to the other side of the table.

Joshua tilted his head, looking at him, "But why?"

He found his way around the table, and sat back in the wheel chair. "Well, I'm not truly walking yet."

"But soon... soon you will."

He smiled, "Yeah, soon. But not yet." He sighed, he didn't want to explain everything to Joshua. He didn't want to explain that it was something he wanted to do on his own. That he didn't want to involve Max in it, and ... well, he had other reasons. "Josh... I just.. want it to be a surprise." He thought, hoping that, that would explain things.

He watched Joshua contemplate his response for a minute, and then saw the smile go over the big guys face. "Surprise Max, when all better. Big surprise, make Little Fella, really happy."

Alec nodded with relief, "That's right. So can you keep it a secret?"

He saw the conflict in his eyes, "Secrets aren't good Alec."

Alec sighed, "Yeah, but this isn't a bad secret Josh, it's like.... a surprise birthday party. You know... you just don't tell the person about it, till the party. Then everyone's all happy."

The smile on Josh's face, made him relieved. "Got it, won't say a word." He said, motioning his fingers over his lips like a zipper.

Alec laughed, "Thanks man." Then he had a few more thoughts, "Actually, I'm also going to need your help, and well some other people's as well."

"Sure, what do you need?"

He smiled, and wheeled himself into the living room, motioning for him to follow. He took out his cell phone, and dialed. When the person responded, "Hey, it's me. I need your help."

{{Sure Boo, if you want to talk to Max..}}

"No, no. If she's there, don't tell her it's me."

{{What's going on?}}

He almost laughed at the concern in her voice. He really did have a lot more friends then he had realized before. "No, nothing's going on, nothings wrong. I just need you and Sketchy to come over here, maybe for lunch, without Max knowing."

Alec could almost hear a smile on the other end, {{What are you planning?}}

"Well, you won't know if you don't get your asses over here and help me."

He heard the laugh, {{Okay, you've peaked Original Cindy's interest, we'll be there.}}

When he got off the phone, he looked up at Joshua with a smile.  
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"Okay Boo, this had better be good, because it was not easy gett'in away from Max." Cindy said rounding the corner and walking into the living room. Stopping abruptly, with Sketchy running into the back of her.

"Hey, don't just stop..." Sketchy said and then looked at what she was.

"Hey guys," Alec said, his hands tightly holding onto Joshua's arms. Joshua's hands grabbing his, walking backwards slowly, as Alec's feet were slowly moving with him.

"Max didn't tell us about this." Cindy said motioning to him as they moved into the room.

"Little Fella doesn't know. Surprise." Joshua told them, and Alec just grinned at the two.

Cindy nodded, "So, does this have something to do with why we are here?"

Alec nodded, then motioned at Joshua then towards the chair, and they slowly moved back over to it. He sat down with a sigh, and wheeled over to the others, as they sat down. "Yeah, I need some help getting some things, and well... distracting Max. Now, I can't really leave. And.." He looked over at Josh. "So... that's were you guys come in."

OC shook her head, "What exactly do you have planned in that pretty little head of yours?"

She received his customary little smirk, with the sparkle behind his eyes, "Here's the plan."  
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Max thought she was going crazy, at least that was the way she felt, or everyone around her was totally acting strange. It was one or the other, and she wasn't sure which one it was. At first she thought it was just her, but the feeling had continued for most of the week. Cindy and Sketchy had been totally non-committal with any plans that she had thrown out.

Either Crash or a night in at the house. She had asked them about their plans for the weekend, and both seemed to remember at just that instant of something they had to do. She sighed, *Maybe I've been spending to much time at home with Alec and Joshua, and their upset with me.*

She opened her locker, and sighed again. But that didn't explain Joshua's, or Alec's slightly strange behavior either. In the last week she had walked in on them talking about something only to stop and change topics instantly when they saw her. It was rather unnerving.

But everything else was normal. Work, dinner, talking, and the nights. She smiled, generally the nights were, *Very nice.* She thought, and almost laughed, *Nice wasn't the word for it.* She had never been happier in her life. Then she sighed again. Her life felt perfect, yet there was still so much of it that wasn't, so much of it that was wrong.

She knew that Alec still had a ton of stuff to work out, and that it was never going to go away. There were still all the physical and emotional implications of what White did to him that they needed to work on. And while the physical problems were almost gone, the emotional ones were still huge.

Not only that, but there was the fact that White was still after them. Her, him, all the other transgenics, and now he had the whole human population against them too. Alec had been right, he could help with what they were doing in Terminal City. While he couldn't actually be there, his knowledge and experience was extremely needed. They had gone over many plans at the house, or even over the cell phone when she was in TC. His prior contacts had also come in handy, allowing him to organize a few needed supply shipments to them.

Max shut her locker, and shook her head, it never ceased to amaze her again and again about how little she really knew about him. Now that she was actually allowing herself to see the real him. She looked around, and just like the rest of the week, Cindy and Sketchy weren't around. *Well, I guess they wanted to start their weekends early.* She thought, with another sigh, and started for the door.

But she was almost run over by Cindy as she walked out the door. "Max, there you are!"

Max took a step back at OC's excitement, "Yeah, here I am. What's up?" She said looking at her, and the bag that she was holding.

"Okay, I got us two tickets for this huge ass party. Now, it was NOT easy, so you can't back out on me."

She sighed, *A party?* Her mind drifted to Alec, and she wished that he could go with her. "Cindy... I don't know." She saw the look in OC's eyes that she wasn't going to take no for an answer. "I don't feel right..."

"If you are worrying about 'your boy' I already called him and told him my plans." She said with a smile. "Told him myself that you were coming, and not to wait up for you."

Max laughed, and she knew that if she went home now, Alec would tell her she should go out. She knew he hated not being able to go with her, but he hated it even more when she didn't go because of him. "Okay, okay. Geez, you guys win. But I have to go home to get ready."

Cindy's smile got bigger, "Great, I'll go with you." She said holding up her bag, "No chance in hell, I'm going to let you back out of this." Max just laughed, and they got on their bikes.

A little later, they were heading into the house. "I'm telling you BOO, we don't have time to waste." Cindy said rather loudly, as she pulled Max by her wrists towards her bedroom, almost pushing her in the door. "Now, let's figure our what you are going to WEAR."

Max just shook her head and laughed, *Cindy must be really excited about this party.* She thought as she went through her closet, holding out dresses, with Cindy rejecting them one by one.  
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Alec slightly laughed, as he looked over Joshua's shoulder. "Well, I guess that's Cindy letting us know that Max is in the house." Joshua smiled, and continued stirring. Alec patted him on the shoulder, "Thanks for this man."

"No problem," he said and looked around, then at Alec. "I've got everything going in here. You go, get ready."

Alec patted him on the back again, and then walked over to the wheel chair a few feet away. He looked at his watch, as he wheeled himself into the living room, "Where is..." and as if on cue, Sketchy was running into the room, and then doubled over out of breath.

He held out the garment bag, and Alec took it, "Sorry... hope I'm not... late."

"No worries, just in time." he said, he looked down at the bag, read the tag on the outside and smiled. "Thanks Sketch, this means a lot."

The guy stood up in front of him, his breathing slowly coming back to normal, "Hey, anything for a friend."

"Yeah, well I owe you. For this.." he said indicating the bag, "The other stuff, and..." He sighed lightly, his emotions slightly getting the better of him, and he sat up straighter, trying to get his male pride to take over again, "Well, for everything."

Sketchy hit him on the shoulder, "No problem man, now let me get out'ta the way." He said with a wink, backing out of the door, "Have fun!" he said with another wink and left, making Alec grin.

He wheeled his way down the hallway to his room, and he heard Cindy and Max talking inside. He listened for a minute trying not to laugh.

"Nope, not that one." A pause, "Nope. No way. Come on Max, what else do you have in there?" The sound of hangers being pushed around.

*She's good,* Alec thought.

"What about this?" He heard Max say.

"And I thought you WEREN'T going to try and pick up guys."

"It's the ONLY thing LEFT! You said no to everything else."

"Okay, then you can wear..." He heard more movement, "This."

"That's what you brought to wear. If I wear that, then what are you going to wear?"

*Uh, oh. That wasn't a question I had anticipated.* He thought, praying that Cindy would think of something.

"That last little number of yours, I am looking to pick up some lovely ladies."

Then he heard the laughter of the two in the room, and he sighed in relief, then quickly moved into his bedroom, shutting the door softly behind him, then locking it just in case.  
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"Oh Boo, that looks perfect on you!" Cindy told her and she smiled into the mirror.

She had to admit, she really did like the dress, the creme color actually complemented her skin tone. It was strange seeing herself in something other than dark colors, but she had to admit, she liked it. It also fit her perfectly, almost like a second skin, which in her mind didn't really make sense. Her and Cindy weren't that far off in size, but enough that it shouldn't have fit like that.

Max shook her head, clearing it, she didn't care, she was actually getting excited. She hadn't gotten dressed up in a long time, and it felt great. She put the last touch of lip gloss on, as Cindy curled the last piece of her hair. "Perfect." Cindy said behind her.

"Well, I think we're ready." Max said smiling at Cindy. "Let's get to that party of yours."

"Wait, I have one thing I need to do. Wait right here, I think Joshua has what I need." Cindy gave her a look, "Okay?"

She looked at OC strangely, "Ohh kay. I'll wait." And with that Cindy rushed out of the room, shutting the door behind her.

*That girl is getting stranger and stranger.*  
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Cindy walked into the living room, and her face lit up. "Oh wow. You two out did yourselves." She said looking at Alec and Joshua. They smiled back at her. "Okay, she's all ready, and has NO clue."

Joshua went over and grabbed a book from the shelf. "I'll be up in my room." He told the two, and left.

"Thanks again, Josh." Alec told him, as he left, with him waving a hand behind him.

Cindy went over to the CD player and turned it on, a soft set of music started to play, "Nice, very nice." She said walking back over to him. "Well, I must say, you even have Original Cindy surprised."

"I try, do you think she'll like it?" He asked motioning with his hands.

"She's going to love it." She told him, and took a deep breath. "You ready for her?"

He smiled, "I'm always ready." He said with that cocky grin.

OC just shook her head at him, and then moved towards the door. "Well, you two have fun." Then she looked back towards the hallway. "MAX? I can't find it, can you come help me LOOK?" She yelled, waved at Alec, and then ran out the door.  
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Max heard OC's yell, and sighed. She opened the door, and went towards the living room, "And what is it that you are looking for..." Her voice stopped and her mouth dropped open as she walked into the room. The room was dark except for all the candles setting around. Soft music played in the back ground, and her eyes settled on the table that had been pulled into the room. Now laid out with a nice table cloth, plates, wine glasses, candles and flowers. Her eyes moved up from it, to the man that was setting in the chair on the other side.

His eyes staring back at her, dancing over her. The candle light dancing over his face, his eyes, and him dressed in a black tux no less. Then she looked down at herself, remembering what she was wearing, remembering how strangely everyone had been acting, and then it all came together. "You... you planned all.. this... Cindy... Sketchy... everyone." She was in a slight state of shock as she slowly walked over to him.

"Yes," was his simple reply. "I hope you don't mind."

She shook her head, "Not at all." she said, trying not to let the moisture go to her eyes.

"You look... breath taking."

She sat down in the chair across from him, and a large smile spread across her face. "Thank you." She said, looked at him, "And you... wow, you clean up very nicely." She received his customary cocky smile. Max looked around the table, and motioned to it and the room, "What is all this for?"  
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He smiled at her, he couldn't take his eyes off her. She looked absolutely beautiful. He had been right, the color of the dress was perfect, it almost reminded him of the way she looked in the morning with the sun coming in the window, her laying there with just the white sheet over her warm, naked body.

He heard her question, and thought about it for a minute. "Lots of reasons." He told her, and reached over the table, and took her one hand, his thumb moving lightly over the top of it. "One, I thought we could use a night for just the two of us." She smiled at him. "Two, we never actually did have a ... date."

"True," she said with a small laugh, "But I don't need to date."

He grinned at her and nodded, "Three, I guess to prove it to you, that I do have a ... romantic side." he said with a small roll of his eyes, and he caught the small laugh from her.

"I already knew you did, even though you don't like to admit it."

He shook his head, "It's not that I don't like to admit it, you just wouldn't have ever believed me before."

She nodded her head in agreement. "True, which I've admitted I was wrong about." He could tell she hated saying that, and it made him smile. "Is there a four?"

"Well, four, is just lots of other reasons."

"Like?"

She was persistent, that was for sure, "You'll find out later." He said, and he saw her eyes widened slightly, and he could almost see her brain try to figure things out.

"I don't know if I can take any more surprises tonight, this.." She said indicating the table once again, "Is already so much."

"Well, hopefully it wasn't that huge of a shock." He said, but knew that it was, just by the look on her face. He picked up the bottle next to him, "Wine?" he asked her. "Sorry, it's not pre pulse." He said with a grin.

She rolled her eyes at him, and laughed, holding out her glass, "Honestly, I see no difference, I never saw what the big deal was."

He laughed as well, poured her glass, and then his. He held up his glass, caught her smile, and her do the same. He knew it was corny, but he didn't care, "To more nights like this, together." And the smile on her face told him, she didn't care either, as they clinked glasses, then brought them to to their lips for a drink.

They enjoyed their dinner. Steak, twice baked potato, broccoli with a cheese sauce, salad, and fresh bread. *With no pasta in sight,* Alec thought with a small laugh in his head. But he almost wanted to cringe at the thought, just a couple of months ago he was sitting at Crash with Asha commenting about Max and Logan doing something like this.

But his mind shifted, *There are many big differences.* One, he didn't have to do any of this to get Max, because he already had her. Two, this was something he actually wanted to do for her. And three, they had already, numerous times, consummated their months of unbridled passion. The thought almost made him laugh again, and brought a twinkle to his eye.

"What?" Max asked from across the table, and he looked over at her.

He took another sip of wine, sat his glass down, and took a breath, "Well, I guess this is as good of time as any for your present." He said, and watched her eyes get bigger.

"Present?" She asked.

Alec smiled at her, and pulled out a box from his coat, he watched her eyes look at it, as he held onto it. The black velvet casing soft against his fingers. He watched her eyes dart from his to the box, and back again, and he reached over the table, allowing her to take it.

Her hands slowly opened the lid, and he held his breath, watching the look on her face. The huge smile that played across her lips, allowed him to breath again, knowing that what was inside made her happy.


	35. Chapter 35

Max wasn't sure what to say as she held the small box in her hands, looking at the contents. She couldn't help the smile on her face, and said the first thing that came to mind, "It's... beautiful." Her fingers moved to the gold chain, pulling it out of the box, holding it up, so she could look closer at what was dangling from the necklace.

Gold like strands, almost like fingers, held onto a heart shaped ruby. She sat the box on the table, and stood up quickly, moving over to him, and sat down on his lap. She caught his smile, as she wrapped her arms around him in a big hug. She felt his arms move around her, and settled at her lower back, holding her on his lap."Thank you."

His one hand came up to to the necklace she was holding, and she let him take it. She moved the hair from her neck, and let him bring it up and clasp it around her neck. She closed her eyes, as she felt his lips place a small kiss at the back of her neck, and another on her shoulder. She turned to meet his mouth, her lips finding his.

She broke away, to move her hand back to the necklace, looking down at it, "I'll never take it off."

His fingers came up to hers, looking at it with her. "Max..." His voice, his breath at her ear, made her shudder slightly, and his arm pulled her closer to him. His voice soft, and gentle, "You hold my heart." He said, and kissed the side of her face. "I love you.. so much."

Max turned towards him, her hand coming to the side of his face, "Oh, Alec... I love you." She said, trying to not let her emotions get the better of her, as she tried to blink back the tears that threatened to fall. She leaned in again, kissing him softly, feeling his hands move up her back, pulling her closer.

She broke away slowly, looked at the room, and then back at him, "Thank you, for everything." She said, kissing him lightly again.

He smiled up at her, "You don't need to thank me, I wanted to do this. But the night's not over yet."

She laughed, and moved her hips slightly against him, and smiled at him, "Oh, really, did you have something in mind?" She asked him, and heard the slight groan from his mouth.

"Max..." His voice traveled off, as she did it again, and his hand moved down to her hip, stopping her from doing it again. His eyes opened to look up at her. "Yes, I did have something in mind, and it wasn't that. At least, not right now."

She grinned, at his last statement, but replied to the first one. "What did you have in mind?"

His hand took hers, "I was actually wondering if you would like to dance."

Her head spun at his words, and she wasn't sure if she heard him correctly, "What?"  
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Alec smiled at her confusion, he knew she was trying to figure out how the heck he could accomplish that. "I asked, if you wanted to dance." He said again.

"Uhh, okay." She said, and stood up, her head looking around the room, "Umm.. where's the wheel chair?" She asked.

He smiled up at her, "And why do we need that to dance?" He asked her.

"Alec... I can't hold you up with this dress."

He almost laughed again at the look in her eyes. He took her hand again, "I wasn't asking you too." He told her, as he slowly stood up, his eyes never leaving hers as he did so. The shock, absolute shock that washed over her face, made his grin even bigger.

"Oh my God." She said, her voice slightly shaking, her hand coming to her mouth, as he took a step towards her.

As the next song came on, her pulled her hand to his chest, and asked, "May I have this dance."

He watched her lip tremble slightly, as she wasn't able to speak. And with a gentle pull, he pulled her slowly into the empty part of the room, and to him, holding her close. Her eyes were big, looking up at him, and he smiled down at her. "Just don't expect any big dance moves."

"Alec..." She finally managed to get out, but was cut off when he leaned back down and kissed her.  
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Max was absolutely speechless, shocked was more like it. She broke away from his lips to look back up at him, "You... you can .. walk." She said, and watched his smile, and small nod. "How... long?" She asked, a small amount of anger actually rising in her.

"Not long," He told her, "I've had some progress over the last few weeks, but nothing big... not until early this week." He said, and she could see he was trying fast to explain, knowing that she was getting upset with him for keeping it from her. She heard him sigh, "Max... I wanted to do it on my own, I wanted... to surprise you."

The look on his face, the way her was holding her, the thought he had put into the night.... it made the anger fade away, and her hand came to the side of his face. "Well, it certainly worked." His lips found hers again, and she felt them start to slowly sway to the music.

She then leaned her head down, against his chest, wrapping her arms around him. His head rested against the top of her head, as their feet slowly slid across the floor. She closed her eyes, and just let herself enjoy the feel of him, his hands moving softly over her back, the soft music playing, their bodies moving to the rhythm.

Her mind beginning to comprehend what this meant. He was back, he was really back. Yeah, they had a lot to still talk about, but he was.. well... able to go out. Soon, he would be his old self again, physically at least. Back to work, back to Crash, able to help at TC, all kinds of things. But she let those thoughts drift away, because right now she was happy, happy to be alone with him, dancing in his arms.

She looked up at him, wrapped her arms around his neck, and pulled his face back down to hers, her hands moving into his hair, their lips meeting in a deep kiss.  
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His hands grabbed her tighter to him, as his tongue moved into her mouth, tasting her, her body moving against him. Their bodies still moving to the music, even though they didn't seem to hear it. Then her mouth broke away from his, and he opened his eyes looking down at her smiling face, "I think it's time for bed," she said, her voice breathless and seductive.

Alec grinned back down at her, "Oh, really?" She nodded at him, and he pulled her tightly to his body, watching her close her eyes and groan slightly, making her feel him hard against her. "I think you're right."

She pulled out of his arms, "Wait, right here." She told him, and he looked at her confused. Then he watched her quickly move around the room, blowing out the candles. Then she picked up the two from the table, and walked back to him, giving him one, then taking his other hand, she started walking backwards towards the bedroom.  
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Max watched him walk with her, and she still couldn't believe her eyes. While he was slower than the used to be, his stride not so steady, she could tell it was coming back. But even those thoughts were not foremost in her brain, as it was being clouded with desire. Which when she thought about it, was nothing new when it came to the man that was moving with her back to his bedroom, really their bedroom.

They walked inside, shut the door, and put the candles on the night stands, then she walked back over to him beside the bed both kicking off their shoes. Her arms moved back up around his neck. "I want you," she said looking up at him, then pulling his head back down to her lips, claiming his mouth once more. 

She realized she could never get enough of his lips, his mouth, it drew her in, and soon her hands were moving down over his arms, once again his muscles firm, tone. Her hands slipping inside the coat, and moving it off, to fall to the floor. Her hands then moving over his chest and abs, her fingers again feeling the strong muscle underneath as they traveled down his front, to pull his shirt from his pants.

Her mouth still never leaving his, there tongues dueling, his hands moving over her back, sides, ass. Pulling her hips against his, making them both groan, and her hands hastily moving to the buttons of his shirt. Her fingers fumbling slightly in her hurry, once undone, she slid the shirt from his shoulders, and then pulled away from his kiss in a slight huff. 

Her hands coming to his undershirt, "Wearing enough?" She asked, as her hands pulled it up, and he lifted his arms to assist her, and laughed slightly.

"You want me naked that bad?" he asked her with that cocky smile, and she didn't know whether to slap him or kiss him.

Instead she replied, "Yes!" and then ran her hands up his bare chest, her nails lightly grazing his skin, and her mouth moving back up to his, but his hands caught her wrists stopping her.

"Max... let me... let me do this, let me make love to you." She looked up into his eyes, saw the desire, want, need, and.... love there, her body shivered slightly. His hand coming to the side of her face, cupping it gently, "Let me love you." He said, moving his face slowly down to hers, and she gave in, as his lips softly moved against hers. 

His hand slowly moving to the back of her neck, into her hair as he deepened the kiss, then the traveled down her back, his fingers moving to the zipper of her dress, and pulling it down slowly. Her lips tried to follow his as they moved away, and her eyes opened to look up at him, as his hands moved up the the straps of her dress, his fingers pushing them to the sides, letting them fall down her shoulders, the dress floating to the floor, leaving her there in a pair of white silk panties.

Her hands moved out to him, removing his belt, and unzipping his pants, his hands catching her before they could move underneath, and he pulled his pants down, taking his socks with them. She pouted at him, and received a brief kiss, as he remained in his boxers. His body moving back to her, slowly pushing her back, until her legs reached the side of the bed. His arms going around her, lowering her onto her back, him over her, her legs opening, allowing him to settle between them.

Only once since they had been together had he been on top of her like this, his body pressing her into the mattress, surrounding her, and she knew this was going to be very different. His mouth met hers again in a brief but passionate kiss, and then traveled down her check to her neck, and she sighed moving her head back against the bed allowing him more access. Her hands moving over his broad shoulders, down the skin of his back.

Her legs wrapping around his hips, pulling him down against her, making them both groan. Feeling him hard, pressed between their bodies, her hips moving against his of their own accord. His mouth moving over her collar bone, down her breast bone, his hands moving to her legs to pry them open, allowing him to move over her. Her hands moving up into his hair, pressing him close, as his mouth found her taut nipple, his tongue flicking it lightly, before his mouth began to suck at it, causing her to moan out his name, her fingers intertwining with his hair.  
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Alec's mind was in overdrive, the taste of her skin, the smell of her, of her arousal, driving him insane. His hands moved up her sides, his mouth moving to the other breast, trying to give it the same attention, as his hand moved to the one he just left. He could hear her sounds, feel her hands moving in his hair, gripping him to her. 

Then his head moved lower, his lips leaving small kisses over her chest, her stomach, stopping as they reached the silk. His fingers moved into the waist band, and he watched her lift her hips from the bed, and he pulled the fabric down her legs, throwing it over his shoulder. Her hands reaching out for him, and he shook his head slightly, and bent back down, moving lower on the bed, his hands slowly moving up her inner calves to her thighs, his lips moving to her left ankle, kissing the skin to her knee, then moving over to the right doing the same thing.

He knew he was teasing her, catching her hands gripping at the sheets from the corner of his eye, watching her hips move slightly, hearing her intake of breath, and sighs when his lips or tongue darted out against her skin. His mouth moving up her inner thigh, his hands opening them wider, his head spinning as the smell of her intoxicated him as he moved towards his goal.

She hadn't afforded him the opportunity before, but he had been craving more than just the taste of her mouth for far too long. His lips kissed the juncture between her right leg and hip, and his nose nuzzled against the soft curls, her smell traveling to his brain, his warm breath traveling over her. Feeling her shudder beneath him, his hands moving to her, his thumbs prying her open, her hips moving up towards him, her voice whispering his name, her hands moving to his head.

His tongue darted out at her clit, then swirled around it, and his was head was swimming in her, his mouth let out a small moan, her body shuddering, her hips jerking up at him. His hands moved to her hips, pressing her to his eager mouth. His lips and tongue moving against her, over her, licking, sucking, pushing her to the brink, then backing back down, slow and gentle. 

Her sounds getting louder, her hips moving against his face even though his hands tried to keep her still. His name and one of a higher being coming from her lips, again and again. Her fingers gripping his hair, almost painfully so, but it pushed him on, pushing her back to the edge, her body tensing under him, his tongue moving inside of her, his groan vibrating through her. Then he could feel her muscles move around his darting tongue, hear her gasp, her hands gripping his head.

As her body calmed below him, his lips lightly kissed their way back up her shaking body, her eyes fluttering open once his face was back over hers, her hands moving back to his neck, pulling him down to her mouth. His ears hearing her groan as their tongues met, knowing she could taste herself on his lips. Her hands traveled down his back, and to his boxers. He moved away from her mouth, with a sound of protest from her. His lips smiled down at her, as he moved back, taking them off, and throwing them to the floor.

Moving back over her, her legs wrapped around him, and pulled him down her to her, making him moan as she moved against him. He could feel her start to move her hips and arms to flip them over, and he caught her, stopping her, pinning her back to the bed. "Oh, no. Not tonight." He told her, his mouth moving back to her neck, his warm breath washing over her skin. 

Alec's arms moved around her, his hands at her shoulders, holding him to her, his face moving back up to look down at her, his hips pulling away from her, moving down slightly, the head of his erection brushing against her hot, wet, center, his eyes closing at the feeling. "Alec...." Her voice let out, quiet, breathy. His hips pressed forward, sinking slowing into her, inch by inch. Her body closing around him, pulling him in to her hot confines.

He thrust his hips into her onto the last few, making them both gasp, grasping at each other, their mouths again coming together in a heated kiss, as his hips started to move. Slow but steady strokes, moving almost fully out of her, then slowly back in. He could feel her moan against his lips, felt her hips buck up at him, and he increased the pace slightly. 

Her hands moved up over his shoulders, her fingers gripping tightly to him, his mouth moved down to her neck, his tongue licking, teeth gently nipping at the skin. His hips moving faster, a little harder into her, her hips moving up at him, encouraging him to go faster, harder, but he wanted to draw this out. Draw out the feeling of her around him, him moving into her, again and again. 

Feeling her beneath him, around him, bringing so much pleasure. Her sounds, her smell, her taste, making him go on, making him crazy. His mouth kissing around her neck, to the other side, his teeth nipping at her ear lobe, then back to her neck. His hips continuing to move, his pace increasing slightly, moving faster, in and out of her body, grinding his hips against her slightly once he pushed all the way in, hearing her gasp in his ear, her body shake.

He felt her nails at his shoulders, felt her legs starting to shake around him, and his pace increased, responding to her. His hips trusting harder into her, over and over, her voice in his ear. "Yes... yes.. yes.. Alec.. oh.. yes.." Again and again at every thrust, every pounding into her body, her words music to his ears. 

Her sharp intake of breath, her nails traveling down his back, her legs gripping him tightly, her small scream, and then her inner muscles clamping down around him, and he was falling from heaven in blinding white, hot light. His hips thrusting hard into her grasping muscles, jerking inside of her, and exploding. His mind shattering, his heaving body collapsing against hers, their hot breaths on each others cheeks, their pounding hearts pounding against each others chests. 

Max's shaking hand coming to his forehead to move the sweat soaked hair from his forehead, his head slowly moving back up to look at her, their lips coming together in a soft kiss. His body somehow finding the energy to roll onto his side, taking her with him. Her head rested against his shoulder, and he watched her eyes slowly close, his lips kissing her forehead softly. His cheek rested against the top of her head, his eyes closing, his arms pulling her tightly to him, he drifted off.


	36. Chapter 36

Max slowly woke up, but kept her eyes closed as she moved closer to the warm body next to her. Well, partially under her. Her head and part of her chest was over his chest, her leg flung over his lower half, and her arm wrapped around him. She smiled slightly, and moved her face into his chest, trying to hide from the morning, but her senses just took in the smell of him. 

She felt his arm pull her closer to him, and her smile got bigger. She opened her eyes, and tilted her head to look up at him, finding him still asleep. Her hand came up, and gently brushed the hair from his forehead, and then she let her fingers trail down his face. She watched his face twitch slightly as her fingertips tickled the skin underneath. 

She slid her body up and over him, her hips grinding into his, and his eyes immediately popped open looking at her, "Morning." She said to him, leaning down and kissing him, moving her hips once again, causing him to groan into her mouth. His arms moved around her, and his hands down to her hips, trying to still her movements. 

His eyes twinkled at her, "You want more?" He asked teasing her, she tried to move her hips again in response, she saw his eyes slightly close, and his hands gripped her hips harder. "So how many times have you woken me up for more since last night?" She blushed slightly, and his one hand left her hip and moved to the side of her face, "Are you sure you aren't going into heat?"

She hit him in the chest, "I still have awhile, very funny!" She said, not sure why he was even joking about such a thing.

"Max, I was serious." 

She looked at his face, and realized he was, "But you know it hasn't been long enough since the last time." She said her head tilting down slightly, remembering.

Her ears heard him sigh, and his fingers tilted her face up to look at him. "Honestly, I don't know exactly WHEN it happened. Dates and times weren't really on my mind." His fingers lightly trailed over her face, "And Max... if you couldn't tell... I have forgiven you." She gave a small smile to him, and he pulled her down for a kiss. She ground her hips at him again, and he moaned, "Max..."

She sighed and smiled at him, "Okay, fine, you don't want too. We can just talk. Besides, it's been a week since we have." She said knowing that he wouldn't want to. He would rather do anything than talk about what was going on his head, and she was right. In lightning fast speed she found herself flipped onto her back, and Alec on top of her.

Max almost laughed, as he spoke, "Oh, I think I like option one, much better."

"Oh, really?" She said. 

"Really." He said and kissed her, "I love making love to you." He said with a smile and a wink.

She laughed, "So that's what you call it?" He nodded, "And exactly how many women have you made love to?" She asked, and then she wasn't sure exactly why she did, especially after she saw the look that came over his face. 

Her hand moved to the side of his face, as he spoke, "Two." He said simply, his eyes looking down somewhere by her neck. Her fingers tilted his head to look up at her, and her eyes gave him a question, and he answered her. "You, and... Rachel." He said softly. 

Max nodded slowly, realizing he meant it, with all the others it was just sex to him, and that thought made her press on. She wasn't sure why, but something told her too, even though her body was still pressed to the bed from his weight, her legs wrapped around his waist, her stomach pressed intimately against his growing erection, from the unconscious movement of her hips. "Was she your.."

She didn't even have to say it, because he finished the sentence for her, "First? Yes." He said, looking down, and she could feel the deep breath he took, and then he spoke again, "You?" He asked after a moment looking back up at her.

Her hands absently moved over the skin of his back, and she cringed at the question. "Don't remember all that much about it..." Her mind remembering the way she felt, "It was the first time I went into Heat, I had no idea what was going on."

She felt the small kiss at her forehead, and her cheek, "I'm sorry , Max. I can't imagine what you must have been feeling when that happened." She smiled up at him, the sincerity in his voice surprising her slightly. "I guess in a way, I was lucky, unlike you and the others." He said, kissing her cheek again.

That statement caught her attention, "Others? What do you mean?" She felt him tense slightly, and he didn't answer. "Alec?" She asked questioning him again, and then watched as his cocky mask went up.

"Oh, nothing. Just, well, the breeding partners thing, and all." He said it, but she knew that wasn't the whole story. Then she felt his hips move slightly, and she groaned feeling him move the tip of him against her, "Now, I thought we both picked option one." He said winking at her.

Max sighed, knowing he was trying to change the topic, "Alec..." She asked questioning, but the only response she got was him moving his hips, and she gasped as felt him thrust inside of her, her head falling back into the pillow, her eyes closing tight at the feeling. Her hand hit the back of his shoulder, "Damn it, stop trying to distract me."

His mouth moved to her neck, lightly biting the skin, "Max..." he said, thrusting his hips again, "I'm trying to make love to you, as I said before."

She shook her head, even as the pleasure from his movements was moving through her, "No you aren't... uhh... I can tell... by the look on your face." She watched his eyes close and turn from her, his hips stopping for a moment. "What do you mean you were lucky, unlike the others?" She got out, and saw him sigh again, his jaw tense. 

"Because my four solo missions before, and that one didn't call for it."

Max's eyes widened, "You mean, they actually had missions involving sex?"

"Yes," was his only answer.

She thought about it for a minute, and realized, that in a way it did make sense, but not all of it. "But wouldn't putting virgins out on missions that required sex, be really... oh I don't know... stupid?" She expected a laugh from that statement, but she didn't get one.

"They didn't send virgins, Max." He said simply. She looked up at him slightly confused, "Ugh, Max..." He said, moving his hips once again, "Can we stop this conversation now? I mean..." He moved his hips once again, and she groaned, her fingers moving up to his shoulders, gripping tightly. But the look in his eyes told her, he was still trying to change the subject.

"Alec.." She started again, and was caught off by him moving inside of her again, his hands moving to hold her shoulders. She closed her eyes, and bit her bottom lip. "Tell me." She said to him, and she heard his groan of frustration, but she knew it wasn't from what their bodies were doing, it was from not wanting to talk about it. "Tell me," She said again, wrapping her legs tightly around his waist.

"Damn it, Max. Fine!" She saw the look in his eyes, and she shivered slightly. "There was training, special training for the missions." He told her, his hips moving again when he paused, his eyes staring down at hers. "You're right, it would be stupid to send out virgins, or soldiers that were inexperienced." Her eyes closed briefly as he thrust inside her again.

"So we had to have practice." His hips moving again at the end of his sentence, as if punctuating his point, again and again. "We got to practice on each other." Her head tilted back slightly, with a groan. "Different female..... every.... night..... they didn't.... want you..... to get... attached...." He said, his hips moving faster, harder. "Didn't want... us to get.... emotions.... for each other..... didn't want... us to feel.... feel anything... for each other...."

Alec's hips moved harder and faster into her, and her body held onto his, onto this punishing ride, her head swimming from his movements and from his words. His hips and mouth continued, "Wanted us .... to learn how.... not to feel... how to... just do...." A slight laugh came from his mouth, it sent a slight chill up her spine. 

"What's the .... best way... to get info.... on a big .... important guy... or company?.... Sleep with... the wife..... wear her out... get the info.... when she's .... passed out.... who's she going.... to tell?... Can slip away.... unnoticed."

Her mind was having a hard time understanding his words, but they were still processing. This words made so much sense, so much sense as to why he was the way he was, or at least used to be. Why he never stayed with one girl. It was how he was trained, what he knew. And the only other thing he knew was something wonderful, but it turned out so bad, so painful. Her hands pulled his shoulders closer to her, and then moved up to his neck, pulling him down for a deep kiss.

Pulling away, she looked back up at him, her hands going to the sides of his face, even has her hips moved back up against his, her body shaking from his movements. "Alec.... I love you." She said softly, watching him take in her words, his eyes blinking slightly, then opening again. She watched the hazel pools of emotion swirl in front of her, the mask falling, his feelings coming back to the surface. 

"Max," He said softly, and she tilted his face back down for another kiss, her hands moving back to his shoulders. His hips continued, moving a little faster, but it was different, she noticed. The movement wasn't as mechanical as before, and his hands were more gentle, his lips lightly kissing the skin at her neck, and she moaned.

This was him again, and as she felt him moving again, and again, over and over, her mind finally let her register what her body had been experiencing. She was standing at the ledge, and with another thrust of his hips, like a big gust of wind she lost her balance and fell, her mouth muffling the scream from her lungs by her teeth in his shoulder.

She heard him moan out her name at her bite, felt his hands grip her shoulders harder, his body slamming into hers, and she continued to ride that wave of pleasure as he exploded inside of her, her mind doing the same, as her fingernails gripped at his back, trying to hold onto him for dear life as her body shook.

Several minutes later, she opened her eyes at the feeling of light kisses to her breast bone, and looked down. Alec was still on top of her, his head resting on her chest, his arms wrapped around her, but his lips lightly moved against her skin. She smiled, and ran her fingers through his hair. His head tilted up to look at her, a small smile on his face, then he looked back down. His hand coming up to finger the gold chain around her neck, and look at the charm that hung from it, that rested right at the top of the crevice between her breasts.

He slowly rolled to the side, and she groaned, feeling him leave her, and he smiled at her, "Don't worry." He told her, "It's Saturday, we can stay in bed, all day long."

She curled up to his side, and smiled, "Thank God."  
___________________________________

The weekend went by quickly, and after some arguing, Alec finally won, and they agreed he would go back to work with her on Monday. And he couldn't wait, he couldn't wait to get out of the house, and see everyone. He was so excited, that he had actually woken up before Max did on monday morning, and was the one actually dragging her out the door.

"Now remember your cover story." Max told him, as they rode to Jam Pony.

He sighed at her, "Yes, yes I know. I got beat up and put into a coma from some pissed off guys I fought as Monty Cora." He said as he peddled, trying to keep up with her. Finally, with some regret he told her, "Hey, can you slow down, just a little?"

"Awh, am I too fast for you?" She asked looking back at him. Then her face instantly changed, "I'm sorry, I didn't even think..." She said, slowing down and riding next to him. 

Alec sighed again, he hated the fact that he wasn't back to tip top shape. *Hey, it's a lot better than before.* He told himself, trying to cheer himself up. Soon they pulled up to the building, and got off their bikes, walking them inside. 

"HEY!" He turned to the voice, and saw Sketchy running over to them. "Good to see you, Man." He then looked between them, "So, how was your weekend?" He asked, poking Alec in the side with his elbow. Alec watched Max roll her eyes, but the smile on her face betrayed her. 

"Good." He said simply, then "Thanks again." Patting Sketchy on the back, as they started to walk to their lockers. 

"Oh my sweet Jesus!" Normal yelled, running out from behind the desk, and Alec rolled his eyes. He had been wanting to avoid this. "My Rock Star is back!" He said, hitting him lightly on the shoulder. "How are you doing? Are you okay? Are you sure you're ready to return to work?"

Alec almost laughed, "I'm doing okay, and I can't wait to get back to work."

Normal looked over to Max, "See, now this.." He said, putting an arm around Alec and squeezing slightly, "Is a good employee." He moved away, "Now you take it easy, okay? Take as many breaks as you need, light packages, short trips. Don't go straining yourself. You hear me?" Alec just nodded, he didn't want to argue that just the opposite was better for him actually. "Good, now everyone, get back to work!" He yelled, "Bip. Bip. Bip."

He felt Max's hand push him slightly on the back, and they continued their walk to the lockers. Cindy was there waiting for them with a smile. "And Normal's golden boy returns." She gave Alec hug, "Glad you're back. And how was you're weekend?" She asked, looking at Max.

Max smiled, "Good, and you..." She said pointing at Cindy. "You were in on the whole thing."

"So what did the boy get you?" She asked, "Because he wouldn't show me." She said looking back at Alec and hitting his shoulder.

"Hey! Why is it that everyone has to hit me? I am the one that is still healing here!" He said with a pout.

"Oh, don't even..." Max said, slapping him on the back. 

"Ouch." He said with a slight wince, and she rolled her eyes again. "I was serious, that one hurt." He said softly, so only she could hear. He watched her eyes widen in realization, and her mouth gave out an apology, as he straightened his shoulders with another slight wince, feeling the fabric move over the scratch marks on his back. 

Cindy's eyes moved back and forth between the two of them, "Will you two stop whatever way you are communicating, and show me?" 

Alec almost laughed at the frustration in OC's voice. He watched as Max moved her hand inside her shirt, and lifted out the necklace. Cindy squealed, actually squealed, "Oh, it's beautiful." She said and turned to him, "You picked this out?" She asked looking shocked. 

"Hey! I do have taste." 

"That you do, that you do." She replied, "You did fall for my Boo here." And he smiled.

"Hey... Welcome back party is over, it's work time people!" Normal yelled out from behind the desk. The two girls groaned, and Alec only smiled as he walked over to the desk to get his packages to deliver.  
___________________________________

The day actually went by to quickly for him. The wind and sun on his face, seeing people, seeing the buildings, it all felt so... wonderful. He couldn't think of any other way to describe it. He couldn't believe that he had even missed the smell of the devastated, dirty city. 

Max and him were riding back to the house, and then were actually going to meet Sketchy and OC later at Crash, and he couldn't help the smile on his face. "Hey, I need to stop here for a minute." Max said pointing to one of the stores. They stopped the bikes, just outside. "Joshua gave me a list of a few colors he's out of." She said, and Alec smiled.

"I'll wait out here." He said, looking up at the sky. 

"Okay, be right back, watch my bike." She said with a wink, and walked inside. His hand moved, and held onto the handle bars of hers, to keep it upright. He looked around, watching the people go by. Walking home, or to work. Shopping or selling. 

"They could be anywhere, anyone." Someone yelled out, and his head snapped around, looking for who had said it, and then spotted a talk, black guy, holding up a can.

"They look like you and me!" He yelled again, and Alec knew immediately what the guy was talking about. Transgenics... him... Max.

"They could be dating your daughter.... your son!" His knuckles grabbed the the handle bars harder. 

"Do you know where they are?" He yelled, "Do you know where they work? Do you know where they hang out?" 

Alec's head spun at his words, his body shaking slightly, his eyes closing tightly, his mind not hearing the man yelling anymore, not hearing the other people around him. His mind just sending the voice to his brain, his brain remembering.

"Where is she?.... Where does she work?..... Where does she go after work?...." His body trembled, remembering the pain, the terrible pain. The words repeating, the questions repeating, over and over and over and over. His body pulling at the restraints, the metal only burning his skin. 

The questions, the pain, the emptiness, the pain, the nothingness.... the hands? His body jerked trying to shake them off, away. The voice, "Alec..." It wasn't the same voice, it wasn't the questions, it was.... "Alec, look at me."

His eyes snapped open, even though his mind didn't want to hear the request. His eyes looking into deep brown ones. He felt her hand on his shoulder, her other at his face. "Max?" He asked, his mind confused, his ears ringing from his fast beating heart, his labored breathing.

Her concerned eyes stared back at him. "Yeah, it's me." She said softly, then her head looked around, then came back to face him. "Let's go home." She said softly, "Can you?" She asked indicating the bike. He nodded yes, even though he wasn't sure. His hands were still shaking, and brief flashes kept going though his mind, and his body would jerk slightly.

He watched her get on her bike, and somehow he managed to ride his with her back home. Once there, he was almost in a fog. He couldn't remember locking up the bike, or moving into the house, or even sitting down on the couch. The string of questions kept replaying in his mind, and the things they did in-between the questions, made his body shake, his head jerk, his eyes close. 

But somewhere in the back of his mind, he felt comforting arms around him, her heard a soft voice trying to comfort him. A part of his mind tried to hold onto that, as the rest of it was being bombarded by all the things he swept under that rug, pushed into the closet, and tried to forget. His body starting to shake, tremble, but the arms continued to hold him, the voice continued to try and comfort him, comfort him from the torturous memories that played in his mind.


	37. Chapter 37

And she held onto him, that's the only thing that she could think of doing. Max knew he was remembering something, what exactly she wasn't sure. Manticore, White, maybe both. It didn't matter really, all that mattered was that he was suffering, and she had to find a way to comfort him.

Her arms were around his shaking form, one hand rubbing his back, the other at the back of his head. His face was pressed into her neck, her skin could feel the wetness of his tears, the heat of his ragged, shuddering breath. "It's okay, I'm right here." She told him, hoping it would help, that her voice was somehow making it's way through the memories.

Minutes passed by, and then his arms moved around her, holding onto her tightly, almost afraid she would disappear if he didn't. She kissed the top of his head, and rested her cheek against it. Then they both jumped, as they heard the phone ring in the other room. She didn't move for it, she didn't care, nothing else was more important right then, then being there with him.

But soon she found she didn't have to as Joshua walked into the room with the phone, and stopped quickly at seeing them on the couch. Max looked up at him, and he mouthed that it was Cindy on the phone. She shook her head, and looked down at Alec, and with one hand waved him away. She knew he understood when he nodded, and went back to the kitchen. There was no way in hell they were going to meet up with Cindy and Sketchy at Crash.

She continued to rub his back, telling him everything was okay, that he was safe, and she was there. The shaking had almost stopped, but she could still feel his increased heart rate. And then she heard his voice, it was so quiet, even with her enhanced hearing she had to strain to hear it. "I'm sorry."

Her shock at the statement made her reply take a little longer, and then she asked confused, "Why?" He tried to pull away, but she held onto him. She felt him shudder as he took a deep breath.

"For being so... weak."

This time she pulled away from him, and looked him in the eyes, her hands going to the sides of his face, making him look at her. She was completely shocked by his statement, *Weak?* she thought, *How could he think that?* She saw the look in his eyes, the hurt, the pain, the... self loathing. "Oh God, Alec, that's the last thing I would think of to describe you."

He shook his head, trying not to look at her, and she forced his face back to hers, and rested her forehead on his. "Alec, you are the strongest person I have ever met." She didn't even know how to really explain to him, how wrong he was. "I know of no one who could have survived what you went through." She watched his eyes close, and she kissed him lightly.

Her hands moved over the side of his face, as she looked back at him, trying not to sigh. "But look at me." He said his voice harsh, yet so quiet. "Someone says something, and it just.... sets me off." She watched his face contort, and she could tell he was still reliving it, even though he was talking to her. "I can't control it, I just..." She felt him shaking again.

Then she knew, she knew what was really wrong. He wasn't afraid of the shaking or the crying, he was afraid of being out of control. Out of control to him meant weak, and it scared the hell out of him. "It's okay." She said softly, "We'll get through this. Remember, you aren't alone." She felt his body shake again, and she moved her arms back around him, holding him close. "Tell me what's happening."

Max felt him tense, knew he didn't want to, and his head jerked slightly. She knew it was still playing in his mind, she could almost feel when something would happen in his brain, because his fingers would press a little tighter against her back. She nuzzled her face into his hair, "Tell me." She said again, softly.

Then she just waited, feeling his breath against her neck, her ear, as he seemed to be trying to speak, trying to find the words. "You don't want to know." He finally said, "You really, don't want to know."

The tone of his voice made her shudder, it sounded so dark, so pained, and she knew he was right. But he needed to tell someone, and she was the best one for it. "Alec, please. You need to get this out, you need to talk about it."

He pulled away from her, moving back against the couch, almost pushing himself away from her, his eyes still closed. She watched him, seeing his eyes shift under the lids, his head moving slightly side to side. She reached out for his hands, and he jumped slightly, but let her take them. His hands squeezing hers back.

She watched his lips tremble slightly, as they tried to form words, "Questions, lots of questions. Really, only the same questions. Over and over. They never stopped, ever." His voice rambled, his eyes still shut. She could tell he couldn't look at her and tellher, that and the memories that were probably going through his brain made it hard for him to do so.

She squeezed his hand lightly, and he continued, "They kept asking, over and over. They wouldn't stop, they knew I wouldn't answer, they knew, but they didn't care, they didn't care." He didn't have to say what questions they were asking, she already knew they were about her, and she knew he wasn't saying to try and protect her from it as much as he could.

"They didn't care what they did," He said again, then his whole body tensed, "The pain for not answering." He stopped, and shook his head, not saying anything else.

"Tell me." She said again.

"No."

She squeezed his hand, "Tell me."

Max watched his shoulders tense and his head move forward, his face tilted down almost as if he was trying to brace himself from it again. "The electric volts... were... tolerable. The burning metal... against my skin... was... annoying. The cutting into my skin... was... irritating."

She didn't know what to say as he went on, *Tolerable? Annoying? Irritating? That's all?* And then it hit her, and she shook lightly, if those things were only that, what did they do to him for him to consider it painful? She listened to him go on, her stomach turning, and she felt like she might actually become physically ill. And the worst part of it, was she knew, that even while the words were spilling form his mouth, he was still shielding her from some of it.

"The bone breaking... hurt, and they reset them, so they could do it again." His head jerked again, "The images, the images they played. I've never seen so much blood. So much of my own." Her eyes widened as she realized what he was saying, they showed him pictures of himself being tortured.

"Laughing, when he was there, when he would ask the questions, laughing at the pain they inflicted on the transgenic filth." She sat there listening, wetness in her own eyes as he continued. "Threatening that he would..." he stopped, and she squeezed his hand, telling him to go on. "That he would find you anyway. That when they did, they would.." He stopped again, shaking his head, his jaw tightening.

He went on, but not with what he had starting staying. "The burning feeling of the drugs they pushed through my veins, trying to make me go insane, make me talk..... I hid my voice." He said it so detached, but his body still shuddered with the intake of his breath. 

"The laser burned into my eyes, more images forced into my mind. Images, photos.... no one should ever see. And I didn't, I didn't anymore." Max watched him relive it before her. Him telling her how he had slowly began to shut himself down from what they were doing to him, and she wanted to cry, cry for him, but she knew she couldn't. She had to stay strong, strong for him, because if she broke down, he would stop.

"But I could still hear the questions, I could still feel the needles, the shocks, the knifes, the... everything. The laughter from him. The screaming of his questions as he got mad. The higher shocks, higher volts, when I couldn't, wouldn't answer." His body convulsed slightly, his voice catching. 

"Higher, higher, more... the smell..." His head moved back and forth. "The metal... so hot, the volts so high, my skin.... like fire. And I couldn't, wouldn't feel it... not anymore." 

A tear traveled down her cheek, and she quickly brushed it away. She couldn't believe what she was hearing, and she couldn't believe that he actually, somehow had come back, alive, from it.

"But the questions, the threats, the... offers." His whole body tensed, and she squeezed his hand again, but his head shook no. She watched him try to take calming breaths, watched him try to stop the memories, while avoiding what he meant. But Max had figured it out, she knew that White had offered the torture to stop if he would tell him where she was. And he went on, "They went on, and on. Over and over. I could hear what they were doing, what they were doing to me. And then, I shut them out, I shut them all out. And I was safe, I locked them all out, everyone out. And I was safe, you were... safe."

She quickly wiped another tear away, and his voice continued, "I don't know how long, I don't know what they did after that. I don't know if they went on. I don't remember anything else. You say I was there a month, I don't know how long. The days and nights ran together, I don't know..."

Max slowly moved towards him, and her hand softly rested on his check. He jumped slightly, but then moved into the touch. Her other arm moved around him, and moved him towards her. He went with the motion, and allowed himself to be pulled into her arms. Resting his face back at her neck, his arms going back around her. 

She didn't know what to say, so she said nothing. She didn't know what to do, so she just held him. And that's what they did. They stayed there, just holding onto each other, for a long time.  
___________________________________

They both did go to work the next day, and they did actually go to Crash later that night as well. Alec still beat Sketchy at pool, even though he was a little rusty, and him and Max still drank Sketchy under the table, while OC found herself a honey for the evening. Leaving the two transgenics to find their way out onto the dance floor. And for that evening, it was like they could forget it all, forget about everything that happened, forget that the world was trying to hunt them down.

But that was only a brief time, because the next day, after work, Max took Alec and Joshua to Terminal City. She introduced them to Dix, Luke, Mole, and other X5's and 6's that were working in what they considered the command center. But Alec noticed that there didn't really seem to be a command, mostly it was people doing what they wanted, and only working together when there was a problem. 

But those thoughts were interrupted when a rescue team had come back during their little tour. Wounded were being brought in, and they ran to help. He had tensed at the sight before him, the blood bringing back memories. But he blocked it out, and the solider in him took over. His brain remembering his field med training, and he was removing bullets, cauterizing holes, and patching the transgenics up they put in front of him. 

He remembered the look on Max's face when the crisis was over, and she found him again. He looked down at himself, as he saw her eyes doing, and then realized he was covered in blood. Her hand reached out for his wrist, and without words she walked him to bathroom, allowing him to clean up, and retrieving him some new clothes to wear. 

They stayed in TC that night, them and Joshua. Since it was to late to try and get back home, and Joshua decided to stay there the next morning as well. Alec knew why, and he completely understood. Joshua liked being able to talk to other people, to help out, to feel useful. 

So he wasn't surprised at all when a few days later Joshua announced that he was moving to Terminal City, and had packed up a lot of his stuff to go. Some books, paints, supplies. And he wasn't surprised at all, when Max had protested, worried about him, but in the end she gave in. Not like she really had a choice in the matter. 

But by the end of the week, a few easy rescue missions under his belt with Max, more time spent in TC getting to know the other transgenics, getting supplies for the people there that couldn't leave, he did get a surprise from Max.


	38. Chapter 38

"What?" He asked again, slightly in shock. His brain couldn't actually believe what he heard. He watched her sigh across the table from him.

"I know, I know. With the hard time I gave to Joshua about it, and all. But, I think it's a good idea. We spend almost all our free time there, and if something goes wrong, it would be a lot quicker..."

"You want to move to TC." He stated, and she nodded, as she took another bite of her dinner. He shook his head, and smiled, "Well, good."

She looked up at him quickly, and he almost laughed. "Good? You're okay with it?"

He did laugh then, "Max, I had been wanting to suggest it, but I knew how upset you were with Joshua going there... So I didn't say anything."

She nodded, "Okay, then I guess we agree, we'll move." He nodded back at her, and then he saw her look back down, then back up again, the smile off her face. She was about to speak again, but then stopped. Alec sighed, "Max, what?"

"Nothing," she said and took another bite.

He waved his fork back and forth at her, "No, it's not nothing. You were going to say something."

"Have you noticed... that... well... at Terminal City..." He saw her dancing around, whatever it was she was trying to say.

"Spit it out Max."

"Ugh! Fine! Everyone just does what they want. There's arguing between the X's and the other transgenics. There's no stability. It's a wonder we even get any rescue missions done."

He smiled, "Yeah, I noticed."

"Then why haven't you said anything?"

"It's not my place to say anything. You're the one that brought me there."

"Whatever." She said taking a sip of her drink. "Alec?" She said after a few moments.

"Yeah?" He responded taking a drink himself.

"I want you to try and take command of TC."

He almost spit out the pop, and choked slightly, "What?" He wasn't sure if he had heard her correctly or not. *Command? She want's ME to do it?*

"Oh don't look so shocked."

"Max, why me?"

"Why you?" She asked looking back up at him. "Well, for one, it seems when ever we meet a new X, they seem to know you. They either salute, or since they've been out in the world for awhile, at least are very respectful to you. Don't think I haven't noticed." She said waving her finger at him. "Then, you and Joshua get along great, which has also let you get along with the non human transgenics. Heck, even Mole respects you."

He shook his head, and rolled his eyes. "So? I get along with people." He winked at her, "It's cause I'm so charming." She rolled her eyes at him, and he laughed. "But command?"

"Don't give me that either Alec. I may not know what your exact rank was at Manticore, but I know it was up there. I also, know you know what you are doing. And that place needs leadership, or it's all going to fall apart." He saw her sigh. "No matter how much I hate to admit it, we are all soldiers, and we need a chain of command. If it's not there... we will fall apart."

He nodded, he knew she had a point, and agreed with her entirely. They did need a chain of command, someone at the center, or even a group of people. Because otherwise, everything would stay unorganized. But him? He sighed. *Sure, I could have done it, would have jumped at the chance.... before.* He ran his fingers through his hair, and rested his elbow on the table, rubbing his forehead with that hand.

"Why not you?" He asked her. His heart wanted to tell him that she could do it, that she could do anything. But the logical part of his brain knew it was a bad idea. That no matter what she did, or how good she was, many would still see her as an '09 escapee, a person who was weak, who didn't have the same training.

She groaned at him, and then looked up with a glare, "God, I know I'm going to regret saying this to you." He rolled his eyes at her. "I don't have the same training, experience, or anything like you do. Now, that doesn't mean I can't still kick your ass."

He laughed, "Yeah, right, whatever." Alec told her with a huge smile on his face. He then sighed, "I just don't know Max. I mean, how is everyone going to take me just coming in there, and taking over? Besides..."

"Besides what?" She asked him.

He sighed again, he didn't want to say it, but he had to, he was worried about it. "After everything that's happened.... I just don't think I would be the best person..."

She cut him off, "That's non-sense and you know it! And as for how to do it, we can talk with Mole, Luke, Dix, Joshua, Biggs, and Cece. It's them and us that usually plan things. At least we have that much going for us."

He nodded, "Okay, let's try and get them all for a meeting, and then we can ALL decide what to do, and what's best." Max nodded back at him, and they continued their dinner.  
___________________________________

That weekend they moved their stuff into one of the few empty rooms that was left at what they had dubbed 'headquarters.' The room was small, four walls, no windows, but they weren't going to be choosey. They needed someplace close by, and so it worked. There was enough room for a double bed and one dresser, which they had found in an abandoned nearby house. A house that hadn't yet been occupied by another transgenic. 

"Home sweet home." Alec said as he put the last few pieces of his clothes away. 

Max rolled her eyes, "Oh, yeah. It's what I've always dreamed of." She heard him laugh, and picked up one of the pillows throwing it at him, hitting the back of his head.

"Hey!" He said spinning around to her. She smiled, and gave him, the 'who? me?' look. He picked up the pillow, and walked over to her, a small gleam in his eye. 

Max started to back up, and slowly reach behind her for the other pillow. Then in a flash, his pillow hit her side, and she grabbed hers, and turned hitting him in the chest with hers. She caught the smile on his face briefly before, she was hit again. She swung out with hers, and felt it make contact.

And she laughed as she heard him, "Geez, Max... what fascination do you have with my ass?" She hit him again, and heard his laughter, as they continued, beating each other with the big, white, soft, pillows. "That's it!" 

Then she felt the contact to her chest, with more force and she was falling backwards, falling onto the bed in giggles. In an instant she found her arms above her head, the pillow grabbed away from her her, and him staring down at her, with the biggest smile on his face. And she wished she could look at that smile forever, see that happy sparkle in those hazel eyes.

But then her eyes closed quickly, and she was squealing, as his free hand started to tickle her sides. "Pay back's a bitch." He told her, and she struggled under him, laughing so hard, tears were forming in her eyes.

"Alec... stop." She pleaded, her legs and hips trying to buck him off her, her body trying to move away from his tickling fingers, her arms trying to twist away from his strong grasp. She knew there was one easy way for her to get him off her, especially, how he was leaning over her, but she regretted doing that to him a long time ago. And she didn't want to injure him, especially somewhere that she was hoping they would use later.

"Say Uncle." He told her, grinning down at her.

She continued to struggle under him, looking up at him, still laughing from the tickling, but her eyes glaring at him. "Never!" She yelled back at him, trying to roll him off her. "Now, take you're hands off me!" She yelled again.

His grin widened, and his fingers slowed down, moving slowly under her shirt, grazing across her breasts, "Oh, Maxie, you don't mean that." He said, leaning down close to her, his breath over her ear, as his thumb brushed over the silk covered nipple. Her eyes closed, and her tongue came out to moisten her lips, her body now moving into the caress.

His lips soon found their way to her neck, and she left out a sigh, but her wrists still struggled against his grip. Now, not to get away, but so that she could touch him. But he wasn't letting go, which excited part of her, and her hips moved up against him, and she smiled at the groan in her ear.

She felt him move, felt his hand at her leg, and soon he wasn't straddling her legs anymore, he was between them, pressing himself against her hip. She groaned, feeling him hard through both of their pants. Her legs wrapped around him, bringing him closer, making them both moan, and soon his lips were on hers. His tongue darting into her mouth, making her taste him, and her head started to swim. 

His hand moving between, undoing the buttons on her shirt. Max moaned into his mouth, as his hand cupped her breast, squeezing it slightly, then traveling under her to unhook her bra.

"Whoah!.... umm..." The two broke the kiss quickly and looked towards the voice and the now open door. "Uhh, sorry guys." Biggs said, looking down at the floor, with a huge grin on his face. "But, uh... remember... meeting? You asked for it."

Max tried not to let the blush move over her body, as she laid there under Alec, her shirt open, her legs still around his waist, and then she moved her wrists again. This time Alec letting go instantly, and she dropped her legs from around him, her hands moving to her shirt to try and move it back around her. 

But Alec wasn't moving, as a small laugh escaped him, "Right, meeting. We'll be there in a few minutes." Biggs nodded, shaking his head, and left shutting the door. He looked down at her, "And after the meeting, we get a lock for that door."

Max grinned, nodding her head in agreement, and then they both started laughing.  
___________________________________

"So, what are we all doing here?" Mole asked, leaning back in his chair, smoking a cigar. 

Alec looked around at everyone there, and sighed lightly, but then he allowed his training to take over his doubts. "Well, we were talking." He said indicating him and Max.

Biggs laughed, "Wow, you two? Actually, talking?" Cece and Joshua laughed with him, making Alec smile. Max glared at them and he felt the slap to the back of his shoulder.

Alec cleared his throat slightly, "As I was saying, we were TALKING, and we have noticed, as I am sure all of you have, that Terminal City, is well... in chaos. There is no organization, barely any communication, no structure at all." He saw the nods of everyone around the room. "Now, all of us have worked together to get some things done. But much more is going to have to be done, especially since they now have some kind of technology to find us."

More nodding around the room. "If we are going to have a community in these gates, in Terminal City, a safe haven for all transgenics, there is going to have to be some organization."

"So, what are you suggesting?" Mole asked him, taking another puff of his cigar.

He took a deep breath, *Here it goes.* He thought, "We need to set up a command center. A chain of command. We need leaders to organize people, supplies, housing, food, everything. We need to get everyone to work together, and that's only going to happen if we do something. We're all soldiers here, it's what we know, it's what we are good at." Everyone was nodding again, and he knew they agreed with him. "The government is trying to get rid of us, but they created us. And they created us to be soldiers, to be the best. So the best way to beat them, is to be what they trained us to be."

"Are you suggesting War?" Mole asked again, a gleam in his eye.

Alec shook his head, "No. Unless they force us too, but that doesn't mean we can't get ready for one." He saw Mole smile, and Biggs nod. 

Mole stood up from his chair moving over to him, Alec stood there, his shoulders straight. He came closer, standing face to face, silent for a brief moment eyeing him, then the reptilian man spoke, "So, what do you want was us to do Commander?"

When he felt almost everyone in the room let out the breath they had been holding, he spoke. "First, we.." He said motioning to everyone there. "Are the command center. We have been doing everything anyway." He looked at everyone, and they nodded. 

He then turned back to the man in front of him, "Mole, you're in charge of weapons. Joshua, food, clothing, the like. Dix, Luke, I need you for intelligence, maps, blueprints. We'll get you more equipment. Biggs, the people. Organized, grouped, prepared and readied." He remembered the missions they had been on, and knew that Biggs would be perfect for the job. 

Alec turned to Cece, "You were the field med, right?" She nodded, "Medical supplies, finding doctors, anyone with medical training." Then he turned to Max, "Money and other supplies, let's put that cat burglar suit to good use. I can also put my contacts to use." 

Everyone seemed comfortable with their position. "Okay, we need inventories on everything. Weapons," he said nodding at Mole, "Food, medicine, gas, vehicles." He said looking at Cece, Joshua and Max. "We need to know how many people we have here, where they are, and what they need." He said, and Biggs nodded. "We'll all report back here, at 0800 tomorrow."

Everyone stayed and he looked around the room, and shook his head, "Oh, come on, I don't need to dismiss you, do I?" Biggs and Cece laughed and headed down the stairs after Mole. 

He turned, at feeling Max's hand on his, "I'll also see about that lock." She said with a wink, and he smiled. "See you later, tonight." She said, pulling away to go down the stairs, letting her fingers drop from his hand slowly.

"Definitely," he said softly, watching her go, Joshua following her, and then he turned to Dix and Luke. Walking up to the table, "Okay, what do you guys need, and what information do we have?" He asked, and they started to answer. And as they talked, Alec could feel it all coming back to him. His training, the feeling of being in command again, the feeling of control over his life, and he suddenly realized, he now had a purpose once again.


	39. Chapter 39

"Hey, Mole, have you seen Alec?" Max asked the reptilian man, who was fixing some shot gun at his work table. 

He took the cigar from his mouth, "Yeah, him and Biggs are out back somewhere." He said, returning to his work.

"Thanks," she said moving out of the room, towards the back. She wanted to tell him that the first shipment of supplies they needed had arrived, and were being stored or distributed. And, she smiled to herself, she just wanted to see him. Since he had taken command of Terminal City, they and the others had a lot of work to do.

She walked out the door, and turned the corner, then she heard the sounds, a scuffle or fight. She hurried towards it, turning another corner, and stopped dead in her tracks. Her mind having a hard time comprehending what was happening, "What the hell is going on?" She yelled, and ran over to the two men fighting.

Max quickly wrapped her arms around Biggs waist, pulling him away from Alec, just as he was about to kick, making them both lose their balance. Max fell to the ground on her back, and grunted as Biggs fell back on to her, knocking the wind from her.

She slowly opened her eyes, looking up, and found Alec with a large smile on his face, "Well, umm, Max... I didn't know you felt that way about him." She felt Biggs laughing above her, and saw Alec reach out his hand to him, helping him up. They both turned back to look down at her.

Biggs smiled down at her, and she just stared at them, in shock, not understanding why they were laughing, when they were just fighting. And he spoke, "Don't worry man, I wouldn't steal her from ya."

Alec laughed, reaching his hand back down to her, and she took it, him pulling her to her feet quickly. "Oh, I wasn't worried." He said, pulling her to his side tightly. 

Biggs grinned, "But, you know... if you ever want a third..." He trailed off. 

Max just about choked, her mouth opening, then she looked up at Alec, and his eyes were sparkling. She looked back and forth between the two. "Excuse me?" Alec really started laughing then, and she hit him in the shoulder, which only made the two men laugh more. 

Alec looked down at her, shaking his head, "He's just kidding." He told her, pulling her close for a slight hug, pushing her face in his chest. But what she didn't see was him looking over her head, and mouthing out the word, 'Lola.' And she didn't see, Biggs nod, and grin back at him.

When she pulled away, in a slight huff, she looked up at him. "So what the hell were you two fighting for?"

Alec shook his head at her, "We weren't fighting... well... we were fighting, just not... a real fight."

She shook her head at him, "What?" she asked in confusion.

"Just practicing our fighting skills." Biggs told her.

"Oh," she said softly. But she felt slightly hurt, *Why didn't he want to practice with me?* She asked herself, *Besides I'd like to learn some of the stuff he knows.* But instead, she decided to talk business. "Well, can this wait? I need to talk to the Commander here." She said with a slight tease to her voice.

Alec rolled his eyes at her, and Biggs shook his head, "I'll catch you guys later." He said, then looked at Alec and saluted, "Commander." Then started laughing once again. 

"Why I ought'ta..." He said taking a step towards the other man, but the grin on his face deceived the seriousness in his voice.

Max rolled her eyes with the two, but she had to admit. She was glad that Alec and Biggs were such good friends, because she knew he needed it. Even though, he was fully healed physically, he still had some issues to go through. Heck, she knew he always would, they both in realty would for the rest of their lives. But, thankfully, as far as she knew, the flashbacks were happening less and less, and when they did show up, he was in basic control of them. 

Mostly, it was only nightmares, which was understandable. The only thing that troubled her was that in the last few days, neither of them had slept that much, and she was wondering if it was truly that he thought he didn't have the time, or that he was avoiding going to sleep.

"Okay, what's the business you have to tell me?" He asked her. She relayed the information to him, and he nodded, "Good, we can work on the next shipment later on." She nodded at him, and looked up at him. "What else?" He asked her.

She sighed knowing that she was caught, he knew her to well. Knew that she had something else on her mind. "You and Biggs fighting."

He interrupted her, "Max, we weren't really fighting.."

"I know, that's not what I meant." She sighed again, "I know you and him are good friends, and that's great. But..." She took another breath, and watched him waiting for her to go on, "But, why didn't you ask me? I mean, you could also show me a few things." She tilted her head, "Maybe, just maybe I could show you a few things, that I've learned in my ten years on the outside."

He grinned, "Yeah, how to fight dirty."

She winced slightly, "Did I ever tell you, I was sorry for that?"

He pulled her back into his arms, "Well, you said it afterwards, but you didn't mean it. At least I think you said it, my mind was a little clouded in pain at that moment."

She wrapped her arms around his neck, and pressed her body against his, "Well, I'm sorry." She said, "Very, sorry." Then she leaned in and kissed him.

He pulled back, and grinned at her. "Yeah, now you are sorry, only because you like what you hurt so much."

She couldn't help the grin that turned up on her lips, "Well, then I didn't know how valuable the merchandise was." She saw him about to say something, and she knew it was going to be something cocky, but she stopped him, by pulling him back down for a kiss, her tongue darting into his mouth, her ears picking up his groan, and his arms wrapping tighter around her. 

They slowly broke apart, both remembering that they were still outside, and she looked back up at him, "You still haven't answered my question." She told him, and he looked at her confused, and she smiled knowing he had forgotten it. "Why didn't you ask me to practice with you?"

He sighed, "Max..."

"What?" She asked, looking up into his eyes, and saw the emotion going through his eyes, and then she knew. She had seen that look many times before, he was worried. She sighed at him, "Will you stop worrying about me. You aren't going to hurt me, when am I going to get that through your thick skull?"

She saw him about ready to object, and she continued, "Besides, is there a real difference? I mean, if you lost control during fighting, weren't you worried you would have hurt Biggs?"

"That's different."

"Why? Because you think he can defend himself better against you than I can?" She saw him look down, and she was getting a little angry, "What? Do you think I'm that weak? Is that why you have always held back when fighting with me?" He looked up at her, his expression slightly in shock. "What? Are you surprised that I figured that out?" She asked again, but continued before he could answer, "So why? Huh? Why?"

"Max, I've told you why before."

"Yes, I know. You're afraid you'll hurt me. But I thought we went through this, I thought we got over this." 

He turned away from her and walked a few steps, "You may have." He said softly, and she walked over to him ready to place a hand on his shoulder, when he quickly spun back around to her. "Don't. Max, I don't need comforting all the time, okay? This is just something that YOU are going to have to deal with. I CAN'T get over it, okay, I'm ALWAYS going to worry about it. So don't make me feel bad that I can't change that."

She was about to object, but he went on, "Don't Max." He said again, "When will you get it through your thick skull.." He said throwing her words from before back at her, "That I love you, and that I worry about you? And that because of those two things, I can't help but worry that I may lose control. And you are in denial if you think that I am completely back in control of myself, if you think I'm all cured. Because I'm not. No matter how much I wish I was, no matter how much I wish I could just push it all away. I can't. I've come to realize that, realize that I may never be able to. So when are you?"

She didn't know what to say. She saw how tense he was, and could hear the anger in his voice. "Alec.."

But he interrupted again, "I'm practicing with Biggs, not you. I can't and I won't. If you want to learn something knew ask him or Cece. But I can't." He said, and she reached out for him, and he brushed her away. "Not now Max." He said and turned around walking away.

"Alec?" She said starting to follow him.

"Leave me alone." He said, his arm waving her away, his back to her, "Just leave me alone." She stopped in her tracks, watching him walk back around the corner. She took a deep breath, closing her eyes, and dropping her head. *What just happened?* She asked herself, not sure exactly why the conversation ended the way it did.   
___________________________________

He walked back into headquarters, "Max was looking for you, did she find you?" Mole asked him.

Alec straightened his shoulders, "Yeah, she found me." He said his voice stiff and tense. Dix and Luke gave each other a look, as he walked up to them, looking at the computer and maps on the table. "Any news?" He asked them, trying to shake off the harshness in his voice, but not quite able to.

The two transgenics looked at each other again, and Dix spoke, "Nothing new yet, except we got a few more updated maps, which we are putting into the computer. We've been monitoring the police frequencies and others, and nothing has happened."

Alec nodded, "Well, no news is good news I guess." He said trying to lighten the air, that had seemed to thicken when he walked into the room, but his try fell flat. 

"Yeah," Luke responded to him, and he nodded.

"Okay, if you need me..." He said patting his coat pocket, which held his cell phone.

"Got it, Alec." Dix told him, as the two went back to work. He moved down the hallway to the door, and sighed as his heightened hearing picked up the words from the room.

"Trouble in paradise." Mole said. 

Alec walked out the door, letting the door slam behind him. He walked towards the garage, and finding one of the motorcycles, he got on, started it up, and rode towards the exit to TC. Well the exit that the sector police didn't know about, or have guarded. In a few minutes he was out in the city, cruising down the streets way above the posted speed limits. 

He was angry at himself for having gotten mad at her. He was angry at himself for allowing that anger to affect him at headquarters with everyone. He was angry at her for not understanding. He was angry at her for making him care so much. But the thing that angered him the most, was that he was angry. 

Alec tensed slightly remembering her even then trying to comfort him when he spoke with venom in his voice to her. It wasn't that he didn't like her there, like her touching him, hugging him. What he didn't like was that she felt like she needed to do that. He didn't want to have to be comforted. He was in fucking command of a whole 'nation' of transgenic soldiers for crying out loud. 

He needed to be able to deal with the problems that they faced, and shouldn't be dealing with his own problems. And the thing was, Max kept reminding him of the problems, the memories he still had to deal with. When he was doing his job, commanding, giving out orders, he didn't think about anything else, he didn't remember, he didn't worry. But when she was there, it was all brought back to the forefront.

His hands gripped the handles harder, as the bike speed up, the wind hitting his face. She kept bringing him back to it, even if she wasn't trying to. His jaw tensed, and his heart ached. That was the problem, that's what worried him, that's what angered him so much. Max, the person who he honestly couldn't live without, was the person, was the thing that was his greatest weakness, his greatest fear. Because somehow he just knew, she would be his downfall, and there was nothing he could do about it, he had absolutely no control over it.


	40. Chapter 40

Max sat with her back against the wall, her legs crossed on the bed, her fingers playing with her necklace, staring at the door, waiting. Waiting for him to come back. The only thing was, she wasn't sure if he would return to the room or not. But the logical part of her, told her he would at some point to at least change clothes. She knew he wouldn't leave, he wouldn't leave TC and the job he had taken on, and part of her knew he wouldn't leave her as well.

She knew the fastest way to see him would to find him once he returned to headquarters, but she didn't want to talk to him there. She didn't want to try and corner him there, or worse get into a fight with him there. She sighed again, thinking about what happened. 

*He just needs some time to cool off, to be alone.* She told herself. She was pissed about what he had said, and how he had left, and that part of her wanted to kick his ass for it. But the other part of her kind of understood. She had slowly began to see the real him, and knew that he was having a problem with being 'weak', needing comfort. And while she thought his fears of hurting her were completely irrational, he didn't think so. 

Max sighed, maybe he was right. Maybe she needed to accept that he wasn't going to just be okay someday. That maybe he did need to do some of it on his own, and she shouldn't push so much. But she couldn't help it either, *Didn't he see that? Doesn't he understand, that I can't help it either? That I want to be there for him? That I worry about HIM?*

It was getting later and later. She had poked her head out into the hall a few times, and found people walking by. They hadn't seen him, and she was beginning to worry. What if he had really left? What if he had been exposed and a mob of humans got him? What if White got him again? Millions of questions and worries floated through her as she sat on the bed, watching the clock by the bed tick away.

Then she was on her feet as the door opened, and he walked into the room. Max couldn't even help the words that sprang from her mouth, or the harsh tone that came with it, "Where the hell have you been?"

The eyes that looked back up at her put out all the embers of anger that fueled inside of her. He looked lost, upset, and confused. She brought her hand up towards his face, to reach out from him, and he moved away, "Don't." He said softly. His shoulders slumping slightly. "I'm sorry, okay. I ... shouldn't have blown up, I shouldn't have... left like that." He said taking a deep breath. 

This she hadn't expected, and her first response would have been to ask him what was wrong. But now, after everything he had said, she didn't know how to proceed. So she just stood there, waiting for him to talk.

He leaned against the dresser, his elbows on it, his hands going to his head. "I went out for a drive." He said, and she was confused for a moment, until she realized he answered her question. "I needed... to get away, to just... think."

"Okay," she said simply.  
___________________________________

He looked over at her, and he sighed. He had been expecting her to be yelling at him, like when he first came in the door, actually part of him was hoping for it. But as he looked over at her, all he got was silence, her staring at him, and with this ... look, on her face. And it was that look, that he wished he wouldn't ever see on her face. The look that said she was unsure, that she didn't know how to handle him, that she had to becareful with him. *Like I'm some fragile, breakable thing.* 

Alec was getting angry again, the only problem was it wasn't her he was angry with. It was himself. If he wasn't so screwed up, she wouldn't have to walk on egg shells around him, or at least feel like she had too. "Damn it Max, yell at me!" He said looking at her again, seeing the shocked look on her face. "Cuss me out! Call me a Jerk, an Ass! I deserve it."

"No you don't," came back her soft reply.

And he shook his head, "Yes I do! You wouldn't have hesitated to call me every name under the sun for doing something half that bad before. But now, it's like you don't think I can handle it." He shook his head, "If I can't handle you yelling at me, then how the hell do you think I can handle command?" He asked her, moving over to her, staring down at her. 

He could see the anger starting to fuel behind her eyes, but then saw her push it away. "Max, stop! Stop pushing your feelings aside because you think I can't handle them." He saw her struggling with it, and then it dawned on him, and he was surprised he didn't realize it sooner.

"Oh Max," He said with a sigh, "Don't you see? You keep trying to help me, help me with what happened. But you don't even realize, that you need it too."

"What?" She asked him, looking at him questioning. 

His anger faded, as his hand came down to the side of her face, his mind remembering those nights that he had heard her crying next to him, begging for him to wake up. While she wasn't the one that was physically captured and tortured by White, she was tortured emotionally by the experience as well, and it pained his heart. 

Then he cursed himself again. Here he was yelling at her, angry at her for trying to comfort him so much, and he was doing the same thing. *God, we are two of a kind.* He thought, and it turned the corners of his mouth up a little. He saw her confused expression. His hand moved down to hers, and he went and sat on the bed, pulling her to his lap.

"Alec, what the heck?" She asked him.

His arms came around her, pressing her close to him. He looked down at her, and looked into her eyes, "Max, I know that what happened to me, has also effected you." He saw her try and look down, but his hand came up to tilt her face back up. "That it brought out a lot of fears, worries, and you still carry them."

"Do you blame me?"

He shook his head, "Not at all. But, see, you have those worries, and I have mine. Do you think it's any easier for me to just turn off those worries than it is for you?" He asked her.

After a minute, and thought, she responded with a sigh, "I guess not." Alec nodded at her, and she looked back at him, "And you, trying to comfort me now? Do you see how hard it is to not do that?" 

He smiled, "I know, I know." He told her, and sighed as well. "It's just sometimes, you don't want it, you know?" She nodded, "Sometimes, you just need to deal with things on your own."

"Yeah, just not all the time." She said, and he grinned. He knew that she was right too, if she wasn't as persistent as she was, he would never have opened up, would never have told anyone what happened. 

Alec leaned down, his lips brushing against hers, and he felt her arms wrap around his neck. She shifted over his lap, her legs straddling his, his arms pulling her closer, as he laid back onto the bed, pulling her with him. "Time to kiss and make up?" he asked her with a twinkle in his eyes. 

"Definitely," was her response as her mouth claimed his again. His hands traveled up he legs, over her ass, and up and under her shirt. His fingers dancing over her warm skin, her weight shifted over his hips, and he moaned into the kiss. She sat up quickly, and her hands brought up her shirt up and over her head. He shifted up himself, removing his quickly, and just as she got her tank top off, his arms were around her, pressing her chest against his, flesh to flesh. 

His mouth going to her neck, sucking lightly at the skin, her hips grinding down against him, her hands in his hair, as his hands moved to her breasts. Squeezing gently, his thumbs and fingers gently pinching at the hardening nipples, making her moan against him, making her shift her hips. "Alec..." She whimpered against him, her hands pushing him back onto the bed.

Her hands went to his pants, she stood up, and he found them and his boxers were quickly removed from his body, and she was crawling back over him. He watched her lick her lips, and his head fell back to the bed, closing his eyes, as her warm breath traveled over him. 

His mouth let out a groan as her tongue darted out, licking him from base to tip, his hands moving down to her, into her hair, his mouth, gasping out her name, as her mouth moved around the head. Her tongue moving around him, and then her hot, wet mouth moving lower over his hard length, taking him deeper and deeper. 

His hips jerked slightly up at her when he could have sworn he felt the back of her throat, his fingers tightening the hold on her hair. Her mouth started to moved off of him, sucking lightly at the tip, before moving back down and he groaned again, the pleasure so intense. 

She moved faster over him, again and again, his hips moving against her, "Oh, God... Max... please..." He trailed off, his hands trying to pull her up to him, away from him, he was getting to close. She kept going, he struggled, and his hands found her shoulders, pulling her from him, and flipping her over onto her back, him over her. 

She pouted up at him, but not for long, as his mouth found hers, his tongue forcing it's away inside, tasting her, tasting himself slightly. His mouth moved down her chin, her neck, he kissed his way down her breast bone, around the golden necklace hanging between her breasts. His head went to the side, claiming one of her nipples, his teeth grazing it slightly, his tongue flicking at it, before his mouth started to suckle at it, softly, then harder, making her moan under him, her hands gripping his head tightly. 

He repeated the actions on the other one, and smiled at the response he got, her hips jerking up at him, her sounds of pleasure ringing in his ears. He pulled away slightly to continue down her body, kissing his way down her stomach, reaching the button of her pants. And as quickly as she removed his, hers were on the floor as well, and her naked body was before him. His hands moved between her legs, widening them, as he moved back to her.

Alec caught her eye, just as he placed a kiss at her hip, then her inner thigh, his warm breath moving over her skin, watching her body shudder. His fingers moved to the dark curls, spreading her open, one fingertip trailing over her, feeling her wet, warmth, moving over her clit, making her hips shake. He continued, again and again, very softly, teasing her, listening to her whimpers, moans, and pleas.

He moved his finger lower, entering her, watching her arch against it, his mouth moving to her, his tongue darting out, teasing her, licking that sensitive nub, her hips squirming, his name heard in a gasp. His head swam in the erotic taste and smell of her, he moved another finger into her, watching her body move against them, her legs beginning to quiver, as they moved faster in and out of her body, her hands in his hair, at the back of his head. 

This tongue, his mouth, his fingers continued, and kept going as her body started to spasm around his digits, her hands tightening their hold, her mouth screaming out her pleasure, her hips moving against him. He kept going, pushing her through it, prolonging it, till she was whimpering, her hands trying to pull him up to her. 

Slowly withdrawing his fingers from her, he kissed his way back up her body, and her arms wrapped around him, dragging his mouth down to hers in a deep kiss, her tongue wild against his, her legs pulling him down to her, and he groaned as the tip of his erection brushed against her moist, hot center. 

He didn't wait, he thrust himself fully inside of her, both closing their eyes, groaning. His hands gripped her shoulders, as their mouths continued to taste one another, her hands moving up over his back. His hips began to move inside of her, both moaning in pleasure, as they started to move in rhythm.

The rhythm moving faster, harder, but was thrown off completely at the ringing of his cell phone, in his pocket, in his coat, on the floor. They both groaned, stopping, and looked at each other. "It could be a wrong number." He said, hopeful.

"Or it could be something really bad." She said looking up at him, her eyes telling him she hated the idea as much as he did.

He groaned, wrapped his arms around her, and rolled them both to the edge of the bed. He reached to the floor, and heard her moan, as the movement pushed him deeper into her. He closed his eyes, as he opened the phone, trying to get his voice to sound normal, "Hello?" He finally asked.

"Whoah, Joshua, slow down." He said into the phone, as he looked down at Max. He nodded a few times listening to him, and then spoke, "Okay, okay. Get everyone in the meeting room in..." He sighed, "Five minutes." He then hung up the phone, dropping it back on the clothes on the floor.

"I take it, it's not good." She asked.

He shook his head no, "AHHHH," He screamed frustrated, moving his hips back into her again, watching her eyes close and groan. She was about ready to say something and he stopped her, "And no, five minutes is not long enough to do what I want, get dressed, and get there." He took a deep breath, and then pulled himself from her.

She sat up, grabbing her clothes from the floor, sliding her tank top back on. "You'll be okay, till later." She said, with a teasing smile.

He stood up, grabbed his pants, pulling them up his legs, not bothering with the boxers. "Yeah, easy for you to say." He said winking at her, "You already got some of your fun." He saw her about to speak and went on, "And you don't have one of these!" He said, motioning to himself, still painfully hard, trying to move it into his pants as he got dressed. 

She stood, pulling on her pants as well, moving over to him as he finished pulling on his shirt, slipping on his shoes at the same time. She wrapped her arms around him, her hands grabbing his ass, moving his hips against hers. "Nope, I just put yours to good use." 

He groaned, and was about to lean down and kiss her, pull her to him as she pulled away, shaking her finger, "We don't have time." She said and opened the door, heading out into the hall with a swing of her hips.

"Why, you little..." He said, watching her leave. He took a deep breath, and looked down, *Deep, calming breaths. Deep, calming breaths....*  
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Alec walked into the meeting room a few moments after she did, and she couldn't help but take a look down, a small smile forming on her lips, at the slight bulge that was still slightly present, her eyes traveled up to his, and she almost laughed at the evil glare he gave her. Cece and Joshua came in a couple seconds later, and Mole shut the door behind them. 

"Okay, what's going on?" Alec asked Dix.

"News reports have just come in, that they have captured a group of about eight transgenics. Some X5's, 6's and 7's, as well as a couple non humans. They're holding them here." He said indicating a place on the map.

"They know we will be after them," Cece said.

"Agreed," Alec said, then looked up, "We have to assume that every captured group of transgenics is a set-up. Otherwise, they would have killed them first without thought. They want us to come to them, to rescue our own, and they know we will. But what they don't know, is how or when we are going to do it."

"Keep them on their toes." Biggs said nodding. 

"Exactly." Alec said, as he looked back at the maps.

Max watched, looking at the information, as they all discussed what they knew about the area, and how many guards they might expect. 

After a few minutes, Alec looked up, "Okay, here's the plan. Four groups, five men each. We hit from all sides, we hit hard, fast. In and out. Dix, Luke, Joshua, you will stay here and coordinate everyone, and get last minute information. Cece, I need you to get medical teams ready for casualties." She nodded. "Okay, Mole, Biggs, Max, and Me will be team leaders..."

"Shouldn't you stay here?" Max asked, a sudden panic washing through her.

She saw him look up at her, and the others look back and forth between the two of them. His face instantly became emotionless, "Joshua, Luke and Dix are here." He said turning back to the maps, "Now, Mole..."

"But, shouldn't you stay here and command the whole thing?" She asked again. She watched him straighten his shoulders, and could feel everyone's eyes back on her, but she stood up straight, not looking at them. 

"They can handle it. I want to be out there, on the scene, if anything goes sideways. Now, as I was SAYING," he said loudly, glaring at her. "Mole, move in from the North, Biggs... South, I'll take the East, Max you have the west, do you think YOU can HANDLE that?" He asked her. She squared her shoulders, and nodded yes. "Good. We're moving out in two hours. Mole, get the groups organized. Dix, Luke, make sure our information is as up to date as possible."

They nodded at him, "Let's get to work." He said, motioning everyone out of the room. She sighed, and started to walk for the door, but his hand reached out for her, "Not so fast." He said spinning her around to him, and shutting the door behind Joshua.  
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He was angry, actually damn well pissed off. Alec looked down at her, "How dare you question me like that in front of them!" he yelled at her.

"Excuse me?"

"Don't even. You questioned my orders, TWICE!"

"Well, I don't think it's wise for you to go, you should be here, in charge."

His hand dropped from her arm, and his fists clenched, the knuckles turning white. "It doesn't matter what you THINK."

Her mouth feel open, "Excuse me? I can't tell you what I think anymore?"

He could feel his temper rising, "If you don't like what I'm doing, or something, you tell me privately. You tell me some other way. Not in front of everyone. It comprises me. It compromises the command."

"So, I'm not supposed to say anything? Just let you go off and get yourself killed?"

He knew exactly where this was coming from, there was two issues going on here, and he didn't want to deal with either of them. "Max, listen to me. I know you hate the idea of me being in danger. I hate putting you in it as well. Do you really think I like the idea of you being a team leader? Of putting you out there? No! I can't stand the idea, but it's the only way. It has to be done. And your fears, my fears, they can't enter into this equation." he said motioning to the room, his meaning of TC, and the war in general.

"But White..."

"Yeah, White might be there. So what? I actually would like to have a few words with him." He said, his jaw clenching. "I can handle myself Max, okay?" He saw her small nod. "Okay." He said, then continued back to the other topic again. "But, you can't do that anymore, you can't question me like that. You are the one that wanted me to do this, are you now telling me that you don't think I'm capable of it?"

Her eyes widened. "No, not at all."

"Then don't question me. Because next time, next time, I will have to do something about it. Otherwise," he sighed, "Otherwise, and you can be mad and take this however you want, they will think I don't have control over you. That you, the commanders woman so to speak, has control over him. I can't let that happen."

"Commanders woman?" She yelled back at him, and he could see the fire in her eyes, and sighed, knowing she would get like this.

"Max, they have to know that I think with my brain, the one up here," he said pointing to his head, "And not the one between my legs." He caught the small grin on her mouth for an instant, which she tried to get rid of.

"So, exactly what are you going to do to me, if I do question your orders again?"

He took a step towards her, his gaze intent, "Have to punish you in some way, maybe starting with a verbal stripping down."

"Strip down, huh?" She asked, backing up her hands moving to the zipper of her pants, pulling them down her legs, he kept walking towards her, noticing she had left her underwear in their bedroom as well. "What else?" she asked.

"Maybe, some imprisonment." He said, his body pushing her against the wall, his hands on her hips, lifting her from the floor.

"What, if I'm still bad?" She asked him, her sweet breath on his face, her eyes dancing back at his, her fingers fumbling with his pants, pulling them down, pooling at his feet..

"Might have to give you a severe pounding." He said, pushing his erection against her stomach, her legs moving around him, their eyes locked. 

She licked her lips, her arms moving around his shoulders, "Maybe, I need that punishment now." 

And with that he moved his hips, and thrust up into her hard, and fast, pinning her back against the wall. She let out a grunt at the force, as their mouths came together in a fiery kiss.   
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Her head rocked back and forth against the wall, as he moved in and out of her body, each thrust of his hips, harder and faster than the last. Her hands gripped at his shoulders, as she tried to hold on. Her eyes caught his, caught his intense gaze at her, the passion burring in them. Then her eyes closed as he moved his mouth to her neck, his lips and tongue on her skin. 

His body pounding into her, pounding her against the wall, his hard length pushing into her again and again, over and over. His hands at her hips, pulling her onto him, her legs tightening around him, trying to pull him deeper, even though it was impossible. As his hard, deep strokes moved into her, the tip of him, slamming into the back of her, bottoming out inside of her again, and again. 

His face, his mouth moved to the other side of her neck, his teeth grazing the skin. Her legs were shaking around him, her body tense, and she knew she was on the edge, knew she was about to fall. His body responding to her, moving faster, harder into her, pushing her harder against the wall. Her body quivering at each stroke, his teeth bit down at her neck, and she lost it, she fell over the edge.  
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He felt her inner muscles start to strangle him, and his mouth moved to hers, containing her scream, as she clamped down hard on him, and he continued to move. Forcing his way back inside of her again and again. The pleasure so intense, he didn't want it end. 

His hands continued to pull her down, as he pushed up into her, thrust after trust. He broke the kiss, moving his mouth back to the bite, his tongue swirling around it, tasting the small amount of blood, his own voice turning into a low growl, and he felt her shudder against him. 

Her hands moved into his hair, forcing his mouth back to hers, her inner muscles having calmed, but she broke the kiss in a gasp, as he moved in another long, hard stroke into her. "Alec..." She moaned her head lulling back and forth again, as he moved his hips up against her again and again.

She moaned into his ear, her hands moving back to his shoulders, her nails gripping onto him, as his body moved faster, his body tensing, his hips starting to blur as they moved hard into her, and then he felt it again, stronger, harder. Her body squeezing, clamping tight around him. His mouth claimed hers again, as her thrust into her a few more times, and then he was gone, his body jerking against hers, his seed exploding into her, his hips still pumping into her, as wave after wave of hot pleasure passed through him. Her nails running down his back, her legs gripping him tightly.

Their mouths parted, as they tried to regain their breath. They rested their foreheads together, waiting for their heart rates to return to normal. After a little bit, she spoke, "You know, if you don't want me to question your orders, you are going to have to come up with another form of punishment."

He smiled at her, "Why is that?"

"Because, otherwise, I might question you all the time." She said with a wicked grin.

His hazel eyes sparkled back at her, "I'll have to think about it." He sighed, "We have to get out of here." He said and groaned, pulling away from her. His hands slowly raised her off him, both groaning again. Her legs moved off him , and he set her on the floor. 

Alec pulled up his pants, fastening them, as she put her hers back on as well. His hand reached out, running his fingers through her hair, straightening it, then he leaned in for a soft kiss. They walked to the door, he opened it, she walked out and he followed. 

"So, the two of you straighten everything out?" Biggs asked them.

"Yep." Alec replied. 

Max sighed, "Yep, verbally stripped and punished." She said.

Cece grinned at Biggs then the two of them. "Geez, I wish I could get punished, if it left a smile on my face that big."

Biggs and Cece fell against each other in laughter, "Okay you two, get out of here. Don't you have stuff to get ready for?" Alec asked them.

"Yeah, right, we do." They said, both heading out the door quickly, still slightly laughing.

Alec shook his head, "See, I get no respect."

Max smiled, "Awh, poor baby. Come on," she said pointing to the door, "We have work to do too." She said, reaching for his hand, and dragging him out the door. He sighed as he followed her, she was right. They had to get everything ready for the rescue mission, he just hoped everything would go as planned.


	41. Chapter 41

The four teams were all set, and they were heading out in twenty minutes. Alec leaned against the wall, looking up at the sky, watching the meteors, tons of shooting stars filling over the night sky. It was a beautiful sight, but it worried him, the extra light in the night sky would make it just a little bit harder to sneak into the building for their rescue mission. 

But that didn't change his plans any, he just tried to think about it as any other night with a full moon. But there was just something about them, as he looked up at them, some reason he couldn't take his eyes off them. His blood was pumping, charged, and he put it off to the mission coming up. 

He knew she she was there even before she came into sight, she moved herself against his side, and he wrapped his arms around her, holding her close. She looked up at the sky as well, "Beautiful night." She said, and he smiled.

"Yeah it is. To bad we have to go do this, instead of staying out here." Her hand laid on his chest, and his other hand reached for it, holding hers. He looked down at her, and found her brown eyes staring back at him. He leaned down and kissed her softly, "I love you Max." He said, for some strange reason, feeling the need to tell her that. 

"Alec, I love you too." She said, kissing him again, and then laying her head against his shoulder. They held onto each other, looking up at the sky. He watched the beams of light falling towards the earth, and wondered, if he, if they would feel like this before every big mission. That worry that it could be the last time that you get to touch that person, see that person, tell that person how you feel. His arm pulled her a little closer, and he closed his eyes, realizing that in a way, he hoped to have this moment, many, many times. 

His attention turned, hearing the sounds of everyone loading up into the vans, he looked down at her, kissed her again, and they broke apart, walking over to everyone else. He straightened his shoulders, "Okay, everyone ready? Everyone understand their orders?" He asked, and everyone nodded or agreed. "Good, let's head out!" He said.

He caught Max's eye, and they looked at each other for a moment. "Be careful." They both said at the same time, a smile forming on their lips. "Always." They both said again, their hands gripping for a moment, before they slowly let go. He watched her turn away and get into her van, and then he went to his. He got into the passenger side, and turned to the X5 next to him, then looked at the three in the back, "Ready?" They nodded, and he pointed to the exit, "Let's go."  
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Max laid on the ground, with the rest of her team, her eyes scanning the building, and looking at her watch. *Two minutes,* she thought. They were to all go in at the same time. She looked at the others next to her, each gripping their weapons, ready for battle, and then she realized she was too. She sighed, looking down at the gun in her hands. She hated it, hated the idea of it, but things had changed, she was fighting for her own kind, not just some stupid cause.

She looked at her watch, and motioned to the others. *Five... four... three... two...*  
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*One!* He thought, and him and his group sprang to their feet, and ran towards the building, their bodies a blur down the field, over the fence, and to the wall. He watched one of his men, place the explosives, as they moved to their entry point. Swift jabs with the ends of their machine guns and the windows were broken, and they were inside, moving towards where the hostages were supposed to be.

He could feel his blood pumping in his ears, his muscles tensing, as they made their way to the room, guns ready, drawn for the slightest movement. Alec motioned quickly, hearing a small noise, and everyone halted. He heard the noise stop, then saw a small light flicker three times, and he smiled. His man to left did the same, and they joined Moles group. 

The two men looked at each other with a nod, and lead the others to the room. Alec kicked open the door, and half of the team charged in, just as another half charged in from the other side of the room. Max and him rushed over to the cell doors, trying to open them. Alec signaled for his explosive's expert, and soon the soldiers were crouched behind furniture, as the locks exploded, and the hostages rushed out. 

He knew that they were definitely now discovered, "Out!" he called, and directed half of the hostages to Max and Bigg's team, and the other half to his and Moles. They were back in the hallway, when they heard gunfire. He turned to see guards running towards them. His gun ready, he let out shots, firing back, as their team ran towards the exits. Each breaking off where they had met, thus breaking up the guards as well.

His team fired back, and he watched as some of the guards fell. They got to the windows, and the solider beside him fell to the floor. Alec fired back, hitting the guard that had fired, and quickly picked the young X up, swing him over his shoulder as he jumped out the window, hitting the ground, and running towards the fence. The hostages and two of his men jumped over, while him and another, swung the wounded man up and over the fence to the other two. Then they jumped over it themselves. 

They hurried back to the van, dragging the wounded into the back, as everyone piled in. The solider next to him, looked at Alec, and he pointed to go. He looked over his shoulder as the van started the drive back to TC. "How is he?" He asked them.

"He'll be okay, doesn't seem to have hit anything major." 

He nodded, with a sigh of relief, then he picked up the radio, and called back into base. "Base, Alpha team, in route."

"Copy Alpha," came Dix's voice.

"How are Beta, Delta, and Gamma?"

"All have reported, all in route."

"Copy, over." He said, breathing a sigh of relief, it was over, and basically everyone was okay. But it worried him, it was almost, to easy.  
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Max paced back and forth in front of the van, she knew that Alec had reported in, but he had been the last group to do so. *What happened?* She asked herself. She had actually thought that their group would have been the last to report, because one of her men had been shot in the leg and it had slowed them down just a bit. *It was him on the radio. Remember that.* She told herself, so that she knew he was okay.

She stopped as she saw the van pull up next to the other one. She watched Alec get out of the van, she moved quickly towards him, her heart stopping at seeing all the blood over his shoulder, her heart racing. As she got closer he waved her off, and walked towards the back, opening the door.

*What the hell is he doing, he should be going to see the doctors.* She thought rushing over to him, and then she saw him, helping another person pull out one of his men. The X had been shot in the right side, and then she knew why Alec was covered in blood. She backed up, and moved towards the doors, opening them, so they could carry him into the infirmary.

Max followed them in, and was relieved to see that only three people had been hurt, and from what everyone was saying, they would all be fine. She walked over to Alec, reaching out for his hand, and he took it. "Was going to ask you what took so long, but I guess I figured it out." She told him and he nodded.

She followed his line of sight, he was watching Cece and another person working on his man, she leaned against his clean side, wrapping her arms around him, and his arm came around her. She felt his hands go into her hair, and she looked up at him to catch his eyes. "Hey," she said, "How about we get you cleaned up." She said pointing to his clothes.

"Not right now. I want to make sure that Ned is going to okay." He said, while he absently ran his hand over her back.

She nodded. But she couldn't believe that he knew the mans name, she had never seen Alec talk to him before. In fact he had known the names of everyone there, she only knew the name of one of the people she had lead into the fight. 

She saw him look back down at her, "Can you go find Dix or Luke, they have the list of people and locations that Biggs made up. See if you can find a Ronda and a Herb, both X6's. I think Ned hung out with them." 

Max nodded and smiled up at him, "Sure. I'll let them know he's here."

He gave her a small smile, "Then why don't you get some sleep, it's pretty late... well early." She was about to ask about him, and it was as if he read her thoughts, "I'll be in as soon as I can." She nodded and leaned up and gave him a quick kiss, and headed out the door to go find Dix.  
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Alec felt his body shaking slightly, then a little harder, and he opened his eyes, they widened slightly at the sight. Then closed again, waving the hands away, "Joshua, what the?"

"Hey, Medium fella, wake up. It's morning, you feel asleep."

He looked around, and noticed he did fall asleep on the couch, in the middle of headquarters, papers and reports over his lap, the couch, and some now on the floor. *I must have been really tired.* He thought, and knew it was the case, he hadn't been sleeping good the past few days, and the mission last night was more than likely the final straw. 

He didn't notice to many people around though, that's probably why he was still asleep. The few that were there, Joshua, Dix, and Luke had probably kept quiet letting him sleep. He smiled slightly, sitting up, and rolling his neck, trying to get the kinks out of it. "Thanks." He said, patting Joshua on the back. They both gathered up the papers, and moved them back to the table.

Biggs and Cece came in the door a few minutes later, and he looked at them. *They seem rather... friendly.* He thought watching the banter and teasing between them. Oh, he knew nothing was going on between the two... yet. And both of them would laugh and deny anything at all, but he was just waiting. *I wonder if Max and I were that obvious?* He thought to himself, but laughed it off turning to the two.

He looked at his watch, *Five minutes till morning meeting.* He thought, then looking down at himself. Luckily he had changed clothes after his shower last night, otherwise he would still have been wearing the blood soaked shirt from the night before. 

Alec looked at the reports in front of him, and then he shook his head, the hairs on the back of his neck sticking up. His body tensing slightly. He turned, and caught Biggs eyes, and realized he wasn't the only one that sensed something strange was going on. He turned more, and then it hit him as he saw Max walking up the stairs towards them.

His blood started pumping, and he swallowed the lump in his throat as he looked at her, his gaze shifted towards Biggs, and he saw the same reaction. *Damn it!* He thought. "Max... walk back down the stairs now!" He yelled at her, walking towards them as well, Biggs, Cece and Joshua following him, Luke and Dix looking at all of them wondering what the heck was going on.

Max's eyes went wide at his words, she stopped a few steps up the stairs, and started to back down, "Why?" She asked.

"What..." He could barely think straight, "What the hell do you think you are doing?" She looked at him confused. "Why didn't you tell me?" He asked her again.

"Tell you what?" She asked.

"Little fella's in heat." Joshua said behind him.

"No I'm not." She said, looking at everyone as she backed into the middle of the room, the group walking towards her. "I've still got like two weeks." She said.

Alec shook his head, trying to calm himself down, "Well, it's come early." He said, grabbing her wrist, "We have to get you out of here, now." He said, pulling her to the door.

"Not so fast," came a reply, and hand on his shoulder. Alec turned around quickly, finding Biggs. "She's not going anywhere."

He saw the look in his friends eyes, and knew his own eyes had the same look. His body turned, and he put himself between Max and the other man, who at this moment, was no longer his friend, he was another male, another male about to challenge him for his... mate.

Alec tried to clear his head, trying to rationalize his thoughts, but the pheromones were slowly clogging his brain. "Back off." He told the other man.

Biggs shook his head, "No way." The gleam in his eyes, told Alec that he wasn't going to take no as an answer. His heart rate was moving faster, he could feel the adrenaline pumping through his veins. He saw everyone stand around them, not sure what to do, as they watched the two men start to circle one another. 

He saw his eyes dart over towards Max, and he reacted slamming his body into him, both falling to the floor. Fists flying at each other, connecting. A fist made contact with Alec's jaw, pushing him back, both men jumping to their feet. Legs kicking, and blocking. Fists punching, arms deflecting. 

"I'll win, I'm not out of practice like you are." Biggs told him, his words stinging. Deep down, somewhere in the back of his mind, he knew the other man didn't mean them, but it didn't matter. "Besides, I'd think she'd want some one in peak condition."

Alec growled and, his fist hit him in side of the head, and then gave him a round kick to the side, making him stagger back slightly. Only to come back at him, with a hard, swift punch to the stomach, and an upper cut to the jaw. "Heck, why fight, she might go for both of us."

The anger fueled him, "She's MY mate." Alec growled at the other man, throwing himself at him, tackling him back to the floor, his fists pounding down into him. Then he felt hands on him, pulling him back, he spun to his feet, ready to attack, stopping instantly at the deep, dark eyes that starred back at him, he turned around ready to attack again.

Joshua and Cece were restraining Biggs, as he kicked out, struggling against them. Alec started to lunge back for him, but Max's arms pulled him back. "Stop, please." He heard her voice, and he spit out the blood that was in his mouth. His mind trying to take control of his emotions, his body, but it was nearly impossible.

He grabbed onto her hand, grabbed his phone from the table, and started walking to the door, pulling her with him. He gave a evil glare towards Biggs who was still struggling against his captors hold, he looked over at Dix. "Call, only if an emergency." He told him, and walked out the door with her.

"Alec?" He heard the question, but didn't respond as he kept walking, pulling her with him. His eyes moving continuously, looking out for anyone that was around. He pulled a little harder, running towards the garage. "Alec?!" He heard again, still not answering as they made their way to her motorcycle.

"Get on." He told her after he did. 

"No!" She told him, and he looked up at her. "What are we doing?"

"We are getting out of TC, now get on!" She still stood there, and he caught movement out of the corner of his eyes, three men walking towards them. "NOW!" He growled back at her, and with that she finally slid behind him, wrapping her arms around him, and he was off, at a high speed towards the exit. 

He felt her hands start to move over his chest, and her body slide closer to his back, and he knew that she was now feeling the affects of her Heat as well. The motorcycle moved faster as it got out into the city, "Where are we going?" her voice purred into his ear, and his pants felt much tighter instantly. 

"Back to the house." He told her, honestly it was the only place he could think of, he just hoped he could get there soon. Because the smell of her was clouding his senses, and it was making it difficult to drive. Her hands moving down his front, and moving over his thighs weren't helping either. 

Soon they found themselves pulling up to the house, he pulled right into the yarn, moving to the steps. He turned it off, stood, and pulled her to him. His mouth claiming hers hard, his tongue moving in, tasting her, making him drown even more in the essence of her that surrounded him. His arms pulled her up, and her legs wrapped around him, as he climbed the steps of the house, barging his way through the door, kicking it closed behind him. 

Her hands hand already removed her shirt, and were pulling off her tank, as he walked through the hallway. Her hands moved to his shirt, and wasting no time, ripped it from his chest, the torn material falling to the floor. He kicked off his shoes at the threshold of the living room, feeling her do so around him as well, hearing them hit the floor. 

Her mouth claimed his, her hands roamed over his back, and her hips ground against him. He groaned into her mouth. With that he pried her legs from him, dropping her feet to the floor, his hands moving to her pants, hers doing the same to his, all the material finding it's way down their legs, leaving them naked, her body moving against his, her arms wrapping around his neck, bringing his mouth back down to hers, her body moving against his hard erection.

That was it, they weren't going to get any farther, and he pulled her down to the floor, pushing her onto her back with his body, her legs opening, and without a second thought, he pushed himself into her, his hands moving to her legs, pushing them up, her knees going over his shoulders and he leaned over her, pushing himself into her, as deep as possible. Hearing her groan, he withdrew almost completely, then thrust back fast, hard into her. 

His hands reached under her, gripping her shoulders for leverage, as he plunged back inside. His hips thrusting into her, again and again. Her sounds, her moans, ringing in his ear. Her nails running over the skin of his back, spurring him on. The smell of sex, the smell of her pheromones becoming thick in the air. His eyes staring down into hers, seeing the fire and lightning staring back at him. 

He felt her spasm around him, heard her scream, and pushed her through her orgasm. His hips moving harder, and faster. His shaft plowing into her hot, wet depths, over and over. His body tensing, as he kept going, moving higher and higher. Her hands holding tightly to him, her mouth open, eyes closed, head moving at each stroke. 

His face moved into her neck, tasting her skin, making him growl into her ear, his teeth grazing the skin, the bite mark from the night before still slightly visible, making him growl again into her ear, feeling her shudder against him. His hips continued to pump into her, quicker, harder, trying to get as deep, as far into her as possible, over and over. 

His teeth grazed her skin again, and he felt her inner muscles start to clasp around him, and he bit down hard, marking her, as his body was claiming her as his. Her muscles clamped down hard in response, her mouth screaming out his name, and various unintelligible things. He thrust into her again, and again, closing his eyes tight, his hands grabbing her shoulders, as he pushed into her, and then he was gone. His body erupting, mind exploding into millions of pieces, as his body jerked against her, into her. 

Alec felt her shuddering beneath him as he opened his eyes, his head leaning down, kissing her softly, his hand moving to the side of her face, caressing her cheek. He pulled away slightly, allowing her legs to move from his shoulders, down to his sides. Her hands wrapped around his back, then moved up his neck into his hair, pulling him into a deeper kiss. 

Her tongue entered his mouth, and he groaned, as her legs moved around his waist once again. His body reacted to her, and he moved his hips again, and she purred into the kiss. Her pheromones still plaguing his mind, reaching out to his body, and he moved his hips again, his still hard erection moving into her again. 

He felt her shift her hips, and push. He rolled with her, as she rolled them over, settling herself back onto him, taking him deep, he groaned, shutting his eyes, his hands going to her hips as she sat up, starting to move over him. *Oh boy, here we go,* he vaguely thought, as she continued to move on him, again and again, his hips moving up into her, his hands pulling her down on him. Over and over and over...


	42. Chapter 42

*Ohhh...* Thrust. *Myyy..* Thrust. *Goddddd...* Thrust. "Alecccc..." Her nails gripping at his back, her eyes closed, his mouth on hers, his tongue mimicking his actions below. Her mind unable to processes anything else, but the pleasure his movements made. *Ohhh...* Thrust. *Yes..* Thrust. *Ohhh.* Thrust. *Almost..* Thrust. *Almosttt...* Thrust. Pound. *Oh... ohhh...* Thrust, thrust, thrust. "Ahhhhhhhh..." Contraction. Thrust. Contraction. Thrust. Contraction. Thrust....

"Maxxxxxx."

Pleasure. Hot, blinding pleasure. Thrust. Deep, hard, pulsing, exploding. Warmth. Hands grasping, holding. Hot breath, shaking limbs. Blood racing, bodies quivering. Lips parting, tongues tasting. Groan.

"Max, you're going to kill us both."

Then she giggled, actually giggled, the euphoria still running through her body. Her eyes opening to find his sparkling hazel ones looking down at her. "Do you think we can actually make it to the bed?"

"Well, I hope so. Unless, the floor, the couch, the foyer, the hallway wall, and now here just at the foot of the bed, hasn't been enough for you yet," he said with a wink.

"Never enough," she told him. Bringing him down for another kiss.

He broke away, pulling his body from her, and stood up. "Never huh? Does that mean I'm stuck with you forever?" He asked pulling her to her feet, then sitting down on the bed.

Her mouth mirrored the smile on his, "Stuck with me?" She asked moving over to him, her hand pushing him back onto the bed, her body then crawling over him. "I seem to remember YOU calling ME your 'mate'." She expected a smug, cocky reply, but didn't get one.

Instead his hand went into her hair, pushing her head down to him, their lips almost touching. His deep voice sent shivers though her body. "You are." His tongue darted out, licking her bottom lip, his other hand at the small of her back, pushing her down to him. "I'm yours."

The intensity of his gaze, the primal, animalistic look in his eyes, made her body shudder. His hand pulled her in for another deep kiss, then moved down her body with his other one to her hips. Max gasped as they pushed her up and backwards, her body once again enveloping his firm, hard length. 

At that movement, and countless times since they had made it into the house, she had actually praised Manticore and it's genetic engineering. Both for the stamina and strength they had given them, and the wonderful effect her pheromones were producing. 

But again those thoughts quickly left her brain, as the pleasure of his and her own movements were going through her. Her body sat up, her knees moving up and under her, giving her leverage to move, up and off him, and then plunge back down, his hands helping to guide her movements. 

She caught his eyes staring up at her, and she held his gaze as she continued to move. Her hands gripping his upper arms, balancing herself, her fingers feeling the strong muscle under the soft skin. His hips moved up into hers as she moved down, in a counter rhythm, the pace quickening. 

Max broke his gaze, her head going back, as the intensity was getting to be to much. She felt him sit up, his mouth moving to her neck, his tongue circling around the bite mark there, making her moan. His lips traveling over her throat, his teeth scrapping lightly sending shivers through her, as her body continued to ride him, up, down, up, down.

Her body was starting to tremble, she was so close, she moved up, and his arms held her tightly to him, the tip of his erection just barely inside of her, his mouth going to her breasts. She struggled against him, frantic for completion, his mouth finding and sucking on one hard nipple, making her groan out, her head falling back, her hips trying desperately to move back down on him. 

"Alecc...." she groaned at him, as his mouth moved to the other side, as if he didn't hear her. Her body now screaming at her, "Pleaseeeee." She begged, and got a bite to the peak in his mouth in response. Her hands moving to his shoulders, his arms, trying to release herself from his torturous, teasing hold.

But instead, in a flash, she found herself on her back, her arms over her head, held securely with one of his hands. His other hand on her other breast, as his mouth continued to suckle the other one. She moaned out his name again, her hips moving up against him, trying to take him fully back inside. His body moved with her, teasing her more, then only to plunge back inside, making her gasp, then withdraw almost fully again. 

His mouth traveled back up her neck, then his eyes were looking back into hers, they were wild, yet sparkling with slight amusement. He was torturing her deliberately, but she was too frustrated to care, as her hips tried bucking up at him again. She struggled against him, watching the animal in his eyes grow as she did so. 

"Damn it, Alec..." she yelled at him. Her body tense, and shaking with need. "Fuck me!" And she saw the animal snap in those hazel pools, her eyes closing her mouth opening in a silent scream as he plowed into her. His hips not stopping, as he moved back out, then plunged back in quick and hard. Then again, faster, and again, harder, and again. His hand moving one of her legs up to her chest, allowing him to go deeper, further, harder. Pounding her body into the mattress, over and over again.

Max screamed as her orgasm claimed her, her muscles clamping tightly around him, again and again, as he plowed through them, time and time again. Her mind traveling with the waves that engulfed her, her body falling from one peak, only to rise again, higher, over and over. 

His hand under her, gripping her shoulder hard, her foggy mind knowing she would have finger shaped bruises, but she didn't care, her body shuddering again under him. His thrusts moving so fast, so quick she almost couldn't tell if he was ever truly pulling out of her.

She was climbing higher once again. His body slamming into hers. The groan of her name at her ear. The jerking, grinding of his hips into her, and she broke again, this time falling, falling, falling, her mind exploding. Bright white light, complete relaxation, exhaustion.... darkness.  
___________________________________

He slowly woke up, his eyes opening, finding his face pressed into her neck, his hand still holding onto her wrists. His other one at her shoulder, her legs still wrapped around him, their bodies joined. He had no clue how long they had been asleep, but he could tell from the window that the sun was starting to come up. 

Alec let go of her wrists, moving her arms back down to her sides gently. His arm moving backwards over him, to move her legs down from around him. His arms went around her, and he slowly rolled onto his back, bringing her with him. She moaned against him as he slipped out of her from the movement, and he grinned at the displeased look on her sleeping face. 

That cocky part of himself very happy that he had actually worn her out, worn her out while she was in heat. His hands felt her skin, his nose nuzzling the top of her head, smelling her, knowing that she was still in heat. He knew his body was exhausted, but for some reason he didn't feel like it. 

Well, actually, he knew the reason. *Pheromones.* He thought, as his fingers traveled over the soft skin of her back, in gentle, soft circles. He looked down at her peaceful face, and watched as her eyes started to flutter open. He smiled at her, "Good morning."

She yawned, and stretched next to him, just like a cat. Her hand then coming up to rest on his chest, her face pressing into him, and he could catch her smelling him, then looking back up at him. He caught the desire there in her eyes, but not to the level where she was going to attack him, *Not just yet, anyway.*

"Morning," She replied, moving up, to rest her elbow on him, and leaning her head against her hand, looking down at him. His hand came up, to run through her hair, his fingers traveling through it, straightening it. His other moving to finger the ruby heart that dangled from the gold chain around her neck. "Alec?" she asked.

"Yeah?" he said looking back up into her eyes. 

He saw her pause, a small, concerned look on her face, then shook her head. "Nothing, never mind."

He shook his head back at her, "No, it's not nothing. What were you going to say?" 

She sighed, "It... it's just bothering me."

He was confused, a million different things going through his head. "What's bothering you exactly?"

"Why I'm almost two weeks early." 

He nodded, finally understanding what she was talking about. Truth be told, he was wondering the same thing. "Well, there could be a ton of different reasons."

"Well, you had the Manticore sex ed classes, did they ever say anything?"

He laughed slightly, "No, they didn't. But, I mean, we are mostly human right?" She nodded. "And from what I've gathered about human females..." He trailed off, not exactly comfortable with where the topic was going. 

"What? Did I actually find a topic that Alec is shy about?"

"No!" He said, a little to quickly. "Anyway, as I was saying, there could be lots of reasons... one, stress. I mean, with everything going on."

She shook her head at him, "Stress? Now? I was under a heck of a lot more stress last time," she said diverting her eyes, "and that was right on time." 

He heard the sigh, and titled her head back up to look at him. "Max, stop. Please. Move on, I have." His hand caressed her check softly. "I'm just glad this time, I can show you exactly how your pheromones can affect me," he said with a wink.

"Oh, trust me, I know. And I like." He smiled at her, but she sighed, "But it still worries me."

He rubbed her back, "Don't let it. Like I said, it could be a ton different reasons, or some together. Who knows, I mean, the stupid meteor shower could have been a factor." He said jokingly. She hit his shoulder, and he laughed pulling her down for another kiss, hearing her moan, he rolled her back over. Their bodies soon joining back together in a heated frenzy, both not knowing just how accurate his small joke had been.


	43. Chapter 43

Her hands moved over his thighs, her smooth back leaned against his chest, as his hands moved the hair from the back of her neck, and over her shoulder. His lips moving forward to kiss the back of her neck and shoulder, a small sigh escaping her lips, putting a smile on his face.

"How did we end up in here again?" She asked, her hands swirling around in the water, creating little waves, that moved back against him, hitting his stomach.

Alec actually had to think about that for a second, "Ummm, well." He laughed, and so did she. "I think after one of the little romps we had, you said something about needing a shower."

"Right, I think I remember saying that."

"Then, uhh... we did manage to get in the shower." He said, his mouth traveling up to her ear, lightly biting the lobe, her nails softly raking the skin on his legs that were on either side of her in the tub.

"Barely." He heard her laugh at her own statement, and he had to agree. They had just turned the water on, and were all over each other, they hadn't even waited for the water to warm up. 

*Like I thought about the temperature of the water at that point,* he thought, remembering how hot her skin was next to his, how hot she was inside, while the cold water washed over them. Such a vast contrast, it somehow managed to make the experience even better. "Afterwards, we just ended up here." He answered, even though he couldn't remember how, so much of it was still a blur.

She giggled slightly, making him smile as she turned around, resting her front on the bottom of the tub and his chest, her arms going around him, The slightly cool water splashed around, the temperature of it, slightly helping them think straight, at least for the time being, giving them both a break.

He looked down into her eyes, and saw her thinking. His hand moved to put some hair behind her ear, "Whatcha thinking?"

Her eyes moved to his, "About what happened at headquarters."

"What about it?" He asked, knowing that there was a lot of things that happened there, that he was going to have to deal with later, even though he didn't want to.

"Well, he was just reacting to my pheromones, right?"

*Biggs.* He thought with a sigh, "Yes," he said, but his mind added, *I hope so.*

She nodded, still lost in thought he could tell. "Maybe I can get Joshua to give me a heads up next time, so I can... well... not be around." 

Alec smiled, "That actually may be a good idea." Then he laughed, "A new job for Josh, the Pheromone Alarm." They both laughed, "Well, seriously, not just for you. It is one problem that I hadn't even thought of. We are going to have to put the word out, at least to the female X5's. I mean, at Manticore, we never had to worry about it, they just separated the females from the rest of the group when the time came. But now... it's all up to us."

Max laughed, "Set up a safe house or something." He nodded in agreement. 

"I think I can let you head up that project, just make sure no male X5's are assigned to it." He said with a wink, and she grinned.

"I wonder how everyone is reacting to what happened."

He thought about it for a minute. "Well, thankfully it was pretty early, and not that many people where around. Just the command staff really. So I'm sure they will stay tight liped. If Dix or Luke didn't understand what was happening, I'm sure Josh, Cece or Biggs could explain it to them."

He saw her smile up at him wickedly, as she spoke, "So I guess I didn't mess things up to bad for my commanding officer." He shook his head no. "Darn."

Alec gave her a strange look, "Darn? You wanted too?"

Her grin widened, "Well, I was hoping for another punishment."

He laughed at that, a big deep laugh. Then he looked back down at her, his hands pulling her up his chest, his mouth coming to hers in a deep kiss. Then looking back down at her with a large smile, "God, I love you." He said, kissing her again. He felt her move over him, her legs moving to either side of his, her arms wrapping around his neck, as she straddled his lap. 

He groaned into her mouth, as she pressed herself against his chest, his growing erection pressed between them. His hands went to her hips before she could move them, "Max..." he warned.

"Yes?" She asked, her eyes dark, and he swallowed hard. 

"Let's at least get out of the tub." He felt her hips shift against him, despite his hands trying to hold her still, and he groaned. 

"You know we will never make it back to the bed in time." She said leaning in, her tongue darting out just below his ear, her warm breath over his skin. 

He grinned back at her, "No, but we can try." He said, his foot going out, unplugging the tub, the water starting to drain. He saw the evil look she gave him, her hands pushing his away from her hips as she started to stand up to get out of the tub. His arms reached up for her, one moving around her legs, pulling her closer to him.

"Alec." She said in warning, as she tried to get away, but only a moan followed his name, as his fingers traveled up her inner thigh, and into the wet curls. His finger tips moving over the small bundle of nerves, making her body shudder, her legs shaking. 

He sat up straighter, his arm bringer her closer, his hand moving to bring her one leg over his shoulder. His face moving to her, smelling her arousal, a small growl coming from his throat, his tongue replacing his fingers, as they moved lower, one moving into her. Max's legs started to buckle, and his arm moved around her more, keeping her upright. 

His mouth alternated from soft, teasing licks to fast tongue lashings, with the occasional gentle sucking, the changes happening from her sounds, her bodies reaction. He added another finger inside of her, and her hips bucked at him, as he continued to move them in and out of her, increasing the pace, her moans coming closer and closer together, her legs quivering around him. 

His tongue continued to move, tasting her, making his blood boil, making his fingers move faster into her, her hips jerking in response. He added a third, and she screamed, her body spasming around his digits, his mouth still moving over her, as her legs gave out. His arm pulling her tightly against him, keeping her from falling. His hand slowing, mouth moving away from her, as the contractions slowed. Removing them when they stopped, his mouth leaving soft kisses to her hip and leg, his eyes looking up at her, her eyes still closed.

Alec felt the strength return to her legs slowly, then he caught her eyes open, looking down at him. His arms guided her out of the tub, as he quickly got out, standing up, pulling her to him, his mouth capturing hers. His arms wrapped around her, pulling her with him out of the bathroom, walking backwards.

Her hands traveled over his back as they moved, then snaked their way to his front. Her fingers wrapping around his firm shaft, making him groan into her mouth as she squeezed him. Her body pushed him against the wall in the hallway just opposite the bathroom door, her mouth breaking from his, as she feel to her knees.

"Maxxx" he groaned as her mouth moved over the head, then slowly down his hard length The warm, wet confines making his hips jerk towards her, his hands moving to her head, wrapping in her hair.   
___________________________________

She slowly pulled her mouth from him, her tongue moving out to lick the tip, swirling around the head, then moving back over him, taking him back in. His hands at the back of her head, encouraging her further as she moved back off, then on him, lightly sucking at the tip. Her ears listening for his groans, her hands moving up to grab his hard ass, pulling him closer to her mouth, as she moved faster.

Max continued, taking him all the way in, forcing her throat muscles to relax, her tongue tasting him, his body moving towards her, his hands pulling her closer. Her name being moaned, again and again, causing her to go faster, feeling his muscles starting to tense. She pulled away suddenly, and his eyes popped open quickly. They were dark, and wild.

She gave a wicked smile at him, sprang to her feet and ran down the hallway. She got maybe two feet before she was tackled to the floor, but with enough momentum that she was able to roll them over, jumping back to her feet. She was just at the bedroom door, when both her arms were grabbed from behind, and quickly moved behind her back. One hand holding them there, as her front was shoved up against the wall. 

His other hand moved up between her and the wall, moving over her breast, grasping it, his thumb moving over the nipple, then pinching it slightly, as his body pressed against her. His hard erection like steel against the small of her back. His mouth at her ear, his hot breath cascading over her skin, "Don't think you can get away that fast."

Her body shuddered at his deep voice, as his hand moved from her breast down her body, pushing her legs further apart, parting her, his knees bending behind her. She felt the tip of him brush over her, and then felt his hips slam up into her, shoving her body up the wall, her feet leaving the floor. 

She screamed at the welcomed invasion, as he thrust fully inside of her, pressing her breasts against the wall. Her left cheek rested against the wallpaper, his fingers moving over her clit, as his hips moved in and out of her. His hips thrust her against the wall, pinning her to it, as he continued to move hard inside of her. His mouth at the back of her neck, his teeth grazing the skin, small growls echoing in her ear, as he drove into her over and over.

Her body was on fire, her mind spinning as he continued to plunge himself up into her, his speed and force increasing. She couldn't move, her arms still behind her, her body crushed against the wall, but she didn't care. The sensations moving through her where to much, as she felt him move in and out of her body. 

The small bites to the back of her neck, the wet warmth of his tongue on her skin, his hot breath over her, his fingers moving over her clit, his hard length slamming into her again and again was just too much, and her body exploded around him. Her muscles jerking, coaxing him, clamping around him. Her mind shattering as she felt his hips move up into her forcefully one more time, her ears registering a loud growl, and then her body broke again as his teeth bit down on the tender flesh at the back of her neck. 

Both were quite as they let the pleasure run through them, his body leaning against hers, his face resting at her shoulder. As her brain slowly reconnected with her body she smiled, "See... I told you we wouldn't make it to the bedroom." She heard and felt him laugh.

"We did get to the door way." He said softly, kissing the back of her neck lightly.

She moaned again, then felt him pull out of her, slowly lowering her to her feet, and letting her arms go. Max quickly turned around to him, her hands moving to his arms, as she pulled him into the bedroom, shoving him back on the bed, his eyes widening in shock.

She laughed slightly crawling back over him, "My heat isn't going to last that much longer, might as well use it for all it's worth," she said with a wink. His arms reached for her, pulling her up to him, their mouths meeting again, his body rolling onto her. "Oh, no." She said rolling them back over. "My turn." 

She watched him shake his head, "No, way." He said, his body moving with the momentum, rolling them onto her back, his hips moving, taking her once again.

Her head flung back for an instant, and then she struggled against him, rolling again, getting on top, settling onto him, making him groan, only to smile up at her, as he pulled her body down to his, his hips bucking, quickly finding her self on her back again, a growl coming from her throat. The two continuing their battle for dominance, hips thrusting, growls and moans echoing against the walls, the two tumbling back and forth over the bed. Both rolling off onto the floor, as they continued their heat induced mating frenzy.


	44. Chapter 44

Alec drove the motorcycle through the entrance of Terminal City, heading for the old parking garage, Max's arms around him from behind, her head over his shoulder. Her felt the soft sigh against his neck, "What's wrong?"

"Just a little sad." She said, her arms tightening around him a little more, her face nuzzling into his neck.

"Why?" he asked parking the bike, his legs straightening, feet touching the ground, as he turned in her hold to look back at her.

"Well, we were having so much fun." She said with a large smile, "And now it's back to work."

He smiled and caught her mouth in a kiss, then spoke. "Just cause you're Heat is over, doesn't mean we stop having fun." He winked at her.

"Yeah, but it's not the same." She said as he got off the bike, he pulled her off as well and into his arms. His hands pushing her hair back over her shoulders.

"Max, if it went any longer we would have seriously killed each other."

She laughed, and so did he. Her arms moving up around his neck, "You're right. I have to admit." Then she hit his shoulder.

"Ouch, what was that for?" He said rubbing his shoulder.

"For me having to admit you were right." He rolled his eyes at her, she took his hand and started to move towards headquarters, "Come on Commander, we have to get you back to your troops." He sighed and followed her, a smile on his face as he watched her hips sway back and forth in front of him.

Before they got to the door, he stopped abruptly, and pulled her back to him. He leaned down kissing her hard, his tongue probing her mouth, tasting her once again, hearing her moan slightly he pulled away with a grin on his face. "Okay, lets go." He said, this time pulling her reluctant form through the door after him. His grin getting bigger at hearing her cussing him out under her breath.

His hand left hers as they walked into the main room, seeing people move around. He walked over to Joshua and Dix who were talking near the televisions. "Hey guys."

The two turned and smiled at him, "Alec, you're back." Dix said, his head turning towards Max, "Hey, Max."

"Hi, Dix." She said, Alec tried not to laugh, as a small blush crept across her face.

"What happened while.. uh.. we were gone?" Alec asked the two men.

"We helped out a few transgenics that were running from sector police, and Biggs and Mole are trying to set up an arms shipment." Joshua responded.

Alec nodded, but slightly stiffened at the sound of his friends name. He patted the taller man on the back, "Thanks Josh." Then remembered what him and Max had talked about before. "Oh, Big Fella, I got another job for you. I need you and Max to work on a little project." He turned to her, "Remember what we talked about with the female X5's?" She nodded. "Good, do you think you two can start work on that, the sooner the better."

"Yep, no problem. I'll get Cece to help too." He nodded at her, and the two of them left the room.

He turned back to Dix. "Any new recon?"

"Yeah, some of our scouts have brought back some good intel. We are plugging it into the computers and updating as we speak. Once we get some confirmation on a some things, we might be able to figure out where White's main base of operations is."

"How long before we know for sure, and have enough info to go on this?"

"At the rate it's going, three to five weeks tops. I know it sounds like a lot, but..."

Alec nodded, "We want to be sure it's the right place, and not let them know we are on to them." Dix nodded and smiled back at him. "Good job, keep me posted." He said also patting him on the back, and then he went over to Mole.

The reptilian man looked up at him as he approached, "Well, you're back."

He knew this was going to be interesting, "Didn't think I would leave forever did you?"

The other man took another puff on his cigar, and then he saw something unexpected, a small smile on the man's face. "So, are they as wild as rumored to be?"

Alec almost choked, but hid it well, a large grin then appearing on his face. "Nothing I couldn't handle."

The sound that came from the other man, could almost be considered a laugh as he stood up, and slapped Alec on the back. "Good, now that you're back, you can help Biggs with that arms contact you have. He's been giving us hell."

"I'll get everything taken care of." He told the other guy, and nodded at him as he moved away with a sigh. He knew Biggs had basically taken over for him since he left, he wouldn't have wanted it any different, but he was dreading seeing him. Luke walked by, "Hey, Luke, have you seen Biggs?"

Luke stopped, "Oh, hey, welcome back. Biggs? Uh, yeah. He's in the meeting room, I think."

"Thanks," Alec said, straightening his shoulders and walking towards the door. He opened it, and walked in, shutting the door behind him. The dark haired man looked up from the table at him, and they stared at each other for a minute.

He watched him stand up straight, and take a deep breath. "I didn't mean any of it."

Alec sighed, "Yes you did." he said, and spoke again before he could object, "You may never have said it, but you believed it."

"Maybe, a small part of me. That solider part that is still there, that we can't get rid of."

Alec nodded, he knew what he meant. "But that's not what concerns me." Biggs looked at him again, questioning in his eyes, and Alec decided to just say what was on his mind. "I just need to know if you do have feelings for Max, or if it was just the Heat affecting you."

"I would never go after one of your girls and you know it."

"That's not what I asked." He said, stepping closer to the table.

"I'm not going to deny that she's hot. Cause she is. Heck, all the X5 females are. And do I have feelings for Max?" The dark eyes starred back at him, "Yes... but as friends. That's it. Honest."

Alec nodded, seeing the truth in his voice and eyes. "Okay."

"And I'm apologizing now to you for my behavior, and I will to her when I see her, just like I have been apologizing for it for the last few days." He said with a sigh moving over and sitting down on the couch.

"Well, it's not like any of us had control over what happened. But, who the heck else did you have to apologize too?"

Biggs shook his head, "That's just the thing, I didn't think I would have to either. But, God, that woman! She was so pissy to me, smacked me upside the head, started ranting like you wouldn't believe."

Alec gave him a strange look as he went on, and then the light bulb clicked on, as the guy next to him kept talking and rambling on and on, and he started to laugh. He leaned back onto the couch, putting hand over his face.

"What's so damn funny? I still have a bruise from where she hit me. I'm not kidding, and it's been days, do you realize how hard she had to have hit me?"

"Well, Cece does have a temper. I wonder what all they put into the X5 female's DNA, because I think it's a common trait." He said, getting up and walking towards the door. "Oh, about the arms deal, I'll get it worked out, don't worry about it." Biggs nodded, and Alec opened the door. He leaned against the frame, and looked back with a smile. "You know though, it makes me wonder."

"What does?"

"What Manticore put into our DNA that makes us love them so much." He said his smile getting wider as he walked out the door, leaving a slightly shocked Biggs at his statement.  
___________________________________

The next week and half went pretty smoothly. The arms deal had went off without a hitch after Alec had called up his contacts. Fourteen transgenics were rescued from sector police, and twenty or so that had been captured and then freed from three separate rescue missions.

The 'safe house' had been set up, and already had three guests. Besides one little incident that caused them to move the boarder around the house back another fifty feet, nothing had gone wrong. One level of the parking garage now looked like a huge garage sale as clothes, furniture, and other miscellaneous items from around their city had been collected and organized. Ready to give out, and distribute.

The streets were being cleared of debris, the broken buildings were slowly being fixed, allowing the transgenics to actually feel like they were living in a real city, with real homes. Everyone had a job, everyone had a place. It was like a well oiled machine, like a military base, but... more personal, more real, more relaxed.

He heard her giggle next to him as she tried to pull away, but his arm and the sheet kept her from moving away from him, as his fingers lightly trailed over her shoulders and back. "Aleccc..." she whined.

"Yes, that is what you were screaming last night." He said teasing her with the truth. "Ugh." he responded at the pounding that his shoulder received from his comment. He rolled them over, laying her on her back, "Maybe I can get it out of you again this morning." He said, his eyes shimmering down at her.

He caught her hands in his before she got to hit him again, "You are so violent," he felt her hips move up against him, saw the fire in her eyes, "Especially when you're horny." He said, leaning down and kissing her before she could respond. His lips slowly leaving hers, and trailing down her neck, and over her shoulder, around the necklace, down her breast bone.

"We don't have time..." She moaned at him, her hands moving to his hair. His mind laughing that her hands were pulling him closer, not pushing him away.

He quickly looked at the clock, "We have plenty of time, over an hour." He said licking on hardened nipple. "Maybe to us it'll be a quickie." He said looking up at her with amusement, and watched her roll her eyes, but then gasp as he leaned back down, licking the other nipple, then biting it slightly.

Her fingers went back into his hair, and he started kissing lower, and then he stopped, "What the hell?" he asked looking up at her.

"What?" She said her eyes opening and looking down at him.

"What is this?" He asked pointing at the dark strange markings that started just below her rib cage. She sat up slightly, leaning on her elbows, trying to see them. His fingers reached out to touch them, and two more lines started to show up, he jumped back slightly as if he was burned.

"What the fuck is going on?" She asked, and he could hear the panic in her voice. "What are they?"

"I don't know, but they are the color of our bar codes..." He said moving his fingers slowly back towards her, watching the rows darken across her stomach as three more started to appear. "It looks like some old language or something."

Alec looked up into her eyes, and he could see the fear in her dark eyes. "Alec, what is going on with me? First I'm two weeks early, and now I have these... things... possibly... words.. new tattoos on my body." He looked back down, seeing that now she had eight rows of what looked like some kind of text on on her.

"I'm not sure, but let's find out."

"How?" She asked him.

"Well, I'm assuming that it's something that Manticore or Sandman did. Maybe Dix or Luke can dig up some information on it. If we can at least figure out what language it is, maybe we can read it." She nodded at him, they both got out of bed and got dressed. He reached for her hand, and she took his, as they left and headed to the main room.

They walked up the stairs to find the two guys and Joshua, "Hey guys." Josh said with a smile.

"Hey," Max said giving a small smile.

"Morning everyone," Alec said, then turned to the two at the table. "We need your help with something."

"Sure Alec, what is it?" Dix asked.

He looked back at her, and motioned to her. She sighed, and slowly lifted part of her shirt, and pulled down a few inches of her pants. The other three moved in closer, taking a look at the markings.

"It looks like words." Joshua said.

"Yeah, but what do they say, and why the hell are they on me?" She asked, her voice angry, but he could tell it was from fear and he didn't blame her, heck he was scared too.

"It looks like an ancient branch of Minoan," Luke said.

"Do you know it?" Alec asked him.

"No, but I might be able to decipher it though. It will take some time."

"Where's one of the digital cameras we have for recon?"

"I'll get one," Josh said moving out of the room on Alec's request.

He turned towards her, his thumb moving over the back of her hand in a comforting way. "We'll take a few pictures of it, so that Luke can work on it." She nodded at him, and he turned back to the transgenic. "I know this isn't your stated duty, but I would really like to figure out what is going on with this. It's something to do with Manticore or the Familiars, and we need to know."

Luke nodded his head, "I'll get right on it, I'll go hit the web and see what I can find." he said as he moved off to the computers.

Alec turned to Dix, "While Luke is working on that, we are still going to need intel, so I'll let you decide who you want to pull to work with you and help you."

"Thanks Alec, I have a few people in mind, I'll talk to them, and then let you know." The transgenic moved down the steps, passing my Josh coming back up them holding a camera.

He gave it to Alec, "Thanks Big guy. Can you go help Luke? Tell him everything you know about 'father'."

"Sure." He said, heading over to the computers as well.

Alec turned back to Max, his hand grasping hers lightly, "Lets go into the meeting room, so I can take this picture." She nodded and followed him inside, shutting the door behind him. "Now strip." He said, with a smile, trying to lighten the mood.

"This isn't funny."

"I know," he said as she moved her shirt back up and her pants down lower than she had in the other room. He crouched down in front of her, his fingers traveling over it once more, and then he raised the camera. He took a few pictures, making sure to get all of them. He stood back up, putting the camera on the table, and pulled her back into a hug. "Don't worry, we'll figure this out." He told her as he leaned down and kissed her.


	45. Chapter 45

"Hold still."

"Then stop tickling me!"

"I'm not tickling you!" His fingers pulled more of her shirt out of the way, and moved some of her hair off her back, some still falling back over her skin. He growled in frustration, standing up he moved over to the meeting room door, and locked it.

"What are you doing?" Max asked as he walked back to her.

He sat back down on the couch behind her, "This." He said, his hands going to her shirt, and lifting it and her tank top off her. 

"Hey!"

He leaned in and kissed the side of her neck, "Oh come on. What the hell do you have to be modest about with me?" He felt her giggle. "Besides, now I can actually get these pictures, without... what you call tickling you." He picked up the camera, and started to take pictures of the new symbols that had appeared last night. 

Alec noticed over the last few weeks since they had started to appear, that they did so when he was around, and it unnerved him. At least when they showed up it didn't appear to hurt her, because other wise he wasn't so sure if it would have been good for him to be near her. The 'runes' as Luke had called them, that had first showed up on her were now gone, as well as some of the ones that showed up on her wrists and ankles.

"So how close do you think Luke is to cracking this code?" She asked over her shoulder.

"Not sure, but he does have a few words figured out. Honestly the more of these that show up the better chance he has."

"Yeah, well... I wish they would just go away."

He took another picture of the group by her shoulder blade, then leaned in and place a soft kiss over it. Hearing her sigh, "I know," he said softly. 

Alec moved his attention to the other shoulder, taking a couple more snapshots, his lips then kissing over them again. He could feel the muscles in her back start to relax. He knew she was tense, worried about it all, and he didn't blame her at all, he wished he could make it all go away. 

He got up off the couch, and crouched next to it. His hands moving her slightly, so that he could take the last picture of the small of her back. He then reached backwards, setting the camera on the table behind him. His hand coming back to lightly move over her skin, tracing the lines of text on her. Part of him wondering if they could tell him all the answers to the mysteries of the woman he loved. 

His eyes and hands traveled over her back, looking for anything he may have missed. His hands turning her towards him, his gaze moving over her front, and then looking up into her amused expression. "What?" 

"What are you doing?" 

He gave a small smile, "I was actually looking to make sure I didn't miss any new ones."

"Oh," she said, her voice sounding slightly disappointed.

His mind and body caught that tone and the look in her eyes in an instant, his eyes moving over her naked top, and moving down to her pants, he smiled slightly, "But to be sure, those have to come off too."

"Oh, they do huh?" She asked, and he could see the fire return to her eyes, and the worry and fear leave them. Her mind forgetting about them, and he wanted to help chase it away at least until they knew what they were running from.

His hands moved down with hers to her pants, and he pulled them down her hips and legs as she raised her hips. He tisked at her slightly, waving his finger at her, "No panties Maxie..."

She smiled at him, "Oh, like you mind."

He smiled at that, his hands moving over her thighs, as he rested his knees against the floor, his hands pulling her hips closer to the edge of the couch, his mouth going to hers. Her hands were at the hem of his shirt, and they broke the kiss so she could pull it over his head, her hands moving back over his chest. Nails scratching lightly over his skin, down his abs, to the button on his pants, as their mouths came back together, there tongues tasting each other.

His mouth kissed its way down her throat, and chest, his tongue licking the flesh around the ruby that dangled between her breasts. His lips then latched onto a hard nipple, sucking at it, her mouth letting out small whimpers. Her hands worked down his zipper, her fingers moving into the waistband of them and his boxers, pulling them down to his knees. Her hands moving back up, wrapping around his hardened length.

He groaned against her breast at her touch, his hands moved over her back, holding her, pulling her closer to the edge of the couch. Her legs wrapped around him, her hands guiding him to her, moving the tip against her hot, wet folds. His hips jerked at her, pushing himself halfway inside. Her hips moving in response, taking him the rest of the way, her back arching over the cushions. 

Her legs tightened around him, bringing him deeper, and he thrust his hips into her, slow, steady. Her hands moved to his shoulders, holding her slightly upright, as she leaned back, her hips moving against his. His hands moved to her front, grasping her breasts, his thumbs moving over the hard peaks, as he moved back inside of her, his pace slow, and constant, but powerful. 

Her hands moved behind his neck, her fingers meshing together, holding on to him, her hips bucking at him, her body arching as he continued to move inside of her, again, and again, her hips trying to quicken his pace. His hands moved back to her back, pulling her closer, his mouth moving back to her breasts, her sounds echoing in his ears.

His body started to move faster, responding to movements against him, his hips moving harder, quicker. His arms holding her body to his, his face buried in her chest, his tongue tasting her skin, as he continued to move in and out of her heated depths, again and again. His mind swimming, losing himself in her like he always did. 

Alec could feel her legs quivering around him, felt her muscles tense, his one hand coming up to cup the side of her face, his eyes moving to hers, his lips claiming hers as he felt her muscles clamp down on him, over and over, her body stiffening against his, her body shuddering.

He increased his pace, moving faster into her, holding her tighter, pulling her closer, him deeper into her. His tongue dancing against hers, taking in her taste. His body going wild into her, his body tensing, and with a final thrust he was lost. His groan rumbling against her lips, as his body exploded inside of her, her arms and legs clinging to him tightly.

She collapsed back onto the couch, his chest leaning over her, his arms still holding her. He felt her fingers start to travel through his hair, and he looked up at her. Her dark eyes looking back at him, and he was happy to see the smile on her face. Then he saw her sigh, the worry starting to come back into her eyes, and his arms pulled her back to him. 

He kissed her lightly, and her arms hugged her to him. He pulled away from her mouth, rested his chin over her shoulder, and just held her. After a little bit he felt her shoulders straighten, "Okay, we better get out of here, and get those pictures to Luke." She said pulling away slightly.

"Yeah." His hand came to her chin, turning her to look at him, "Max..." He waited for her eyes to focus on his, "I love you, everything... everything will be okay." He really wanted that to be true.

"I love you too.... but don't promise me that." She said.

She leaned in and kissed him, and then they regretfully pulled apart, and put their clothes back on. Alec unlocked the door, and turned to her, she took his hand, and he smiled at her. He opened the door, and followed her out. 

Alec saw Luke at the computer and gave him the digital camera, telling him of the new pictures. Luke nodded, and started to download them into the computer. He patted the man on the back, and him and Max moved up the stairs.

Biggs and Cece looked up from the table covered with a bunch of maps, large smiles on their faces. "What?" Max asked looking at the two.

"You know.. you two need to be more careful when you have a building full of transgenics with advanced hearing." Biggs said smiling at Alec.

Alec laughed, as they walked over to the other two, stopping on the other side of the table. "Oh really? Well, then I can blame the two of you for the lack of sleep we got last night."

The other two's eyes widened slightly, a blush sweeping over Cece's cheeks, "Ummm, uhh... What do you mean?" She asked not looking at anyone. 

Max laughed next to him, "Oh, don't even try to keep it a secret any longer. We all knew before the two of you did. And after last night..." 

She looked up at Alec and he continued, "It's definitely not a secret any longer. Which reminds me... Biggs..." The man looked up at him, "What exactly did you do to her to get that... oh what type of sound would that be Max?"

Max grinned, "I'm not sure, it was a cross between a terrified scream and a groaning whimper."

Alec nodded his head, "Yep, that would be the one," he said as he watched the reddening faces of his two friends across the table, and him and Max continued to laugh.


	46. Chapter 46

"Thanks Josh for the report, we'll try and get the supplies on the list you gave me." Alec said then turned to Mole, with a nod.

"The arms shipment has all been stocked or handed out. We only have a few more items that we need, as of now. I also have a small list of things the boys need for their 'special' weapons."

Alec smiled, he knew that Mole had some of the tech soldiers working on new types of weapons to surprise the enemy, if the time came. "Good, I'll take the list and add it to the next planned shipment." When Mole indicated he was done, he looked around to see if anyone had anything else to add.

Cece chimed in, "We have the medical supplies stocked, at least for now. The medical lab is up and running, it's not state of the art, but we are working on it. We scavenged some old doctor offices and have fixed most of the equipment. I might have some requests later in time, but for now we are good."

He nodded, "Good. Keep me informed of your progress. Anybody got anything else to add?" He asked looking around, everyone was silent. "Okay then, meeting over."

Max smiled at him, "Well, I've got some stuff to go fence." She said with a grin, "Get some money for all those supplies." 

He nodded at her, "I'll see you later, and be careful." He knew that it was a relatively harmless thing for her to do. But being a transgenic outside of TC wasn't exactly safe anymore.

Max laughed slightly, "Always." She walked towards the stairs, catching up with the blonde, "Hey, Cece. I need to talk to you for a minute..." Alec shook his head, looking away from Max's retreating form, trying to get his head back to what he was supposed to be doing.

"So Luke, before the meeting, we started talking about White's base of operations. How's the intel on that coming?"

"Good, very good." He pointed to the map. "We are now sure this is the place, and we have the basic blueprints. Our scouts have been watching them for a few days. They should be coming back in about five hours."

Alec smiled, "Good, once we know how many troops they have, their stations and movements we will be ready to move in." He couldn't keep the large grin off his face. The idea of taking out White's home base was heaven to him. *Getting White would be even better,* he thought his blood pounding at the thought of revenge.

"Let me know when they get back, I have a score to settle with White." Alec said as he grabbed the reports from the table, and headed into the meeting room, to go over them.  
___________________________________

Max looked over Dix's shoulder, and could feel the warm breath of Alec's looking over hers, as they looked at the computer screen. "Now, I couldn't decipher all of of it. Some of the marks didn't turn out exactly right, so I couldn't tell what they were. But, I can make out the gist of what is being said."

She nodded, listening to him, and tried not to make a rolling motion with her hand to speed him up. She felt Alec's hand settle on her lower back, and knew he was trying to calm her down. "Okay, what does it say?" she asked quickly. His hands started to rub her back, and she knew he was trying to tell her to not push so hard, but she couldn't help it. She had words appearing on her skin for now known reason, and it freaked her out.

"Well the first set," Dix said holding up the picture of her stomach. "Basically calls you 'the messenger'."

Alec nodded behind her, "Makes sense if messages are appearing on her skin."

"Exactly," He held up some more pictures, of her wrists and ankles. "Now these, say that 'the messenger' will be kept safe. By someone or something, I'd assume a protector of some kind. It's not really that specific here."

"Why is it in riddles? I mean, if Sandman did that, why couldn't he just come out and say what he meant?" Alec asked to no one in particular.

Max sighed, she was thinking the same thing. She guessed that nothing in her life was easy, and this was just icing on the cake. "Does it explain exactly who or what is supposed to protect me?"

Dix looked at a few more pictures, "No, at least not so far." He pointed to the picture of her back, "This describes the beginning of a huge, horrible event. Something apocalyptic." He turned to them, "Now, at Manticore we weren't trained in religious things. Heck they discouraged it. But from what I have gathered, it's so huge, something biblically huge."

Max's eyes grew big, "Like what?"

The transgenic showed her a picture of her shoulders, "I would guess something like the Black plague, only world wide." She wobbled slightly on her feet, and felt Alec's hand squeeze her shoulder to support her. Dix held up more pictures, more recent ones that had showed up along her rib cage. "Now these I got a pretty good translation, it says... 'when the shroud of death covers the face of the earth, the one whose power is hidden'... I assume they mean you Max, 'will deliver the helpless.' Now there are some more words after that, but I can't make them out."

Max stiffened at his words, and shook her head lightly to clear it. "What about the more recent ones that showed up."

"I haven't been able to decipher those yet, it's going to take a little longer. I'm still going to try and make out those other words too." He turned towards them, "I'm sorry it's taking so long."

Alec smiled at him, and patted his shoulder, "Hey, don't worry about it. You've done great so far. We really appreciate all the work." He looked at Max, and she nodded.

"Yeah, thanks Dix." 

The transgenic smiled at them, "No problem, it's interesting to say the least." He turned back to the computer, and the couple walked towards the other side of the room.

His hands went to her shoulders and turned her to face him, as he rubbed her arms up and down. "You okay?" 

She looked at him, and shook her head no. How could she be okay? She just found out that some huge, horrible thing was going to happen. And these words on her body was telling her that it was coming, and that she was supposed to do something about it. *How can I do something, if I have no clue what it is?*

He pulled her into his arms, and she rested her head against his chest as his arms went around her, "It's going to be okay." She knew he was just saying that, but with his arms around her, she felt safe, and truly wanted to believe it.  
___________________________________

Everyone was standing around the table looking at the map that was laid out. The scouts had come back an hour ago, and had relayed their information on White's base. They now had everything that they needed to know about the place. The least amount of guards were stationed there in the early morning, and the most were during the night. Alec thought he knew why, *They think if we attack it will be while it's dark.* He had to smile to himself at that, *They don't know Manticore. They don't know we were trained for anything.*

"Okay, we take 2 teams. One to get inside and the other for back up." He turned to Mole, "Get me some of your tech guys, I want that place to tumble to the ground, and everything inside of it." 

The reptilian nodded with a smile, "I got just the guys, I think you will like what they have come up with."

Alec smiled, "Good, get me a team of 6. You and me will head it up and go in." He gave a stern look towards Max as he said this, telling her not to object to him. He noticed her angry look, but she said nothing and he continued. "Max you will head up the other team. I need you to basically give us fire cover if anything happens. You will stay on the outside, and for NO reason are you to go in. We might already have things set to go off." 

He gave her another look, he didn't want her doing something foolish, and he knew she was capable of it. He turned back to Mole, "Get her a team of 9, maybe some good sharp shooters as well." He looked at the rest. "Biggs, I need you stay here and organize things," he said. But the other reason was that, the two had decided that one of them would always remain at headquarters, in case things.. went sideways.

"Cece, as always I need you to get things ready in case of wounded." He looked at Joshua, "Help Dix and Luke with the radios, maps, and anything else they need. Also, I need you to get the two vans ready, and help Mole get them loaded up."

He looked around the table again, "Everyone understand what they are doing?" They all nodded, "Good, we move out tomorrow at 0500. Tell everyone to meet at their assigned van. Oh, and get some sleep people. " He nodded again, and everyone went to get their respective jobs done.

He could feel Max's eyes on him, and heard her walk to him, her arms wrapping around him from behind. He turned in her arms and looked down at her, "I don't want to hear it." He told her, already seeing the look in her eyes.

"I wasn't going to say anything." She said softly, "Even though, I don't like it. I wasn't going to say anything, at least during the meeting." He smiled at her, his hand coming to the side of her face. "But if something goes wrong..."

"If something goes wrong, you head back here, and then Biggs, you and everyone can then figure out what to do. Okay?" He saw her eyes struggling with it. "Promise me Max, right now." He sighed as he watched her, "Promise me, or I will make you stay here and send Joshua in your place."

He caught her eyes shift on that, and knew she hated it when Joshua was out in the field too. "Fine, okay. I promise." He nodded, pulled her into his arms, hugging her as he sighed. He just didn't fully believe her.


	47. Chapter 47

The door to the office opened, and a man walked in. "The scouts have left and returned to Terminal City."

The other man behind the desk smiled, "So they know our troop movements, they know our guard stations and everything." The other nodded. "Good. Have all the files and people been moved?"

"Yes sir, everything will be done within the hour."

"Is everything set for tomorrow morning?"

"Yes sir, everything is set and ready," he said, then paused for a minute.

"What is it Otto?"

"Sir, are you sure that 494 and 452 will actually be here tomorrow?"

White turned in his chair, propping his feet up on the table, "Oh, I'm sure of it. 494 will be leading that attack, I know he wants revenge. And 452 will not be far behind." He smiled at the other man, "You see, they are a package deal. You get one, you get the other."  
___________________________________

Alec slowly opened the door and softly stepped into the room, trying not to make a sound. His eyes could see Max laying on the bed, sound asleep. He could hear her even breathing pattern. And if he concentrated hard enough, he could also hear the rhythmic beating of her heart. He tried to be as quiet as possible as he stripped to his boxers. He stared at the clock. Here she was asleep, someone who didn't need to sleep that much, and here he was awake at two in the morning, when he was the one that needed sleep.

*Well, you can easily function on no sleep,* he told himself, but still. He slowly crawled into bed next to her, and smiled as her body rolled towards his, her arm and leg moving over him, her head resting on his shoulder, as she continued in her slumber. His hands came up into her hair, running through the silk strands. His nose coming to the top of her head, smelling her shampoo and the fragrance that was all her own.

His arm went around her, hugging her to him, as he tried to relax and let sleep claim him. But it just wasn't going to happen. His body was tense, his mind still going over all the reports, and the information on the mission. Something was nagging at him, something was telling him that he missed something, that he wasn't taking something into account. But he couldn't place what it was.

His gut just had a bad feeling about the raid, and his arms pulled her closer. He had almost changed his mind twice that day to make Joshua the leader of the other team. But he knew there were a lot more problems with that. One, Max was the better one to handle it. And two, it didn't look good for him to be protecting his 'girlfriend'. And he knew that was the case, he knew the only reason he would be making her stay at headquarters was to protect her.

"Are you going to lay there all night thinking or are you actually going to get some sleep?" her voice suddenly asked making him jump. She giggled next to him.

"You scared the hell out of me." He said looking down at her, his eyes catching hers with the small amount of light from the clock next to the bed.

"What are you all tense about?" she asked.

"Nothing."

"Don't lie to me."

He sighed, he didn't want to tell her, but she could read him like a book these days. Heck, they had both gotten good at reading each other. "I have a bad feeling about this."

He felt her fingers on his cheek, and then over his forehead, "I know, me too." she said softly. Her lips met his lightly. He could feel in that small kiss, her fears as well.

A sense of dread washed through him, and his arms pulled her tighter against him. "Max..." he said, and had to swallow the lump that formed in his throat, his hand moving to the side of her face. Her dark eyes staring back at him, he finally continued, "I love you, I always will."

"Don't you dare." She said, her voice soft but with force behind them, "Don't you even start thinking..." She trailed off as he watched her eyes close, her lips tremble slightly, and he brought her head down to his, his lips meeting hers. It started off gentle, comforting, but was slowly growing more passionate. He pulled her body onto his, wanting to feel her, needing to feel her.

Her hands moved though his hair, then down his sides, as she pulled back from his mouth, sitting up. Her hands pulling him up as well, then they went to the T-shirt she wore, and lifted it over her head, throwing it to the floor. He could see it in her eyes, there was no question, they needed each other. Her arms went back around him, pressing their bare chests together, her lips back on his. He wrapped his arms around her, laid back down, bringing her with him.

He groaned at the movement of her hips against his growing erection, his hands moving down her bare back. His fingers hooking into the waistband of her panties as they tried to move them down her hips. She pulled away, removing them, and with a lift of his hips, she ridded him of his boxers as well.

His arms pulled her back down to him, her body pressing his hard length between them, their mouths moving together again, their tongues dancing. Their hands moving over each other's warm skin, getting warmer by the second, their hips moving against each other. She shifted her hips again, and he moaned her name.

Max sat up slowly, his hands moving up to her breasts, cupping them lightly. He watched her eyes close, her head tilt back slightly as his thumbs moved over the hard nipples, his fingers squeezing the round flesh. Her fingers moved around him, and his hips jerked up at her in response, their eyes locked as she slowly slid her body down onto him. Their bodies stilling as they let the feeling of them being fully joined wash over them.

Then she began to move her hips, rocking them slowly, his arms moved over her back, and pulled her body back down to him, needing to feel her next to him, his lips claiming hers once more. Her hips continued to move, rocking back and forth, their sounds echoing in each other's mouths from the pleasure being caused from below.

His hips moved up into hers, moving with her, up into her. Both moving a little faster, a little harder. He could feel her starting to tense, he could read it in her sounds, in her movements. His hands traveled down her back, to her hips, moving them, helping her continue the rhythm. She broke the kiss, her body moving back up, her eyes closing and mouth opening as she continued to move her hips on him.

Alec's hands moved back to her breasts, his eyes watching her face, heard her sounds, felt her hips move faster onto him. Feeling her legs shake, her hips moving more frantically on top of him, her breathing becoming faster, his hands traveled back down her sides, settling on her waist, guiding her onto him, again and again.

He felt her muscles clamp down right before she screamed out his name, her head falling back, her back arching, as his hands pulled her down, his hips moving up against her. It was a beautiful sight, a wonderful feeling, as he continued to move. His arms then pulling her back down to him, his body rolling them both over onto her back. Her legs moving around him, his face moving to her neck, his lips kissing the soft skin, as he felt her come down from her high.

His hips starting to move slowly into her once again, her legs gripping to him even more, pulling him deeper. Her arms moved around him, crushing his form to hers, her eyes opening to look up at him. Love and desire mixed with worry stared back at him, as he knew they mirrored his own.

He continued the slow and steady pace into her, wanting to prolong the feeling as long as possible, never wanting it to end. His length slowly plunging into her, feeling her muscles accepting him, hugging him, pulling at him to stay, as his hips in response moved away, pulling from her, only to return again.

Her one hand moved up into his hair, fingers running over his bar code, sending a small shiver through him. Then she pulled him back down to her mouth, tongues tasting. His body moved a little faster of its own accord, seeking the pleasure he knew her body would give him, give each other.

He tried to move deeper, further into her, wanting to merge them together as fully as possible, her hands traveled down his back, then back up, gripping at his shoulders, holding him, her hips moving with his, causing him to go faster. His one hand moved to the side of her face, cupping her check, his eyes focusing onto hers. Her mouth moaning, as he continued to move in and out of her, again and again.

Their bodies responding to each other, her eyes starting to close. "Look at me," his voice came out, deep, raspy. Her eyes staring back it his, widening, struggling at his request. He watched a spark ignite behind them, her mouth opening again, her body arching, her hips bucking up at him, her legs grabbing him, her inner muscles pulling at him. His name on her lips again, as he watched her fall. His body moving against hers, his hips pushing hard into her, as his mind and body exploded with her, his arms moving around her, as their bodies shuddered as one.  
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His eyes looked at the clock, and he tried not to sigh, he didn't want to wake her. He kissed the top of her head, and slowly disentangled himself from her, getting out of bed. He pulled the sheet back over her, and quickly got dressed as quietly as he could. Alec moved back over to the bed, and leaned back over kissing her check softly, and then left the room.

He found Dix and Luke looking over the blueprints, and doing the final touches for the radio set up. "Everything ready to go?"

Luke nodded, "Everything is set. We will have radio contact until you get there, and then radio silence until you are just outside of TC as ordered. We'll let you know if we hear any news up until then."

He nodded, "Good, where's Mole?" Dix indicated the back room. Alec nodded, and walked over there. Once inside he saw the other man pulling out and checking weapons. "Are the supplies set?"

Mole took the cigar out of his mouth, "Ammunition, guns, and our special weapons are all ready."

Alec smiled, "Are the tech guys ready to test out their new explosives?"

"They're itching for the chance."

"Good, make sure they are ready." Alec said following the other man out of the room. Mole nodded as he left headquarters for the parking garage. Alec looked up seeing Biggs come in the door and motioned him to the meeting room. Both men entered, and Alec shut the door. He looked down at his watch and knew he had to be quick, he had to meet up at the van in five minutes.

"You know you're in charge until I get back." The dark hair man nodded. "Also.. if anything goes wrong."

"We aren't going to have to worry about it."

Alec nodded, and he spoke, "Max can just be so..." He trailed off.

Biggs moved over to him, laying a hand on his shoulder, looking straight into his eyes. "I'll be here. You don't have to worry about her. Okay?" Alec nodded, both men in understanding. "Now get your ass out there, and bring down that damn base."

Alec smiled, and laughed, "Yes sir!" he said mockingly as he opened the door. He looked at everyone, as he walked for the door, "Okay people, here we go!" And with that he was out the door, and on his way to the parking garage. He saw Mole getting into one of the vans, and moved over to the passenger side, opening the door. He looked through, "Everyone loaded up?"

"Everyone's ready, and raring to go."

He grinned, got in, and turned on the radio. "Alpha team to Beta, everything set?"

"Beta here, we are set. Are you ready?" came Max's voice.

His smile widened, "Always." He turned to Mole, "Let's roll."  
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Max's team pulled up by the north part of the building. She looked down at her watch, as they exited the van, gathering their weapons. Her eyes scanned the field, the building, the surrounding area. "Okay, people." She looked at her watch, "Two minutes, and we move." They nodded in response, and waited.

Her stomach was doing flip flops, she was worried, yet her blood was pumping, as the soldier in her was excited about the opportunity. The seconds ticked by slowly, and after what seemed like forever, it was time, she signaled, and they moved. Their bodies blurring as they ran to their position, ready to lay cover fire.  
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Alec's team moved just as quickly, making their way to the building. Grappling hooks shooting out and onto the roof, the transgenics quickly climbing them, and then running over the roof, to the center of the building. Alec signaled to the one soldier, and he started with the laser he had in his bag. In a matter of seconds a large hole in the roof was made, and they dropped through.

Alec landed on his feet after Mole in the main computer lab. As each soldier dropped through the hole they went to their respective area, setting up explosives. Alec and Mole moved to the door, busting it open, their guns going off, hitting the four guards instantly. Mole and half the team went left down the hallway, Alec went right with the others.

His team setting up explosives along the way. Three more guards rounded the corner and none of them knew what happened as they fell to the floor, Alec's men taking them out. They moved into the east wing, and two of the tech guys started to set up their new idea as quickly as possible. With the connection of a large tube of blue liquid, they nodded, and blurred their way back to the room they entered.

Mole's team found them moments later, as Alec's team was setting up the last bomb. He motioned, then put his knee out firmly and cupped his hands together. Mole put his one foot up on his knee and his other to his hand, and Alec hurled him up. The reptilian man disappearing through the hole in the roof for a moment, then peering back inside, with a thumbs up. Alec motioned to the others, and the Xs started to jump up and out on their own.

With the last tube in place, the remaining soldiers jumped back to the roof, and out, Alec following. They started running back over the roof, hearing gun fire. "Go! Don't stop!" He yelled as he ran, his hand moving into his pocket, taking out the detonator as he ran. They all jumped over the side of the building, the Xs catching Mole as he jumped, then running over the field.

Bullets whirling by their heads, he could hear more gun fire, and smiled slightly knowing it was Max, she had his back as he could feel the bullets stop flying by. He hit the button. And a second later a loud blast pushed them all to the ground. He turned back as the whole building went up in a huge ball of fire and smoke, the building crumpling to the ground. "Damn!" He said, and turned onto his back, as he watched the fire consume what was barely left.

"I said they were good." Mole said next to him. He almost laughed, but stopped suddenly.

His ear caught the sounds, the sound of gun fire. His eyes zoomed around the area, and that's when he saw it. Just to the west of the once large building. It looked like a small war, one group diverging on the other. His eyes focused, "Max, what the hell? You aren't supposed to be there."

He turned to Mole, "Go back to headquarters, I'll meet you there." He said as he took Mole's other gun and started to run down toward the other group. He ran quickly, his heart beating fast. She wasn't supposed to move from her spot, no matter what. But he knew she had. Shehad moved her team to protect his unit, and now they were out in the open. Open for the guards who weren't inside.

His eyes scanned as he ran, his gun ready, he saw her shooting back, her long dark hair flowing out behind her in the wind. One soldier went down beside her, and he willed his legs to go faster. His eyes moving, looking at the other side, he saw the gun, he saw it aim, and he tried to move quicker.

He heard it go off. He heard the bullets move through the air. He saw her body shake, her eyes widen. He kept moving, his body hitting hers, pain shooting into his back. Their bodies hitting the ground, his face looking down into her dark, unmoving eyes, her mouth bubbling out blood. His brain yelling *Too late.* His heart, his mind crying out, not wanting to see it, and with another sharp stab he didn't have to anymore.


	48. Chapter 48

Biggs looked over Luke's shoulder at the computer, his head looking up at the sound of the door, a small smile coming on his face as the blonde walked in. But it quickly faded at seeing the look on her face, "What's wrong?"

She walked over to them, and sighed, "Are they back yet?" He shook his head no. "Why?"

"Cece, calm down, they still have time before they have to be back." He looked over at her, and could tell she was tense, "What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

He shook his head, "Don't give me that, I can read it on your face."

"They shouldn't have went."

Biggs gave her a strange look, "What do you mean?"

"I have a very bad feeling about this." He put his hand on her shoulder, and pulled her closer to him, "They have gone on tons of missions, don't worry about it."

She shook her head, "This is different."

"Why is this so different?"

"This was very dangerous, if Alec knew...." She sighed, and leaned into him.

"If Alec knew what?" He asked again.

"Nothing," she said with a sigh and looked at the computer screen. "How much longer?"  
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Pain, absolute pain ran through him, but it wasn't just from the bullet holes in his body. It was the pain that ran through his heart, the image of her dead eyes staring up at him plaguing his mind. His senses slowly coming back to him. His body feeling the blood leaking from the holes in his body, onto the cold concrete floor below him. 

His eyes slowly opened, trying to focus. As they adjusted he found himself in a room, his eyes moving and then settling on the form in front of him. Her body was laying a few feet from him, her back to him, her long dark hair in disarray. Part of him hoped, and prayed the image of her before was wrong, he tried to find his voice, call out to her. "Max..." 

Part of him knew that it was hopeless, but he tried again, even at seeing the huge pool of blood that surrounded her body. "Maxxx, please." But she didn't move, and as his eyes zoomed in on her, his ears listened carefully he knew the answer. There was only one heartbeat in the room, there was only one person breathing, and he prayed to God that it could have been her.

He tried to reach for her, to turn her over, even though he knew looking at her still face would kill him. He needed to touch her. But he soon found out he couldn't move, his left wrist was cuffed and chained to the floor. He struggled against it, but the bullet holes shot pain though his back and shoulder as he struggled. 

He looked at her form again, his eyes watering, *I failed,* he thought, *I failed you.* His heart felt like it was being ripped out of his chest. Alec moved slowly into a sitting position, noticing the small puddle of blood that was under him as well, but he didn't care. His thoughts were focused on her. After everything, she was gone, and he was once again all alone.

But he wasn't alone for long, as the door opened. His head shot up into the eyes of White. "Well, 494. Welcome back."

White would have been dead instantly from the look Alec gave him, as pure hate ran though him. He pulled at the chain, trying to get up, trying to run over to him and kill the son of a bitch for what he had done to Max, to him.

"Calm down 494, or you might hurt yourself even more." White said walking over to the body on the floor with a smile. His foot kicked her, rolling her over. Her face coming into view, her eyes still wide open, blood stains on her mouth, her cheek. Alec's mind recalled the image of blood flowing out of her mouth, his body shaking slightly.

Her dark eyes now held no sparkle, no life at all, his eyes closed, a tear falling down his cheek. He heard White laugh and he didn't care, he didn't care at all.

"See, 494. I told you. I said it didn't matter if you told us where she was or not, we would still get her. And we did. All your pain, all your torture, was for nothing."

Alec shook his head. Even though he had failed, even though she was dead, she lived for those extra months. They lived for those months, they were together during that time. "Go to hell."

White came over closer to him, "No, that's where you are going to go. You'll follow her there, one way or another." White kicked her again, and Alec struggled again the chain, wanting to tear him in two for touching her. The other man just laughed. "It's a shame really."

"What?" Alec spat out at him, disgust and hatred filling his voice.

"That I didn't have the chance myself to kill her, or kill her in front of you. I would have enjoyed that."

Alec tried to leap to his feet, "You sick bastard." 

White just laughed again as he walked towards the door, taking the gun out of his holster. He removed all the bullets and put them in his pocket, but kept one out. He loaded it back into the gun with a grin. "Well 494 I'm actually giving you a choice. You can die the way that I choose for you, and trust me I was no where near finished with you." 

Alec struggled again, trying to rip the chain from the floor, but it was bolted down to tight. White continued, "Or you can take the cowards way out." He said as he opened the door, throwing the gun towards Alec, and then shutting the door behind him.   
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Cece was pacing back and forth behind him, but he wasn't going to say anything, she would just hit him again. They only had about five more minutes to get back, before they started to inquire into the needs of a search party. His head shot up as the door opened and Mole came barging through. "We've got a problem." 

The transgenic walked over to them, and Cece stopped right behind him. Biggs stood up, "What's wrong? Where's Alec?" He asked immediately knowing the X5 wasn't with him.

"Everything was going good. We blew up the building. But Max's unit had moved, and.."

"Damn it!" Biggs yelled, not needing to know anymore. "Where are they?"

"I don't know. He ordered me and the unit back here."

Biggs could see Cece start pacing again, muttering to herself, something even his enhanced hearing couldn't make out. "Okay, we wait five more minutes. Maybe they will come through the door." Cece gave him an evil look. "And while we wait, we'll try to get the satellite feed of the last twenty minutes." She nodded and came back over to him, her hands on his shoulders. He tried not to wince as her fingers dug into him.

Luke started working on the computer, trying to hack into the satellite feed. Dix came up to them, moving back and forth on his feet, as if he was trying to decide something. "What is it?" Biggs asked him.

"I don't know if this is the time or place, but..." the transgenic trailed off.

"What is it Dix?" Cece asked him.

"Well, I got the rest of the runes translated. And, well..." he stopped again. Biggs motioned for him to continue. "Well, I was mostly right before. Here's what it says." He looked at the piece of paper, and took a deep breath. "When the stars fall, the strength of two will become one. And when the shroud of death covers the face of the earth, the one whose power WAS hidden, will deliver US the helpless. Whom will become strong. Strong blood will flow like wine. Those who drink shall remain."

"I'm not an expert here, but does that mean what I think it does?" Mole asked looking at the rest of them. 

Biggs looked over his shoulder, and saw the pale look on Cece's face, and knew the truth. *So if Max dies...* he closed his eyes for a second, *We're all fucked.*  
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Alec caught the gun before it hit him in the chest, his ears picking up on the loud locking of the metal door. He looked down at the gun in his hands, his mind remembering the pain and the torture inflicted on him for a month by White. His eyes lifted, catching hers once again. Nothing, nothing at all, staring back at him.

How many times had his hands caressed that face? How many times had his lips caught hers? His mind recalled the sound of his name from her mouth, the whispered words of love in his ear, the feeling of her warm skin against his. His heart broke again, knowing that her skin was now cold to the touch. The smell of her blood permeated the air, and made him sick to his stomach. 

He felt empty, completely empty. His hands came to his face, tears flowing down his cheeks. When White had him before, he had no choice, he would have gladly died to stop the pain, and save her. But now, she was gone, he had failed in protecting her, and now he had a choice.

Alec knew Max, he knew she would want him to live, to go on, to help in the cause. But he wasn't free. He struggled against the chains again, he looked at the metal door, he felt the pain run through his aching body. He heard White's threats in his head again. His body cringing, feeling the remembered pain, the torture. 

He thought of the others, his command. He knew that Biggs, Mole, and Cece could take care of everything. He knew they were more than capable of it. But he also knew that if he was alive, they would try and come after him, try and save him. Possibly ending up hurt or captured themselves. And if they did save him, what good would he be to them? What good would he be to them if White got his claws into him again?

He lifted his head from his hands, his eyes looking over her form once again. He didn't want to die, but all the other prospects scared the hell out of him more. He couldn't imagine going through anymore torture. He didn't want to endanger anyone else so that they could save him. He didn't want to think about living another day knowing that he had lost her, failed her.

He swallowed the lump in his throat, as he picked up the gun, his eyes looking over her, taking in the horrific image. "I'm sorry Max," he said lifting the gun to the side of his head, "I'm so sorry." His finger went to the trigger.


	49. Chapter 49

Biggs looked at Cece, "You knew?" He couldn't believe it, "Why didn't you say anything?"

"I didn't know until just a little bit ago, heck, Max doesn't even know."

He shook his head, and moved towards Luke, "How's the satellite footage coming?"

"It's downloading right now."

"Good, we need to figure out what happened." Biggs sighed running a hand though his hair, he looked at his watch, there was still one minute. *They could make it back in a minute, right?* he asked himself, knowing he was being too hopeful.

The group all jumped slightly at the voice behind them, "Hey Mole, where's Alec?"

They all turned in unison to see Max standing there. "Max?" Cece asked with a shocked look.  
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Max looked at everyone staring at her in shock, "What? Why is everyone looking at me like that? And where the hell is Alec?"

Mole walked over to her, "What do you mean where the hell is Alec? He went after you. To save your ass for moving positions."

"We never moved."

"Yes you did, we saw you!"

She gave Mole a strange look, "No, we didn't! We stayed at the north side of the building, and gave you cover fire. The building exploded, and we left." Then she remembered his words, "Alec came to save me? Where is he?!" She yelled moving closer to the reptilian man.

"He went after what he thought was your group," he replied.

Max shook her head, it didn't make any sense. "But that's not possible!"

"Guys!" Luke said, waving everyone over, "Look at this." He pointed at the computer screen, it showed the base, as well as both of their teams. But then it showed another group of people moving out of the building at the side, and another one coming out close by.

"That's them." Mole said, as the screen then showed the building blow up.

Max's heart dropped, as she watched someone moving from the one group, and running towards the other one. She knew that it was Alec. Everyone stood there watching the other group descend onto the first one he had just ran to. Max swallowed as they watched some vehicles pull up to the spot. Then others dragging people in them. "Oh God," she said out loud, her mind going on, *White's got him again.*

"Try and follow those vehicles on satellite. Find out where they went." Biggs said from behind her, then she felt his hand on her shoulder, and saw Cece come around to her.

"We'll get him back," Cece told her softly.

"What if we're too late?" Max said looking up at her. Then she shook her head, "No, no we can't be." She went back over to Luke, looking at the computer. "Where did they take him?" She asked.

"Max, stop. You aren't going after him."

She looked at Biggs like he was nuts, "Are you crazy? Of course I am."

"No, you aren't Max. Alec wouldn't want you to," the blonde replied.

"Like that makes a difference." She said, her temper starting to flare. She had to find him, had to get him back. There was no way in hell that she was going to let White have him again. She knew they had been set up. That White had set up the other team, somehow. Somehow he had found out they were coming. And he did it just to lure Alec there, get his revenge. "I can't lose him," she said, her eyes starting to water, "Not again."

"Max, you aren't going." Joshua said from behind her, and she turned to look at him.

"Yes I am!" She was getting angry, very angry. And it seemed like everyone was getting closer to her, surrounding her.

Cece looked at her, "Max... you know Alec wouldn't want you to." Max was about ready to cut her off, but she continued with a wave of her hand, "Max, the test was positive."

She staggered at the news. Joshua's arms went around her, holding her up. *Positive? It was positive,* she could barely believe it. Her eyes widened, she couldn't find her voice. "I'm pregnant?" She asked softly, and the blonde nodded.

"That's not all Max," Biggs said, pulling her slowly over to Dix, Joshua moving with her. She felt light headed from all the news. "Dix translated the rest of the runes, you should read this." He handed her the paper.

Her eyes got even bigger as she read it. *My Heat did come early for a reason. It came because of that damn meteor shower.* Her hand went to her stomach, her eyes looking up at Biggs and Cece, "It was all planned. This... baby."

They nodded. Dix gave her a small smile, "It looks like Alec was your protector, and the two of you. Well, that baby," he said pointing to her stomach, "Is what is supposed to save everyone. The baby's blood, maybe it's DNA, or antibodies, or something."

She felt dizzy. It was all too much, way too much to process all at once. They really were made for each other. Joshua grabbed her hand, and looked at her, "You can't go, you have to stay safe. For you, for the baby, for everyone... for Alec."

Tears streamed down her face. She knew they were right, but how could she live without him? She had just gotten him back, she couldn't lose him again. She couldn't go through all that again, and she couldn't let him go through it all again. "You better find him." She told them.

"We will," Biggs said, moving quickly back to Luke, "Tell me what you got!"  
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White stood outside the metal door, leaning against the wall. Everything had gone as planned. Sure, he didn't get 452, like he had hoped. But he did get to kill her clone, another one, 454. But the best thing was he had 494. He had been enraged to find out that 494 had somehow escaped, but he had known that it was 452 that had rescued him.

*She'll come after him,* he thought, *Even if he does kill himself, she won't know that,* he smiled.

He jumped slightly when he heard the gun go off. He walked over to the door, and peered through the window, his grin getting larger, as he unlocked the door, and walked into the room. White picked up the gun that had dropped from the man's hand, and whipped the blood off of it onto his coat, putting it back in the holster. "One down, one to go."


	50. Chapter 50

Max was shaking. She felt sick to her stomach, and it wasn't because of the baby. Joshua's arms wrapped around her a little tighter, and he leaned in from behind, and whispered in her ear. "We'll bring him back home, Little Fella. We'll find him." 

She knew he was trying to comfort her, but she could also tell that he wasn't that sure about it. Neither was she. *He knew!* she screamed in her head. "White knew we were coming. How the hell did he know?" she mumbled out, quietly. 

Biggs looked over at her, from just behind Luke. "I don't know. I've got Mole questioning the scouts now." 

"Have we figured out where the vans went with him?" she asked. 

The dark haired man shook his head, "Not yet. But we are getting closer." Luke nodded in agreement in front of him. 

Max nodded, and Cece laid a hand on her shoulder, "Let's sit down." 

She shook her head, "No, I want to know what's happening." 

"Max, come on. Sit down. You are still here in the same room, you'll know as soon as we all do." The three slowly moved over to the couch. The two women sitting down on it, Joshua resting on the arm behind Max. "How do you feel?" 

Max could see the concern in the other woman's eyes. "How do you think I feel?" she asked, a little anger in her voice. "I just found out that I'm pregnant, and the father is being held captive or worse by a mad man." Tears trickled down her face, and she bent her head, "And he has no idea. I never even hinted to him that I might be." 

The other woman's hand came out and held onto hers, "You'll be able to tell him as soon as we get him back." 

She shook her head, and closed her eyes. She prayed that would be true, but she had a horrible feeling that they were already too late, that they weren't going to be able to save him this time. But she did know that if they were going to bring him back, they had to do it soon, very soon. Because if White started to torture him once again... her body shuddered at the thought. She just didn't know if Alec would be able to withstand anymore of it. 

The door opened again, and Mole walked over to Biggs. "I talked with them. They are all loyal, I can tell. And as far as they could tell, they were not spied on." 

The dark hair man nodded, "Maybe they were using the satellite footage like we are now. Damn! That means we are going to have to be a lot more careful in the future." He looked at his watch, then back to the other transgenic. "Okay, go assemble a rescue team. Small but efficient. Get them everything they need. I want it ready in less than ten minutes." Mole nodded, and left. 

Max felt the light squeeze of her hand from the other woman, but she didn't pay attention. Her other hand moved to her stomach, her mind remembering the first place the runes had shown up. Realization dawning on her that they had been triggered by her being pregnant, and that Alec's presence around her caused them to show even faster. 

Her heart was aching, like it was being ripped from her chest and she could barely breathe. What was she going to do without him? He was supposed to protect her. That's what the runes had said, and so far they had been right. That gave her a small sense of hope. 

She jumped slightly as another had was placed on her shoulder and she turned to see Biggs crouching next to her, a similar look of concern on his features as Cece. "Everything will be okay. You, the baby, and Alec. I'll make sure of it." He told her, giving her a small smile, and she doubled over and started to sob. His arms went around her, his eyes looking to Cece, not understanding what he had said that had brought her to gut wrenching tears. 

*Oh God, no.* she thought, as her small amount of hope drained from her. She knew what Biggs had meant by that, even though he didn't say it, she knew. She knew Alec had asked him to take care of her, *Take care of me if he couldn't.* He was protecting her, even when he wasn't around. Leaving her in the hands of people he could trust.   
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White stood back up, and laughed down at the body. "I always knew you were a coward, 494." He circled over to the other body, kicking her back over. "I just wonder how many clones of the two of you I have to deal with. It's like someone created enough of you two to confuse the hell out of everyone else. But none of their DNA is like yours or 452's." He kicked the body again in rage. 

The man just couldn't understand it, none of the other X5's had clones likes this. Yeah sure, some had twins that occurred when the fertilized egg had naturally split. But 494 and 452 seemed to have an over abundance of look alike's. He balled his fists in frustration, but then smiled. It didn't matter anymore. "Well I got the real 494, and the real 452 will come for you. She doesn't know you're dead." 

He laughed turning back to the woman on the floor, "I just don't see it 494. I don't see why anyone would want to die for 452." He laughed again, "Especially a clone of her. But I guess you didn't know that." He said as his foot came out to kick the body again, but this time his foot didn't make contact, as he was pulled backwards. 

His back hit the chest of 494. A metal chain wrapped around his throat, pulling him tighter, squeezing him, his feet being pulled from the floor. A loud hiss in his ear, "First rule, never turn your back on the enemy."   
___________________________________ 

Anger and hatred fueled Alec's body as he pulled the chain attached to his wrist tighter around White's throat. The broken link from the gun shot at the end in the other hand. Adrenaline pumping through his bleeding body. "Second rule, always look for the bullet hole." His hands red with the blood he had smeared on the gun. 

The man in his arms struggled, kicking backwards. But Alec moved quickly, ramming him against the other wall. White's forehead connecting with the concrete. "I thought pain was a figment of the mind." Alec growled at him, from the small groan that White gave out, as he tried to gasp for air, his hands on the chain. 

A smile came across Alec's face as he was watching White's face start to turn blue, "What? The familiars didn't practice in the 'tank'? I guess air isn't a figment of the mind." His hands pulled tighter, as the man struggled, kicking him, but he didn't even feel it. 

He wanted his revenge, he wanted to torture and hurt the man in his arms more than anything, "I should torture your body and mind like you did mine. Make you understand what pain is. But I'm not like you." He said, and with a quick jerk of his arms, a loud snap echoed through the room. White stopped struggling, his body slumping, his neck hanging at a weird angle. 

Alec dropped the body to the floor, the chain falling from the man's neck, still connected to Alec's wrist. He staggered slightly, his body throbbing as the pain caught back up to him, the loss of blood making him slightly dizzy. The hate and rage of the man dead at his feet slowly evaporating, taking away his strength. He looked down at the female form, his hand going to the back of her neck, moving the hair away, his eyes closing, seeing the bar code. 

*454,* he thought with a sigh of relief. He cringed at the idea of another X5 being dead, but he couldn't help the relief that washed through him, now knowing for sure that it wasn't Max. He turned to White, took his gun, and the bullets back out of his pocket, and loaded them. He moved over to the door, peered into the other room, and made his way though it, to the hallway.   
___________________________________ 

"Okay, the van went into this parking garage." Luke said pointing at the computer, "I'm getting the schematics of the building right now." 

"Good." Biggs said from behind him. 

Max was sitting in a chair beside the computer, resting her head in her hands, rocking slightly. She was drained, physically, emotionally. She looked at her watch, the minutes were ticking by too quickly for her liking. The longer it took them, the worse she felt. She jumped slightly as Dix yelled out from by the TV monitors. "Oh my God. It's him!" 

She was on her feet and over to the televisions in seconds, looking at where Dix was pointing. Everyone else rushing up behind her. "Alec..." She barely got out, as she ran out the door, running footsteps following her. She exited the building, running as fast as her legs would carry her, her eyes seeing his form moving slowly towards them. "Alec!" She yelled, as she got to him, her arms moving around him, pulling him against her. 

She heard him wince, and she pulled away, looking at him, then her hands covered in blood. "Oh my God. CECE!" She yelled, her arms moving around him lightly. The others were there instantly. Biggs and Cece put their arms around him on either side, picking his feet up from the floor, and ran in a blur to the medical building, Max close behind with the others. 

He was already up on the table, on his stomach, his shirt ripped off as she got through the door. Cece was barking orders to the others in the room. Max moved to him, her hand reaching out for his, as she crouched down to the table, her eyes looking into his. "Thank God, you're okay." She said, her eyes flicking upward, watching Cece put in an IV into his other arm, blood starting to run down the tube, as someone else brought over a tray of instruments. 

Her eyes moved back to his, as she squeezed his hand. His hazel eyes were just staring at her, "Max..." he trailed off. 

"I'm right here," she said with a small smile. Her eyes meeting Cece's again, a questioning look going to the other woman. 

"He's going to be fine," she told Max with a grin, "He just needs some blood, and these bullets out of him," she said injecting some pain killers into the IV. 

She looked back down at him, his hand dropped hers and moved to the side of her face, cupping her cheek, and she leaned into his hand. She watched his lips start to move, "I thought she was you. They tried to make me think it was you." 

She nodded, "We know, we got the satellite footage." 

Max could tell he was in shock, as he barely seemed to hear her, but went on talking. "You were dead, they shot you. He showed me the body." 

She shuddered slightly. *White.* She thought, *He had him again.* She tried to hold back the tears. *They made him think I was dead.* 

"He gave me a gun." He told her, his eyes slightly glassy, as if his mind was replaying the scene, the words just spilling from him at remembering. "Told me, I was going to join you. His way or my way." 

She shivered at his words, *White gave him the chance to kill himself.* She could barely breathe, but then she finally let it out. Knowing that he obviously hadn't done it, that he had somehow gotten away. She felt relieved to know that he wouldn't kill himself if something ever happened to her. 

His hand slowly moved down her face and neck. His fingers came to the gold chain around her neck, and fingered the ruby heart that dangled from it. His eyes closed slightly, his words so quiet, "Thank God you never take it off." 

And with that her lip started to tremble, tears rushed down her face, and she knew that he had almost done it. He had almost pulled that trigger, but somehow, before he did, he had seen that the body hadn't been wearing that necklace. She thanked every God in the known universe that he had noticed, that she had never removed it since he and given it to her, and she never would. Ever. 

She caught Cece's look, and watched her put something else into the IV, and then gave her some hand signals. Max nodded at them, and looked back down at Alec. Her hand came to the side of his face, "I love you." She said softly, "I'll be right here when you wake up. I promise." She said, watching his eyes start to droop, and then close. 

Once she knew he was asleep, her body started to shake, and the sobs washed over her. She was relieved he was okay, that he was back. But the reality of what happened, what almost had happened was too much. She felt Joshua's arms go around her, hugging her, and she leaned into them, as the tears fell.   
___________________________________ 

His eyes slowly opened, and he thought for a second that maybe he had dreamed the whole thing, but the pain that ran through him as he shifted, made it clear that he hadn't. Then his heart raced, and he tried to sit up. "Max..." He had to see her, make sure she was okay, that..... 

Arms pushed him gently back onto the bed, her voice soothing him, "I'm right here." 

Alec's head moved quickly to her, a sense of relief washing over him, his eyes gazing over her, settling on the ruby, then moving back up to her dark eyes. His hand reached for hers, and she took it. She then moved up, and sat on the edge of the bed. He motioned for her to come closer, he needed her in his arms. 

She twisted slightly, leaning her head against his chest, his arm moving around her. He winced slightly, but didn't care about the pain. He had her back in his arms, and that's all that mattered. He closed his eyes, and rested his head on the top of hers. Her voice making his lids open again. "Why the hell did you go after me? Or whomever you thought was me?" 

"What?" 

She looked up at him, "We were all supposed to do what we were told to do, and that included you. You didn't follow your own orders." 

He looked at her shocked, "You moved!" 

She shook her head, "No, I didn't. I followed your orders." 

"Max..." 

"I know, I know, it looked like me. But still." 

He knew she wasn't angry with him, she had just been worried, afraid, and this was her way of telling him. His hand went to the side of her face. "Max, I couldn't help it. You were, or someone I thought was you, was in danger. I couldn't just sit there. I told you I would always protect you, and I will." He felt her slightly stiffen at his words. "What?" he asked. 

"Dix translated the rest of the symbols." He nodded at her, waiting for her to go on. "You're my protector." She said simply, and his eyes widened. Maybe he had been right about his presence trigging them on her somehow. "Also, you were right." She said with a small smile, "About the meteor shower." Alec gave her a strange look, he had no idea what she was talking about. "It triggered my Heat." 

He nodded, "Okay." He wasn't sure why that would be in the runes, but the whole thing was bizarre anyway. He looked down at her, and saw an uncomfortable look in her eye. "Max, what is it?" He could tell she was trying to find the right words, to what she wanted to say, but was having difficulty. 

"Well, you know how it said I would deliver the helpless?" He nodded in response. "Well, the runes go on to talk about someone that will save everyone by what's in their blood." 

Alec nodded again. *So it must be our job to try and find this person,* he thought, wondering if the symbols told them how the heck they were supposed to do that. His eyes caught her dark ones again, and they were staring back at him, looking at him, as if trying to figure out his reaction. He gave her a strange look, "Okay." 

She gave a small smile, her hand moving over his. "I'll be 'delivering' this 'person' in about eight months," she said as she moved his hand down to her stomach. 

His heart stopped and the world stilled as her words entered his head. *Pregnant. Max is pregnant.* The words went though his head over and over again, *A baby. My baby.* He looked down at her hand over his on her stomach, and then his eyes went back to hers, "I'm going to be a father?" he asked, shock evident in his voice. 

She nodded at him, and he could see the uncertainty in her eyes, the worry. His arm pulled her tighter to him, and his mouth found hers, kissing her softly. Then pulled away looking back at her, a feeling of utter joy washing over him, and a large smile. And with that he got one in return, "I love you." He said simply, not sure of what other words could exactly convey what he was feeling. 

"I love you too," she said. Her words moving over his mind, his heart, his soul. His arms wrapped around her, pulling her towards him, her arm resting on his chest, their lips coming back together. Both not caring who saw them like this.   
___________________________________ 

Another couple sat across the room, watching them. 

"They have a lot of healing to do. Physically, and emotionally form all this," Biggs said, looking over at Cece, his hand holding hers tightly, lifting it to his mouth, and kissing it gently. 

She smiled softly at him, and then turned back to look at the other two, "They love each other. They'll get through it together." He nodded in response, and she continued, "Because love can heal anything."


End file.
